More than a hot flash - Midlife unfiltered

Stephanie Thibodeau
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Mental Health

More Than a Hot Flash – Midlife Unfiltered Midlife isn’t the end—it’s the perfect time for your next glow-up. I’m Stephanie Thibodeau, a weight loss and confidence coach, published author, and speaker helping women over 40 lose weight without restrictive diets, build body confidence, and create a life they love. Each week, I pull back the curtain on the real conversations about midlife—because we are so much more than our hot flashes. We’ll talk about food freedom, ditching diet culture, finding energy again, aging with confidence, and living unapologetically. Expect a mix of practical strategies, mindset shifts, and unfiltered truths—plus a few laughs—so you can feel amazing in your body and your life, no matter your age. Whether you want to lose the weight for good, reclaim your sparkle, or simply feel like you again, this podcast is your permission slip to do midlife your way. Because your best years? They’re happening right now.

  1. 3d ago

    Your body is not the enemy

    Your body is not the enemy💕What if you could want to change your body without hating the body you have right now? That’s what I’m talking about in this episode of More Than a Hot Flash – Midlife Unfiltered. For so many of us, our relationship with our bodies has been a constant battle. We criticize ourselves, compare ourselves, start another diet, promise ourselves we’ll “do better” on Monday, and convince ourselves that once our body changes, THEN we’ll feel confident, happy, sexy, or free. But what if we’ve had it backwards? I believe you can love and respect the body you have today and still want to make changes. You can want to lose weight, get stronger, have more energy, sleep better, or simply feel better in your body without making yourself the enemy. In this episode, I’m getting really honest about body image, midlife, self-criticism, and what it means to stop fighting yourself. I even share a recent experience from a photo shoot that reminded me just how differently we can see ourselves when we're looking through the lens of old beliefs and body criticism. We’re also talking about the connection between our bodies, our nervous systems, and the habits we've carried for years. Sometimes food, perfectionism, people-pleasing, staying busy, or trying to control everything aren't character flaws. They're coping strategies we've learned along the way. And instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?”, what if we started asking, “What is this habit doing for me?” That one question can change the entire conversation. In this episode, we talk about:Why your body is not the enemy—and why wanting change doesn't mean you hate yourself.Why you don't have to choose between body acceptance and wanting to feel different.How self-criticism and perfectionism can keep you stuck.Why your nervous system matters when you're trying to change old habits.Why you don't have to wait for a future body to start living your life.What body compassion actually looks like when you don't love everything about your body.Why progress is about so much more than the number on the scale.How midlife can change what matters to you—and make you less willing to put yourself last.Why sometimes the pants don't fit because the pants are the problem, not your body.What it means to stop abandoning yourself while you're working on becoming the woman you want to be.A few things I want you to think about after listening:Where are you waiting for a future version of your body before you give yourself permission to live? What would change if you replaced criticism with curiosity? What is one habit you've been judging yourself for that might actually be trying to meet a need? And what if, instead of waiting until Monday to “start over,” you simply made the next supportive choice? You don't have to hate yourself into health. You don't have to punish yourself into confidence. And you don't have to become a completely different woman to be worthy of loving the woman you are right now. You get to want more for yourself without believing you are not enough today. That's the real glow-up. It's not becoming someone else. It's learning how to stand beside yourself instead of constantly fighting against yourself. Give yourself Permission to THRIVE with my free Permission Slip. You can start creating the life you love right now while you change the body you have💕

