I Was An Internet Pioneer (and All I Got Was This Lousy Story)

JEN in the PM
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The completely true adventures of the early internet, as told by one of its more risqué stars. Starting in 1995, I became an unwitting internet pioneer. Many adventures followed. This is my story. jenpm.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 08/11/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 7

    Transcript: Hello and welcome to episode 7 of this podcast about my crazy life. While I’m not really bothering too much with content warnings with this podcast, I will say upfront that this particular episode does contain some possibly upsetting topics like child abuse, neglect, and loss. That said, I didn’t exactly plan this, but when it all came together, it suddenly occurred to me that I’m very much embodying my Mom’s vibe in the seventies, with the top, and even how I’m pinning my hair back because I’m growing out my bangs and they’re at a very awkward stage, right now, and I think my Mom was doing something similar at the time, but eventually she just went bangs for the rest of her life. I think right now I’m gonna go and try to give no bangs another try, but I haven’t made any final decisions… OK enough about my bangs. I’ve been warning for at least a couple of episodes that more serious topics were upcoming. I think I felt the need to issue those warnings because I chose to center this podcast around a particular time in my life: One where I lived this crazy, kind of fantasy life. And there’s no doubt that there were some really positive moments that I hold dear. I wouldn’t trade some of these experiences for the world. However, it was just one era in a much longer life, and even when these events were occurring, there was more going on than what we shared online at the time. I could just keep telling fun stories… and I will (because there are definitely more)... but, I think I’ve always intended to make this podcast a larger story about my life and what I’ve learned through my experiences. The “internet pioneer” part was just the most… unique, intriguing, salacious... and yeah, hence, maybe more marketable. So, it just felt like the best place to start, at least. I think with this episode, though, maybe I should just go back to the beginning. In fact maybe even a little further back than that. Because I think it might be important to know where I’m coming from… because to be perfectly honest, it is a little crazy, too. When I was born, a little over 50 years ago now, my Dad was 27 and my Mom was 19. They had gotten married in February of ‘74. They didn’t go on a honeymoon. They didn’t have the money for that, especially after paying for the wedding themselves. Both of my parent’s families have been poor for generations as far as I can tell. My ancestors started making their way over to the good ‘ol USA in the late 19th century, primarily from Germany, but also a few from England and Ireland. (Yeah, I’ve done a bit of ancestry research.) My parent’s families also already knew each other. I know how that sounds but I promise there is no incest in this story. My Dad’s older brother and my Mom’s older sister were already married. But, yeah, that’s how my father met my mother. Their families weren’t happy about them getting together at first, primarily because when they started “dating,” my Mom was only 15. I know, and I’m not trying to defend that action, but I do feel the need to now paint a more complete picture of my parents, starting with my Dad. My Dad was born in 1947, and I like to joke that, “oh, you just happened to be born the same year that the aliens landed.” They’ve never laughed at it. There was an even bigger age gap between my Dad’s parents. When they got married, my Grandmother was 16 and my Grandad was in his mid-40s. My grandfather, not great-great grandfather, just grandfather, was born in 1895. I’m not sure exactly where my grandparents met, but I did hear that my Grandmother was into the burlesque scene for a little bit. Possibly that’s where they met, but that is unconfirmed. Purely just a theory. He was always very healthy and he lived to his early 90s and the doctors said he had the heart of a 30-year old when he died. We’re still not sure where he got it. Ba-da-bum. However, he did develop emphysema from the cigars he smoked. He also liked to bet on the ponies and my Grandmother took over the finances early on, put him on an allowance, and along with making sure the kids had plenty of gifts for Christmas and nice clothes (most of which she made), she eventually managed to wrangle a good deal on a small house in the Green Haven neighborhood of Pasadena, Maryland. When they got old enough, she put all three of her “sons” in tap dancing lessons. (I’ll explain why I put sons in air-quotation-marks in a little bit.) My Dad took tap dancing lessons for about 20 years, and along with first their older brother and then with their younger brother, performed in “Ms. Wilson’s Show Troupe” for many years. As good as they were at tap dancing, during those years my Dad found their true love: Drumming. They were completely self-taught but soon started performing with a variety of different local bands. They did some jazz but rock n roll was always their favorite. They may have taken it further but there was a little thing called the Vietnam War going on at the time, which interrupted things. My Dad was drafted and narrowly avoided death on more than one occasion. They shared a lot of their war stories with me, possibly when I was a little too young, but my favorite of their war stories is the one where they were trapped at the bottom of this valley with a bunch of other troops and a helicopter was sent in to rescue them. There wasn’t enough room in the helicopter for everyone, so they were waiting for a second one that would be arriving at some point. The troops, I think they drew straws, and my Dad was going to be in the group to get on the first helicopter… or chopper or I don’t know, whatever they were called. However, at the last minute, a guy in the other group pleaded with my Dad to let him on instead. My Dad let them, because that’s just the kind of person they are. Shortly after liftoff, the helicopter was shot down, and everyone on board died. As sad as I am for those who lost their lives that day, selfishly, I’m so glad my Dad wasn’t on board like they were supposed to be… if just because; this was before my Dad had even met my Mom. After the war, my Dad came back and started working for the post office. They told me that, in the two weeks or so between coming back from the war and actually being sent home, they gave you two choices for how to spend your time: Play war games… and especially after just coming back from a real war, that did not appeal to my Dad. Or, train for the post office. Now, I do have a theory about the whole going postal thing in the 80s but that’s probably for a completely different kind of podcast. My Dad did not “go postal” and has even said that when it was just the work… which was very physical, because they were a mail handler… it wasn’t bad. It was just the people they never got along with. My Dad has earned every penny of the pension they are currently living on, though. They worked so hard when I was growing up. They barely slept. I’m not going to say that my Mom did nothing because that would be very far from the truth, but my Dad would go to work during the night, then come home, clean, run errands, including the grocery store, the laundromat…. and still had the time and energy to play with us kids and take us fun places. Occasionally, they would pass out to the point that it was very much like that one scene in Kentucky Fried Movie. I love my Dad. I may not be quite the “Daddy’s Little Girl” I was as a kid but, I still love my Dad so much. They set such a great example for me of love, generosity, creativity. They were also deeply troubled and could be… unpredictable. And my Mom… she had a different life experience. She was quite neglected as a child. The youngest of 4 girls, my maternal grandparents… I didn’t know them very well and the few memories I do have, have kind of a hazy feel to them, probably due to all the chain smoking. I mean, my parents didn’t drink, they didn’t smoke, they didn’t do any drugs… they were just completely… straight. And so, it was always kind of a shock going over to my grandparent’s house, because there were three of them in there chain-smoking. One of my aunts lived with them because she had been labeled “mentally retarded” but in retrospect, I actually think she may have been autistic. I’m not qualified to make a diagnosis like that, but there are certain stories and I’m like, no, I, I don’t think that… that sounds more autistic. And, I’ve come to realize, and nobody’s been really officially diagnosed, but I think there may be some autism that runs through my family tree. I could also never understand a word any of them were saying. It was literally like Charlie Brown. Wa-wa-wa. I mean, it didn’t sound exactly like that but I don’t know if it was a speech impediment but, I just couldn’t understand them. My parents seemed to be able to understand what they were saying… I just couldn’t. My Mom grew up having to go days without food until ultimately they brought home subs, and french fries, and soda (and beer) on payday… and then the cycle would repeat after the food ran out halfway through the week. My Mom had stories like her Dad coming home on Christmas Eve and knocking over the Christmas tree because they were so drunk. Not ideal, to put it lightly. One thing my maternal grandparents did do at one point because reportedly the city schools were not great, was put her in Catholic school. It only lasted about a year because my Mom hated it so much that she threw a fit until they took her out… which would have been so unlike her, but she had a lifetime hatred of nuns afterward. A rejection of religion is something that my parents shared. My Dad because the preacher ranted against rock n roll. My Mom because nuns. I was technically Christened as a baby, probably at the direction of my Grandmother, but I did not grow up going to church or an

