The Empowered Leader Podcast

Margaret Williams, MS, ACC

The Empowered Leader Podcast is for marginalized women leaders who are ready to heal what power systems took from them, so they can lead with Freedom, Influence, and Authority. Hosted by Margaret Williams, MS, ACC, a Certified Executive Leadership and Team Coach, I/O psychologist, and retired Army civilian with 39 years of service, each episode goes beneath surface-level leadership advice. Through candid conversations with guests and live sessions recorded on Substack, we name the real tensions of leading inside systems not designed for you: visibility without backlash, authority without permission, and using your voice without erasing yourself. You'll leave each episode with a clearer sense of what's personal, what's systemic, and where your voice and your choices still hold power, because good leaders need healing to become their best and to help others rise. substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com

  1. 2d ago

    What You Buried Still Leads You with Beth Shekinah

    Opening * Frame for today: what we bury does not go away. It shapes how we lead. This season of loss is the time to bring it into the light. * Welcome Beth back. She was here on October 7 for “A Shaman’s View.” * For the men watching: “If you’re a man, think of your wife, your mother, your daughter, your sister as we talk today.” Bio: Beth Shekinah Beth Shekinah is a shaman and holistic transformation facilitator who writes Awakening Soul Path on Substack. She has worked as a healing practitioner and spiritual guide for 30 years. In her own words: “It is a time when we naturally experience increased feelings of loss, grief, and sadness.” “It is in embracing our hidden and uncomfortable spaces with love and compassion that we ultimately begin to restore ourselves to a sense of wholeness, and embodiment of the full essence of who we are.” “It wasn’t until I was willing to take off the mask, lay down my head and shed the tears of this lifetime that the healing began.” “Becoming conscious of our feelings of separation and healing through them is the path back to source and to reclaiming the essence of who we truly are.” Social Media Links: Website: https://bethshekinah.com Her shamanic and holistic transformation work. Instagram: https://instagram.com/beth.shekinah. Posts as @beth.shekinah. Audience Question “What have you buried that is still leading you? Name it this week, and take one small step to bring it into the light.” Closing Quote “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” (Jung, 1938, p. 93) Key Research * Seasonal depression hits women harder. In an Alaska study, women were more likely than men to experience seasonal affective disorder. Earlier studies put the ratio of women to men between 2.7 to 1 and 9 to 1 (Drew et al., 2021). * Caregiving falls on women. Three in 5 U.S. caregivers are women, and on average, caregivers are 51 years old (Wynn, 2025). * Burnout at the top. Six in 10 senior-level women report frequently feeling burned out, compared with half of men at their level (LeanIn.Org & McKinsey & Company, 2025). * The depression gap. In the U.S. from 2021 to 2023, depression was more common in females (16.0%) than in males (10.1%) (Brody & Hughes, 2025). References Brody, D. J., & Hughes, J. P. (2025). Depression prevalence in adolescents and adults: United States, August 2021–August 2023 (NCHS Data Brief No. 527). National Center for Health Statistics. https://doi.org/10.15620/cdc/174579 Drew, E. M., Hanson, B. L., & Huo, K. (2021). Seasonal affective disorder and engagement in physical activities among adults in Alaska. International Journal of Circumpolar Health, 80(1), 1906058. https://doi.org/10.1080/22423982.2021.1906058 Jung, C. G. (1938). Psychology and religion. Yale University Press. LeanIn.Org, & McKinsey & Company. (2025). Women in the workplace 2025. https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace Wynn, P. (2025, July 24). Caregiving crisis in America keeps growing. AARP. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/caregiving-in-us-survey-2025/ Our First Live: A Shaman’s View (October 7, 2026) Replay on Substack: https://substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/a-shamans-view-embracing-interconnectedness Synopsis: * Core idea: disconnection is the greatest disease of our times, and connection is the medicine, with ourselves, others, the natural world, and source. * Work and authenticity: many people heal and grow in their personal lives, then put on a work facade and disconnect. Good leaders bring their authentic selves and encourage the same in their teams. * A shaman’s view: everything has life force, all of life is connected in the web of life, and we turn toward difficulty with compassion to find our inner wisdom. * Soul loss and soul retrieval: trauma, loss, and stress can leave us cut off from parts of ourselves. Signs include numbness, feeling stuck, anxiety, and low self-worth. * Patterns we carry: repeating patterns can come through our ancestry and, in Beth’s practice, from past lives (karmic constellations). * Universal feelings: unworthiness and feeling like a fraud are part of everyone’s journey, so no one is alone in them. * Practices: Beth led a grounding breath and closed with a loving-kindness (metta) meditation. * Unfinished threads: Beth offered to return for a session on karmic constellations, and previewed a topic for The Empowered Leader: the inner work of outer work. * Bridge into today: last time, connection was the medicine. Today we look at what we bury that keeps us disconnected. Thank you to Mandy Ohman, EG, Ms. Maine, Caroline Malone everyone who tuned into my live video with Beth Shekinah 🪷 ! Join me for my next live video in the app. Join Me: Want to be a guest on one of my Substack Live conversations? Book a Substack Live Pre-Interview on Zoom. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