  2. Oct 13

    The Woman Beneath the Expectations

    For most of our lives, there’s always somebody who needs something from us. Our kids. Our partners. Our parents. Our jobs. Our friends. Our clients. And somewhere along the way, we can become really good at knowing who everyone else needs us to be… while losing touch with who we actually are. Because maybe one of the biggest parts of midlife isn’t just realizing that you’re changing. Maybe it’s realizing that you don’t want to keep being everything to everyone anymore. If you listened to my episode, The Midlife Identity Shift No One Warned You About, this conversation takes that idea one step further. What happens when you start asking: Who am I when nobody needs anything from me? For years, I was the person who said yes. And looking back, I can see that I wasn't just doing too much. I had become someone who believed being useful was part of being valuable. That realization has changed the way I look at my time, my boundaries, and my identity. Because sometimes we're not actually afraid to say no. We're afraid of what someone might think about us when we do. What if they think I'm selfish? What if they're disappointed? What if they don't understand? What if they say, “You've changed”? Here's the thing: Maybe I have changed. And maybe that's not a bad thing. Midlife has given me a much clearer understanding of what I want my life to feel like. I don't want to fill every minute just because I can. I don't want to explain every decision. I don't want to automatically say yes because I feel obligated. I want to ask myself what matters to me now. What do I want more of? What do I want less of? What am I curious about? What have I been putting off because someone else might not understand? And perhaps most importantly: What would I choose if I wasn't making the decision based on who everyone else needed me to be? This doesn't mean abandoning the people you love. It doesn't mean becoming selfish or stopping caring about other people's feelings. It means learning that you can care about someone else's feelings without making their feelings responsible for your decisions. You can love people and still have boundaries. You can show up for others and still show up for yourself. You can be generous without constantly overextending yourself. And you can become a different version of yourself without apologizing for it. In this episode, we're talking about: The roles we collect throughout our lives and what happens when those roles changeHow being needed can become part of our identityWhy saying no can feel like we're disappointing peopleThe fear of being seen as selfish when we start prioritizing ourselvesWhy you don't have to explain every decision you makeWhat it means to be the keeper of your own peaceHow to start figuring out what YOU actually wantWhy becoming yourself doesn't mean abandoning everyone elseHow one small choice can begin rebuilding self-trust.Click here to get ➡️ Your Permission SlipI give myself permission to be a woman who is more than what she does for everyone else. ✨Try something new. ✨Choose yourself in one small way. Because every time you make a choice that honors who you are now, you're collecting evidence that you can trust yourself. Who would I be—and what would I choose—if I stopped making decisions based on who everyone else needs me to be?💕

  3. Oct 6

    When life gets hard, old patterns get LOUD

    Stress, Boundaries & the Midlife Pattern of “I’ve Got This”Have you ever had one of those seasons where everything feels like A LOT? Your to-do list is a mile long. Your brain is running 47 tabs at once. Somebody needs something from you, something breaks, plans change—and suddenly even the little things feel like emergencies. And your immediate response is: “I’ve got this.” Except…do you? In this episode of More Than a Hot Flash – Midlife Unfiltered, I’m talking about what happens when stress brings our old patterns right back to the surface. Because here’s the thing I’ve been learning: personal growth doesn’t mean you never get overwhelmed again. It doesn’t mean you never get triggered, never lose your patience, or suddenly become the woman who has everything figured out. Sometimes growth simply means you recognize the pattern sooner. You pause. You get curious. And instead of automatically doing what you’ve always done, you choose a different response. I share some of my own experience with grief, overwhelm, family responsibilities, work, and that deeply ingrained habit of thinking, “I should be able to handle this myself.” We’re also talking about why asking for help can be so uncomfortable for women who have spent years being the capable one—and why sometimes asking for help is actually the growth moment. I’ll share a few simple things that have helped me when my brain is overloaded, including getting everything OUT of my head and onto paper, separating what is truly urgent from what just feels urgent, and breaking big, chaotic situations into smaller, manageable steps. And, of course, we’re bringing it back to my A.I.M. Method: Alignment: What does the woman I’m becoming need from me right now? Intention: What is the next right step? Momentum: Did that step actually help? If not, what can I adjust? Because sometimes the answer isn't to push harder. Sometimes the answer is to slow down, ask for help, change the plan, or admit that you don't have to carry everything by yourself. In This Episode, We Talk About:Why stress can bring old beliefs, wounds, and patterns back to the surface—even when you've done a LOT of personal growth.Why midlife women can get stuck in the “I’ve got this” pattern.How grief and loss can make overwhelm and asking for help even harder.Why a long to-do list can sometimes calm your brain instead of making things worse.How to separate what is actually urgent from what simply feels urgent.Why an overwhelmed brain isn't always the best place to make big decisions.The difference between being capable and believing you have to do everything yourself.Why asking for help isn't weakness—and why one person saying “no” doesn't mean you don't deserve support.How breaking big problems into smaller steps can help you create capacity.Why personal growth isn't about having fewer problems; it's about responding to them differently.How the A.I.M. Method can help you make clearer decisions when life feels chaotic.Why your next level may require a new relationship with yourself—not a harder push to do more.I would love to hear from you! Send me an email Stephanie@essentialsoulcoaching.com or find me on Instagram and tell me what you have noticed. I would love to support you and cheer you on ✨💕