    36 min
  2. I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 6

    07/20/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 6

    Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 6! The long-awaited episode 6. I took a couple weeks off… uh, just, life getting in the way… but, um… Oh and also I am a little more casual today. I just got back from the pool, took a shower, had a little bit to eat and, you know… I gotta get this done because I have let another week get by me and I… I know that I don’t need to keep to a schedule but I want to so… I am gonna hop right in here. So, let’s… let’s continue. This is going to be another one with some wild stories. Next episode, things may get a bit more serious, but I still don’t think I’ve adequately expressed how crazy things got at one time… and besides just being fun to talk about, I think it’s important because one thing you have to remember is that I was very young when all this began. I was just 20 years old when those first photos were posted so I have very much felt like the internet and I grew up together. I did have 20 years of life before it, but it was all in the process of coming together in those years, as well… and, I was still very much a blank slate in a lot of ways in those early days… just like the internet. So, the one thing that’s hard to describe to people that have had a different life experience… which is almost everybody… is how *normal* all this felt to me. Still feels to me. It’s actually surprising to me that I have made it to episode 6 without mentioning that my birthday is December 25th. I’ve always kind of liked having my birthday on Christmas. It made me feel special in a way, I guess. I know it doesn’t really, but, you know… When people ask me what it’s like to have your birthday on Christmas, I want to reply, “What’s it like not having your birthday on Christmas?” It’s just my reality. One of my favorite movie lines comes from, “The Truman Show.” It’s when Christof is asked why Truman never tried to break through the boundaries of his world before and Christof replied, “We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.” It’s kind of the whole point of this podcast; To show you my world. My reality. You may find it unbelievable that I did these things but I sort of find it unbelievable that you haven’t done things like this. That said, I do understand how out-there some of these things are… it’s why I think it’s a good story… but, I just want you to remember that you can get used to just about anything, if you do it enough. Anyway, some of the biggest parties we hosted were our anniversary parties. After returning from Atlanta, the next party we organized was one in celebration of our website’s 3rd anniversary. While we had been posting on the internet before then, we always celebrated October 1, 1995 as our official start date, since that was the date we debuted the actual website. October 1st was already a special date for us, anyway. On October 1, 1993, I made my first credit card purchase ever: A motel room where Dave and I had sex for the first time. Now it was 1998, and we actually knew a guy who ran a “cybercafe” in downtown Baltimore called, “The Strand” who offered us the run of the place for the party, no charge (they would make plenty at the bar). That first party seemed huge, even though it was dwarfed by future ones. There were about 20 guys there, along with me, Dave, and Simple. It also ended up being a surprise birthday party for me. Dave knew how my birthday always gets lost in the holidays so he contacted everybody we already knew and set it up. It was early October, so I was definitely surprised! If a little confused, at first… After opening gifts and having cake and all, Simple and I got topless and started posing with fans behind the bar for what we called “lucky guy” pics. One of the most common phrases Dave heard during that time was, “You’re a lucky guy!” So, this was a way of spreading that luck around, I guess. Everyone was always respectful. I might even get annoyed at times: I told you it’s OK to touch my boobs! Stop asking! Our next anniversary party took place in that same cyber-cafe. We were actually going to have it in our apartment complex’s community center but at the last minute, higher-ups in the community figured out what our website was about and refused us service. Luckily, “The Strand” stepped in and saved the day! They even put butcher paper up over all the windows this time so it would be a truly private party. So, we did everything we could to let people know where the party had moved to. I think we got at least almost everybody. I still feel bad if anyone missed out, though. Things had exploded to a point that we knew that this party was going to be big. So, to keep some kind of control, we actually mailed out physical invitations to people that they would have to show at the door to get in. I was so stressed out leading up to that party. I think I forgot to eat for a few days before it, and I was having some sort of episode when it all began. We bought these big subs from Subway that nobody ate but me, but at least once I ate, I was finally able to calm down. We had over a dozen webgirls join us for it. We had topless karaoke. Somebody drove their fancy red motorcycle into the bar for the girls to pose on. The group photos from that night are crazy. A fan also gave me my favorite toy ever that night: the “eroscillator.” It was endorsed by Dr. Ruth and I still have it. I first learned about it from a lady named Jane who ran a site called JanesGuide.com… and, we actually met up with her and her partner at the time in Vegas and she let me borrow her eroscillator… and, I was like, I need to have one of these. So, I think I posted about how much I loved it and, so a nice fan bought it for me and brought it to the party. I still use it. It’s my “old faithful.” I actually used to call my first vibrator my “old faithful” but I ultimately auctioned that off for a 9/11 benefit and the eroscillator is still going strong. It’s plug-in, no batteries needed… I just gotta put this one piece back in that’s always falling out, and it still works. So, I think it’s earned that title. Anyway, it was a great party. Then, the next year, I decided to try and keep things a bit more low-key. We had decided to get married on October 1, 2000, so the anniversary party would be a bit before that (I think it was held in August). We chose to have it in the bar/arcade area of our local bowling alley. We didn’t do invitations this time and didn’t even promote it that much. I just felt like we should do something for our 5th anniversary, but I was already losing my mind over planning the wedding. Well, as I often do, I underestimated things, again. We had even more webgirls, more fans, more everything… it was completely insane. Of course, I had to make sure we got some group photos. I asked everyone to join me over by the glass case where they would give out arcade prizes. I intended to just pose in front of it. I did not intend for people to start climbing on the cases, but I had completely lost control by then. I’m still surprised the establishment never charged us for the damage done. The case had cracks in it for months to come after that. I felt so bad about it. I guess they made good money when we hosted parties, though (especially this night), and decided to let it slide. It wasn’t even the last party we hosted there. The only thing they did do at one point is ask us to chill it with the nudity. They were OK when it was just quick flashing but people were starting to get a little too comfortable. I remember making an announcement for everyone to stop. getting. naked. PLEASE. Then about 5 minutes later, I see one of the girls just walking completely naked through the bar… and, I think that’s when I decided, maybe we need to wrap this up. So, we started going around and privately inviting people back to the after-party. We couldn’t just invite everyone this time. Our apartment was about 1100 sq. ft and there had been about 100 people at our 4-year party. We didn’t take an official count but this party seemed to be at least double the size of the last one. So we decided to keep it to people we already knew. That was still too much, but I was just hoping for the best at this point. I know one guy, who we had never met before (so, was not invited back) had brought a cake. He came up to me and said, “So this is it?” And sheepishly, I said, “Well, I guess…” So he said, OK, handed me the cake, and walked out. I felt so bad, but… When Dave and I returned home, I saw that the hallway of our building was absolutely jam-packed with people. To their credit, everyone was being completely silent. It was almost eerie. Still, we had to ask for people to clear a path since we were the ones with the keys to the front door. Then the party really started. There were people having sex all over the place. You could barely move. We had to have the most tolerant neighbors ever because we never got any complaints. And people were being none too quiet, especially that girl who had been walking around naked in the bar. She was very loudly having sex with a few people. The only reaction we did get from one of our neighbors was a guy from downstairs who knocked on my door a few days later and asked if he could please be invited to the next one. I even found out much later that at least one of our neighbors just wandered in that night, too. The lady who lived right next to us. She was kind of a 40-something barfly-type. Funny side story: One day after this party, I had been busy working on stuff in my office. I wasn’t in a great mood, to begin with for some reason, and when she knocked on my door, I became even more annoyed. I was not in the mood to deal with her so when I opened the door to see her standing there with some guy behind her, I barely even glanced at the guy. I can’t even remember what I sai

