The Breaking Financial Chains Podcast

Tanya Ibberson
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Are you tired of feeling anxious about money despite working hard? Do you avoid opening bank statements, feel trapped by financial decisions you don't understand, or struggle with someone else controlling your access to money? You're not alone. Join chartered accountant and financial coach Tanya Ibberson for Breaking Financial Chains – the podcast that combines practical financial guidance with psychological insights to help you transform your relationship with money and recognise when others are using money to control you. Unlike traditional finance podcasts that focus only on the numbers, Tanya understands that financial freedom isn't just about budgets and spreadsheets. It's about healing emotional barriers, breaking unhealthy patterns, recognising financial abuse, and overcoming the shame that keeps us stuck. Whether you're dealing with a controlling partner who monitors every penny or simply need to understand the warning signs of financial coercion, this podcast provides crucial insights for protection and recovery . Whether you're a successful professional who secretly struggles with money management, someone experiencing or recovering from financial control in a relationship, or ready to break free from generational money patterns, this podcast offers a safe, non-judgmental space to learn, heal and grow. Each week, through solo episodes, expert interviews and transformation stories, you'll discover practical tools and emotional support to help you build genuine financial confidence and independence. Because financial empowerment is possible for everyone – regardless of your starting point or past experiences. Remember: financial freedom isn't just about the numbers – it's about breaking the chains that hold you back from living a life aligned with your values.

  1. 4d ago

    Why You Spend More When You’re Stressed

    You’ve had a relentless day, and somewhere between logging off and going to bed you’ve bought the shoes, booked the weekend or ordered another takeaway. Because you deserve it. And maybe you do. In this episode, chartered certified accountant and financial coach Tanya Ibberson explores the link between stress spikes and spending spirals: why spending becomes so attractive when we’re stressed, what we’re really buying when we hit "buy now", and how small, quiet purchases can turn into a loop of pressure, relief and regret. This isn’t about banning treats. It’s about noticing your patterns, so the money you spend is a choice rather than an automatic escape. Tanya also explains why "can I afford it?" isn’t always the right question for high earners, and shares a simple three-question stress spend pause to use before any non-essential purchase. Chapters 00:00 The "I deserve this" moment 01:50 Stress spending is quieter than you think 03:00 What are you really buying? 05:00 Notice what happens before you spend 06:00 Why spending works (briefly) 07:00 How a spending spiral starts 08:15 Money habits don’t live in isolation 10:20 Sleep, HRV and spotting your patterns 12:50 When "can I afford it?" is the wrong question 14:15 Awareness isn’t control, it’s choice 15:55 The stress spend pause: three questions 17:55 Build a bigger relief menu 19:50 What your bank statement is telling you 21:45 This week’s reflection This week’s reflection: when life feels particularly stressful or overwhelming, what changes in the way I spend money? And what might that pattern be trying to tell me about what I actually need? Watch the episode before this one, Why Money Feels Fine One Day and Scary the Next: https://youtu.be/jor5WTwd6l0 Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  2. Oct 21

    Why Money Feels Fine One Day and Scary the Next

    The bank balance hasn’t changed. The mortgage hasn’t changed. So why do the same numbers feel fine one day and like a disaster the next? In this episode, chartered certified accountant and financial confidence coach Tanya Ibberson explains why money decisions start in your body before they reach the spreadsheet, and how to move from a feeling of pressure to a feeling of peace when you deal with your money. You’ll hear why stress makes it harder to think clearly about money, why it can show up as impulse spending or as avoidance (hello, suddenly spotless fridge), why high achievers often respond by working harder, and why a racing heart when you open your banking app is information, not an instruction. Tanya also shares her simple four-step check to use before any important money decision (notice, name, settle, decide) and when a 24-hour pause is the smartest move you can make. Chapters 00:00 Same numbers, different day 02:28 Why money decisions aren’t just maths 04:00 What your body notices first 06:40 How stress changes the way you think 09:30 When stress shows up as spending 11:00 When it shows up as avoidance 13:13 Why high achievers work more to feel safe 14:30 Why knowing the numbers wasn’t enough 16:30 A feeling is information, not an instruction 18:15 You don’t need to feel zen first 20:00 Notice, name, settle, decide 22:48 The 24-hour rule 24:20 Spotting your own patterns 27:00 Knowing yourself around your numbers 29:00 This week’s reflection This week’s reflection: think about a recent money decision you made quickly, avoided completely or later regretted. What was happening in your body and in your life at the time? What might you do differently if you notice that state again? Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  3. Oct 14

