Healing Religious Trauma for Christian Women | Recover From Church Hurt and Trust God Again

Debra Shafer | Religious Trauma Coach for Christian Women
  • 4.7 (7)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

I love God. So why do I feel so far from Him? Maybe you’ve never said it out loud. You’ve served, you’ve believed, you’ve stayed. And somewhere along the way, the closeness turned into distance, the joy turned into a tiredness sleep doesn’t touch, and church became one more place to hold it all together. Underneath it all is a quiet fear that the problem is you. Friend, you are not the problem. What you’ve been carrying has a name: religious trauma. And there’s a way to heal it without leaving your faith. I’m Debra Shafer, a Christian spiritual healing coach and the author of He Is Enough. I lived this for years before I found my way home. Now I walk Christian women through healing from religious trauma, church hurt, and spiritual abuse, back to a safe, loving God. Every week, it’s just you and me and one true thing about God. You’ll find words for what happened to you. You’ll see who God truly is and, most importantly, who He isn’t. You’ll learn why you’re so tired, how to trust God again, and how to rest in His love instead of striving. And if you’re a mother, you’ll find out how, by God’s grace, generational trauma can end with you. Then there’s The Hadassah Files. Real women step out of hiding and tell their stories in their own words. And in Hidden Voices, my dear friend Simone and I take one real question a woman was brave enough to send in, the kind so many of us are afraid to ask, and meet it with love. Healing is not betrayal. Looking honestly at what hurt you isn’t turning away from God. It’s turning toward Him. You get to keep your faith, and keep it freely. Follow the show so each new episode finds you. And when you’re ready, take my free quiz at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com for a full report on where you stand. You can’t heal what you can’t name. Everything begins with looking into the true face of God. That changes everything. ABOUT Debra Shafer is a Christian spiritual healing coach and the author of He Is Enough, and she knows firsthand what it is to love God and, at the same time, feel far from Him. She spent years as the loyal, faithful one, holding it together while quietly coming apart, until she saw it was never her faith that was failing. It was the version of God she’d been handed. Now she helps Christian women heal from religious trauma without leaving their faith.

  1. May 20

    33 | The Hadassah Files: A Hidden Voice on Religious Trauma, God's Love, and Coming Home

    What if the fear you carried was never who you really were, and the real you was bursting with life the whole time, just waiting for somewhere safe to come out? Episode Description This is a first. In this special Hadassah Files episode, you don't hear teaching, you hear one of the hidden ones tell the truth out loud. A real woman, here called Hadassah, sits down for an honest, unhurried conversation about a faith she has loved since she was small, and what happened when the God she was being taught stopped matching the kind, steady God she sensed in her heart. She talks about the years of fear and self-judgment, the belief that she had to be perfect to be loved, the sense that her questions were too loud and her real self was too much. And then she talks about the turn: the early morning she finally told God she would not perform for Him anymore, the one safe person who believed her, the slow return to a self she had buried to stay safe. This is religious trauma named in plain language, and it is also genuine hope, the kind that comes from watching someone heal without having to destroy herself or walk away from her faith to do it. In this episode, you'll discover: How the God she knew as a child, kind, present, never controlling, got replaced by a God who seemed to need her perfect Why hiding, self-criticism, and walls felt safer than being seen, and what that protected her from The early morning moment she stopped performing for God and started trusting His grace What changed when one safe person finally believed her without judgment How she found language for what happened, by stopping the spiritualizing and simply calling it what it was What life, purpose, and connection look like now, on the other side, still in process, no longer afraid Healing Truth You are not too much, and the fear was never the real you. God is not waiting for you to perform before He calls you His. You do not have to reinvent yourself to heal. Sometimes you only need a little help to see God rightly and come back to the woman you have always been.   Key Quote: "I've been able to grow and not have to destroy myself."   🎧 Ready to go deeper? → Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com → Read Debra’s story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. → Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com About Debra I'm Debra Shafer, spiritual healing coach for Christian women and founder of the Healing Religious Trauma Circle, walking women home to a safe, loving God with a voice of gentle clarity, healing, and truth. Have questions or want to connect? Email me at  debra@healingreligioustrauma.org Listener Love If this episode helped you feel less alone, would you share it with someone who needs this gentle truth? And a quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way to healing. This isn't surface-level faith advice. It's soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and the ability to trust God completely. Through addressing generational trauma and nurturing true connection, we help you experience God's love in the deepest way. Strengthen your relationship with a safe, loving God.