  2. 3d ago

    Situational Awareness with Chris Resist

    Opening * Frame for today: noticing what’s really happening around us, and knowing what to do once we see it. For many women, that awareness never switches off. * For the men watching: “If you’re a man, think of your wife, your mother, your daughter, your sister as we talk today.” Chris Resists: Bio Chris Resists writes Unimpeachable on Substack and co-hosts the Transcending Decency podcast with Mel Watz. In his words: “Critical thinker. Advocate. Anti-Fascist. Husband. Dad of 4. Gamer. Geek. GenX.” (Resists, n.d., homepage description). Key Research * The safety gap. In the U.S., 58% of women feel safe walking alone at night, compared with 84% of men (Gallup, 2025). * Fear close to home. 53% of U.S. women would be afraid to walk alone at night within a mile of home, compared with 26% of men (Gallup, 2023). * Planning around daylight. 87% of women prefer to go out during daylight, compared with 73% of men (Gallup, 2023). * A lifetime of harassment. 81% of women and 43% of men have experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime (Stop Street Harassment, 2018). * Unwanted advances. 59% of women and 27% of men say they have personally received unwanted sexual advances (Pew Research Center, 2018). Audience Question “What’s one thing you’ll notice differently the next time you walk into a room?” Closing Quote “Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” (Baldwin, 1962, p. BR11) References Baldwin, J. (1962, January 14). As much truth as one can bear. The New York Times Book Review, BR11. Gallup. (2023). Personal safety fears at three-decade high. https://news.gallup.com/poll/544415/personal-safety-fears-three-decade-high.aspx Gallup. (2025). Global safety report [Press release]. PR Newswire. https://www.prnewswire.com/in/news-releases/global-safety-ratings-reach-record-high-302560123.html Stop Street Harassment. (2018). 2018 national study on sexual harassment and assault. https://stopstreetharassment.org/our-work/2018-national-sexual-abuse-report/ Thank you Mandy Ohman, EG, Millie Jones-Cowles, Ziggy, Tig Manzueta NeuroDivergent Hodgepodge, Natasha K., and many others for tuning into my live video with Chris Resists! Join me for my next live video in the app. Join Me: Want to be a guest on one of my Substack Live conversations? Book a Substack Live Pre-Interview on Zoom. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Situational Awareness with Chris Resist
  3. 3d ago

    Gather with Cryn Johannsen

    Opening * Frame for today: what brings people together, from a shared table to a shared page, and why women so often are the ones who do the gathering. * For the men watching: “If you’re a man, think of your wife, your mother, your daughter, your sister as we talk today.” Bio: Cryn Johannsen: Bio Cryn Johannsen writes Cryn’s Substack, where she reviews books “on history and philosophy, as well as current events” (Johannsen, n.d., homepage description), and Gather, her food and baking section. She is the founder and editor-in-chief of Ruminations, a literary magazine launching soon. Key Research * Women turn to friends. 54% of women say they would turn to a friend for emotional support, compared with 38% of men (Pew Research Center, 2025). * Support given and received. 41% of women received emotional support from a friend in the past week, compared with 21% of men (Survey Center on American Life, 2021). * Saying it out loud. 49% of women told a friend they loved them in the past week. Only 25% of men did (Survey Center on American Life, 2021). * Staying in touch. 38% of women talk on the phone or video chat with a close friend at least a few times a week, compared with 32% of men (Pew Research Center, 2025). * Midlife loneliness. 20% of U.S. women aged 35 to 54 reported feeling lonely, higher than the 14% median for women that age across wealthy nations (Gallup, 2025). Audience Question (use anytime) “Who will you gather with this week, and what will you bring to the table?” Closing Quote “It is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence.” (Lorde, 1977/2001, p. 305) References Gallup. (2025). Younger men in the U.S. among the loneliest in West. https://news.gallup.com/poll/690788/younger-men-among-loneliest-west.aspx Johannsen, C. (n.d.). Cryn’s Substack [Substack publication]. Johannsen, C. (2026, October 21). Supporting Black artists: Tasha Webster. Cryn’s Substack. Kaimataara. (2026, October 28). Law and order are neither: Why law and order are counterproductive and why a societal principle of obligations is a better alternative. Ruminations. Lorde, A. (2001). The transformation of silence into language and action. In J. Ritchie & K. Ronald (Eds.), Available means: An anthology of women’s rhetoric(s) (pp. 302–305). University of Pittsburgh Press. (Original work published 1977) Pew Research Center. (2025, January 16). Men, women and social connections. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/where-men-and-women-turn-for-emotional-support-and-social-connection/ Survey Center on American Life. (2021). The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/ Thank you Lisa Joy 🏳️‍🌈, Ms.Yuse, Fat News Daily 📰, Laura Babec, Kaimataara, and many others for tuning into my live video with Cryn Johannsen! Join me for my next live video in the app. Join Me: Want to be a guest on one of my Substack Live conversations? Book a Substack Live Pre-Interview on Zoom. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Gather with Cryn Johannsen
  4. 6d ago

