Real Over Ideal

Vanessa Gorelkin
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Mental Health

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

  1. 2d ago

    GLP-1's- A Weight Loss Meds Episode

    Understanding the Cultural Shift Around Body Image and GLP-1s   In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the rise of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and their complex impact on body image, health perceptions, and societal norms. She offers a clear, insightful critique of the trend, emphasizing that health and worth are about much more than body size. Key Topics:   The cultural and social media influence on body image and the normalization of weight loss drugs  The biological and physiological effects of GLP-1 medications and their long-term implications  How societal narratives link thinness to health, morality, and worth  The importance of redefining health beyond appearance and size  Practical advice for navigating body acceptance and resisting the shrinking trend  The science behind weight regain after stopping medications and potential side effects  The significance of body neutrality and affirming identity outside of societal standards  Timestamps: 00:37 - Introduction: Body not a trend, physiology fights back 00:52 - Personal background and purpose of the episode 01:09 - The cultural shift: GLP-1 drugs and social media narratives 01:40 - Advertising and societal pressures to slim down 02:28 - Why thinness doesn’t equate to longevity 03:08 - Body acceptance and rejecting the trend of shrinking 03:43 - The impact of canceling food and appetite through medication 04:06 - Distinguishing between medical use and societal normalization 04:27 - The original purpose of GLP-1 medications in diabetes management 05:06 - The projected scale of GLP-1 usage in America by 2030 05:29 - Framing weight loss as a moral versus medical issue 06:08 - The fragility of weight loss achieved through medications 06:58 - Research on weight regain after stopping GLP-1s 07:23 - Biological mechanisms behind weight regain and hunger hormones 07:38 - The body's rebound effect and metabolism adaptation 08:18 - The behavioral side: scaffolding and emotional patterns 08:45 - Societal obsession: thinness as moral virtue 09:11 - Side effects and health risks of GLP-1s 09:25 - Chronic issues like gastroparesis, gallstones, and nutritional deficiencies 10:20 - Mood disturbances and long-term effects for diabetics 11:10 - The importance of existing fully in your body as resistance 11:49 - Moving away from transformation narratives toward acceptance 12:16 - Redefining health: from moral to functional and holistic 12:46 - The difference between appearance and actual health metrics 13:16 - Reclaiming personal health choices and self-trust 14:06 - Challenging the association of thinness with health and effort 15:30 - Reframing health with new vocabulary: strength, stability, connection 16:03 - The importance of non-morally judging health status 16:41 - The value of tapering off medications and understanding reversibility 17:14 - Informed decision-making about long-term medication use 17:25 - Practical tips: social media detox, eating in public, mirror practices 17:55 - Challenging internalized shame and societal expectations 18:25 - Embracing your body as your home, not a project to fix 19:07 - Closing thoughts: authenticity and self-worth beyond weightResources & Links:   Vanessa Gorelkin — for therapy and body image support  Connect with Vanessa Gorelkin:   Website  Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  2. Jul 23

    Imposter syndrome -updated

    If you ever feel crushing doubts about yourself- especially in circumstances that baffle you, this episode is for you. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: A Personal Reflection and Practical GuideIn this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin candidly shares her ongoing battle with imposter syndrome while creating content about it. Her honest narrative serves as both a personal case study and a guide for listeners grappling with similar doubts. Discover insights about the prevalence, causes, and scientifically-backed strategies to address imposter feelings. Main Topics Covered:   Vanessa’s personal experience with imposter syndrome during episode creationThe scientific understanding of imposter syndrome as a cognitive distortionWhy high-achievers are especially prone to self-doubt The role of workplace environments and societal expectations in fostering imposter feelings Practical tips to recognize and challenge imposter syndrome in real timeReframing self-doubt: from incompetence to care and responsibilityThe importance of self-compassion and perspective-taking during career transitionsAdditional notes: Remember, imposter syndrome is a common human experience—your feelings do not define your capabilities. Embrace the discomfort as part of your growth journey, and give yourself credit for the progress you are making. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  3. Jul 16

    The Anxiety of ‘What If’

    Overcoming the "What-Ifery": How to Tame Your Brain's Catastrophic Thinking In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the fascinating phenomenon of "what-ifery" — the mental habit of imagining every potential disaster. She explores how this is a natural but often unhelpful part of human cognition and offers practical, science-backed tools to build resilience against anxiety caused by relentless hypothetical fears. Main Topics: The neurological basis of "what-ifery" and intolerance of uncertaintyHow catastrophic thinking amplifies anxiety and shrinks your worldFive effective techniques grounded in cognitive science for managing worry and uncertaintyPractical tools like labeling thoughts, shrinking timelines, and body anchoringHow to shift from prediction to capability to foster confidence in decision-making  Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  4. Jul 9