    How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Scared of Money!

    Would you rather your child made a £10 mistake or a £10,000 one?  Pocket money can be the safest financial classroom your children will ever have, if we let them use it. In this episode, chartered certified accountant and financial confidence coach Tanya Ibberson makes the case for pocket money with purpose: letting children practise with small amounts of money, get some of it wrong and build calm money confidence long before the stakes are high. You'll hear why pocket money (or allowance) is really about agency, consequences and self-trust, what to say instead of "I told you so", whether pocket money should be earned or given, how to make money visible again in a tap-to-pay world and when the most loving answer is "wait until next week". Chapters 00:00 A £10 mistake or a £10,000 one? 02:07 What pocket money really teaches 05:30 What to say instead of “I told you so” 06:20 Should pocket money be earned? 07:40 Why money feels invisible to kids now 10:00 From pocket money to first payslip 13:01 Saving with a purpose 14:10 Spending is a skill too (and giving) 16:30 The parent rescue problem 18:20 Growing responsibility with age 20:30 Spend, save, share, reflect 22:30 Generational wealth at the kitchen table 23:45 This week’s reflection question This week's reflection: am I teaching the children in my life to follow my financial rules, or giving them safe opportunities to build their own financial judgement and confidence? Subscibe to the channel. Never miss another episode.  Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  4. Oct 7

    Breaking Free From Money Shame: Why Success Doesn’t Equal Financial Confidence

    Breaking Free From Money Shame: Why Success Doesn’t Equal Financial Confidence Feeling like you should have your money sorted but secretly don’t? This episode tackles money shame, why it hits high achievers hardest, what it costs, and how to break free. The real difference between money guilt and money shame Why high achievers are especially vulnerable (and how it shows up) The costly cycle of avoidance and hiding Practical steps for shifting from self-judgment to action How to turn financial facts into growth, not identity Chapters 00:00 Feeling shame about money issues 05:51 High achievers and financial stress 09:11 Facing financial control issues 11:43 The cycle of financial shame 14:03 Financial stress and identity challenges 18:11 Understanding credit card debt perceptions 21:41 Breaking Money Shame Myths Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  5. Sep 30

    Are You Buying Your Way Out of Mum Guilt?

    Mum guilt hits differently when you earn well. You've built the career, the home and the holidays, and still wonder whether you're there enough. So you book the bigger trip, say yes to the concert, make Christmas extra special… and the guilt doesn't shift. In this episode I'm talking about mum guilt in high-earning households: why providing financially can quietly become how we prove we're a good mother, how guilt spending creeps in, and why the list of what children "need" keeps growing as income does. I share my own story of raising two daughters almost eight years apart, in very different circumstances, and what I think they'll actually remember. Then we get practical, with a simple three-part framework to replace "am I doing enough?": - Provide: what do I genuinely want money to give my children, and what is enough? - Connect: what actually makes my children feel close to me? - Model: what are they learning by watching how I work, earn and rest? We also get into the default parent mental load, what to do if you genuinely love your work, and self-care that isn't just another thing to feel guilty about. This week's journal question: If I stopped measuring myself against an impossible idea of the perfect mum, what would a good enough, fulfilled and financially secure mother look like for me and my family? CHAPTERS 00:00 Mum guilt in a high-income household 02:17 The impossible job description 04:35 When providing becomes proof of love 06:53 The guilt spending trap 09:10 Why "what children need" keeps growing 11:37 The default parent and the mental load 12:55 My story: two daughters, two different starts 16:11 What children actually remember 18:36 What your kids learn by watching you work 20:53 Provide, connect, model: a practical framework 23:13 What if you actually love your work? 25:21 Self-care without the guilt 27:21 Good enough, not perfect RELATED EPISODES What Your Daughter Learns About Money by Watching You (Ep 62): https://youtu.be/eLAmc6fWXaE The Default Parent (Ep 63): https://youtu.be/Zgk7CgBHu2k Find out more about working with me: https://financialwingwoman.com #MumGuilt #MoneyMindset #WorkingMums Subscibe to the channel. Never miss another episode.  Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  6. Sep 23