    Women Empowerment with Zuri Stevens

    Opening * Frame for today: what women’s empowerment really means when you are the one most often left out of the room, and what changes when Black women are in charge. * For the men watching: “If you’re a man, think of your wife, your mother, your daughter, your sister as we talk today.” Bio: Zuri Stevens Zuri Stevens, “a sociologist without borders” (Stevens, n.d.-a, “Why Subscribe?” section), writes We Need A Black Woman In Charge on Substack for readers who want “another point of view... from a Black woman who has lived in North America, Africa, Europe and Asia” (Stevens, n.d.-a, “Why Subscribe?” section). Her premise: “when Black women are in charge, the world is a much better place” (Stevens, n.d.-b, homepage description). As a Black woman, she writes, she “can never afford to be that angry” (Stevens, 2026, subtitle). Social Media Links: We Need A Black Woman In Charge (Substack): Her main publication. X (Twitter): https://twitter.com/baselpoet. Posts as @baselpoet. Key Research * The first step up is hardest for Black women. For every 100 men promoted to manager last year, 93 women are promoted, but only 60 Black women (LeanIn.Org & McKinsey & Company, 2025). * Commitment is slipping. 67% of companies call diversity a high priority, down from 90% in 2021. About two in ten have stopped or scaled back bias training, and a similar share have cut diversity investment (LeanIn.Org & McKinsey & Company, 2025). * Sponsorship gap. 31% of entry-level women have a sponsor, compared with 45% of men at their level (LeanIn.Org & McKinsey & Company, 2025). * The anger penalty. In two experiments, Black women who expressed anger at work were rated as worse performers and weaker leaders than angry white women, Black men, or white men. Observers blamed her personality (Motro et al., 2022). * Code-switching costs. Black employees who code-switch are consistently seen as more professional. The authors argue the effort is draining and the pressure itself reflects bias (McCluney et al., 2021). * The glass cliff. Women and people of color are more likely to be promoted to the top during a crisis, when the risk of failure is highest. Later studies show mixed results, so present it as a pattern, not a rule (Cook & Glass, 2014; Ryan & Haslam, 2005). Audience Question “What’s one way you’ll make room for a Black woman’s voice, or your own, this week?” Closing Quote “My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.” (Lorde, 1977/2001, p. 302) References Cook, A., & Glass, C. (2014). Above the glass ceiling: When are women and racial/ethnic minorities promoted to CEO? Strategic Management Journal, 35(7), 1080–1089. https://doi.org/10.1002/smj.2161 LeanIn.Org, & McKinsey & Company. (2025). Women in the workplace 2025. https://leanin.org/report/women-in-the-workplace/ Lorde, A. (2001). The transformation of silence into language and action. In J. Ritchie & K. Ronald (Eds.), Available means: An anthology of women’s rhetoric(s) (pp. 302–305). University of Pittsburgh Press. (Original work published 1977) McCluney, C. L., Durkee, M. I., Smith, R. E., II, Robotham, K. J., & Lee, S. S.-L. (2021). To be, or not to be…Black: The effects of racial codeswitching on perceived professionalism in the workplace. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 97, Article 104199. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.104199 Motro, D., Evans, J. B., Ellis, A. P. J., & Benson, L., III. (2022). Race and reactions to women’s expressions of anger at work: Examining the effects of the “angry Black woman” stereotype. Journal of Applied Psychology, 107(1), 142–152. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000884 Ryan, M. K., & Haslam, S. A. (2005). The glass cliff: Evidence that women are over-represented in precarious leadership positions. British Journal of Management, 16(2), 81–90. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8551.2005.00433.x Stevens, Z. (n.d.-a). About. We Need A Black Woman In Charge. https://weneedablackwomanincharge.substack.com/about Stevens, Z. (n.d.-b). We Need A Black Woman In Charge [Substack publication]. Stevens, Z. (2026, October 14). How Kelly Clarkson became an angry White woman. We Need A Black Woman In Charge. Thank you Mandy Ohman, Alissa Resch, EG, Millie Jones-Cowles, LeftieProf, A. Eevie Bateman, Chris Resists and many others for tuning into my live video with Zuri Stevens! Join me for my next live video in the app. Join Me: Want to be a guest on one of my Substack Live conversations? Book a Substack Live Pre-Interview on Zoom. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Women Empowerment with Zuri Stevens
  5. Oct 27