  4. Sep 29

    The Holiday Season Starts Before Thanksgiving

    When did the holidays become another thing we have to perform? The perfect decorations. The perfect gifts. The perfect family traditions. The perfectly packed calendar. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, we can forget to actually enjoy the holidays. In this episode we’re talking about how to create a holiday season that feels calmer, more meaningful, and more aligned with the woman you are today. Because you don’t have to wait until Thanksgiving—or December—to decide what kind of holiday you want. You can decide now. One year, I stayed up until 5 AM wrapping “Santa gifts.” We had bought my girls entire bedroom suites, moved the furniture into the house, wrapped it, slept for about an hour, and then spent Christmas Day putting everything together. And let me tell you… That Christmas sucked. It looked like we had gone all out. But behind the scenes? I was exhausted, stressed, and completely over it. That experience made me realize that sometimes we get so caught up in creating the perfect holiday that we forget to ask ourselves a much more important question: “Does this actually feel good?” As I’ve gotten older, my relationship with the holidays has changed. I’d rather have the meal. The conversation. The games. The laughter. The movie. The memories. I would rather have experiences than more stuff. And maybe you’re feeling that shift too. In this episode, we’ll talk about: Why the holiday season can start feeling overwhelming before Thanksgiving even arrivesHow to decide how you actually want your holidays to feelWhy traditions are allowed to change as your family and priorities changeMoving from perfection and performance to presenceChoosing experiences and connection over more stuffSetting boundaries around commitments, traditions, and expectationsWhy saying no can actually create more room for what mattersHow making decisions early can help reduce last-minute stressSimple ways to create a holiday season that aligns with your valuesMost importantly, I want you to remember this: You are allowed to create a holiday that fits your life now. You don't have to recreate the holidays you had when your kids were little. You don't have to keep doing something simply because you've always done it. And you don't have to make everyone else happy at the expense of your own peace. And you don't have to change everything. Maybe your one small choice is declining an invitation. Maybe it's deciding you're not hosting this year. Maybe it's changing a tradition. Maybe it's putting your phone down and actually being present for the conversation happening right in front of you. Whatever it is, start there. Because one small decision can change the way you experience the entire season. Your Permission SlipI give myself permission to create a holiday that feels good instead of one that simply looks good. How do you want this holiday season to feel—and what is one small decision you can make now to help create that feeling? You don't have to do the holidays perfectly. You just have to make them yours. Listen to this episode of More Than a Hot Flash: Midlife Unfiltered, and then send it to a woman who might need permission to slow down, simplify, and enjoy the season a little more.

  5. Sep 22

    Permission to have a different holiday season

    Have you ever found yourself trying to recreate a holiday that looked a certain way years ago—even though your life, your family, and YOU have changed? Maybe the traditions that once felt magical now feel stressful. Maybe you’re saying yes to every invitation, trying to make everyone happy, or carrying the pressure to make the holidays look perfect. Or maybe you’re realizing that what you want now is something much simpler: more time together, fewer obligations, meaningful memories, and a little room to breathe. In this episode of More Than a Hot Flash: Midlife Unfiltered, we’re talking about giving yourself permission to create a holiday season that fits the woman you are today. Because here’s the truth: You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to change your traditions. You are allowed to create a holiday that feels good—not just one that looks good. I’ll share some personal stories about how my relationship with the holidays has changed over the years. When my girls were little, spending a lot of money on gifts and seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning felt like the best kind of magic. But now? I find myself craving experiences more than things. I get more excited about sharing a meal, playing games, watching a movie, laughing, and making memories than buying something that might not matter six months from now. Highlights: In this episode, we’ll talk about: Why it’s okay to change holiday traditions as your family evolvesThe pressure to make everything picture-perfectHow to decide what you are—and are not—available forWhy setting boundaries ahead of time can make the holidays feel lighterHow saying no can be an act of self-respectThe difference between creating meaningful memories and performing the perfect holidayWhat life’s difficult seasons can teach us about resilienceHow to make room for rest, presence, and the things that matter most nowI’ll also share a little about the woman I’m becoming and what some of life’s hardest moments have taught me. Five years ago, Freddy’s mom and my dad passed away just 11 days apart. I had spent years being my dad’s primary caretaker, and that season brought up a lot of complicated emotions—love, guilt, resentment, grief, and exhaustion. I had no idea how strong and resilient I would become because of those hard days. Not in spite of them. Because of them. Those experiences helped me realize that I am the keeper of my own peace. I get to honor my time, my feelings, and my priorities. I don’t have to keep filling every minute, explaining every decision, or saying yes simply because someone expects me to. And neither do you. This holiday season, you don’t have to recreate the past. You don’t have to keep traditions that no longer fit. You don’t have to make everyone happy. You can choose what matters to you now. Your Permission SlipI give myself permission to create a holiday that feels good instead of one that simply looks good. Start small. Choose one tradition to simplify. Set one boundary. Say no to one thing that drains you. Make space for one thing that brings you joy. Because one small decision can change the way you experience the entire season. Download my Permission Slip Exercise if you need a little more help! Your Reflection QuestionWhat is ONE thing you can decide now that would make the holidays feel lighter? You don’t have to change everything. You just have to give yourself permission to make one choice that honors the woman you are becoming.

