Magic Divorce Club Podcast

Hannah Harvey

A community and resource for those going through divorce. Sharing tools and techniques to help you turn your pain into something beautiful and save money along the way. magicdivorceclub.substack.com

  1. 5d ago

    Ep 40: You're Not Too Much (And Neither Are Your Kids), with Caro Giles, Author of Unschooled

    My love, A few years ago I sat down with Caro Giles - newly divorced and finding her voice under a Northumberland sky through incredible writing - to talk about her book Twelve Moons. I was nervous. I needn’t have been … she’s hilarious and now a firm friend. Between her and Claire Venus ✨, they’ve helped me keep the faith in social media, having met through the gram. They’ve both been a huge supporter for my book, How to Divorce Sober, over the years too. When Caro shared a few weeks ago that her latest book, Unschooled, needs to sell 500 more copies for it to make it to paperback I was like… RIGHT, let’s do this. To support her campaign…. I’m giving away FIVE signed copies of Unschooled to women in this community. For a chance to win, please visit this Instagram post and follow the entry requirements. You could win a copy and you'll receive a beautiful bookplate to stick in the front cover with pride. I’m so grateful for all your support and I’ll tell you why ... Caro’s books are incredibly important. I’ve mentioned Caro to so many women in 121s over the years - she writes what we feel and can’t name is the most beautiful ways. If you’ve ever felt like you disappeared a bit when your marriage ended, both of her books are for you. What it is to find yourself a woman outside the norm - divorced, single mothering and supporting your kids in ways you didn’t know you would ever need to. All whilst wondering, who on earth am I now? In Caro’s case, as in many of the women in MDC, she found herself in a situation where the education system was failing 2 of her 4 daughters. Unschooled not only documents this journey of getting adequate education for her Autistic children, but also the one of finding ‘the woman’ and new love in amongst it all. Why it matters One of my biggest reasons (my why’s) for running the Magic Divorce Club is because when I was going through divorce I felt alone, trapped and desperate. I didn’t trust my own instincts and I believed I had a no future beyond my marriage. That I would lose everything. When I made it out the other side, I made a promise to that version of myself that I would write the book she needed in the hope that others would see there is hope and there is light beyond this. As Caro would attest, it’s a wild ride. But it’s our wild ride and we can learn to ride it together. Caro’s work is an integral part of this - she’s living a life that I know many of the MDC girls are too. In the shadows at times, doubting yourself, feeling guilty, hyper vigilant and with very little support. I don’t want you to feel alone in that. Not on my watch. And if we can get her book into paperback, even more isolated families, unpaid carers and single mums, just like you and me, will get that life line. Knowing ‘it’s not just me’ means you can start to rebuild a new, better village from the ashes of the one you thought you’d lost. So please, if you can support Caro’s campaign, that would be awesome. Head here: Ep 40: You’re Not Too Much (And Neither Are Your Kids), with Caro Giles, Author of Unschooled In this week’s podcast, Caro and I cover a lot of ground including the part nobody warns you about … advocating for yourself and your kids once the marriage is over. Caro shares everything she’s learned about this from years of fighting the system: * not being believed by legal representatives, * wishing she’d brought an ally into meetings instead of going in alone, * her kids being seen as “fine” by one parent and struggling everywhere else. Her advice: * find people who believe you, lawyers and allies, * keep a record of everything as you go, * know that it’s allowed to step back from a fight when it’s costing your family more than it’s worth. Magic Divorce Club mums unite! Unschooled came out from a small independent publisher, and for it to come out in paperback (which makes it affordable for more single parents and unpaid carers), let’s help her sell the last 500 copies of the hardback. There’s a few ways you can help: * Buy a new copy Amazon · Bookshop.org (supports indie bookshops) · Waterstones * Can’t buy it right now? Ask your library to order it in. They will, and it still moves the needle for Caro. * Take part in the competition to win a signed copy (you’ll receive a beautiful bookplate to put in your copy) You can find Caro on Instagram @carogileswrites and read more of her writing on her Substack. If you want to hear the very first conversation Caro and I ever had, back when Twelve Moons came out, it’s here: I’d love to hear from you as I know Caro would too - so please do message us both (Caro through IG above) with your takeaways from this episode. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS I do a version of the cutting the cord meditation in the 7 Days of Calm free reset series Look out for Day 4, which is all about protecting yourself and your energy. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com/subscribe

    Ep 40: You're Not Too Much (And Neither Are Your Kids), with Caro Giles, Author of Unschooled
  2. Aug 3

