G.I.A. Guild of Inept Adventurers

G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
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A fan-made actual play TTRPG podcast from a chaotic group of friends who’ve been gaming together since 2021. We play Dungeons and Dragons, Middle Earth, Pirate Borg, One Ring, Deadlands, Delta Green, Call of Cthulhu, and more—badly. Rules come second, fun comes first. Expect dice rolls, dumb choices, and a lot of laughs. This is our escape, and hopefully yours too. We’re not affiliated with any RPG publishers, everything we do is rooted in love and respect for the brilliant creators who build these worlds. We’re just grateful tourists passing through.. Swearing, nonsense, and critical failures ahead. Welcome to the Guild of Inept Adventurers!

  1. 1d ago

    Delta Green: Ep15 “Floor Play”

    ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains strong language and dark themes, including references to violence involving children, graphic crime scenes, and ritualistic murder. Listener discretion is strongly advised. The shared nightmare leaves Lucy and Dr Winkle more than a little unsettled, so Marcus orders them to pack up everything they’ve found in Abigail Wright’s apartment. Essentially, Delta Green has turned them into a removal company. As Lucy begins questioning the neighbours, she meets a collection of eccentric artists and recluses, but nobody seems to know anything useful about Abigail. Meanwhile, Alan discovers something much more concerning: a hidden microphone above the apartment door. Following the wire leads directly into Thomas Manuel’s apartment, confirming that someone has been listening in. With some new surveillance equipment from Marcus, Alan tries his luck with the notoriously hostile Michelle Van Fitz. A little Southern charm and a bottle of wine finally get him through the door, but what he finds inside is impossible. Michelle’s tiny book-lined apartment suddenly expands into an enormous room filled with mahogany tables, candelabras and the remnants of some unseen gathering. Michelle herself disappears and reappears, seemingly without explanation, before telling them that Abigail is on the sixth floor. Then a little girl in white appears at the end of a mysterious corridor, singing softly. Alan takes Lucy by the hand and they follow her into the darkness. Welcome to the Night Floors.

    Delta Green: Ep15 “Floor Play”

  2. 4d ago

    Delta Green: Ep14 “Yellow There”

    ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains strong language and dark themes, including references to violence involving children, graphic crime scenes, and ritualistic murder. Listener discretion is strongly advised. The next Delta Green operation begins. Dr. Alan Winkle and Lucy Stein are sent to Manhattan to investigate the disappearance of Abigail Laura Wright, whose apartment has been left behind as an absolute mountain of bizarre objects, occult symbols and enough unexplained junk to make even Delta Green nervous. Their new handler, Marcus, gives them a simple job: catalogue everything, work out what happened to Abigail, and stop anything unnatural that might be involved. Simple. Obviously. Before they even reach the apartment, the pair spot a mysterious child in a clown costume playing with a paper dragon in Washington Square. Then, inside Abigail’s apartment, the clues begin piling up: plans for a strange mechanical device, a hotel that apparently doesn’t exist, a mysterious play, cryptic sheet music, a heavily annotated map and a photograph of Abigail’s parents with their eyes scratched out… and an adult arm in a clown costume. Alan, meanwhile, has brought his own mystery to the investigation: his cat. Because apparently what this mission really needed was Dr. Sally roaming freely around a potential paranormal crime scene. As the investigation continues, the team encounter a suspicious neighbour, an apparently legitimate detective, a mysterious radio broadcasting single, cryptic words and, finally, a symbol that changes everything. The Yellow Sign. That night, Alan and Lucy dream of the King in Yellow. And whatever they see in those dreams… isn’t good.

    Delta Green: Ep14 “Yellow There”

  3. Oct 28

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep32 “Dream Warriors”

    Still trapped within the strange dream of Haycombe, the party rush from the tavern to discover the town celebrating the return of its missing alderman. But the celebration quickly turns to horror when they realise something is horribly wrong. The alderman’s guards are shambling, lifeless things, and before long they turn on the crowd. The party fight their way through the chaos, but they’re hopelessly outnumbered. Eventually overwhelmed, they awaken as prisoners among hundreds of captives, surrounded by Easterling guards. Lady Irime appears to them in a vision, battling a shadowy entity of her own. “I’m struggling in my fight. Stay strong and keep fighting.” The captives are marched south, across the Old Ford and into the hands of the orcs, who drive them towards the looming tower of Dol Guldur. Deep beneath the fortress, the party are thrown into a dungeon alongside the innkeeper and minstrel from Haycombe. Arminas and Haldir finally convince The Lonely that they are trapped inside a dream. He decides to test their theory in the most The Lonely way possible. He tries to fly. It doesn’t work. When servants of the master offer the prisoners a chance to live by swearing allegiance, the party refuse. Haldir responds with spit. The Lonely responds with violence. But the master of Dol Guldur has other plans for their troublesome prisoner. The next day, The Lonely is dragged away with a sack over his head and thrown into an arena. An axe is placed at his feet. The portcullis rises. A hill troll charges towards him.

