The Messy Middle

Tyler
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  • Spirituality
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The Messy Middle is a podcast about the work that begins after the day is over. Recorded late at night—after work, family, and responsibilities are handled—this is a space for honest reflection. Not advice. Not motivation. Just real thoughts from someone in it. I’m Tyler. I’ve spent most of my life in blue-collar environments, and this podcast is about life as it actually happens— the highs, the lows, and everything in between. This is The Messy Middle.

  1. 1d ago

    Unity Does Not Require Uniformity

    We've spent so much time arguing about who's right that we've forgotten how to treat each other right. Politics. Religion. Division. Fear. Judgment. Somewhere along the way, we've complicated being human to the point that kindness, curiosity, and understanding have become the exception instead of the rule. And I've had enough. In this episode of The Messy Middle, we're tackling the uncomfortable conversations we're supposedly not allowed to have. From the political theater surrounding Election Day to our understanding of God, we're exploring the contradictions between what we claim to believe and how we actually treat one another. And before anybody gets defensive, I'm not pointing fingers from a soapbox. I'm looking in the mirror, too. We'll talk about responding instead of reacting, choosing curiosity over judgment, loving people without abandoning boundaries, and taking personal responsibility for the world we're helping create. Oh, and we'll discuss God's cosmic clipboard, eight billion kids fighting over the last juice box, and why maybe, just maybe, we should stop taking ourselves so damn seriously. There is no magical cure. There is no perfect political party. And nobody is coming to do the work for us. Change starts with us. Myself included. I've spent enough time living in fear, frustration, and division. I'm choosing something different. This ship isn't sinking on my watch. Who's coming with me? Because unity does not require uniformity. Welcome to The Messy Middle. 🤙🏻

  2. Oct 23

    What Happens When You Take The Chance

    What happens when you stop worrying about what people think and start believing in yourself? In this episode of The Messy Middle, I share a personal experience that challenged one of my longest-held patterns: the fear of being vulnerable, putting myself out there, and asking for help. What started as taking a chance in a podcast competition became something much bigger. I discovered the power of connection, the generosity of people willing to support one another, and the freedom that comes from letting go of the outcome. I also reflect on the past 21 months of applying the principles of Break Patterns, Not People to my own life. Three books, a podcast, plenty of trial and error, and a whole lot of learning along the way. Not everything works out the way we plan. That's life. But when we recognize our patterns, take ownership, make intentional choices, act, and adjust along the way, incredible things can happen. You don't have to win to grow. You don't need permission to belong. And you don't have to know how the story ends to take the first step. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Believe in yourself. Take the chance. God's Got Me. And maybe it's time you believed He's got you, too. Welcome to the Messy Middle.

  3. Oct 14

    BPNP - INTEGRATE | Becoming Who You Choose to Be

    What if the biggest thing standing between you and the person you're becoming is the story you've been telling yourself about who you are? In this final episode of the Break Patterns, Not People series, we're bringing it all together. We're talking about the fear of putting ourselves out there, learning to ask for support, celebrating the small victories, and recognizing that sometimes the patterns holding us back are the ones we've unknowingly created ourselves. We'll explore what it really means to be the black sheep, why being different doesn't mean you don't belong, and how tribalism can keep us from seeing the complexity in ourselves and others. And yes, we're bringing Ted Lasso into the conversation, because sometimes three simple words can change the way we approach the world: Be curious, not judgmental. Integration isn't about perfection. It's about taking what we've learned and putting it into practice, again and again, even when we stumble. SEE the pattern. OWN your part. CHOOSE differently. ACT intentionally. And INTEGRATE what you've learned. Because progress doesn't always come in giant leaps. Sometimes it barely moves the needle. But it's moving. Welcome to the Messy Middle. Break patterns, not people. Including yourself.