    21 min

  3. 06/29/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 5

    Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 5 of “I Was an Internet Pioneer and All I Got Was This Lousy Story.” I know, it’s kind of a long title. I have struggled with finding a name for my story, whether it be a book or podcast or whatever, for years… and when this one popped up in my head, it just felt right. I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, but now that I have, I’ve counted and the title has one more word than one of my favorite MST3K episodes: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. Oh well… what’s done is done. On with the story! At the Tampa party, we had been invited down to Atlanta by a couple of people there. One was the guy that I posed with for the “sex” picture. His wife, “Sapphire” was a friend of O’s and also had a website of her own. She had not been at the Tampa party… I think she was sick… so it would be cool to meet. In addition, we met another webgirl: Celeste Fox and her husband, who also lived in Atlanta. So, just a couple of months after returning home from Tampa, we hopped back in the car to drive south, again. We never thought about the weather during these trips or we might not have planned a trip to Georgia in July but we had other things on our mind. We planned a bar-meet, as well as meeting up with everyone individually. I can’t remember which we met first, but the meeting with Sapphire was fine if fairly uneventful. She did, however, make it clear almost immediately that she was not interested in anything “more” with us. Admittedly, we were both kind of taken aback at the time. It just seemed so out of the blue, especially since we didn’t consider ourselves “swingers.” We always rejected that term even when we did things that could be considered swinging, but we definitely weren’t then. We had not come there with any intentions of sex with anybody whatsoever. I get it, though. She just wanted to make sure things were clear. I respect that now. Meeting up with Celeste, however, was a different story. We actually first met up at Zoo Atlanta. There we took a few flashing pics, but things got really interesting when Celeste and her husband joined us at the hotel. We decided to check out the pool, and found it completely deserted... not even a lifeguard! Again, this was 1998. Things were just a little different back then. We had chosen a hotel that was more of a business hotel so it was busy during the week, but not so much on the weekends, which is when we were there. Still, how we got away with that, I’m not sure. We just got lucky, I guess. Because we took quite a few pictures there. We even had a couple of waterproof disposable cameras, so we took a bunch of pictures underwater. I loved taking those kinds of photos. Then it was time for the bar-meet, joining forces with Celeste and Sapphire. There wasn’t much of an after-party with that one. We did go back to the hotel but Celeste decided to get naked in the fountain in front of our hotel. That was a bit too much for us. I mean, the front desk was right there! Besides, we met a long-time fan on that trip and we wanted to spend some time with. We took a few more pics in that hotel pool (it really was always deserted) and in the fan’s red jeep. It was a great time and further cemented our plan to have parties, both at home and while traveling. We did meet up with both Celeste and Sapphire several times at various functions, but a couple of the best friends that we made during those days were “Lacy and Stuntman.” While Lacy had already picked her name, Stuntman and I came up with it while getting stoned at their house one night. He liked the idea of being a “stunt c**k.” He was chill about it, but he was just there if anybody happened to need one! They lived in Northern Virginia and contacted us about meeting up. After going back and forth a while, we finally planned a bar-meet/party at the Cancun Cantina in Hanover, Maryland. It wasn’t exactly halfway to their house, but it was south of Baltimore City, at least, and we had never been there before. We had just heard plenty of commercials for the place on the radio. Simple and her boyfriend were there, too. We hung out at the bar for a little bit and a good number of people showed up. Inside there was country line-dancing which was not really our thing, but outside there was sand and palm trees and volleyball. There was a guy grilling stuff, who would occasionally throw bits of food to the feral cats that lived on the property. I liked it a lot! After hanging at the bar for a bit, we decided to move the party back to our place. A whole bunch of people followed us around the beltway to get back to our apartment in Cockeysville. There, we just kind of hung out. Lacy, Simple, and I stripped down to nothing but our panties and posed for some photos on the couch. At one point we were trying to recreate the See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil monkeys but everyone had been drinking and we couldn’t seem to figure out the right order. In fact, we tried to do this every time we had three webgirls in the same room and I’m not sure we ever got it right. Afterward, Lacy and Stuntman quickly became a couple of our very best friends. We still consider them very good friends, even though we don’t see them hardly ever, anymore… but, for a few years there, though, we were constantly driving down to visit them. We’d stay over, drink, smoke some pot, and get naked. Over time things progressed and Lacy and I started fooling around on camera. Of course, one of the many confessions I have to make is that I am not actually sexually attracted to women. I know everybody is on a spectrum but I am pretty firmly in the heterosexual category. I used to call myself heteroflexible which is a good term for it because I was flexible. I mean, more than one woman has given me an orgasm by going down on me and I could not even begin to count how many women I have had some kind of sexual contact with. However, it only happened on camera. I was obviously open-minded, and in the end, when someone’s going down on you, does it really matter what gender they are? It was a bit different with women who had long nails, but other than that, I was still perfectly capable of cumming that way. And I very much would not fake orgasms. Even if it took a long time, I’m like dammit, I gonna have one! I do have to admit, though, that posing with the other webgirls kind of became expected. It very much did become a community. Most of the people that we hung with were heterosexual couples. Not that we would ever exclude anybody but it’s just the way that it turned out. And women just felt safer to everybody. Nobody’s male partners were going to get jealous, and it was a great way to promote each other’s websites. I know a lot of web girls/couples came to parties for just that reason. I understand now that, with the whole girl-girl thing, I was playing into the whole male fantasy of lesbian sex and I’m now a bit embarrassed by it. I now know that it can be offensive to actual lesbians and for that, I apologize. The nineties were a different time, but I get it. That said, we did also start swapping partners. Stuntman was the first guy I had sex with on camera (besides Dave, of course). They even sort of had their own “Simple” in the form of a webgirl who went by the name “Cherie.” They had been friends with Cherie for many years before this and Stuntman ran her site, as well. Cherie lived out on a farm with her husband and we visited there a couple of times to take photos and have fun. One time we were there, Celeste Fox and some other people had joined us there, as well. The main thing I remember from that time is that we all decided to order Subway and Celeste ordered a sub with no bread. It was the first time I was introduced to the concept that bread could be bad for you. (I may still be in a bit of denial about that.) One great memory from that time of visiting Lacy and Stuntman was New Year’s Eve of 1998. It was me and Dave, Lacy and Stuntman, Cherie and her husband. The next morning, we started the year 1999 with everyone trying to figure out where their clothes had ended up. Now that’s a party. Although, it was nothing compared to New Year’s Eve 1999. I indeed partied like it was 1999. So, what were you doing on December 31, 1999 (assuming you existed then)? I was 26 years old and in Virginia at O and Lance’s house. We thought it was so cool when they moved so relatively close to us. Not taking complete credit for it, but I do remember talking with them about moving this way after our 4th-anniversary party a couple of months prior. We had been visiting Washington D.C. with them and another web-couple; Flashing in front of all the monuments and stuff. Specifically, I remember trying to convince warm-weather-loving Lance that our winters had been pretty mild lately. This was true. The fact that in the winter of 2000, we got hit with snow and ice like seldom seen here, is certainly not my fault. Anyway, they were hosting a big party that night. Their parties never disappointed, and this was no exception. We actually attended several parties during the short time they lived there, but at this one in particular, I remember wandering around the house, completely naked but for an army helmet on my head and mardi gras beads around my neck, while drinking straight out of a bottle of champagne. I thought to myself, “I am doing this night so right.” Lots of photos, lots of crazy fun… less hardcore sex, more naked shenanigans. Prince’s song embodied a lot of my attitude around that time. We had no idea what the future would bring, so f**k it, let’s party while we still can. Just before midnight, Dave asked Lance where the fuse box was. He snuck down into the basement and as the clock struck 12, he shut down the power to the house. Now, if you were around in 1999, you might remember what it