    Slowing down enough to feel safe. Magic Monday

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com Morning my love, Welcome to August in the MDC. Our theme for this month’s workshop is Nervous System support for high-conflict Exs and will be held on 25th August at midday. If you aren’t a LUXE member, you can grab this workshop for £37 here: Add this to your calendar by clicking here (the zoom link is inside) Today’s Magic Monday: Slowing down enough to feel safe. There’s no Live Magic Monday today as I’m driving to Derbyshire with the kids for some time with my family, so sending this before the mayhem of packing too much into a little car begins. Today’s Magic Monday is the first in a series that I've created to go right back to basics, so you can really feel what this morning practice is all about. Today we’re working right down into the lower belly and the root. Slowing down enough to feel safe. This reset is designed to help you get back into your body instead of floating around in the overwhelm in your head. To lean into your honest, brave energy and ask yourself, what can I do with the situation I’m in? Where can I be a little braver, a little more assertive? You’re allowed to be terrified and brave in the same breath. Most days when we’re doing important things it can feel like this and divorce is no different. You’ll need a notebook and pen as there’s an opportunity to write at the end. I’d love to hear what comes up for you, please do let me know. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS The next live MM is at midday on 24th August 🫶 PPS Join the MDC Community WhatsApp group here:

    Slowing down enough to feel safe. Magic Monday
  3. Jul 31

    [LUXE] Body confidence after Divorce - workshop replay

    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com/subscribe My love, I recorded this month’s LUXE workshop on Wednesday, and it turned into something a bit different to how these usually go. We’re right in the middle of the time of year when everyone’s telling us to get “bikini ready.” And if I’m honest, I think the body is one of the things that gets treated worst of all when you’re going through divorce. For years I was completely disassociated from my own body. I didn’t know how I felt. I didn’t know what I needed. I’d have panic attacks. I’d control the only thing that felt controllable, which was food, without even noticing what I was doing to myself. For a long time I thought that made me one of those women. Hysterical. Too sensitive. Turns out it wasn’t that at all. My nervous system had been squashed for so long it just had to come out somehow. So this workshop wasn’t about how to look better in anything. It was about learning how to come home to your body again. We started with three journaling prompts: * How has your relationship with your body changed since your separation? * Is there a part of your body you’ve been at war with? * What would it feel like to be at home in your body again? From there we moved into a practice borrowed from the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono tradition. I forgive you. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you. Inside the Magic Divorce Clubhouse, the protected space we come to in these sessions, we do a full body meditation to check in with every part of the body and listen without judgement. Then say those four lines to any part of the body that needs to hear them. This isn’t a one and done thing. It’s a practice. I’ve created a standalone audio of the meditation so you’ve got something to come back to anytime you want to practice this - or just learn the prayer and do work through your body as you fall asleep at night. 👆The replay is ready to watch above. If you’re not a LUXE member yet and you’d like to watch, there are two ways in: * Join LUXE (£250 for the year, less than £5 a week) and you’ll get this workshop, plus a library of others, along with Magic Mondays every week for a year. * Or invest in this workshop on its own for £37. (If you decide to upgrade to LUXE later, that £37 comes off your membership - just email me.) I would love to hear what came up as you did this workshop - the memories and stories you’d forgotten, maybe the mean things you say or the kind ones - reply to this email and tell me how you find it. I genuinely love to hear. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS Here is the meditation to use whenever you need that boost of body connection:

    [LUXE] Body confidence after Divorce - workshop replay
  4. Jul 27

    The thing I did every day to get through my divorce

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com My love, Today was Magic Monday, my weekly session with the women inside the Magic Divorce Club, which is inspired by one of the practices that got me through my own divorce. It’s a short meditation into what I call the Magic Divorce Clubhouse, a safe space surrounded by a protective layer where anything that isn’t yours to carry, other people’s expectations, guilt, pressure, all of it, gets to fizzle away. You get to rest, fill up with compassion, and then listen to what your body’s been wanting to tell you. Then we write. You write down everything you want, as if it’s already happened. It doesn’t need to be the whole five-year plan (but it can be if you like), just enough to remind yourself what you want to move towards, so you stop focusing on everything you’re moving away from for a few blissful moments. I did this most days when I was going through it. It was my way of calling in a bit of good energy when everything felt hard, and it kept me going on the days I didn’t think I could. One of the women on the call today put it better than I can: “I love journaling and being given time and space, I thought of a few things I hadn’t quite put my finger on before.” You can watch the recording above and, as always, I love to hear what comes up for you and what your next step is, so please do reply and tell me. And if you’re struggling with any of the concepts, reach out, I’m here to help. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS If you’re not a member yet and this speaks to you, you can join LUXE today’s for less than normal - My Magic Summer Sale ends tonight, and it’s the cheapest a year of LUXE will ever be. Join here (and you can see the other offers here)

