In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

Leigh Norén | Sex Therapist and Relationship Expert
  • 4.5 (2)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Biweekly

Sex advice is everywhere - but how much of it is rooted in or science, or reality? I’m Leigh Norén, sex therapist and host of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, where we take findings from the research lab and make them helpful, and actually applicable to your sex life & relationship.

  1. 5d ago

    ADHD, Attention, and Why Orgasms Are Inconsistent

    Around 20 to 30% of women struggle to orgasm during partnered sex. And while there are plenty of reasons that get talked about — relationship issues, technique, and types of sex — they don't necessarily explain why it's so inconsistent. Why sometimes you can come, sometimes you can't, and you can't for the life of you find the pattern. This week, I dig into a recent study that points to a factor most of us are barely looking at — and it might just be the missing piece. We explore: Why coming during partnered sex can be so inconsistent — and what the latest research can tell us about itThe surprising difference between inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD when it comes to orgasmic consistencyWhy orgasm requires sustained attention, and how our culture trains us out of the exact thing sex needs us to doThe link between neurodivergence and kink — and what it tells us about staying present during sexConcrete, science-backed ways to increase orgasm consistency during sex with a partner, ADHD symptoms or not Timestamps: 03:47 — What the research found about ADHD and orgasms 06:07 — Why your ADHD subtype matters for coming 08:43 — Why presence during sex is so hard 14:14 — How shame carries into the bedroom 16:55 — Practical ways to stay present during sex 17:46 — The surprising link between ADHD and kink The study in this episode: Exploring Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Symptomatology in Relation to Women's Orgasmic Consistency Published in the Journal of Sex Research by Jensen-Fogt and Pedersen. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  2. Sep 1

    Stop Trying to Recreate the Honeymoon Phase — Do This Instead (Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships)

    When couples have been together for years, boredom can start to feel like something you have to accept. You love each other, but somewhere along the way, you start wondering whether the spark left because your partner became boring — or because the relationship did. In this episode, I dig into a study on self-expansion that offers a solution to that bordeom: curiosty. And the longer you've been together, the more important it may be to keep creating moments where you get to experience each other in new ways. We explore: Why knowing your partner so well can sometimes get in the way of wanting themWhy trying to recreate the honeymoon phase usually doesn't work — and what to do insteadHow self-expanding activities can support desire and satisfaction in long-term relationshipsWhat “doing something new together” can actually look like without grand gestures, weekends away, or turning your life upside downThe catch: why one interesting date night won't carry your desire for months, and what long-term desire requires over time Timestamps: 02:14 — What the research found 05:54 — Why curiosity matters in long-term relationships 08:44 — Novelty beyond sex and techniques 14:16 — Why this matters more in longer relationships 19:49 — Small ways to bring aliveness back The study in this episode: Broadening Your Horizons: Self-Expanding Activities Promote Desire and Satisfaction in Established Romantic Relationships Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Muise, Harasymchuk, Day, Bacev-Giles, Gere, and Impett. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  3. Aug 11

    A Doctor Asks a Sex Therapist: Married at First Sight, Low Desire & What She Really Does All Day

    This week's episode is a little different. I sat down with my cousin — Dr. Chloe Vites, a GP (doctor) based in the UK — and let her ask me all the questions people usually ask me at parties, on flights, and in the DMs. Things like: Why I became a sex therapist. What I actually do in session. What it was really like filming Married at First Sight: Sweden. And the things I wish couples knew before it's too late. In this episode, we explore: The moment at 17 that made me decide this was going to be my careerWhy I chose to specialise in low desire — and what most people get wrong about who actually struggles with low libidoWhat it was really like filming Married at First Sight: Sweden (GIft vid första ögonkastet) as one of three experts, and the parts that surprised me mostThe biggest myth about desire — and why the most common assumption keeps couples stuck for yearsWhat I wish couples in crisis knew (and why I really wish they wouldn't)How I talk to my own kids about sex — and important steps not to skipThe hardest part of my work — and it isn't the topics you'd expect 01:16 — Why I became a sex therapist 03:51 — Specialising in low desire 06:28 — What sex therapy is really like 08:31 — Filming Married at First Sight Sweden (GVFÖ XL) 10:59 — The easiest & hardest parts of the job 15:59 — Being a female therapist with male clients 20:31 — How people react when they know my job (in dating & with acquaintances) 23:59 — The hardest conversation about sex for couples 28:02 — Talking to kids about sex (& how I talk to my own about it) 32:12 — What I used to believe about sex 33:30 — What people get wrong about desire 37:38 — MAFS Sweden & analysing people as an occupational hazard 40:41 — What I wish every couple knew Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  4. Jul 14