  6. Sep 15

    Confidence before you feel it

    Have you ever had an idea, a dream, or something you really wanted to do… but you kept waiting until you felt more confident? Maybe you wanted to start a business, make a change in your health, speak up, try something new, or finally do something just for YOU. But the little voice in your head kept saying: “I’m not ready yet.” “What if I fail?” “Who am I to do this?” “Maybe I should wait until I feel more confident.” Girl, I get it. I’ve had plenty of moments in my life when I wanted to do something but didn’t feel completely ready. And if I’ve learned anything along the way, it’s this: Confidence doesn’t always come before you take action. Sometimes, confidence is built because you took the action. The truth about confidence... For so long, I thought I needed to feel confident before I could do certain things. Before I could put myself out there. Before I could try something new. Before I could make a change. But the truth is, if we wait until we feel completely confident, we might be waiting forever. Especially as women in midlife, we can get really good at putting ourselves last. We have careers, families, responsibilities, and a million things pulling at our attention. We tell ourselves we’ll get to our dreams when things settle down. When we lose the weight. When the kids need us less. When we have more time. When we finally feel like we know what we’re doing. But what if the life you want is waiting on you to take one small step before you feel ready? What I’m sharing in this episodeI’m getting personal about the moments when I’ve had to move forward even when I didn’t have all the answers. Because I’m not sharing this from a place of having it all figured out. I’m sharing it as a woman who has learned that you can be nervous, uncertain, and still take the next step. We’ll talk about: ✨ Why waiting until you feel confident can keep you stuck. ✨ The difference between being unprepared and simply feeling uncomfortable. ✨ How taking small actions can help you build self-trust. ✨ Why you don’t need to have the entire plan figured out before you begin. ✨ How to stop letting fear, self-doubt, or the opinions of others make your decisions for you. ✨ What it looks like to give yourself permission to try, even if you might fail. ✨ How to start becoming the woman who follows through on the things she says she wants. You don’t have to feel readyHere’s something I want you to remember: You can want more for your life and still love the life you have today. You can be grateful for where you are and still want to grow. You can be scared and still be brave. You can have a history of starting over and still decide that this time, you’re going to do things differently. And you don’t have to do it all at once. Sometimes confidence looks like making the appointment. Sending the email. Signing up for the class. Speaking up in the room. Or simply deciding that your dreams deserve a little space on your calendar. The goal isn’t to become a woman who never doubts herself. The goal is to become a woman who trusts herself enough to take action, even when doubt shows up. Let's Connect! Join my weekly NEWSLETTER If you have a topic you think I should cover, email me Stephanie@essentialsoulcoaching.com Your next chapter doesn’t require you to feel completely confident. It just requires you to take the next step.

  7. Sep 8

    The Boundary You're Afraid to Set

    Boundaries, People Pleasing & Protecting Your TimeHow often do you say yes when you really want to say no? For years, I said yes to just about everything. Not necessarily because I wanted to—but because I felt like I should. There was always something else I could be doing, someone who needed something, or a project I could take on. And when I look back, I realize I've been doing this for a very long time. I started babysitting at 12. In high school, I was working at a movie rental store AND babysitting. Later, I was working 55+ hours a week and still finding ways to take on more. Some of it was about making money. Some of it was duty. Some of it was simply being the person who said, “Sure, I can do that.” But there was a cost. I gave away my rest. I gave away time with my girls. And sometimes, I gave away a whole lot of my sanity. These days, I'm learning that protecting my time isn't selfish. It's necessary. In this episode, we're talking about what boundaries really look like in midlife—and why saying no doesn't mean you don't love someone, care about them, or want to be there for them. I share one of the boundaries I've created around Sundays and why protecting that time has become so important to me. We also talk about the guilt that can show up after you set a boundary, especially when you're used to being the one who makes everything work for everyone else. Because here's something I'm finally learning: I can care about what other people think and still make decisions that are right for me. I am the keeper of my own peace. And sometimes a boundary doesn't have to be a big confrontation. Sometimes it's simply putting something on your calendar and deciding that this time matters. In this episode, we'll talk about:Why boundaries are about deciding what you're available for—not controlling other people.How people pleasing and a sense of duty can quietly take over your calendar.The hidden cost of always being available.Why saying no isn't the same thing as rejecting someone.My Sunday boundary and why I'm learning to protect downtime.Why you don't have to explain every “no.”How to recognize when you're saying yes because you want to versus because you feel obligated.Why you are allowed to care about other people's feelings without being responsible for them.How to start creating boundaries without trying to change your entire life overnight.Your challenge this week:Don't try to overhaul your calendar. Just choose one small no. One thing you can decline. One obligation you can reconsider. One piece of downtime you can protect. And then notice how it feels to honor your own time. Your Permission Slip: (get your free PDF here)“No is a complete sentence. I am allowed to protect my time without explaining myself into exhaustion.” And here's the question I want you to sit with: Where are you saying yes because you want to—and where are you saying yes because you feel like you have to? You don't have to change everything today. Start with one small choice. Because one small choice can build confidence, create momentum, and remind you that you can trust yourself. If this episode resonates with you, share it with another woman who might need permission to protect her time, too. Email me Stephanie@essentialsoulcoaching.com and tell me waht you are going to say no to this week!