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep32 “Dream Warriors”

  4. Oct 25

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep31 “Lord of the Wings”

    With the party surrounded by orcs and Lady Irime’s fate hanging in the balance, salvation comes from above as the Eagles swoop in to rescue them. Though not without cost, as one of the Eagles takes an arrow to the leg while carrying The Lonely to safety. The party are flown to an inaccessible ledge high in the Misty Mountains, where they finally have a chance to rest. The following morning they meet the Lord of the Eagles, who gives them a warning to take back to Radagast: a mysterious fort is being constructed in the Gladden Fields, and whatever is happening there is clearly cause for concern. Carried across the lands, the party eventually arrive at Haycombe. That night, Lady Irime sings beneath the stars, and the entire party falls into a strange, shared dream. Haycombe is no longer the ruined settlement they know. It is a thriving city, full of people, activity and unfamiliar heraldry. But something is wrong. The party explore this strange version of Haycombe, eventually finding themselves at The Falling Goat, where they learn that the town’s alderman has disappeared after travelling to Dol Guldur. And then Arminas receives a vision from Lady Irime. Whatever they do here may somehow help her fight.

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep31 “Lord of the Wings”

  5. Oct 21

    Vaesen: “The Winner Takes It All” (ONE SHOT)

    Welcome to Vaesen, a brand-new game for the Guild of Inept Adventurers! Set in 19th-century Scandinavia, this Swedish folk horror adventure follows three strangers brought together by a shared dream, a mysterious gift known as the Second Sight, and what can only be described as some truly questionable accents. Meeting at an inn in Uppsala, Otto Nystrom, Torun Matses and Selma Nilsdotter are approached by Linnea Elfklint, whose fiancé was brutally murdered inside Castle Gyllencruetz. Several other investigators have since ventured inside, never to return. Naturally, our intrepid trio agree to investigate. Arriving at the castle, they discover strange green lights drifting through its corridors, mysterious voices, supernatural fog and a terrifying presence known as the Shining Fiend. But not everything is quite as it seems. There's a frightened child with a cudgel, a dead man clutching a key, a dozen spectral lights and an awful lot of holy water being thrown around. As the investigation unfolds, the party discover an occult temple hidden beneath the castle, where a peculiar little gentleman in a top hat is brewing something rather sinister. With the castle's deed stolen and the creature determined to stop them, the investigators must race to return it to its rightful owner before they're lured into a watery grave. Can they defeat the Shining Fiend, save the day and claim a castle of their own? And just who is the mysterious butler who turns up at the end? All this, plus dodgy Swedish accents and enough ABBA references to make you say Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

    Vaesen: “The Winner Takes It All” (ONE SHOT)

  6. Oct 18

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 3 (ONE SHOT)

    The Mortimer family’s secrets are finally beginning to unravel, and the trio find themselves increasingly convinced that something deeply sinister is happening at the vicarage. As dinner approaches, Nancy, Melissa and Blake search the house and discover disturbed linen, a hidden staircase and a chamber pot that raises rather more questions than it answers. Dinner proves even more suspicious. Blake attempts to avoid the meat by accidentally depositing the entire stew on the floor, only to discover a fingernail lurking amongst it. Then Eleanor attempts to drug Nancy’s wine. With the Squire unconscious and the evening taking a decidedly sinister turn, the trio are invited upstairs. Blake discreetly prepares for the worst by concealing a shotgun in his trousers, because apparently this is what passes for respectable Regency behaviour. Things quickly descend into chaos. Flintlock pistols are drawn, Beamish gets his throat cut, Blake is shot, Melissa is pistol-whipped and Nancy accidentally shoots her own maid. Then something monstrous emerges from the attic. Charlotte. Or what remains of her. The Reverend’s beloved late wife has returned as a terrifying ghoul, and she has a particular interest in who has been eating meat. As the trio desperately flee the burning vicarage, Charlotte tears Henry apart before turning her attention back towards them. They escape into the night, leaving the house ablaze behind them. But as the flames consume the attic, the creature screams a single word: Azathoth. And with that, the trio flee back towards London, hopefully with their lives, sanity and careers in society intact.