    Non-Monogamy vs Monogamy: Who's Really Happier?

    We've been taught that monogamy is the default because it's more satisfying, more "natural". But what if that's not actually what the research says? In this episode, I dig into a major new meta-analysis of 35 studies and nearly 25,000 people that compared relationship and sexual satisfaction across monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. The findings challenge a lot of what we've assumed — and what culture has been telling us for a very long time. If you've ever wondered whether opening up your relationship might fix a mismatched desire problem — I talk about why that question matters less than the reason you're asking it, from a sex-therapist lens. We explore: What a meta-analysis of nearly 25,000 people found about satisfaction in monogamous vs non-monogamous relationshipsThe uncomfortable truth about why we elevate monogamy — and what it protects us from having to look atHow non-monogamous individuals reported slightly higher trust, and what monogamous couples can learn from how non-monogamous relationships define boundariesWhen opening up a relationship can be running away from the problem — and how to tell the differenceWhat actually predicts satisfaction in a long-term relationship Timestamps: 02:51 — Opening up as a fear response 03:49 — Main findings from the study 08:27 — Monogamy doesn’t guarantee safety 10:46 — Is it okay to flirt & where does the line go? 14:59 — Why opening up may not solve the real issue 17:48 — What predicts relationship satisfaction The study in this episode: Countering the Monogamy-Superiority Myth: A Meta-Analysis of the Differences in Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction as a Function of Relationship Orientation. Published in The Journal of Sex Research in 2025. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  5. Jun 2

    I Tried Everything And It Was Never Enough | Mismatched Libidos

    A listener wrote in describing herself as a "well-scraped peanut butter jar" — nothing left to give sexually, and tired of trying. She'd had sex four days a week, spent evenings cuddling and massaging, and offered every kind of intimacy she could think of. Yet every week still brought sulking, silent treatment, and rejection tears. After two months of no sex, the pressure finally stopped — so she asked me: why would I ever go back? In this episode, I unpack what that relief is really telling us — and where to go from here. We explore: Why the relief of not having sex is usually relief from the pressure surrounding sex — and why that distinction is importantHow sulking, silent treatment, and emotional withdrawal are all examples of unhealthy relationship communication behaviours, and how they can make it impossible to say yes to sex freelyWhat happens when sex becomes a partner's primary way of feeling loved and important — and how that puts unsustainable pressure on the other personThe questions I'd ask if I were working with this couple, including when sex became this loaded and what the relationship looks like outside the bedroomWhat happens when sex becomes a partner's primary way of feeling loved — and the pressure that puts on the other partner The questions I'd ask if I were working with this couple, and why I wouldn't start with "how to get you to want more sex" Timestamps: 01:46 – The Listener's Question 02:24 – Why You're Depleted (And Why That Makes Sense) 04:18 – "Why Would I Ever Go Back?" — The Real Question 05:20 – The Relief Isn't About Sex — It's About Pressure 06:12 – What the Absence of Fighting Really Means 07:50 – Understanding the Behaviours: Sulking, Stonewalling & Withdrawal 10:19 – The Gottman Four Horsemen & Sexual Rejection 13:04 – Why "Just Try Harder" Fails the Low-Desire Partner 14:21 – What I Would Do If I Were Your Sex Therapist 17:41 – The Key Question: Do You Want to Want Sex Again? 18:59 – The Path Forward: Removing Pressure Before Rebuilding 22:58 – Summary & Takeaways 26:09 – Outro & Working with me Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  6. May 19