  4. Oct 8

    BPNP - ACT | Interrupting the Loop

    In this deeply personal episode of Welcome to the Messy Middle, we're talking about ACT, the fourth step in the Break Patterns, Not People framework. Recognizing a pattern is one thing. Taking ownership and choosing a different path are important steps. But none of it changes anything until we actually do something differently. This week, I'm opening up about one of the hardest truths I've had to face: there was a time when I wasn't the father I wanted to be. I'll share how unresolved emotions, frustration, and old patterns affected my parenting, what it took to begin changing those behaviors, and how nearly two years of consciously choosing a different approach have transformed my relationship with my children. We'll explore the difference between reacting and responding, why change doesn't require perfection, and how the smallest decisions in ordinary moments can create lasting transformation. Because ACT isn't just something we do when life is easy. It's interrupting the loop when the old patterns show up, sometimes before we react, and sometimes after we've already gotten it wrong. You can't change what happened yesterday. But you can change what happens next. Break Patterns. Not People.

  5. Sep 30

    BPNP-CHOOSE | The Moment the Pattern Loses Its Vote

    You’ve seen the pattern. You’ve owned your part in it. Now comes the uncomfortable part: choosing differently. In this episode of Welcome to the Messy Middle, we move into CHOOSE, the point where awareness becomes a decision. I talk about why changing your life usually doesn’t happen through one giant, cinematic leap. It happens through smaller decisions that begin changing the trajectory of your path. The old pattern will still be there. The familiar response will still be available. But for the first time, it doesn’t automatically get your vote. We also talk about gratitude, the surprising emotional intelligence hiding inside heavy music, and why sometimes the loudest music carries the most vulnerable message. You don’t have to know exactly where the new road leads. Sometimes you just have to stop choosing the road you already know goes nowhere. SEE. OWN. CHOOSE. ACT. INTEGRATE. Break Patterns, Not People. lighthouseprojectcreative@gmail.com

  6. Sep 21

    BPNP- Own| The Part That Belongs To You

    Last week, we learned to SEE the pattern. This week, we have to do something harder: OWN our part in it. Not blame. Not shame. And not taking responsibility for what someone else did to you. Ownership means looking at the patterns you carry and asking: Why do I react this way? What was I trying to protect? And what part of this belongs to me now? Along the way, we’re talking about transformation, survival, and, somehow, axolotls. Because maybe the parts of yourself you’re trying to get rid of once served a purpose. Maybe those gills kept you alive in the water. But you don’t live there anymore. SEE the pattern. OWN your part. Then you can CHOOSE what happens next.

  7. Sep 16

    BPNP- See | The Pattern Hiding in Plain Sight

    You can’t change what you can’t see. We’re kicking off the five steps of Break Patterns, Not People with SEE: learning to recognize the loops running quietly underneath our reactions, relationships, habits, and choices. What if “this is just who I am” isn’t actually true? What if nothing is wrong with you? What if there’s simply a pattern you’ve been following for so long that you stopped noticing it? This week, we’re not trying to fix anything. We’re not blaming ourselves or anybody else. We’re just turning the lights on. Because before you can break the pattern, you have to see it.

  8. Sep 9

    Break Patterns, Not People Introduction

    What if the problem isn’t you? What if some of the behaviors, reactions, and cycles you’ve carried for years aren’t personality traits at all, but patterns that once served a purpose? This week begins a six-part Break Patterns, Not People series on The Messy Middle. Over the next six weeks, we’ll work through a simple framework for recognizing and changing the patterns that keep showing up in our lives: See. Own. Choose. Act. Integrate. We’re starting with the bigger picture: why patterns form, why they can be so difficult to recognize, and why understanding them isn’t the same thing as excusing them. Because the goal isn’t to break yourself trying to become someone better. Break the pattern. Keep the person. Next week: SEE.

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About

The Messy Middle is a podcast about the work that begins after the day is over. Recorded late at night—after work, family, and responsibilities are handled—this is a space for honest reflection. Not advice. Not motivation. Just real thoughts from someone in it. I’m Tyler. I’ve spent most of my life in blue-collar environments, and this podcast is about life as it actually happens— the highs, the lows, and everything in between. This is The Messy Middle.

Information

  • Creator
    Tyler
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Tyler
  • Show Website
    The Messy Middle