    15 min

  4. 06/22/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 4

    Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 4! As you might be able to tell if you’re watching the video version of this, I’m going a bit more casual today. I’ll be honest, it’s been a bit tough keeping up with this weekly schedule. It’s good for me, but I am pushing myself. And today, I just didn’t feel like getting all gussied up for this. If you’ve made it this far, I figure you can handle seeing a 50-year old woman without make-up. And not like how some women try to claim it’s a “no make-up” selfie… oh, except for some foundation, and a bit of eyeliner, and of course some lip gloss… no, no make-up means NO MAKEUP. Sorry, it’s a pet peeve of mine. I am also dressed to go to the pool. Summer has finally arrived in full force and it’s just the best way for me to exercise which I do need more of so it’s important I fit it into my schedule along with doing this. Also, I can’t seem to do a thing with my hair, so whatever. At the risk of going off on too much of a tangent, it also reminds me of my Grandmother. Admittedly, as much as I loved her, I hate to think that I’m the same age as she was when she would go swimming with us kids in the 80s, but that’s neither here nor there. She always insisted that we get her a guest pass for any apartment community that we lived in… and we lived in a lot… when we weren’t living with her. I’ll probably go back and talk about my childhood more in the future but for now, let’s continue the story where I left off last episode. After the great time we had in Tampa, we were anxious to start doing our own parties. To start things off, we decided to go back to where it had all begun. As I mentioned before, there was a bar right next to where we lived in that first apartment above the State Farm office, and we chose to announce that as our first official “party” location. It was just me, Dave, and a brand new webgirl who we had sort of recruited and went by the stage name Simple (her choice, I promise). We actually helped a few girls start websites (including my sister for a short time), but she was our first and most enduring “project.” Simple had worked at Pizza Hut with Dave and, after a while, they became good enough friends that they started talking about the website, and how we could help her start her own. Simple always maintained that she was “softcore” only. She became comfortable with taking off her clothes in all sorts of different situations, but nothing sexually explicit. Just fun nudity! Only three guests showed up that time, but it was fun! One of them was “Just Johnny.” He only posed for a couple of tame pictures with me back at our apartment that day, but that was only the beginning with him. (More about him later.) I had never heard the terms “bar-meet” or “after-party” at the time, but after a while, that’s what everybody started calling them. We kind of solidified the format with that first party which carried on for all of our future get-togethers: Meet up in a public place, usually a bar, and then invite anyone who seemed cool back to our place to hang out more. The after-party was always my favorite. There I could relax, take my clothes off, etc. Plus, I love to decorate so if it was a holiday or something, I could have fun dressing our apartment up… even if I was the only one to notice or care. I was always sure to preface any party announcement with the message: Do not come to this expecting to have sex with me or anybody else. As time went on, the parties did have a tendency to get wilder, but that message never changed. If we became good enough friends with you and one thing led to another, that’s one thing, but if you came with any expectations whatsoever, I could spot you from a mile away and you had immediately disqualified yourself. The one thing we always wanted to be clear and unequivocal about was, you must show the utmost respect to everyone, especially the women. You don’t touch, you don’t do anything, unless they let you know it’s OK. Period. I never knew how many people actually read the things I wrote, but with perhaps just a couple of exceptions (which were dealt with quickly) over all those parties, everybody was always so cool. We always seemed to attract the best people, and they all “got it.” That feeling of being with like-minded people was so special. I still miss it. Sometimes, I have no idea what I was thinking at a particular time; I still find it kind of strange that we didn’t even think to take photos on those first couple of trips we made, when the site first started making money. The first trip we took where we took photos was an impromptu trip to Atlantic City for a couple of days. Even then, I only posed inside our hotel room. At home, we were always trying to think of new ideas for photos. One day, we found out that we could climb out of one of our windows onto the roof of the building below us. The first time we did it, it was summer, and we got tar all over our hands and feet. Later, when it was also cooler outside, we found ways of avoiding the tar, like putting old sheets down first. It was so fun to get naked up there! I could hear the traffic going by on York Road, but the signage of the building hid us very effectively. It felt so naughty! The only time I had ever felt anything similar was with my first boyfriend. It was before I had even lost my virginity to him. His parents were out and we were in his room. I don’t remember if he undressed me or if I did it myself, but I know he left the room at one point and I was just standing there naked. It was a bit awkward. I kept trying to figure out how I should stand, where I should put my hands… do I cover anything or not? But I stayed where I was. It was late afternoon and the sun was slanting through the windows. I could see the little specks of dust illuminated in the air. It was quiet and warm in his house. He came back after a few minutes, but I found that time alone to be so empowering in some way. I felt so sexy and beautiful… and not dirty in the slightest. I felt powerful. I was only 16 at the time, and it was my first time doing anything like that and I have never been ashamed of the fact that I liked it. It was the same when we started venturing outside. At first, we just went around the building (on a Sunday when it would be the least busy)... I flashed here and there in this little peach vest and skirt combo that I think I bought while I was working as a fitting room attendant at Marshall’s when I was 18. I love my memories from our time in that first apartment but before long, we decided to move. We headed north, into the county and chose a community in Cockeysville, Maryland where we still live today. In fact, for a few years, I worked in the leasing office of this place. We had only been looking for another one-bedroom but were somehow talked into renting a two-bedroom with a den. I did not voice this to Dave at the time, but I’ll admit that thoughts of a future nursery danced through my mind, and the den would be perfect for me to have an office. The place wasn’t anything fancy, but it was a nice-sized space, with central air and an in-unit washer and dryer. No more hanging sheets or taking buses to the laundromat! We moved in on November 10, 1996. Things continued as usual for a while. We were settling into our new place. We got a dog: the aforementioned Spot. In addition to the parties and traveling, I posed naked all over the place. I will probably have to do a whole episode on all the places I’ve flashed. The fact that we never got into any kind of trouble for what we did is a testament to how careful we were, but we were definitely becoming more and more daring. At the same time, we were exploring the exciting world of video production. Especially once I picked up my very first vibrator at a store called, “The Love Ones” in Towson. Again, digital cameras were still in their infancy so most recordings were on good old VHS, but we actually sold a CD-ROM before we sold tapes. They would contain our entire archive of photos up until its creation, as well as numerous video clips. Many of the longer scenes had to be cut down into smaller clips because the files were so huge and computers were so ill-equipped to handle them. And don’t even think of downloading through the internet. It was simply an exercise in frustration to try and do anything with video via the early internet. After a while, I decided it would be better all around to just make VHS tapes. Editing and duplication were achieved via two connected VCRs. Years ago, while doing a big spring cleaning, I found no less than 9 VCRs, and even some old, blank VHS tapes, still in the package. I used to buy the latter in bulk wherever I could find them. Fun side fact: I was (am) a huge fan of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” but I had no tapes to trade in the beginning. I did, however, have another type of tape I could trade. Yes, I traded my porn tapes for episodes of MST3K. Everything was done by us… and frankly, by that time, mostly me. Dave was still the photographer and was certainly there to help if I had any computer issues I couldn’t deal with, but I was now running the show. Most people didn’t believe I was running the site, even though Dave was quick to back me up on the fact. When other webmasters would come up to him to talk shop, he would direct them over to me. They would pause and then say something like, “No really, what do you use for blah, blah, blah…” One thing Dave did do was broker a deal with a local porn shop. We allowed them to duplicate our tapes and sell them, with the promise of a cut of the sales. It was completely on the honor system which was probably pretty stupid, but we did make sure that our URL was listed on every tape, at the very least. At this time, website memberships made up most of our income, anyway, and we did develop a larger fan base due to th