    Toxicity Without Villains with Craig Wahl

    Craig Wahl: Bio Craig Wahl is a Leadership Architect, CEO Advisor, and Speaker, and the founder and director of Njorth (since 2019), based in Ontario, Canada. He advises founders and executive teams “when growth begins to strain leadership, execution, and trust,” helping them align, decide clearly, and move forward together. [1] He brings 25+ years of executive experience in SaaS and technology companies, including scaling a team from 8 to 300 people. He has worked as a fractional COO, a growth coach at Communitech, and a customer success coach with Catalyst. He has led through lawsuits, a bankruptcy, and rapid scale-ups, and early in life he survived a near-fatal car accident that reshaped how he handles pressure and setbacks. [1][2] Craig is the author of The Walk, a leadership book now on preorder, written for leaders who “need what actually works, not polished hero myths.” His guiding line: “My goal isn’t to be indispensable. It’s to build leaders who no longer need me.” [1][2] Social Media Website: njorth.ai · Free Leadership Toolkit: njorth.ai/leadership-toolkit · LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/craigawahl Craig’s Recent Interviews * The Elisha Show: “The Leadership Mistake That Holds Most People Back” (leadership as a journey, trust, “inspect what you expect”). Listen * Gurmeet Judge podcast: “The Importance of Understanding Unique Business Situations,” Oct 1, 2026 (CEO leadership, curiosity, a changing workforce). Listen * The Business Transformation Journey with Ondrej Papanek, Sept 2026: where his “Help me understand” idea took off. Shared on his LinkedIn. [2] * Fractional Pros Canada, Episode 77, Sept 4, 2026: moving from full-time executive to fractional leader. Shared on his LinkedIn. [2] Key Statistics * Culture drives people out. Toxic culture is 10.4 times more powerful than compensation in predicting a company’s attrition rate. The top drivers: failure to promote diversity, equity, and inclusion; workers feeling disrespected; and unethical behavior. [3] * It’s common. 19% of U.S. workers describe their workplace as very or somewhat toxic. [4] * It harms people. Workers in toxic workplaces are more than three times as likely to report harm to their mental health at work (52% vs. 15%). [4] * It’s expensive. Nearly one in five Americans left a job because of culture over five years, at a cost of up to $223 billion in turnover. [5] * Managers set the tone. 76% of Americans say their manager sets the culture. [5] Managers account for at least 70% of the variance in employee engagement. [6] * The manager squeeze. Global engagement fell to 21% in 2024, driven by manager engagement dropping from 30% to 27%, costing an estimated $438 billion in lost productivity. [7] * The big idea: not every toxic workplace has a villain. Often it’s systems, unclear expectations, and leaders doing things to people instead of with them. 1. Toxicity Without Villains. How do misalignment and unclear expectations create toxic behavior in good people? 2. Doing it with people, not to them. What does it look like during a reorganization or a big change? Why does explaining the why, and inviting feedback, change how people respond? 3. Curiosity: “Help me understand.” Craig says three words change how people respond: “Help me understand.” Why does that work better than “why”? [2] 4. Public sector and private sector. My lens as a retired Army civilian with 39 years of service, and Craig’s from fast-growing tech companies: where does bureaucracy create toxicity, and where does speed create it? 5. The long middle and scale. * “Scale doesn’t create new problems. It magnifies the ones you tolerated.” [2] * Who is taking care of the managers? Closing A boundary is a decision, not a debate. So is a healthy culture. References * Craig Wahl, Njorth website (Home and About). https://njorth.ai/ * Craig Wahl, LinkedIn profile and posts (Aug to Oct 2026). https://www.linkedin.com/in/craigawahl/ * Sull, D., Sull, C., & Zweig, B. (2022, January 11). Toxic culture is driving the Great Resignation. MIT Sloan Management Review. https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/toxic-culture-is-driving-the-great-resignation/ * American Psychological Association. (2023, July 13). 2023 Work in America Survey: Workplaces as engines of psychological health and well-being (n = 2,515 U.S. workers). https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/07/work-mental-health-challenges * Society for Human Resource Management. (2019, September 25). The high cost of a toxic workplace culture. https://www.shrm.org/about/press-room/shrm-reports-toxic-workplace-cultures-cost-billions * Gallup. (2015). State of the American manager: Analytics and advice for leaders. Washington, DC: Gallup, Inc. * Gallup. (2025, April 23). State of the global workplace: 2025 report. https://www.gallup.com/file/workplace/660197/State-of-the-Global-Workplace-Global-Press-Release-2025.pdf Thank you The Secret Ingredient, Ms.Yuse, SammyD, RLM, Phil Toro, and many others for tuning into my live video with Craig Wahl! Join me for my next live video in the app. Join Me: Want to be a guest on one of my Substack Live conversations? Book a Substack Live Pre-Interview on Zoom. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Toxicity Without Villains with Craig Wahl
  6. Oct 26

