Dear Babygurl: Notes on Life, Leadership, and Liberation

Carmen Aceves-Iñiguez
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Biweekly

Dear Babygurl: Notes on Life, Leadership, & Liberation is what happens when your therapist tia, your coach bestie, and your higher self start a group chat. This is a love letter—for my niece, and for every mujer, daughter of immigrant, queer, BIPOC, first-gen soul learning to live and lead on their own terms. Hosted by Carmen Aceves Iñiguez—licensed therapist, leadership coach, queer Xicana. This bi-weekly podcast serves up stories, side-eyes, and soul work. If you're tired of the “shoulds,” burnt out by hustle culture, and ready to laugh-cry your way to liberation, you’re in the right place.

  1. May 27

    024 - From Seed to Voice

    On growth, consistency, courage, and becoming This month marks several anniversaries for me: the first birthday of Dear Babygurl!!!!the anniversary of my private practicegraduating from my counseling psychology programMost meaningful things begin as seeds. Quiet things. Tender things.Things that don’t yet look impressive on the outside. This episode is for anyone: building something slowlylearning to trust their voiceresisting hustle culturetending to a dream without immediate proofor wondering whether their quiet consistency mattersBabygurl…sometimes the life you’re building is growing roots long before you can see the bloom. If this episode resonated with you, please consider: rating the podcastleaving a reviewsharing an episodeor posting it to your storiesYour support genuinely helps this podcast grow 🌱💛

    23 min

  2. May 13

    023 - Mothering Beyond Motherhood

    Mother’s Day can hold so many things at once. Joy.Grief.Tenderness.Estrangement.Longing.Love. In this deeply personal episode, I explore the idea that mothering is bigger than biology. It’s an energy. A presence. A way of nurturing, loving, protecting, comforting, and holding one another through life. I share reflections on: my relationship with my mother growing up between generations and cultures queerness and coming out in a traditional Mexican household the complexity of unconditional love women who mother without having children and the ways love stretches and reshapes itself across generations I also speak from my work as a therapist conducting consultations with individuals and couples using sperm or egg donors, where I often remind clients that family is not defined by DNA alone. A mother is not only the person who gives birth.A mother is also the one who shows up with love. This episode is for: anyone with a complicated relationship to Mother’s Day daughters learning to hold both grief and gratitude queer folks navigating family and identity women who nurture others without being recognized for it and anyone learning how to mother themselves with more tenderness And babygurl… maybe the deepest form of motheringis not just how we love others, but how we learnto finally love ourselves. 💛 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    23 min

  3. Apr 29

    022 - Why Conflict Feels So Hard

    Why does conflict feel so hard? Why do we replay conversations in our heads, stay quiet when something doesn’t sit right, or say yes when our whole body is saying no? In this episode, we are not talking about how to handle conflict. We are talking about the part most people skip. The why. Because before you can have a courageous conversation, you have to understand what happens inside of you when conflict shows up. In this episode, I share a personal story from my time as Associate Director of Wellness at Power California, an organization born out of a merger that felt like a blended family. Two leadership styles. Two cultures. Oneshared mission. And underneath it all, tension, unspoken dynamics, and the need for a shared language around conflict. That experience led me to develop what I now call Courageous Conversations. A framework I’ve used with organizations, leadership teams, and in high-stakes situations. But this episode is not about the framework. It is about the foundation. This episode invites you to bring compassion to the parts of you that learned to stay quiet to stay safe. Because you are not bad at conflict. You were never taught how to do it. And. You can learn a new way. You can build the capacity to stay present, to speak with clarity, and to move through hard conversations without losing yourself. If you want support working with your nervous system, check out the bonus regulation episodes available in both English and Spanish. These are short, practical tools you can come back to before, during, or after difficult conversations. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s been navigating hard conversations, or someone who avoids them altogether. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s coming next. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    25 min

  4. Apr 15

    021 - Telling the Truth Without Tearing It Down

    In leadership, one of the most difficult skills is the ability to hold complexity. To resist the pressure to simplify.To avoid rushing to defend or dismiss.To stay with what is uncomfortable. Lately, I have been sitting with a question: What does it mean to tell the truth about harm when it involves someone we were taught to revere? In many organizations, especially those rooted in social impact, we like to believe that our values protect us from harm. They do not. We carry the same systems we are working to dismantle. Which means accountability is not optional. It is essential. But accountability is often misunderstood. It is not just statements or symbolic gestures. It looks like: • Naming harm clearly• Creating conditions where people can speak safely• Protecting those who come forward• Examining how power operates in real time• Making changes that shift who holds influence and access It also requires us to ask harder questions: Would we hold someone accountable while they are still in power? Or only after it is safe to do so? In my work as a therapist and leadership coach, I have seen how unaddressed harm does not disappear. It shows up later. In relationships.In burnout.In anxiety.In disengagement. Leadership is not just about vision. It is about responsibility. This moment invites us to lead differently. To center people over legacy.To share power rather than concentrate it.To tell the truth, even when it is difficult. That is not tearing something down. That is building something more honest in its place. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    23 min