    The Hidden Reason You’re Struggling to Orgasm With Your Partner

    Difficulty orgasming isn’t always about you. At least, not in the way you might think. In this minisode of In Bed with Science, I’m talking about one of the less discussed reasons orgasm can become harder with a partner: when your orgasm starts to feel like proof that they’re good at sex. Orgasms aren’t gifts. And when your partner’s care, effort or disappointment becomes part of the experience, pleasure can quickly turn into pressure. In this episode, we explore: Why “giving” someone an orgasm can be an unhelpful way to think about sexHow a partner’s investment in your orgasm can make it harder to relaxWhy pressure and self-monitoring can get in the way of pleasureWhat to do when orgasm has become the goal of sex Your orgasm isn’t a performance review of your partner’s skills. And it isn’t the only proof that sex was good. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  7. May 5

    AI Vs. Therapy for Low Libido: I Put It To The Test

    AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage? So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained mental health bot and ChatGPT to see what they got right, what they got wrong, and what most people would never notice was missing. We look at what the research says about AI's accuracy in sexual & mental health, why feeling understood isn't necessarily the same as actually being understood, and where AI genuinely helps versus where it might make things like low libido and relationship issues worse. In this episode, we explore: What the research reveals about how AI chatbots actually perform on sexual health and therapy scenariosThe results of my own experiment pretending to be a client struggling with low sex drive and shame around what turns her onHow AI tends to over-validate, skip the questions a sex therapist would ask, and offer solutions before it knows youHow AI can sneakily reinforce the very patterns that create low desire and sexual problems in marriage in the first placeWhen AI is a useful thought partner for relationship and sex issues, and when it falls short of what real therapy does 02:44 - My Bias as a Therapist (Let's Be Honest) 06:13 - What the Research Says: AI Chatbot Studies 08:20 - The Experiment: Testing an AI Therapy Bot 11:46 - Test 1 – The Mental Health Bot 13:24 - Test 2 – ChatGPT 20:04 - What ChatGPT Got Wrong 22:03 - Why AI Can't Replace the Therapeutic Relationship 25:54 - AI vs. Self-Help Books: Is It the Same? 31:24 - Final Takeaway: When AI Helps & When It Falls Short Today's studies: Evaluation of Artificial Intelligence Chatbots for Providing Sexual Health Information: A Consensus Study Using Real-World Clinical Queries Published in BMC Public Health in 2025. A Comparison of Responses from Human Therapists and LLM-Based Chatbots Published in JMIR Mental Health in 2025. The Ability of AI Therapy Bots to Set Limits With Distressed Adolescents Published in JMIR Mental Health in 2025. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

  8. Apr 21

    ‘Men Will Have Sex With Anything’? A Sex Therapist Breaks Down the Harmful Myth

    We've all heard it before: "Men always want sex". They’re simple and always raring to go. As a sex therapist specialising in low libido and mismatched desire, I know the toll these kinds of myths can take on the individual and the relationship at large. In this minisode, I break down one of the most common myths about male sexuality — and how it contributes to low desire, performance pressure, and shame. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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Ratings & Reviews

4.5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Sex advice is everywhere - but how much of it is rooted in or science, or reality? I’m Leigh Norén, sex therapist and host of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, where we take findings from the research lab and make them helpful, and actually applicable to your sex life & relationship.

Information

  • Creator
    Leigh Norén | Sex Therapist and Relationship Expert
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    26
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Kessel och Norén Consult & Holding AB All Rights Reserved.
  • Show Website
    In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

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