It's Not Me, It's You

Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
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Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships to long-term love and red flags we all ignore. Expect real talk, unfiltered laughs, and hard truths. Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in between, you’ll leave every episode feeling a little less alone, and a lot more entertained. Come for the laughs, stay for the relatable chaos. ♥️ 💔

  1. From Horoscope to Horrorscope: Is He Cooking or Cooked?

    APR 15

    From Horoscope to Horrorscope: Is He Cooking or Cooked?

    EPISODE 16 This episode goes from horoscopes to straight-up horrorscopes real quick 😭 We sit down with our guest and get into his dating history (being in love not once, but twice, almost getting engaged, and all the chaos in between). Somewhere along the way, we start questioning if it was real love… or just the stars playing games. We talk zodiac signs, patterns in dating, red flags we ignored, and those moments where you really have to ask yourself: are they cooking… or are they actually cooked? It’s funny, a little unhinged, and way too relatable if you’ve ever tried to make sense of your love life through a birth chart.

    1h 2m
  2. Red flags, Green flags & Everything in between

    MAR 11

    Red flags, Green flags & Everything in between

    🎙️ Episode 15: Red Flags, Green Flags & Everything In Between (w/ Cosze) In this episode, we sit down with our guest Cosze and get into the messy middle of modern dating... the red flags, the green flags, and all the confusing signals in between. Like most of our conversations, it starts one place and ends somewhere completely different. We talk dating experiences, reading people’s energy, figuring out what’s real vs what’s a warning sign, and the gray areas that make relationships so complicated. Some people ignore red flags. Some people run at the first sign of trouble. And some of us are just trying to figure out what actually matters when you’re getting to know someone. Real talk, random tangents, and the kind of conversation that feels like sitting around with friends trying to decode dating.

    1h 33m
  3. The "fun parts" of dating...

    JAN 12

    The "fun parts" of dating...

    The Fun Parts of Dating (Yes, We’re Being Sarcastic) We had a little time before the year wrapped… so of course we hit record.This one’s off-the-whim, no outline, no filter, just us talking about the “fun” parts of dating (heavy sarcasm implied). From mixed signals, situationships, overthinking texts, dating fatigue, and the emotional gymnastics that somehow count as modern romance, we’re laughing through it because honestly… what else can you do? If you’ve ever said “I’m done dating” and then downloaded the app again a week later, this episode is for you.End-of-year chaos, dating trauma bonding, and real talk before the reset. Happy almost-new-year. Good luck out there 🫡

    22 min
  4. The darkness of dating apps: Trust, but verify.

    JAN 5

    The darkness of dating apps: Trust, but verify.

    Dating apps aren’t just awkward anymore… they’re kinda dark. In this episode, Matt breaks down his real-life experiences on dating apps...from sketchy situations to straight-up fraud, and why “trust, but verify” isn’t paranoia, it’s survival. We talk about: The illusion of safety on dating apps Red flags that show up way too late When giving the benefit of the doubt turns into being naïve How optimism can get you played Protecting your energy, time, and peace while still staying open to love This isn’t fear-mongering, it’s real conversations from real experiences.If you’re dating online, thinking about it, or already tired of it… this one’s for you.

    1h 32m
  5. Be the Water, Not the Rock: Love, Fear & Finding Your Flow.

    12/10/2025

    Be the Water, Not the Rock: Love, Fear & Finding Your Flow.

    This week’s episode gets heated in the best way. Vanessa and Matt get real about love, fear, commitment, and whether past experiences leave us tainted or just more self-aware. Matt opens up about thinking he might’ve been in love once and why he doesn’t know if he’ll ever find love again. Vanessa challenges him on how commitment does define a relationship, especially after dedicating 7 years to one relationship and 9 to another. We dive into: What “being tainted” really means Why commitment matters (or doesn’t?) How to go with the flow instead of forcing connections Becoming a magnet for what you want “Be the water, not the rock” ... our new dating mantra The difference between lack of chemistry vs. genuine compatibility Knowing what you’re doing in dating (and not misleading people) It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. It’s chaotic.And it might just help you figure out your own relationships.

    1h 2m
  6. Protect Your Sauce: The Truth About Self Awareness, Energy & Relationship Types

    12/04/2025

    Protect Your Sauce: The Truth About Self Awareness, Energy & Relationship Types

    In this episode, we get into the real foundations of dating, relationships, and self-awareness. Because the truth is: dating gets way easier when YOU know who you are. We talk:✨ the two types of single people (the ones who want to be single vs. the ones who absolutely don’t)✨ how dating & sex are an energy exchange✨ why some people protect their sauce… and others just hand it out like Costco samples✨ the major relationship types... the happily in love, the unhappily attached, the conformers, the cheaters, and the “idk what we’re doing but we’re here” crowd✨ why self-awareness makes everything… life, love, intimacy, choosing partners… SO much easier It’s real talk, funny talk, and “oh damn I needed to hear that” talk... your fav mix.

    1h 5m
  7. Gamer Girl Cracks the Code on Relationships

    10/04/2025

    Gamer Girl Cracks the Code on Relationships

    In this episode, we sit down with Jenny, who’s been in a loving relationship for three years and is building a future with her person. We dive into everything from sugar babies to self-love, and how knowing yourself is the real key to finding the right partner. Jenny gets real about not settling, the importance of growing with your partner, and the exciting next steps she and her girl are planning together. It’s a mix of laughs, love talk, and lessons you won’t want to miss.

    1h 12m
  8. Chef Tavos & His Secret Sauce On Love

    09/17/2025

    Chef Tavos & His Secret Sauce On Love

    This week on It’s Not Me, It’s You we’re joined by the incredibly talented Chef Tavos; food truck king, flavor wizard, and culinary dreamer who’s out here making magic happen with the love of his life by his side. 🌮 ❤️ He’s serving up more than just mouthwatering dishes… he’s also dishing out his secret sauce on love. Their food? It doesn’t just taste good, it transports you. One bite and you’re not dying… you’re being reborn again. ✨ Tavos opens up about how he found “the one” while chasing his dream, what it’s like building a life (and a business) together, and how love fuels his hustle. We laugh, get real about relationships, and hear the honest truth behind building both a brand and a marriage from the ground up. Come for the shenanigans, stay for the heart. 🫶

    1h 35m
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About

Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships to long-term love and red flags we all ignore. Expect real talk, unfiltered laughs, and hard truths. Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in between, you’ll leave every episode feeling a little less alone, and a lot more entertained. Come for the laughs, stay for the relatable chaos. ♥️ 💔

Information

  • Creator
    Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
  • Show Website
    It's Not Me, It's You