  5. Apr 1

    020 - Becoming The Love You Needed

    What happens when you realize you didn’t receive the love you needed growing up? Not consistently.Not in the ways that mattered.Not at the moments your nervous system needed safety, softness, and attunement. This episode is an invitation to sit with that truth… without shame, without blame, and without rushing to fix it. Because reparenting ourselves is not just a mindset shift.It is grief work.It is nervous system work.It is spiritual work. In this deeply personal episode, I share the story of traveling to Mexico with my mother to say goodbye to my 98-year-old abuelito. What I witnessed between them was tender, loving, and complete. And at the same time, it illuminated a wound I had carried for years. The ache of not receiving that same kind of love from my own father. You will hear me hold something many of us struggle with.How to have compassion for our parents’ limitations while still honoring the pain of what we did not receive. Because both are true. This episode explores: Why you are not responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for tending to yourselfThe grief of not receiving the love you needed, even when your parents did the best they couldHow childhood wounds show up in adulthood, in relationships, leadership, and self-talkWhat it actually looks like to reparent yourself in everyday momentsA guided somatic practice to connect with and support your younger selfThis is not about blaming your parents.This is about releasing yourself from waiting. And learning how to become a safe place… for yourself. Because sometimes healing does not begin when we are finally loved the way we needed. It begins when we realize we can become that love for ourselves. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    17 min

  6. Mar 18

    019 - Soft Parenting, Strong Leadership

    Recently, my son Santi said something that made my wife and I stop and look at each other in the car. “Thank you for soft parenting us.” I had heard the term gentle parenting. But soft parenting? That was new to me. So I asked him what he meant. What followed was one of the most honest conversations we have had about family, conflict, emotions, and what it means for children to feel safe with the people raising them. In this episode, you will hear Santi talk about: • How our family handles disagreements• What it means to “double down” during conflict• Why kids sometimes feel scared when adults lose patience• What soft parenting actually feels like from a child’s perspective• Why helping a child breathe when they feel anxious can change everything At one point, he said something that stopped me cold. “Sometimes I have anxiety, and when you and mom help me breathe, it makes me feel really happy.” As a therapist and leadership coach, that moment landed deeply. Because what children need when they feel overwhelmed is co-regulation. Someone whose nervous system is steady enough to help them return to themselves. And the truth is, the same is often true in leadership. People do not grow when they are scared. They grow when they feel safe enough to learn. This episode is tender, funny, and deeply human. It is a reminder that sometimes the clearest wisdom comes from the youngest voices in the room. Babygurl, this one might melt your heart. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    15 min

  7. Mar 4

    018 - Deeper Than Self-Care

    This International Women’s History Month, I’ve been sitting with a question that feels both personal and collective. How do we stay grounded in our light when the world feels heavy? Between the ongoing violence in Gaza, the unsettling reminders of how power protects itself in the Epstein files, and the growing threats of military escalation across the globe, many of us are carrying a quiet density in our bodies. You may feel it as tension.Fatigue.Grief.Irritability.Numbness. Self-care helps. But what is needed right now is deeper than self-care. In this episode, I share a powerful moment from my son’s pediatrician visit while completing the Pediatric ACEs and Related Life Events Screener (PEARLS). His score was zero. A number that represents generational healing, not perfection, but interruption. We explore: • The difference between self-care and healing• Why nervous systems inherit patterns relationally• How tending the soil is different from watering the plant• The role of subconscious rewiring through hypnobirthing and clinical hypnosis• Why leadership without healing becomes performance• And how we interrupt what we inherited I also share my own healing journey, including therapy, curanderismo, acupuncture, Spinal Network Care, and ongoing professional training in clinical hypnosis. This is not a call to abandon self-care. It is an invitation to go deeper. To tend the soil. To build resilience that can hold intensity. To stay grounded in your light not because the world is calm, but because you have done the work to root yourself. Reflection Questions: • Where are you practicing self-care, and where might deeper healing be calling you?• What patterns are you interrupting in your lineage?• Who are the women who watered you, and what are you choosing to pay forward? Babygurl, healing is personal. And it is historical. When you change the soil, you shift the lineage. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    30 min

  8. Feb 19

    017 - The Break Was the Medicine

    Welcome back, Babygurl. I took the winter off.I planned to return mid-January. Instead, I got sick.And what I thought was a delay became medicine. In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on my first real ebb in six years of self-employment. Income dipped. Contracts closed. The nonprofit sector tightened. I was okay, but I felt the constriction. Instead of panicking, I protected my internal knowing from outside noise. I grounded in the numbers. I trusted the cycle. Then my spirit guides stepped in: Stop being ametiche.Let the caldo cook.This season is not wasted.It is preparing you. As we move from the Year of the Snake into the Year of the Fire Horse, and enter a 1 Universal Year of bold new beginnings, I reflect on shedding, closing, and steppingforward rooted rather than rushed. If you are in an in-between, hear this: You are not behind.You might just be cooking. The Snake shed.The roots deepened. The break was the medicine. And the fire is coming. 🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this.

    36 min
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About

Dear Babygurl: Notes on Life, Leadership, & Liberation is what happens when your therapist tia, your coach bestie, and your higher self start a group chat. This is a love letter—for my niece, and for every mujer, daughter of immigrant, queer, BIPOC, first-gen soul learning to live and lead on their own terms. Hosted by Carmen Aceves Iñiguez—licensed therapist, leadership coach, queer Xicana. This bi-weekly podcast serves up stories, side-eyes, and soul work. If you're tired of the “shoulds,” burnt out by hustle culture, and ready to laugh-cry your way to liberation, you’re in the right place.

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