  8. Sep 1

    5 Things I have learned in a year of podcasting

    One year. Dozens of episodes. A whole lot of pressing “record” and figuring things out as I went. When I started More Than a Hot Flash: Midlife Unfiltered, I knew I wanted to create a space where we could have honest conversations about midlife. What I didn't realize was how much I would learn about myself in the process. So, for this special one-year reflection, I'm sharing five things podcasting has taught me—and I have a feeling these lessons might have very little to do with podcasting and a whole lot to do with life too. Because sometimes the thing we're learning while we're doing the thing is actually the transformation. And as always, I'm bringing it back to my AIM Method: Alignment, Intention, Momentum. 1. Done is better than perfect. There were plenty of times I could have waited until everything was just right. But eventually, I had to hit record. I've learned that perfection can keep us stuck, while taking imperfect action creates momentum. 2. Things are often scarier before you actually do them. The fear, the “what ifs,” and the stories in our heads can make something feel enormous. But sometimes you just have to take the first step to discover that the thing you were afraid of wasn't nearly as scary as you imagined. 3. Some things take longer than you expect. Building a podcast—and everything that comes with it—hasn't always happened on the timeline I imagined. Instead of seeing that as failure, I've learned to slow down, learn what I need to learn, manage my time better, and keep moving. 4. You don't have to be camera-ready to have something worth saying. I knew video was important, but I didn't always want to be perfectly dressed, perfectly made up, or perfectly prepared. I've learned that my message matters more than whether I look perfect. I want to show up heart-ready, not camera-ready. 5. You can give yourself permission to share, learn, and not have all the answers. Some of the most meaningful episodes have been the ones where I've allowed myself to be vulnerable and share things that weren't necessarily comfortable. I've learned that authenticity doesn't mean having everything figured out. Sometimes it means being willing to say, “I'm still figuring this out.” These aren't just lessons I've learned from podcasting. They're lessons I think we can use in midlife, business, relationships, health, dreams, and everyday life. Your AIM ChallengeThink about something you've been putting off. Maybe you've been waiting until you're more confident. More organized. More successful. More “ready.” Now ask yourself: ALIGNMENT: What do I really want? INTENTION: How do I want to show up? MOMENTUM: What's one small thing I can do this week? You don't have to figure out the whole path. You just have to take the next step. Today, I'm giving myself—and hopefully you—permission to keep going. Get my Permission Slip PDF and get guide to help you figure that out! Help me celebrate one year!If More Than a Hot Flash has made you laugh, think, cry, feel seen, or reminded you that you're not alone in this midlife journey, I'd love for you to rate and review the podcast. Your review helps more women find these conversations. And if there's a woman in your life who needs to hear this message, share this episode with her. Finally, grab my free Permission Slip PDF and write down the thing you've been waiting to do. Then ask yourself: What would I do if I stopped waiting to feel ready?

See All (61)

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

More Than a Hot Flash – Midlife Unfiltered Midlife isn’t the end—it’s the perfect time for your next glow-up. I’m Stephanie Thibodeau, a weight loss and confidence coach, published author, and speaker helping women over 40 lose weight without restrictive diets, build body confidence, and create a life they love. Each week, I pull back the curtain on the real conversations about midlife—because we are so much more than our hot flashes. We’ll talk about food freedom, ditching diet culture, finding energy again, aging with confidence, and living unapologetically. Expect a mix of practical strategies, mindset shifts, and unfiltered truths—plus a few laughs—so you can feel amazing in your body and your life, no matter your age. Whether you want to lose the weight for good, reclaim your sparkle, or simply feel like you again, this podcast is your permission slip to do midlife your way. Because your best years? They’re happening right now.

Information