    14 min

  5. 06/15/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 3

    Transcript Hello and welcome to episode 3! While my first two-episodes were sort of world-building, this episode is going to be about one very specific event: The trip that Dave I took to Tampa, Florida in May of 1998. I will also be including photos. They’ll be censored but, keep that in mind if you’re consuming this episode in a way other than simply listening to it. Around the same time I took over the reins of the website, Dave started exchanging messages with another early amateur webgirl who I’ll simply call O. If you know who I’m referring to, please don’t reveal her full name, real or stage, in a comment or anything like that. I am very much an outlier, not just in how early I got started in all this but also being in a position to still feel comfortable talking about it publicly. Others, though, moved on and would rather not have a spotlight on that time in their lives. So, her name for the purposes of this is O. That’s all you need to know anyway. Also like most, the website only had her stage name attached to it, even though she had a partner. Again, we were an anomaly, using both our real names and including Dave in the title. O and her partner “Lance” (also not his real name) were living in Tampa, Florida at the time. O and Lance are no longer together but they were for many years. They were also *much* wilder than we were. They would host these parties where anyone and everyone could come and meet up with O and any other webgirls they could get together. At first, we thought that was nuts! How does she know some axe murderer isn’t going to show up? Quite a few years later, I had a very similar reaction to the concept of Uber. She eventually convinced us to come down for a party weekend, though. She had done many of these without anything terrible happening, so we decided to give it a whirl. We did have one thing we had to do first, though: We had already bought tickets to one of those big seminars with a lot of different motivational speakers at the Baltimore Civic Center (or Royal Farms Arena or whatever they’re calling it now.) Dave had been given Brian Tracy tapes by his Mother in the past and he was suitably impressed enough to insist we check it out. We’re not quite as enamored with self-help gurus these days… it was kind of a phase… but we did take some valuable lessons from that time. The seminar took place just a few days before we left for Tampa, and we listened to the cassette tapes we bought there from Brian Tracy all the way down and back. Between speakers, Dave would go outside to smoke a cigarette. He has since quit but he smoked for a long time so there are a lot of stories that involve smoke breaks. I have never smoked… well, cigarettes… but I would often stand out there with him. During this one, we were chatting about the speakers we had seen: Brian Tracy (of course), Zig Ziglar, Faith Popcorn… even Colin Powell! It was certainly interesting. It was then that Dave finally shared with me the extent of the negative messages he had received in the beginning, and how that had shaped his views about running the website. I then said to him, “What would we do if we won the lottery and never had to worry about money again?” Almost in unison, we both replied, “Make the site free again.” It finally clicked in both of us, but especially Dave who had been so tormented, that yes, we were doing what we had to do to pay the bills, but that didn’t mean we didn’t love what we did and couldn’t be ethical about how we made money. I still value the message that I took from the Brian Tracy tapes of how caring about other people isn't just “the right thing to do,” but can actually be the key to your own success. We still weren’t entirely sure about O and her parties, but we packed up the Saturn, dropped our dog Spot off at the vet for boarding, and hit the road! Spot was his real name, by the way. He was a border collie mix that was 5 months old when he entered the shelter but we didn’t get to him until he was 8 months old. The shelter named him Spot and he seemed to be attached to the name, so it stuck. Anyway, for some reason, I chose a hotel that was approximately 45 minutes away from her house. I can’t remember why; I think it had to do with price, but I don't know why I was being so cheap; We were doing pretty good with money again. However, like every misstep, it just gave us more stories! One of the first things we did after getting settled into the hotel, was to go to the mall. It was right across the street (I think that might have been part of why I picked it) and I wanted to see if I could find anything new to wear to the party. Showing off my new dress, in typical "Jen n Dave" fashion. One of the places I wanted to visit was Victoria’s Secret. We went in, and I found what I was looking for: this sheer white bra with matching panties. Here’s those same bra and panties taken off of me by O during an iFriends show. We’ll talk about iFriends more later. I was all ready to head to the register when a very friendly but aggressive salesgirl pounced on me. She insisted I go into the fitting room to try on the bra. Dave then asked if he could go back with me and she said, “Sure!” Six-foot Dave with a mullet halfway down his back and a big Nikon SLR camera hanging around his neck followed me into the fitting room with the staff’s blessing. Florida, man. Despite the camera, there ended up being no photos of this encounter because Dave was simply too dumbstruck. As I finished putting the bra on, the sales girl came to the door and asked if she could come in. I was surprised but said, “Sure?” She begins explaining how the underwire is specially designed for... blah, blah, blah, something. I can't remember exactly what she said, because as she’s doing this, she is very lightly touching my breasts through the bra. After she left the dressing room, I put my clothes back on, and we left the store (after I bought the bra and panties, of course). As we’re heading back to the hotel, I remember asking Dave, “Why didn’t you take any pictures??” He could only respond, “I froze!” After we had dinner that night, I went down to the hotel pool. It stayed open late and I love swimming at night. I love it any time of day, but it is somehow different at night. I remember floating there and feeling like I was exactly where I should be at this moment in time. When I went back up to the room, I found Dave poring over a bunch of the little brochures I had grabbed in the hotel lobby, when we first arrived. He had been trying to find something we could do during the day to pass the time until the party the next night. He suggested we go canoeing. I said, “Have you ever been canoeing?” He said, “Not really.” Neither had I but as I often do, I said, "Sure, why not?" Looking back, that was perhaps the craziest thing we did that whole trip. We went to the place on the brochure, paid our money, and the “guide” drove us out into the wilderness. He gave us a quick tutorial on what to do… he tells us not to worry about the gators; it’s not mating season yet… and Dave and I were pushed out into the river! It was truly one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I’m sure it has something to do with adrenaline, but I have never felt more alive than when I was scared I might die. At one point, the thought occurred to us, “What if we accidentally bothered the gators?” We could see their little eyes poking up in the water and, while they seemed to be staying far enough away, I couldn't stop imagining one of them swimming under or too near the boat and one of us accidentally hitting them with an oar. How do you say, “Whoopsiedoodle” to an alligator? Actual photo of a gator we passed. Everything was gorgeous, though, so as much as we tried to remain focused on rowing appropriately, we kept getting distracted by the scenery. Not long into it, I just went ahead and took my top off while we rowed because who was going to see? We were deep in the wilds of Florida and there were no sign of humans anywhere. Taking a break from rowing to pose for photos. Because of course... At one point, we saw what we thought was a giant crane or some other large white bird, just down the river from us. We were in awe. The only thing that tore my attention away, was when I suddenly realized we were heading for an embankment with a big black snake on it, raised up and clearly saying, “I know you’re not coming over here.” Paddle, paddle, paddle. Despite the snake incident, though, a little further down, we spot the perfect place where I could get out and pose for a few pictures. I take off the rest of my clothes and get out of the canoe. We got a couple good snaps in. Immediately after taking that last photo, though, I look over and notice that there’s another couple in a canoe coming up behind us on the river. They were still pretty far off but obviously, photoshoot over! I hop back in the canoe, put my clothes back on, and we paddle, paddle, paddle our asses out of there. We made it back safely to our guide who was waiting on the other side, to take us back to our car. We drove back to the hotel, got freshened up, and then headed out for the party! Oh, to have the energy I had at 23. There would be no way now. "Sorry we missed your party, we just survived doing the dumbest thing we’ve ever done and we are beat." There were already several people there, although not nearly the crowd that would soon make its way there. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. I got all these compliments on these snow pics I had done a few months before. Everybody already knew who we were. More and more people showed up. There was even a band in the dining room. It was a true house party. Early on, there was a group photo taken of all the webgirls there: one “nice” and one flashing. Later, one girl was smoking in the garage, talking about how her

