Ghosted, Gagged and Gay!

Lonay
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  • Updated Weekly

A podcast about queer love gone wrong (and right). Real stories. Real chaos. All gay. The podcast where queer folks spill the tea on their past relationships. From messy breakups and ghostings that haunt us, to whirlwind love stories that left us gagged (in the best and worst ways), no tale is too spicy or too awkward. Want to share your story? Book a call with me: https://www.rainbowjourney.co/ghosted-gagged-gay

  1. Why Gay Dating Feels So Hard Now with Trevor Kuhn (Love Daddy)

    4d ago

    Why Gay Dating Feels So Hard Now with Trevor Kuhn (Love Daddy)

    Gay dating can feel harder than ever — endless swiping, mixed signals, “not ready” energy, and chemistry that burns hot but goes nowhere. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Trevor Kuhn (aka Love Daddy), a love, relationship, and confidence coach and matchmaker for gay and bi men, to break down why modern gay dating feels so exhausting…and what actually works if you want a real relationship. We talk about: The biggest reasons gay dating feels difficult right now (and the myths keeping men stuck)The inner patterns that sabotage connection: anxious chasing, avoidance, validation-seeking, and fear of being seenWhat to look for in the first 14 days of dating that predicts relationship potentialA simple question you can ask early that creates real intimacy (without oversharing)A rapid-fire “Keep / Cut / Clarify” game with real dating scenarios (ghosting, inconsistency, avoidance, and more)One practical action step you can take this week to date with more clarity, self-respect, and emotional safetyIf you’re tired of situationships and want something grounded, consistent, and real, this episode is your reset. 📍Connect with Trevor: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovedaddytrev/Website: https://www.lovedaddy.co/📍Connect with me: https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney

    35 min
  2. From Survival to Self-Love: Healing, Boundaries & Identity with Stef Vachon

    Jun 3

    From Survival to Self-Love: Healing, Boundaries & Identity with Stef Vachon

    What does it actually look like to move from survival mode to self-love as a queer man, especially after years of homophobia, bullying, and pressure to “be a certain kind of man”? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Stef Vachon, proud queer man, husband, father, keynote speaker, former international professional figure skater, and host of the Together Moving Forward podcast, for a grounded conversation about healing, identity, and the relationship patterns many queer men normalize without realizing the cost. We talk about: What “survival mode” can look like in queer life and relationshipsCommon patterns that keep queer men stuck (emotional shutdown, chasing unavailable people, fear of vulnerability)How masculinity rules and shame shape self-worth and connectionThe real work of building self-love, practices that help you feel safer in your body and in intimacyOne sign you’re healing (Do I need The Pill?)Why setting boundaries can feel terrifying and how to handle people’s reactions when you finally stop over-explaining, over-giving, or shrinkingIf you’ve been telling yourself you’re “fine” but your nervous system says otherwise, this episode is your reminder: healing is possible, boundaries are allowed, and you don’t have to earn love by abandoning yourself. Connect with Stef: Podcast: https://togethermovingforwardpodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/togethermovingforwardpodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@togethermovingforward If you would like to be on the show or book a free clarity call with me, all links are here: https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney

    36 min

  3. May 7

    Why Grindr Is Destroying Gay Men’s Self Esteem | Ghosting, Rejection & Gay Dating Trauma

    In this solo episode of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay, I unpack a shocking Grindr story that perfectly exposes the emotional damage hookup apps can create in the LGBTQ+ community. What started as hours of chemistry and connection ended in instant rejection, ghosting, blocking… and unexpected karma at a job interview. But this episode goes much deeper than one story. I talk about how apps like Grindr can slowly damage self esteem, create addiction to emotional rollercoasters, and condition toxic dating patterns through repeated rejection and validation seeking. We dive into: Why ghosting and blocking hit so deeplyHow repeated rejection rewires the subconscious mindThe psychology behind toxic attraction patternsWhy healthy connections can start feeling “boring”The mental health impact of gay hookup cultureHow LGBTQ+ people internalize rejectionWhy kindness matters more than ever in our communityI also share my personal experience with seeking validation on hookup apps, how it affected my confidence, and the healthier perspective I eventually developed around dating and rejection. If you’ve ever felt addicted to validation, emotionally drained by gay dating apps, or questioned your worth after rejection, this episode is for you. I’m Lonay, a gay relationship coach and Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner helping rainbow people build healthier relationships starting with the relationship they have with themselves. 🌈 Website: rainbowjourney.co📩 Story submissions: lonay@rainbowjourney.co Explore my world: https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney New episodes of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay explore queer love, hookup culture, relationships, dating psychology, healing, and mental health through real stories from the LGBTQ+ community.

    21 min

  4. Mar 2

    Internalized Homophobia: A Guide to Overcoming Shame and Self-Hatred

    Internalized homophobia doesn’t always look like self-hatred on the surface. Sometimes it’s the quiet flinch when you’re seen. The urge to hide your relationship. The pattern of chasing emotionally unavailable men. The “I’m fine” while your nervous system is bracing. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay (certified hypnotherapist + Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner) breaks down what internalized homophobia actually is, how it forms, and how it shows up in queer men’s dating lives, relationships, sex, body image, community, and even work or family spaces. We cover: Internalized homophobia vs. external homophobia vs. internalized shameCommon signs in dating: situationships, overgiving, pulling away after a good date, confusing chemistry with safetyHow shame impacts mental health (anxiety, depression, loneliness, perfectionism) and attachment patternsA practical healing path: naming shame, tracking triggers, challenging the inner critic, building real self-compassion, and practicing secure-love behaviorsWhat progress actually looks like (it’s quieter than you think)A simple 3-day mini plan to start shifting the patternIf you’re “out” but still feel stuck in shame, you’re not broken, you’re conditioned. And you can heal this. Book a free clarity call: https://rainbowjourney.co/book-a-call

    26 min

  5. Feb 16

    How to Find A Boyfriend (Gay)?