  2. Apr 30

    32 | 3 Things That Make Healing from Religious Trauma Actually Feel Safe

    What if you haven’t been failing at healing — you just never had a safe enough place to do it? If you’ve tried to grow, to heal, to open up in your faith journey — and something keeps holding you back — this episode is for you. Not because something is wrong with you. But because healing requires safety. And religious trauma often robs us of exactly that. In this episode, Debra introduces the concept of a safe growth container — the foundational, protected space where real transformation becomes possible. She also names something that rarely gets talked about: the wound of being witnessed in our pain and having no one intervene. And why healing in the presence of others isn’t optional — it’s essential. Through the story of a young mother whose walls quietly went up after one ordinary moment at her faith community — and what happened the first time she finally felt truly heard — you’ll understand why safety isn’t a luxury in healing. It’s the foundation. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why religious trauma makes growth nearly impossible — and why that’s not your fault The hidden wound of witnessed pain — why it stings even more than the original hurt What a safe space actually requires — and how to recognize it anywhere in your life Eight agreements that create real safety — not rules handed down from above, but promises everyone makes together What true empowerment actually means — and why it’s God-given restoration, not self-generated power Journal prompt: Where in your life have you been trying to grow in unsafe conditions? And is there a moment when your pain was witnessed by others — and no one said anything? What would it mean to finally have that seen and held? Healing truth: You haven’t been failing at healing. You’ve been trying to grow without a safe place to do it — and without being truly seen. That changes now.   🎧 Ready to go deeper? → Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com → Read Debra’s story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. → Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and creator of the Coming Home Journey. She helps women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. Known for her voice of gentle clarity and truth, Debra walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode helped you finally name why healing has felt so hard — and gave you hope that something safer is possible — would you share it with one woman who needs to hear it too? Someone in your life may be trying to grow in the cold, carrying her story alone. This could be the episode that changes that. A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way here. 💛 This is soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and creating space where all of you is truly welcome, we help you discover that you were never the problem — you just needed a safe place to grow.

  3. Apr 8

    31 | (Religious Trauma) Biblical 'Rebellion' That Honored God: When Questioning IS Faithfulness

    What if some of the most faithful people in the Bible were called rebels by religious systems? What if Esther only saved her people because she broke protocol? What if the man who questioned the Pharisees wasn't being disrespectful, but was speaking truth? Here's what you need to know: What looks like rebellion to religious systems is often faithfulness to God. Episode Description In this episode, Debra shows you four powerful biblical examples of people who looked "rebellious" to religious systems but were actually being faithful to God. From Mordecai and Esther to the Hebrew midwives to Jesus Himself, you'll discover a pattern: choosing to obey God over human religious authority, being labeled rebellious for it, and God vindicating their faithfulness. If you've ever been called rebellious for asking questions, speaking truth, or protecting the vulnerable — this episode will give you the courage you didn't know you needed. In this episode, you'll discover: → How Mordecai and Esther's "rebellion" saved God's people from destruction → Why the man born blind was cast out for questioning religious authority — and what Jesus did next → How two Hebrew midwives disobeyed Pharaoh's evil orders and received God's blessing → Why Jesus Himself was labeled rebellious, divisive, and demon-possessed by religious leaders → The unmistakable pattern: faithfulness to God often looks like rebellion to religious systems Healing Truth If you've been called rebellious for being faithful to God above religious systems, you're in the best company imaginable. You're standing where prophets stood, where apostles stood, where Jesus Himself stood. Religious systems often call "rebellion" what God calls "faithfulness." They label as "divisive" what God calls "truth-telling." And one day, your faithfulness will be vindicated too. Key Quote: "If telling the truth is rebellion, then I guess I'm a rebel." Ready to go deeper? Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com Read Debra's story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com — Join the Coming Home Journey. A life-changing journey with women who understand and care. You don't have to do this alone. About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and creator of the Coming Home Journey. She helps women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. Known for her voice of gentle clarity and truth, Debra walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode gave you courage to stand for truth even when it's called rebellion, would you share it? Someone in your life needs to know they're not being rebellious — they're being faithful. A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way here. This is soul-level restoration for Christian women healing religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and helping you trust God completely, we help you discover that questioning isn't rebellion — it's faithfulness to God's love and truth.