    16 min
  6. I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 2

    06/09/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 2

    Transcript Hello and welcome back! This is episode two of my new series so, if you haven’t seen/heard/read the first one, make sure you do that since that first episode was pretty much all set-up, but important set-up. Now, though, it’s time to really get into it. Starting with that very first photo set that Dave posted to the Usenet newsgroups, he chose to use the name “JEN n DAVE,” putting my name first because as he’s said many times before, he knew that people were coming to see me, even if he was the wizard behind the curtain. (That last part is my words… he would just say that he knew they weren’t coming to see him.) The next few months, we were still going to work, but spending all of our free time shooting photos and trying to keep up with the ever-growing onslaught of messages and emails. Before long, we became overwhelmed with requests to repost this picture or that in the “JNSHRP” series. Dave started adding a note to our weekly postings that said something to the effect of, “Please don’t ask us to repost photos. We don’t have time.” Finally, we received a message from someone suggesting that we start a webpage where we could archive all the photos and let people download them that way. That seemed like a fantastic solution to the problem, so Dave quickly figured out how to make a simple website and on October 1, 1995, Fantasy by Mariah Carey was the #1 song on the charts, and “JEN n DAVE’s Homepage!” was officially born. Between then and February of ’96, it was an almost constant dance of moving servers, setting up “mirror” pages, and more, to try and keep it up and running. Every server we got on was overloaded almost immediately. One of the most reliable was a company called Concentric. They were offering free UNLIMITED webspace with a dial-up account. Perfect, right? Then the emails from them started. We learned the term “bandwidth” and how they were not happy about how much we were using. We went back and forth with them, arguing, “Well, you said it was unlimited!” They’d reply, yeah, but you’re having 20,000 unique visitors a day, and using whatever amount of bandwidth we were using then, and that was not what they had intended with this offer. We’d ask, well, what did you intend? Unlimited but to a limit? In the end, they shut us down and stopped offering “unlimited” free web space. Frankly, the latter action is a source of pride for me. A whole-ass company changed how they did things because of how much people wanted to see my boobies. Dave then found a guy who went by the name “Izzy” who lived in Philadelphia and had a small web-hosting company. We signed up with him and, since we were now paying for webspace, we decided to take the suggestion we had received from several fans, and opened up a P.O. Box to accept donations. When we first started posting, I was working as a receptionist for a small law office down in the city, but by then I was working as a receptionist for a pension plan administrator in Towson. On my lunch break, I would walk over to the post office, check the box, grab whatever was inside, and then walk down to the Subway on the corner of York and Chesapeake to get something to eat. Sometimes I’d just stay there, but most of the time I would walk back up to spend the remainder of my lunch break on one of the benches in the gardens outside the old Towson Courthouse. There I would eat and check out what people had sent us. Most sent cash. Some even sent money from other countries that we didn’t know what to do with (but was cool all the same). It wasn’t much but it did help pay our server bills. Then something happened that changed our lives and the internet itself forever… even though the law itself was pretty quickly struck down. On February 8, 1996, President Bill Clinton signed the Communications Decency Act. It was the first attempt by the U.S. government to “crackdown” on internet pornography. Everybody posting adult content back then, and more importantly Izzy, told us we would have to do something to keep minors from accessing our photos. Dave found a service called “First Virtual” that was perhaps the first e-commerce facilitator available to the general public. It worked a lot like PayPal, where you would put money into your First Virtual account, and then you could use those funds to pay for things online. At that time, minors generally did not have credit cards. Yes, they could steal their parent’s cards but that wouldn’t be our fault. Requiring a credit card showed that we were trying to do something to keep kids out. We still had no intentions of turning this into an actual business. We were simply trying to limit access and possibly help cover the bills for this little hobby of ours. I knew that people liked looking at my photos but I didn’t think anybody would actually PAY to see them. Maybe a couple of people… We started charging $5 for 6 months of access to our weekly updates and $10 for 3 months of access to the entire archive. We were also trying to limit bandwidth. Bandwidth was a big issue back in the day. When we made $20,000 in the first 3 weeks alone, I had to admit that perhaps I had underestimated myself, as well as this whole internet thing. Now, we did not get that money right away. I was ready to go in and quit my job immediately when those first numbers started coming in… but, then we found out that First Virtual would hold the funds for 90 days. Dave insisted that we could not be irresponsible and just quit our jobs until this money started actually showing up in our bank account. We weren’t even entirely sure this wasn’t just a big scam or something. We didn’t know anybody who had ever bought or sold things online at the time. Again, it just wasn’t a thing yet. So, I understood his point; I just wasn’t happy about it. Up until then, I had done my best at my job, like I always did. Even if I hated my job (I always hated my jobs), I would take pride in my own work while I was there. I have to admit that I started slacking off a bit, though, when I knew it was just a matter of time before I would be getting more money than I had ever seen in my life. I still don’t think I was bad enough to get fired but around mid-June, they said they were letting me go. They sent me off with a very nice severance package, making it clear that everybody still liked me personally, but my performance had dropped below “acceptable levels.” Nevertheless, I was burning with shame on the bus ride home. I was soon comforted, though, because less than a week later, that first deposit came through. I would have been quitting anyway, so really it worked out for the best. “Thanks for the bonus I wouldn’t have received if you had waited even a week longer to get rid of me!” It was so unbelievable. There may still be a video somewhere, probably in a cardboard box on a VHS, of me counting out a whole ton of cash like I was in a rap video. I just couldn’t help myself. Before long, we had enough money for Dave to quit his job, too. What I didn’t know at the time was how conflicted he felt. This may be difficult for some to understand but he had started doing this as a way of participating in a community of body-positive and sex-positive people, even if those terms hadn’t been invented yet. As for me, I was just kind of along for the ride. I admired Dave’s moral compass, which he says only developed after we started doing porn. When we started charging, though, he received some messages from people calling us “sell-outs” and accusing us of planning this all along. As I’ve since learned over many years, hell hath no fury like someone getting charged for something they had been getting for free. He kept all this from me for some time and it sounds ridiculous now, but Dave took it to heart a bit too much. He did everything he could to keep our site as “pure” as possible. Age-verification sites started popping up, and we signed up for them, too, figuring that we would give people as many options as possible. All we wanted to do was post our pics and not get in trouble for it. The money was just a nice bonus. At least that’s the way Dave thought. I wasn’t quite as opposed to making money but again, I was pretty much on board with whatever he thought was right. While a bit naive and idealistic, I still think the general attitude we had about this back then was admirable. We very famously did not have recur billing on our site for many years. We had heard too many stories of people not being able to cancel and we had even experienced it ourselves with Hustler in their very early days, so we didn’t even offer recur-billing for the longest time. We didn’t want people sending us money unless they were making the conscious choice to do so – not because they had trouble canceling or just forgot. I never wanted to be responsible for someone getting an overdraft fee or anything like that. We probably did lose money but it was something we felt very strongly about at the time. We continued our weekly postings but rejected all forms of advertising. We had a very coveted list of links, but it was only people we actually liked or thought had a legitimately good website. If people linked back to us, great, but it wasn’t required. One of the first things we did when the money started coming in was to buy a car: A green ‘96 Saturn SL2. (Green has always been my favorite color.) We could have paid cash for it had we taken just a tiny bit of time to save up, but being the impulsive young people that we were, we decided to finance it so we could get it right away. Of course, trying to prove our income to the finance company was a challenge. They did not understand what we meant by, “we make money on the internet.” We managed to get through it, though, and just like in the commercials of the day, the whole staff at the Saturn dealership came out to clap and