    How to Make Your Budget Reflect Your Values and Build Lasting Financial Security

    How to Make Your Budget Reflect Your Values and Build Lasting Financial Security - Episode 65 of Breaking Financial Chains.  Are your finances really supporting the life you want, or just fueling the same old routine? In this episode of Breaking Financial Chains, discover how intentional budgeting can align your money with your true goals. Why your budget should reflect your actual values and priorities - The concept of the "North Star" in financial planning - Moving beyond restrictive budgeting to intentional financial direction - Recognising and managing lifestyle creep and its impact - A practical four-part framework to align spending with your future vision Chapters 00:00 Finding your financial North Star 04:40 Turning goals into financial plans 10:28 Defining financial success and "enough" 13:08 Creating Financial Resilience and Future Goals 18:07 Reevaluating Your Budget in Midlife 20:41 Big picture budgeting insights Subscibe to the channel. Never miss another episode.  Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  7. Sep 16

    5 Quiet Checks That Show How Financially Prepared You Really Are

    Your Financial Safety Plan. If your circumstances changed unexpectedly tomorrow, would you know where to start with your money? Tanya Ibberson walks through a calm, practical five-step plan for understanding your own financial picture, so that if life ever shifts, you're not starting from zero. This isn't about expecting the worst. It's the same thinking as insuring your home: quiet confidence, built one small step at a time.   In this episode: • Why not knowing makes money worries feel bigger than they are • Five steps: know your financial picture, know where your information lives, know what money you can access, build your people plan and build capability • The difference between privacy and secrecy when couples share money • Tanya's own experience, and what she wishes she'd known sooner  • The five-question "Could I" check-in you can do tonight   Your reflection question: If my circumstances changed unexpectedly tomorrow, which part of my financial life would I feel least prepared to handle? And what is one safe, practical step I could take to understand it better?   Chapters: 00:00 Welcome and what this episode is really about 01:10 Planning for what you hope never happens 02:25 Why this applies to everyone 02:50 Information isn't confrontation 03:30 Why not knowing makes everything feel bigger 04:50 Step 1: Know your own financial picture 06:25 Step 2: Know where your important information is 07:55 Step 3: Know what money you can access 09:25 Privacy vs secrecy in relationships 10:50 Tanya's story  14:10 Step 4: Build your people plan 15:20 Step 5: Build capability, not just cash 16:20 What if you don't like what you find? 18:25 The "Could I" check-in 19:40 An options plan, not a panic plan 22:15 Your reflection question Mentioned in this episode: • Tanya's episode on What If funds: https://youtu.be/ma3lykDr1Sc • How to Build Financial Options When You Feel Trapped: https://youtu.be/eXAV8-bTGIA • Checking your credit report: Experian, Equifax and TransUnion all let you see your own report. Checking your own file doesn't affect your credit score. Signing up does create an account with emails and app notifications, so think about who else can see your inbox or phone.   About Tanya: Tanya Ibberson is a Chartered Certified Accountant, financial confidence coach and a specialist in financial control and economic abuse. She knows from personal experience that financial knowledge alone doesn't protect you from it. Get in touch: tanya@financialwingwoman.com   If anything in this episode felt familiar, you don't have to work it out alone. UK support: • National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours) • Surviving Economic Abuse: survivingeconomicabuse.org • Women's Aid: womensaid.org.uk • Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24 hours) If you're worried someone else can see your device, consider using one they can't access. Many support websites have a quick-exit button.   This episode is general information, not personal financial or legal advice.   #MoneyConfidence #FinancialIndependence #MoneyMindset Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  8. Sep 9