  4. Mar 29

    30 | Religious Trauma | When Enduring Becomes Enabling: How to Know When God Wants You to Draw a Line

    "Just pray more. Be patient. Turn the other cheek. God is testing you. You need to endure." Have you heard these words when you tried to speak up about harm? When you set a boundary? Here's the question haunting you: How do you know the difference between godly endurance and enabling abuse? Between turning the other cheek and protecting yourself from ongoing harm? Episode Description In this episode, Debra addresses one of the most confusing questions faithful women face: When is it okay to set boundaries? When should we speak up? When does staying become enabling, and leaving become faithfulness? Through Jesus' own example of clearing the temple, healing on the Sabbath, and confronting religious abuse, you'll discover that healthy boundaries aren't a lack of faith — they're an act of faithfulness. Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is draw a line in the sand. In this episode, you'll discover: → How Jesus set bold, disruptive boundaries that made religious leaders uncomfortable → The critical difference between persecution FOR righteousness vs. abuse IN THE NAME of righteousness → Five powerful questions to help you discern when God is asking you to draw a line → Why staying silent might not be submission — it might be fear disguised as faith → When leaving becomes the prophetic act that speaks truth your words couldn't Healing Truth There's a difference between suffering FOR righteousness and suffering FROM unrighteousness. Jesus endured persecution from those who hated truth, but He confronted abuse from those who twisted it. He knew the difference. And with the Holy Spirit's help, you can know it too. Healthy boundaries aren't rebellion — they're an act of faith. Key Quote: "Maybe faithfulness doesn't always look like silence. Maybe sometimes, it looks like finding your voice." Ready to go deeper? Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com Read Debra's story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com — Join the Coming Home Journey. A life-changing journey with women who understand and care. You don't have to do this alone. About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and creator of the Coming Home Journey. She helps women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. Known for her voice of gentle clarity and truth, Debra walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode gave you permission to finally consider drawing a line, would you share it? Someone in your life needs to hear that boundaries aren't unfaithful — they're sometimes the most faithful thing we can do. A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way here. This is soul-level restoration for Christian women healing religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and helping you trust God completely, we help you learn when enduring becomes enabling and discover God's love that gives you permission to protect yourself.

  5. Feb 13

    29 | How Jesus Responded to Religious Trauma (What He Did for the Wounded)

    When you picture Jesus getting angry — really angry — what comes to mind? Maybe you've been taught that anger is sinful. That good Christians should always be gentle. But here's what might surprise you: Jesus was incredibly gentle with the wounded. But with religious leaders crushing people under the weight of their rules? Jesus was fierce. Episode Description In this episode, Debra shows you something that might change how you see Jesus — and how you see yourself. Through three powerful biblical encounters, you'll discover how Jesus dealt with religious trauma in His time: confronting the abusers, healing the wounded, and revealing God's true heart. The God that Jesus revealed isn't the one you've been afraid of. And the Jesus you're about to meet? He's on your side. In this episode, you'll discover: → How Jesus responded to a man cast out for telling the truth about his healing → What Jesus said to a woman isolated for 12 years by religious laws → Why Jesus got angry at religious leaders who valued rules over a woman's 18 years of suffering → The pattern Jesus shows us: fierce anger for abusers, tender compassion for the wounded → Why you don't have to be afraid of Jesus — His protective love is for you Healing Truth Jesus saves His fierce anger for those who wound God's people. But for those who have been wounded? He has nothing but compassion. The God that Jesus revealed is fiercely protective of the wounded, tender toward the suffering, and angry at systems that crush people. He will break religious rules to set people free. Key Quote: "Jesus is on your side. His anger is reserved for those who wound. His tenderness is for you. You don't have to be afraid of Him. You never did." Ready to go deeper? Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com Read Debra's story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com — Join the Coming Home Journey. A life-changing journey with women who understand and care. You don't have to do this alone. About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and creator of the Coming Home Journey. She helps women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. Known for her voice of gentle clarity and truth, Debra walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode gave you a glimpse of Jesus' true heart toward you, would you share it? There's someone in your life who needs to know that Jesus isn't angry at them for their questions, their struggles, or their pain. A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way here. This is soul-level restoration for Christian women healing religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and helping you trust God completely, we help you discover God's love that was fiercely protective of you all along.