    Summertime Blues- Remastered

    Here's a great episode published a little over a year ago that always matters in the summertime. If you're a person who knows the summertime blues or have a loved one who feels this way-- help is on the way in this updated episode. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  5. Jul 2

    Your Emotional "HOA"

    Uncover and Rewrite Your Emotional Homeowners Association Rules In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores how subconscious "rules"—much like HOA bylaws—govern our emotions and behaviors, often causing stress and guilt. She offers practical strategies to identify outdated or unhelpful rules and update them to better serve our current lives. Key Topics: The metaphor of emotional HOAs and how they enforce internal rulesHow childhood and cultural messages embed rules we aren't aware ofThe impact of outdated rules on our mental health and well-beingTechniques to identify, question, and revise limiting internal rulesThe importance of values-based behavior over rigid rule enforcement Recognizing conditioned responses, like feeling guilty about bedmakingPractical tips for practicing self-compassion and updating internal standards The connection between self-regulation, self-schema, and guiltHow to shift from punishment to flexible, realistic standards Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  6. Jun 25

    Imposter Syndrome

    Embracing Imposter Syndrome: A Personal Reflection with Vanessa Gorelkin In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin openly shares her recent struggles with procrastination and imposter syndrome, providing a candid behind-the-scenes look at confronting self-doubt. It’s a relatable deep dive into understanding and managing imposter feelings, especially for high-achievers and those navigating new challenges.Key Topics   The personal battle with imposter syndrome and how it can delay progressThe prevalence and scientific basis of imposter syndrome, affecting up to 62% of peopleCharacteristics of those prone to imposter feelings: conscientious, high-achieving, sensitive Imposter syndrome as a cognitive distortion: a mismatch between perceived and actual competenceEnvironment factors that amplify imposter feelings: underrepresented groups, ambiguous rolesNeuroscience insights: the brain’s threat detection system versus confidence-buildingPractical tips to recognize and confront imposter syndrome, including labeling feelings and perspective shiftingThe importance of growth mindset: replacing "I don’t know" with "I’m learning"Standard post-graduation doubts and how they are natural steps into professional identityReassurance that feeling like an imposter signals growth, not incompetenceEncouragement to "do it anyway" despite doubts and high standards  Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  7. Jun 18

    Ariana Grande & (Energy) Receipts like Phone Numbers

    Understanding the Bounce Back Tax: Why High-Functioning Days Leave You Drained Ever had a day where everything seems to go perfectly, only to crash the next morning? This episode breaks down the concept of the "bounce back tax" — the invisible toll your body and brain pay after high-energy days — and offers practical strategies to manage it without guilt or burnout. Main Topics Covered:  The science behind effort costs and energy expenditure How high-functioning days deplete cognitive resources and cause physical fatigueThe role of ego depletion, allostatic load, and dopamine dips in post-productivity crashesSocial science insights into social regulation fatigue and emotional laborPractical strategies: The 80% day, reset window, and minimum effort floorsReframing rest as productive recovery rather than non-functional  Remember, your high-energy days cost something — honoring that helps you build sustainable productivity and kindness to yourself. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

  8. Jun 11

    Relapse and Recovery

    Understanding and Navigating Mental Health Relapses with Vanessa Gorelkin. In this episode, your host, Vanessa Gorelkin, a licensed occupational therapist with 30 years of experience, discusses the often misunderstood nature of mental health relapses. She shares her personal journey with depression, explains why relapse is a common part of recovery, and provides practical strategies to cope and prevent shame during setbacks. Main Topics: The reality of mental health relapses as a natural, predictable part of recoveryThe importance of accepting medication and continuous care for chronic mental health conditionsHow shame and silence can worsen mental health setbacks and why honesty is vitalPractical steps: honesty, consistency, and compassion during relapseStories of resilience, including Kaylee's experience with depression and relapse managementThe significance of support systems and open communication with loved onesMyths about linear recovery and embracing a lifelong management approach Remember, relapse is a chapter, not the entire story. With honesty, support, and self-compassion, you can navigate setbacks and continue your journey towards mental wellness. Hey listeners! From the heart-- this episode was emotional--  I cried while I recorded it (admittedly, I'm a pretty easy crier!) because talking about relapse is painful but I truly hope this episode helpful someone today. Sending love your way. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

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About

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

Information

  • Creator
    Vanessa Gorelkin
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    67
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Real Over Ideal
  • Show Website
    Real Over Ideal

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