    20 min

  7. 06/01/2025

    I Was An Internet Pioneer (And All I Got Was This Lousy Story) - Episode 1

    Transcript Hello and welcome to 1995! What a time to be alive! I’m just 20 years old with my whole life ahead of me. I mean sure, this year has had its downsides… this building in Oklahoma City was bombed… OJ is on trial for killing his wife and another guy… BUT, there are so many good things happening right now, too. Cal Ripken, Jr. just broke Lou Gherig’s consecutive games played streak. Go O’s! There’s a new game console coming out called “The Playstation” and there’s this new movie called “Toy Story” that was animated entirely on computers… just really high tech stuff going on right now. All I’m saying is, when the Matrix movie comes out in four years, I will be in complete agreement with Agent Smith: This is the peak of our civilization. Ok, fine, it’s not the nineties anymore. It’s 2025 and in this year I’m a 50 year old mother and grandmother. Back then I was much younger, thinner… but also much more CLUELESS than I am now.Anyway, hi, my name is Jen and I have a story. Everybody who lives long enough does, of course, but this is mine and I think it’s a fairly unique one. While I wouldn’t have been able to put it into words back then, when I graduated high school in 1992, I was feeling pretty lost and was willing to let the currents of life take me where they may. In other words, I was extremely dangerous… especially to myself. I would never have guessed it when I was growing up but I became an unwitting internet pioneer. It feels a little boastful to say, but I also think it’s an accurate label: One that others have used to describe me, as well. Small slivers of my story have been told in various publications over the years, but I’ve always wanted to tell mine: The full story, in my own words. I can’t promise that you’ll like me after hearing this. I have plenty of regrets. The only thing I can promise is that I’m going to be as truthful as possible. I have a pretty good memory, but I’m not infallible. Plus, I will try to temper my very natural human desire to make myself look good and have people like me and just tell the story as it actually happened but, I am human… so, if anybody feels the need to make a correction, just consider me Seth Meyers. Before I really get to it, though, I do feel like I have to preface this by saying I’m not against trigger warnings but, I’m also not going to bother with them because frankly, there would just be too many to keep up with. If there’s a topic that would upset you in a way that would be harmful to your mental health, by all means, skip this whole thing. This is not nearly important enough to take that kind of risk and I never want to hurt anyone. I’ve done so, of course. You don’t live as long as I have without hurting people, even if you live a quiet, average life… which I have decidedly not. I will be opening up about a lot of things that have happened: some funny… some sad… some scandalous… and some that are just freaking crazy. That’s the best warning I can give. Finally… and, I promise, I’m getting to the actual story, but just one last thing… I’m planning to release this story as a video series, a podcast series, and a written series. I totally get the desire to consume media in different ways for all kinds of completely valid reasons. I love videos and podcasts but sometimes I find myself saying, “Can I just read an article please?” So, feel free to pick the one that works best for you. I’m just thankful you’re willing to give me some of your time and attention. And yes, I am trying to get attention. Duh. I’m on the internet. However, I do feel like, despite the self-deprecating title, it’s a story that could resonate with and maybe even help people, if even just to say you’re not alone, you have worth… OK, OK, sorry. Let’s get to it! I’ve always felt like this story began on April 1, 1995. Yeah, April Fool’s Day. What can I say? When looking back at my life, I see so much poetry. Early spring in Baltimore can be iffy weather-wise, but on this day it was clear, with light winds, and highs in the mid-50s (which I totally just remember and didn’t look up in a weather archive). A nice day to move into my first real apartment. Well, mine and Dave’s. Dave and I had been dating for about a year and a half by then. We had even lived together during the summer of ‘94 in this nightmarishly bad studio apartment in the Mt. Vernon neighborhood of Baltimore. We don’t exactly count that as our first apartment, because it was a short stay and I ended up moving back in with my family for a while. Eventually, though, we decided to give it another shot, and this time it stuck. When we made the decision to move in together again, I found an ad in the classifieds section of the newspaper, for what sounded like a decent place, at a decent price (I think the rent was like $500/month, all utilities except gas and electric included), in the neighborhood of Govans which is in the north-central portion of Baltimore City. In fact, it was less than a mile from the county line and just a couple of blocks south of