  5. Jul 22

    Ep 39 - The Scars Divorce Leaves in Your Body

    ✨Look out for Magic Summer✨ I've been building something special for you to support you over the summer holidays. It starts tomorrow morning with a few big announcements and ends on Monday 27th July. Hello my love, Divorce leaves marks. We know it. We feel it. Some are obvious. Others are buried so deeply in the body that we may not even realise they’re there. In today’s episode of the Magic Divorce Club podcast, I’m joined by holistic bodyworker and scar work practitioner Anna Casey for a fascinating conversation about physical scars, emotional scarring and what it means to feel at home in your body again. Ep 39 - The Scars Divorce Leaves in Your Body Anna explains that scars are not always simply marks on the surface. They can affect how we move, how safe we feel being touched and how connected we feel to certain parts of ourselves. As we talked, I began thinking about divorce in the same way. When you are simply trying to survive conflict, grief, legal battles and enormous change, your body does whatever it can to protect you. Things may heal quickly enough to keep you functioning, but that does not necessarily mean they have healed in the way you truly needed. In this episode, we explore: • why physical scars can have a much wider impact than we realise• how difficult experiences can leave us feeling disconnected from our bodies• the temptation to change our appearance after divorce because we believe something must be wrong with us• why healing is about following the body rather than forcing it• how curiosity, softness and compassion can help us feel whole again One of the ideas that stayed with me was this: You do not need to get rid of the uncomfortable parts of yourself. You need to build a relationship with them and we explore how to do this in this month’s MDC Workshop. See below 👇 You can find Anna on Instagram at @annacasey_holisticbodywork, where she shares more about scar work, somatic therapy and reconnecting with the body. You can also reach her via her website here. I hope today’s conversation sparks some curiosity about your own body. Not, “What is wrong with me?” But perhaps: “What has my body been trying to protect me from, and what might it need from me now?” You’ve got this and I’ve got you, Hannah xx PS Body Confidence After Divorce Wednesday 29 July at 12pm This workshop is not about dieting, fixing yourself or forcing your body to look different. It is about understanding what your body has actually been through, getting honest about what it needs from you now and creating a way of caring for yourself that comes from truth and trust rather than shame. If you’re a member of LUXE, this workshop is included. Or you can grab a ticket here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com/subscribe

    Ep 39 - The Scars Divorce Leaves in Your Body
  6. Jul 8

    Ep 38: Processing Your Divorce Story vs Retraumatising Yourself

    My love, In this week’s episode I talk about something I’ve been turning over for a while now: at what point does telling our divorce story stop helping us heal, and start hurting us all over again? Ep 38: Processing Your Divorce Story vs Retraumatising Yourself I’ve been thinking about this ever since I did a little podcast about Lily Allen’s album West End Girl when it first came out. If you know it, you’ll know why. So many of the women who get in touch with me say the same thing when they hear it. The cheating. The secrecy. The shame. The blindsidedness. The agreements you get to because you were just trying to keep your family together. She’s written a whole musical of the end of a relationship, and it took me a while to recover from listening to it the first time. My friend Jo came with me to see her live a few weeks ago, and honestly, I was a little scared to go in. I knew it was going to be triggering. I knew I would cry. And yet, it was incredible. It also brought up this real tension I wanted to sit with, out loud. There’s advice that says just move on, cut the ties, leave everything in the past. We know that’s not always the best advice - this stuff lives in us so it’ll be there wherever we go. However, there’s also the other extreme, talking about it constantly and never actually moving through it. So where’s the line? In this episode I go into: * Why sitting with the truth of your own story, properly, with someone holding you through it, is different from just reopening the wound alone (or with someone reactionary) * How sharing the stuff we’re most ashamed of is often exactly what sets other women (and ourselves) free too, even if the situation looks different to theirs * The question I think matters most: what’s the intention behind sharing? Are you telling this story to process and heal, or because reopening it feels familiar? 👆 Listen to the full episode above If you’d like to try writing your story, feel free to send it to me. Whether it’s something you want me to share (anonymously or in your name) or just something you want to write down and send my way so you’re not holding it alone, I’m here for you. Just reply to this email. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS Shownotes: * My book: How to Divorce Sober * Lily Allen’s West End Girl * Ep 16: Secrets, divorce and turning pain into art - lessons from Lilly Allen * Send me your story This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com/subscribe