    If you’re a gay man looking for a healthy, long-term relationship, finding a boyfriend isn’t about trying harder, performing better, or fixing yourself into someone “more desirable.” It’s about clarity, emotional availability, and dating from a grounded place, not from fear, loneliness, or burnout. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay breaks down how to find a boyfriend as a gay man (and how to stop repeating the same situationships). Lonay talks about getting honest about what you actually want, setting relationship goals and non‑negotiables, using dating apps with boundaries, meeting people beyond hookup culture, approaching your crush, and building real intimacy without rushing. You’ll learn: How to tell if you truly want a boyfriend or just relief from lonelinessWhat intentional dating looks like (without controlling the outcome)Why chemistry without emotional safety isn’t connectionHow to handle rejection without collapsing or hardeningHow to spot red flags early and stop settlingWhy authenticity and clear communication are non‑negotiable for healthy gay relationshipsIf you’re tired of confusing connections and want something secure, consistent, and real, this episode is your reset. Visit my website for a free call, free guide, and to explore my program or be a guest on the show: rainbowjourney.co

    31 min

  6. Jan 27

    The Relationship Killers: What to Stop Doing in Gay & Queer Love

    Most gay men don’t fail at relationships because they don’t love enough, they fail because certain behaviors slowly kill emotional safety, attraction, and trust (often without realizing it). In this solo episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay breaks down the biggest DON’Ts that sabotage gay and queer relationships, like insults disguised as jokes, blame, competition, distrust, resentment, denial, threats, disrespect, grudges, criticism, secrecy, demands, ridicule, and more. Free resources:Download the free relationship guide: https://rainbowjourney.co/free-relationship-guideBook a free clarity call: https://rainbowjourney.co/book-a-callRead my blog: https://rainbowjourney.co/blog

    42 min

  7. Jan 15

    What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Available? Signs, Causes & How to Heal

    What does it actually mean to be emotionally available, beyond the Instagram buzzwords and therapy speak? In this episode, I break down emotional availability from a grounded, real-life perspective, especially within gay and queer dating dynamics. Because being “nice,” “loving,” or “spiritual” does not automatically mean you’re emotionally available. As a gay relationship coach, RTT practitioner, and someone who has been emotionally unavailable (and dated emotionally unavailable men), I talk about: What emotional availability really looks like in practice The green flags most people overlook The hidden ways emotional unavailability shows up (even when you think you’re healed) How trauma, shame, and attachment wounds shape our dating patterns This episode isn’t about blaming or labeling anyone. Emotional unavailability is usually a wound, not a personality flaw. But untreated wounds will sabotage intimacy. If you’ve ever wondered: “Am I emotionally available or just emotionally intense?” “Why do I keep attracting unavailable partners?” “Is emotional unavailability always a deal breaker?” This conversation will give you clarity and probably challenge you in the best way. 🎧 Listen now and if this resonates, check out my related article:https://rainbowjourney.co/post/what-does-it-mean-to-be-emotionally-available and my earlier episode about "Why Do We Fall for The Unavailable?": https://open.spotify.com/episode/2XBifXfTjP3vJKH3fyxpd0?si=0bWJ2ohqTByJjlaXaOj5eg To book a free clarity call with me or be my next guest, visit my website: rainbowjourney.co

    23 min
  8. From Dusty to Radiant: Confidence, Pleasure & Queer Dating with Erica Wiederlight

    12/12/2025

    From Dusty to Radiant: Confidence, Pleasure & Queer Dating with Erica Wiederlight

    Feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you’ve lost your sparkle after heartbreak? This week on Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay sits down with Erica Wiederlight, renowned confidence coach, speaker, and host of the top-rated podcast Welcome To The Wiederlife. Together, they explore how confidence, self-love, and pleasure can completely transform your queer dating experience, and help you break free from toxic patterns. You’ll discover: The biggest obstacles queer folks face when it comes to confidence in datingPractical steps to rebuild self-love after ghosting, rejection, or heartbreakHow to reconnect with your body and desires (even if you’ve felt shame or disconnect)Real ways to recognize burnout and set healthy boundariesHow perfectionism shows up in queer dating, and how to shift toward authentic pleasureOne small confidence-boosting practice you can start todayErica’s work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Galore, and NYFW. She offers a free book, From Perfectionist to Pleasure Expert, and a free 60-minute Mojo Makeover coaching session. Ready to go from dusty to radiant? Connect with Erica: www.wethelight.org | @wethelight_llc Book your free Mojo Makeover: https://wethelightschedule.as.me/ Free book: https://www.wethelight.org/subscribe Ready to transform your love story? Book a free call with Lonay: https://rainbowjourney.co/book-a-call Other links and resources: ⁠https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney⁠

    30 min
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About

A podcast about queer love gone wrong (and right). Real stories. Real chaos. All gay. The podcast where queer folks spill the tea on their past relationships. From messy breakups and ghostings that haunt us, to whirlwind love stories that left us gagged (in the best and worst ways), no tale is too spicy or too awkward. Want to share your story? Book a call with me: https://www.rainbowjourney.co/ghosted-gagged-gay

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