Why sustainable ministry starts with knowing what is yours to carry Pastors are called to care for people. But that does not mean they are called to carry everything. In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author Margaret Marcuson to talk about what it takes for pastors and ministry leaders to stay in their work without losing themselves in the process. Margaret has spent more than two decades helping pastors become less burdened in ministry. She shares why over-responsibility is so common among leaders, how expectations from congregations and family patterns can reinforce it, and why setting limits is about more than time management. It requires clarity about your role, your responsibility, and your call. Together, Tonya and Margaret explore what happens when pastors step back, why guilt does not always mean you are making the wrong choice, and how taking less responsibility can create space for other people to grow. If you have ever felt responsible for keeping everything and everyone together, this conversation is a reminder that doing your part does not mean doing it all. You’ll hear how:Pastors are navigating financial pressure, political polarization, changing churches, and the everyday emotional demands of ministrySustainable leadership requires clarity of call and self-management, not simply better time managementTaking responsibility for everything can prevent other people from learning what they are capable of doingFamily patterns and expectations can shape how leaders relate to responsibilityGuilt can show up when you set a healthy boundary without meaning the boundary is wrongIntentional rest creates space to be free from responsibility before exhaustion forces you to stopHealthy churches make room for connection, differing perspectives, and leadership that is not centered entirely on the pastorPastors can begin creating sustainable ministry by protecting time off, staying connected to healthy people, and learning to “keep calm-ish”Leaving one church does not necessarily mean leaving ministry, and leaving ministry does not mean you have failed your calling Episode Highlights[01:30] What pastors and ministry leaders are carrying right now[06:50] Why sustainable ministry requires self-management and clarity of call[10:30] Taking the church off your back and letting go of the outcome[14:10] Why over-responsibility can become part of a leader’s identity[17:30] False guilt and what happens when you finally step back[21:10] Why naps, rest, and turning off notifications belong in sustainable ministry[25:00] Is church still worth it and what makes a church healthy?[28:20] Three small ways pastors can make ministry more sustainable[30:00] What to consider when you are thinking about leaving ministry Resources & MentionsSustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret MarcusonLeaders Who Last by Margaret MarcusonMargaret Marcuson’s clergy coaching Meet Our GuestMargaret Marcuson is a clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author who has spent more than two decades helping pastors and ministry leaders develop sustainable approaches to leadership. After serving as a pastor herself for about 15 years, Margaret began coaching clergy to lead with greater freedom, clarity, and less over-responsibility. Her latest book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap, explores how pastors can take responsibility for themselves within the systems they serve without carrying the entire church on their backs. Meet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess. Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast Hub What’s NextNext episode, Tonya reflects on how Margaret’s perspective applies far beyond pastors to anyone expected to hold other people together. What does it cost to become everyone else’s emotional safety net?