    Ep 38: Processing Your Divorce Story vs Retraumatising Yourself
  7. Jul 1

    Ep 37: What Divorce Did To My Relationship With My Body

    Hi love, Happy July :) This month we’re looking at Body Confidence after Divorce in the MDC… so this week I’m starting July with the honest version of my own story. EP 37: What Divorce Did To My Relationship With My Body Nobody warns you that divorce can completely change how you feel about your body. Not just how you look. How you relate to your body. Whether you trust it. Whether you’ve been treating it like something to fix or something to shrink so it takes up less space. In the episode I share: * The phase where I stopped eating because I thought if I could just get thin enough, someone else would love me. * The swing in the other direction. * The disordered eating I didn’t really name at the time. * And where I’ve landed now, which isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot closer to something that actually feels like care. None of it was really about food. It was about rejection. Worthiness. Whether I felt safe enough to look after myself at all. This is the July theme inside Magic Divorce Club: body confidence after divorce. I wanted to start here, with the messy version of it, before we do anything else. 👆 You can listen to the full episode above, or wherever you get your podcasts. If this episode brings up anything difficult around food or your body, please know you’re not alone in it. Beat is the UK’s eating disorder charity and their helpline is free: 0808 801 0677 — beateatingdisorders.org.uk Please do hit reply and tell me - can you relate? Or share your story. I’d love to hear from you and reply to every email. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS Here are the show notes for the episode: * My book: How to Divorce Sober * Magic Mondays - 10am every Monday, this month we’ll focuse on love and self-compassion, join for as little as £6.67/month here * Magic Divorce Club JULY Workshop: Body Confidence After Divorce - Live at midday on 29th July. If you’d like to join us, sign up for LUXE membership here: Or grab a drop-in ticket here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com/subscribe

    Ep 37: What Divorce Did To My Relationship With My Body
  8. Jun 29

    Open the doors and windows to your life

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit magicdivorceclub.substack.com Hi love, This morning’s Magic Monday picked up something from Thursday’s productivity workshop I’d missed: habits, and how much of what we do every day runs on autopilot. The same things over and over, give the same results. So we slowed down and asked a different question. Not what do I need to get done today, but what does my body actually want me to do for it, everyday? Because when you change your habits, you change your destiny! * You can watch today’s Magic Monday replay above * And I’ve created an AI prompt for you below (in the PS) to help you identify what your perfectly imperfect morning routine could look like. For one of the club members, she’s going to work on stepping outside every morning - even for just 5 mins - so you can feel more alive and connected to nature. Such a beautiful idea! What came up for me is that I need to read in the morning. It just lights me up. I’m a manifesting generator in Human Design, and I tend to do my best work when I have something to respond to rather than trying to create ideas from an empty brain. My empty brain likes to fill itself with worry or urgency or hustle. Reading gives me that bit of inspiration to get my brain firing in a whole new beautiful way. It puts a thought in my head, opens something up and gives my mind somewhere interesting to go before the demands of the day begin. I’ve just finished the first novel I’ve read in about a year, Leonard and Hungry Paul. There’s a moment where one of the characters realises that his life has quietly been getting smaller and he says this: “I just can’t help feeling that I need to open the doors and windows of my life a little.” from ‘Leonard and Hungry Paul’ by Ronan Hession. That idea has been rattling around in my head ever since. Because to me that question of what we do every day and how our habits form our destiny just feels intrinsically linked. Especially during divorce - it’s a whole new chapter. A painful one, I know. And one that can make our lives feel small. But really it’s an opportunity to fling the windows and doors wide open and see what is now possible for you. Because I believe a lot is possible for you. That you can change your habits and destiny and truly create a future you are so proud of and LOVE 🥰 And it all starts with the first step. So, when you’re ready, settle in for Magic Monday (recording above) and once you have stepped into the Magic Divorce Clubhouse and made yourself at home, keep this in mind … What’s one small thing that you can do to open the doors and windows to your life again? What helps you feel inspired, connected, rested or a little more like yourself? Whatever comes up for you doesn’t need to be impressive. But it does need to be true for you. To light you up. To create that fresh flow of energy around your life. * Five minutes outside counts. * A couple of pages of a book count. * Sitting quietly with your coffee counts. As always, tell me everything so I can cheerlead you on! You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. Hannah XOX PS If you’re not a member, we’d love to have you :) join below to watch today’s replay and be sure to join us next Monday: PPS Here is you AI prompt to explore what a realistic morning routine that lights you up could look like (copy and paste everything in the box below):

    Open the doors and windows to your life

About

A community and resource for those going through divorce. Sharing tools and techniques to help you turn your pain into something beautiful and save money along the way. magicdivorceclub.substack.com