  6. Jan 22

    28 | Religious Trauma: Signs, Symptoms, & Solutions

    Have you ever walked away from church feeling confused and heavy — then immediately told yourself you're "just being too sensitive"? That tightness in your chest when certain teachings are mentioned. That knot in your stomach around certain people. You've felt it, but you've pushed it down because good Christian women don't question things like that. Right? Episode Description In this episode, Debra helps you finally name what you've been carrying. Because here's the truth: you can't heal what you can't name. This isn't about rejecting faith — it's about healing from harm done in the name of faith. If you've ever felt spiritual discomfort but didn't have words for it, this episode will give you the clarity you've been searching for. In this episode, you'll discover: → What religious trauma actually is — and why it's so hard to recognize → Why faithful, loyal Christian women are the LEAST likely to see they're being hurt → The sacred parts of your soul that got trampled — and why it wasn't your fault → Eight common symptoms of religious trauma (and why they don't mean you're broken) → How to start paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you Healing Truth You didn't recognize religious trauma because you were BEING good. You were being faithful. You were being loyal. The problem wasn't your heart. These symptoms don't mean you're broken. They mean you've been hurt. And hurt people need healing, not more shame. Key Quote: "You can't heal what you can't name. And now? You can name it. That's the first step toward healing." Ready to go deeper? Do you suffer from religious trauma? Find out! ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com Read Debra's story and unravel your own. HeIsEnoughBook.com — a redemptive memoir and healing guide. Ready for complete transformation? TheComingHomeJourney.com Join the Coming Home Journey — A life-changing journey with women who understand and care. You don’t have to do this alone.   About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and creator of the Coming Home Journey. She helps women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. Known for her voice of gentle clarity and truth, Debra walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode helped you put words to what you've been experiencing, would you share it with someone who needs to hear this? A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way here. This is soul-level restoration for Christian women healing religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and helping you trust God completely, we help you recognize what happened and finally discover God's love that was there all along.

  7. Jan 14

    27 | Learning to Fly: Spiritual Healing That Lasts | The Path Home: Phase 5

    You've had the breakthrough. You've glimpsed who you really are. But now what? How do you actually LIVE as this new woman — especially when life gets hard and the old patterns try to pull you back? Episode Description In this final episode of The Path Home series, Debra reveals why breakthroughs don't always stick — and what it actually takes to make transformation permanent. This is Phase Five: Growing Your Wings. The caterpillar has dissolved, but the butterfly's wings are still wet. It's time to develop the capacity to fly. If you've ever had a powerful moment of healing and then slipped back into old patterns, this episode will show you why — and how to finally break free for good. In this episode, you'll discover: → Why breakthrough isn't the end — it's just the beginning → The difference between feeling different and actually living different → What "growth codes" are and why they make transformation permanent → How to navigate the uncomfortable liminal space between old and new → The promise of Philippians 1:6 — He who began a good work WILL complete it Healing Truth Transformation isn't a moment — it's a process. And you don't have to do it alone. The God who started this work in you is faithful to finish it. Your wings are growing. And one day soon, you're going to fly. Scripture: Philippians 1:6 — "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Ready to go deeper? Discover your personal healing path: Take our free Religious Trauma Assessment at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com and uncover which of the 12 hidden barriers might be shaping your relationship with God, yourself, and others. You'll receive a personalized report plus my complete Essentials Starter Kit—including my book He Is Enough, Truth Over Tradition mini-course, live reading circles, and access to our supportive community—all completely FREE. Transform your story completely: Join the Coming Home Journey at TheComingHomeJourney.com—a six-month guided experience to unravel religious trauma, instill God's truth, and create your new story alongside women who truly understand. 50% Off Founder Pricing ends January 1st—this is your last month to join at half the investment. Prices double next year. About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and the creator of the Coming Home Journey—a gentle, soul-level pathway to help women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. As the founder of the Healing Religious Trauma Circle, Debra brings together decades of experience in personal ministry, Biblical psychology, and trauma-informed mentoring. She knows what it's like to love God deeply while wrestling with fear, shame, and silence. Known for her voice of gentle clarity, healing, and truth, she now walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If The Path Home series has meant something to you, would you share it with a friend who needs this hope? And a quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women discover that transformation is possible — not just as a moment, but as a way of life. This isn't surface-level faith advice. It's soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and true connection with God. Through addressing generational trauma and cultivating growth that lasts, we help you trust God completely and finally learn to fly.