the historic Senator Theater on York Road. Bruce Willis filmed the theater scene of 12 Monkeys there during that time. I never saw him but I did see a picture of him in the paper passing by very close to our apartment, which was exciting. The place itself was a little one-bedroom that sort of looked like it had been slapped on top of a building as an afterthought. Below us was a State Farm office and the agent was our landlord. It was a bit on the old side and had this weird design where you had to step down into the kitchen and the bedroom… in fact, you had to step down two steps and then up one to get into the bedroom. (It was only a matter of time before I sprained my ankle while hurriedly getting ready for work one morning.) It only had one room air-conditioner in the living room and during the summer, we’d hang sheets to cover the doorways to the kitchen and the hall, so that we could have one room that would be bearable during the hot, sticky, stifling Baltimore summers. But it was clean and had some interesting features like a built-in bookcase in the bedroom and an alcove with a big bay window in the living room… which overlooked a parking lot next to a local bar… which I later found out only had one toilet for women… which might explain why we had so many college girls pissing under our windows in that parking lot, thinking nobody was around at that time of night. Anyway, I have a very clear memory of looking out that window that day, as Dave and my Dad and brothers left to return the moving truck. I was alone and started thinking about everything that had brought me here. Our relationship had been a bit on the tumultuous side leading up to this, but I vowed at that time to commit to Dave and building a life together. A fresh start for both of us. A couple of weeks after moving in, I received a Sears credit card in the mail. I can’t even remember how I came to apply for it, but I already had a couple of credit cards by this time. Part of me knew it was a bad idea but I was managing OK at the time. I mostly used them to buy clothes… which might seem ironic after hearing my story but, after growing up with little more than hand-me-downs from wherever and whoever, when I started making my own money, I just became obsessed with buying my own clothes. I mean, I didn’t go crazy but I was always on the lookout for something cute and cheap. Heck, I still am. With this card, though, Dave suggested we buy a computer. I was not into computers at all, but I loved Dave and wanted him to be happy so, sure, why not. So, we took a bus up to the old Hunt Valley Mall. It was a bit of a journey because we had to make a transfer in Towson, but that was where the nearest Sears happened to be. There, Dave spent a long time talking with the salesman in the computer section. I had no input… I was just there to pay… so I went off wandering around the store for a while. I think I bought a hammer and a couple of new dresses while they talked about motherboards and state-of-the-art 14.4 modems. When he had finally made his choice, we realized we didn’t have enough of a credit limit on my Sears card to cover the whole thing. So, the salesman suggested I apply for some other type of Sears credit account. I think it was called Sears PLUS. I’m still not sure what the deal with that was, but I applied, got approved, and after waiting what felt like another eternity, they brought out the computer from the back… and then we hopped back on the buses! Yes, we brought a mid-nineties-era computer home via bus. For those that might not remember, computers were a bit on the big and heavy side at that time. So, when we returned home, I took a nap. Dave, on the other hand, was excited to get it all set up and onto this new-fangled thing called “the internet.” Dave had tried his best to explain to me what the internet was but, I’ll admit that I didn’t quite get it at first. I had heard about America Online through my Mom (she was a self-proclaimed computer geek herself), and I had even taken a computer class in high school one semester (even though it was completely useless and I just faked my way through the whole thing). It was still all very new and intimidating to me, though. I would get nervous just trying to turn a computer on. I was just sure that one of these times, I was going to accidentally hit the wrong button and activate some kind of self-destruct sequence. I very slowly started trying out different things, though. I joined this local BBS that my Mom was already on and checked out a few chat rooms on Prodigy. It was mildly interesting, but I didn’t get a lot out of it. Meanwhile, though, Dave was on the “newsgroups” or Usenet. ​​It was there that he discovered people were posting photos of *real* naked women. Not that Playboy models

    15 min
  • 7 Episodes

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The completely true adventures of the early internet, as told by one of its more risqué stars. Starting in 1995, I became an unwitting internet pioneer. Many adventures followed. This is my story. jenpm.substack.com

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