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 3 (ONE SHOT)

  7. Oct 16

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 2 (ONE SHOT)

    The trio have a plan. Nancy wants answers about the terrifying vision that changed her life, Melissa is determined to stand by her side, and Blake is increasingly concerned that his new residence may be less stately home and more murderous death trap. Then, during the night, Henry Mortimer wakes the household with screams, crying out to his dead wife Charlotte and demanding to know why she continues to haunt him. And Melissa sees something in the graveyard. A figure standing in the moonlight. Then it’s gone. As the day begins, the trio investigate the Mortimers’ home and discover some curious clues. A receipt for a coach journey to Portsmouth. Notes concerning herbology. And plans for a dinner that evening with Dr Beamish and Charlotte’s uncle, Squire Goodman. Naturally, Nancy needs a new gown. Because if you’re going to investigate a potentially supernatural conspiracy, you might as well look fabulous doing it. But their investigation soon takes a much darker turn. At the village church, something is horribly wrong. The hymns have been changed to songs celebrating Easter and resurrection, despite it being nowhere near Easter. And beneath the church, the trio discover something far worse. Bodies. Dismembered bodies. Outside Charlotte’s grave, they find another disturbing clue — cloven hoof prints in the earth. Whatever is happening around the Mortimers, it is becoming increasingly difficult to explain away. The Reverend has secrets. His dead wife may not be staying dead. And Nancy’s terrifying vision might be closer to reality than she ever imagined. The trio have finally uncovered the truth. Unfortunately, it’s really bloody weird.

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 2 (ONE SHOT)

  8. Oct 14

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 1 (ONE SHOT)

    It’s been a long time coming. Regency Cthulhu was one of the very first games we ever played together as a group, and it didn’t take long for us to fall completely in love with the wonderfully ridiculous combination of Regency manners, scandalous behaviour and cosmic horror. Years later, we’re finally returning to it. Nancy has spent the last few months confined to Bedlam following a terrifying encounter with something she still struggles to understand. But she has returned a changed woman. No longer content with her former life, Nancy is determined to become a respectable lady and find herself a wealthy and influential husband. Enter Reverend Henry Mortimer and his sister Eleanor. Their offer seems almost too good to refuse: Nancy can become the first student at Henry’s new finishing school, where they intend to transform her into a proper lady. But there’s a catch. A letter from the late Lord Farquhar reveals that Nancy has inherited a house at 50 Barclay Square. A generous gift, perhaps — if Blake Thompson hadn’t spent eight generations serving the Farquhar family only to discover that he’d been left absolutely bloody nothing. And the house itself has a reputation. As Nancy, Melissa and Blake settle into their new surroundings, strange details begin to emerge. Nancy secretly investigates the Mortimers. Blake overhears suspicious conversations. And whispers of natural philosophy, herbalism, secrets and mysterious deaths begin to make their presence felt. Then they travel to Hampshire to visit the Mortimers’ vicarage, where Nancy begins hearing voices again. Perhaps Bedlam didn’t cure her after all. As the trio start pulling at the threads surrounding the Mortimers, Nancy reveals the truth about the terrifying vision that changed her life — a vision of something monstrous that she has never been able to explain. And now she intends to find answers. If becoming a respectable lady means marrying her way into the circles of power and influence, then so be it. After all… What could possibly go wrong?

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 1 (ONE SHOT)
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About

A fan-made actual play TTRPG podcast from a chaotic group of friends who’ve been gaming together since 2021. We play Dungeons and Dragons, Middle Earth, Pirate Borg, One Ring, Deadlands, Delta Green, Call of Cthulhu, and more—badly. Rules come second, fun comes first. Expect dice rolls, dumb choices, and a lot of laughs. This is our escape, and hopefully yours too. We’re not affiliated with any RPG publishers, everything we do is rooted in love and respect for the brilliant creators who build these worlds. We’re just grateful tourists passing through.. Swearing, nonsense, and critical failures ahead. Welcome to the Guild of Inept Adventurers!

Information

  • Creator
    G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    119
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
  • Show Website
    G.I.A. Guild of Inept Adventurers