    The Default Parent: The Money Load No One Sees

    Somebody in your house knows when the PE kit is due, which child has outgrown their shoes and when the school trip needs paying for. It probably isn’t both of you.   In this episode Tanya Ibberson looks at what that invisible work actually costs, and why it belongs in a conversation about money at all. The default parent doesn’t just do more tasks. They carry the mental database for the entire family, and your capacity to earn is tied to the capacity you have left.   What we cover:   · The difference between doing a task and owning one, and why "just tell me what needs doing" leaves the load exactly where it was · How small career compromises compound over ten or fifteen years, in the same way interest on debt does · "You’re better at it": responsibility disguised as a compliment · Who the default money parent is in your house, and why it isn’t always the higher earner · What changes in someone’s financial behaviour when they finally run out of capacity · The Family Capacity Audit, a five-step conversation you can run at home · Why spending £1,200 a year can be the financially sensible decision   This isn’t about keeping score and it isn’t about splitting everything down the middle. Fair doesn’t have to mean equal. It does have to be visible.   Chapters 00:00 The questions only one of you can answer 02:17 Why this is a money issue 04:36 Capacity is the cost nobody bills for 06:54 Two hours available is not two hours of thinking 09:10 Compounding works in both directions 11:27 "You’re better at it" and the trap inside it 13:50 Owning versus helping 16:16 What happens when the default parent burns out 18:33 The resentment nobody names 20:55 The Family Capacity Audit 25:32 When spending money is the sensible decision 27:54 The legacy you are actually leaving 29:51 Your reflective question A question to sit with this week. If every invisible task you carry for your family suddenly became visible, what would surprise you most? And what is one responsibility you could share, simplify or let go of?   Tell me in the comments. I read them.   Subscribe for a new episode every week. More from Tanya at financialwingwoman.com   ABOUT BREAKING FINANCIAL CHAINS   Breaking Financial Chains combines practical financial guidance with psychological insight to help you build financial confidence, whatever your starting point. Hosted by Tanya Ibberson, a chartered certified accountant with 28 years in practice and a financial coach. The show covers money mindset, financial confidence, family money conversations and rebuilding financial independence, including recovery from financial control and economic abuse. Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

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Are you tired of feeling anxious about money despite working hard? Do you avoid opening bank statements, feel trapped by financial decisions you don't understand, or struggle with someone else controlling your access to money? You're not alone. Join chartered accountant and financial coach Tanya Ibberson for Breaking Financial Chains – the podcast that combines practical financial guidance with psychological insights to help you transform your relationship with money and recognise when others are using money to control you. Unlike traditional finance podcasts that focus only on the numbers, Tanya understands that financial freedom isn't just about budgets and spreadsheets. It's about healing emotional barriers, breaking unhealthy patterns, recognising financial abuse, and overcoming the shame that keeps us stuck. Whether you're dealing with a controlling partner who monitors every penny or simply need to understand the warning signs of financial coercion, this podcast provides crucial insights for protection and recovery . Whether you're a successful professional who secretly struggles with money management, someone experiencing or recovering from financial control in a relationship, or ready to break free from generational money patterns, this podcast offers a safe, non-judgmental space to learn, heal and grow. Each week, through solo episodes, expert interviews and transformation stories, you'll discover practical tools and emotional support to help you build genuine financial confidence and independence. Because financial empowerment is possible for everyone – regardless of your starting point or past experiences. Remember: financial freedom isn't just about the numbers – it's about breaking the chains that hold you back from living a life aligned with your values.

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