  8. Jan 7

    26 | 3 Ways God's Truth Transforms Your Identity | The Path Home: Phase 4

    Have you ever had a breakthrough that didn't stick? Tried affirmations, prayer, even counseling — and felt better for a while, but then ended up right back where you started? What if the problem isn't you... it's that real transformation happens at a level most approaches never reach? Episode Description In Phase Four of The Path Home series, Debra reveals why breakthroughs don't always last — and what actually creates permanent, irreversible transformation. This isn't about trying harder or having more faith. It's about the deeper, more accurate truth meeting the lie at the seed level and dissolving it with love. If you've been stuck in the same patterns no matter what you've tried, this episode will show you why — and what's actually possible when transformation happens at the root. In this episode, you'll discover: → The difference between feeling better and actually being different — and why it matters → Why affirmations and "trying harder" don't create lasting change → How barriers actually dissolve — gently, not through force → The "deeper, more accurate truth" that's been waiting underneath the lies → What's actually true about you — according to God's original design, not religious trauma Healing Truth You're not broken. You've been brilliantly adaptive. The barriers you carry aren't proof that something is wrong with you — they're proof that you survived something difficult. And the deeper, more accurate truth about who you are? It's been waiting for you all along. Scripture: Romans 12:2 — "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Ready to go deeper? Discover your personal healing path: Take our free Religious Trauma Assessment at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com and uncover which of the 12 hidden barriers might be shaping your relationship with God, yourself, and others. You'll receive a personalized report plus my complete Essentials Starter Kit—including my book He Is Enough, Truth Over Tradition mini-course, live reading circles, and access to our supportive community—all completely FREE. Transform your story completely: Join the Coming Home Journey at TheComingHomeJourney.com—a six-month guided experience to unravel religious trauma, instill God's truth, and create your new story alongside women who truly understand.  About Debra Debra Shafer is a spiritual healing coach for Christian women and the creator of the Coming Home Journey—a gentle, soul-level pathway to help women untangle religious trauma, rebuild trust in God, and find peace without walking away from their faith. As the founder of the Healing Religious Trauma Circle, Debra brings together decades of experience in personal ministry, Biblical psychology, and trauma-informed mentoring. She knows what it's like to love God deeply while wrestling with fear, shame, and silence. Known for her voice of gentle clarity, healing, and truth, she now walks women home to the God they always hoped was real. Listener Love If this episode helped you understand why nothing has worked before — and what real transformation looks like — would you share it with someone who's been stuck in that same cycle? A quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women discover that lasting change is possible. This isn't surface-level faith advice. It's soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and the ability to trust God completely. Through addressing generational trauma and cultivating the deeper truth, we help you experience God's love and transform your identity from the inside out.

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I love God. So why do I feel so far from Him? Maybe you’ve never said it out loud. You’ve served, you’ve believed, you’ve stayed. And somewhere along the way, the closeness turned into distance, the joy turned into a tiredness sleep doesn’t touch, and church became one more place to hold it all together. Underneath it all is a quiet fear that the problem is you. Friend, you are not the problem. What you’ve been carrying has a name: religious trauma. And there’s a way to heal it without leaving your faith. I’m Debra Shafer, a Christian spiritual healing coach and the author of He Is Enough. I lived this for years before I found my way home. Now I walk Christian women through healing from religious trauma, church hurt, and spiritual abuse, back to a safe, loving God. Every week, it’s just you and me and one true thing about God. You’ll find words for what happened to you. You’ll see who God truly is and, most importantly, who He isn’t. You’ll learn why you’re so tired, how to trust God again, and how to rest in His love instead of striving. And if you’re a mother, you’ll find out how, by God’s grace, generational trauma can end with you. Then there’s The Hadassah Files. Real women step out of hiding and tell their stories in their own words. And in Hidden Voices, my dear friend Simone and I take one real question a woman was brave enough to send in, the kind so many of us are afraid to ask, and meet it with love. Healing is not betrayal. Looking honestly at what hurt you isn’t turning away from God. It’s turning toward Him. You get to keep your faith, and keep it freely. Follow the show so each new episode finds you. And when you’re ready, take my free quiz at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com for a full report on where you stand. You can’t heal what you can’t name. Everything begins with looking into the true face of God. That changes everything. ABOUT Debra Shafer is a Christian spiritual healing coach and the author of He Is Enough, and she knows firsthand what it is to love God and, at the same time, feel far from Him. She spent years as the loyal, faithful one, holding it together while quietly coming apart, until she saw it was never her faith that was failing. It was the version of God she’d been handed. Now she helps Christian women heal from religious trauma without leaving their faith.

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