    An American Perspective on French Protest with Will Fullwood

    Will Fullwood: Bio Will Fullwood writes The Contraband Wagon on Substack, “a prescient antiracism publication, sure to empower, intrigue, and inspire.” [1] He describes himself as a longtime educator, assessment and ed tech specialist, antiracist activist, lawyer, poker player, musician, empath, and polymath, with a BA, an MSEd, and a JD (Fordham Law School). [1][2]. Will’s a career educator who taught mathematics and English to students “ages 3-73.” Will was most recently an Assistant Professor at Wake Technical Community College in North Carolina. [2] In August 2025, he founded Mission Meliora, a France-based, mission-driven enterprise “dedicated to building an antiracist world,” serving U.S. audiences through online seminars, live events, and speaking, while building a French team to expand into Europe. [2] His work also includes communications and document review for cultural, racial and gender sensitivity; business equity consulting; speaking on antiracism and curiosity through his fellowship with the Global Curiosity Institute; and retreats in France. On Substack, he hosts live conversations on race, community and courage. [1] Will’s Social Media Patreon: patreon.com/thecontrabandwagon Substack: willfullwood.substack.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/william-fullwood-35114013 Will on The Empowered Leader (Previous Lives) * “Things We Shouldn’t Say with Will Fullwood and Brandon Ellrich” (Jan 30, 2026): substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/things-we-shouldnt-say-with-will * “Building an Anti-Racism Movement with Will Fullwood” (Feb 18, 2026): substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/building-an-anti-racism-movement * “Notes of the Week | E25 - Margaret and Will” (Mar 17, 2026): substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/notes-of-the-week-e25-margaret-and * “Radical Joy with Will Fullwood” (Jul 8, 2026): substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/radical-joy-with-will-fullwood Key Statistics * Protest at scale. On January 31, 2023, France’s Interior Ministry counted about 1.27 million people marching against pension reform (87,000 in Paris); unions put it at 2.8 million. [3] * Race and work in France. People perceived as Black, Arab or North African are 2.8 times more likely to report discrimination at work than people perceived as white. At hiring, perceived origin is the second most cited reason for discrimination (21%), after age (42%). [4] * Silence has a cost. 19% of U.S. workers call their workplace toxic, and those workers are more than three times as likely to report harm to their mental health (52% vs. 15%). [5] * Seeing protest through new eyes. In 2023, more than a million people marched in a single day over pension reform. [3] * Race, protest and belonging. France’s rights watchdog found that people perceived as Black, Arab, or North African are 2.8 times more likely to report discrimination at work. [4] * Curiosity as a tool. Will speaks on antiracism and curiosity through the Global Curiosity Institute. * Voice, power, and women leaders. Nearly one in five U.S. workers call their workplace toxic. [5] References * Will Fullwood, The Contraband Wagon (Substack) and “About Will Fullwood a.k.a. Contraband.” * William Fullwood, LinkedIn profile (accessed Oct 26, 2026). https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-fullwood-35114013/ * AFP via Hespress English. (2023, January 31). 1.27 mn protesters against French pension reform: Interior Ministry. https://en.hespress.com/57865-57865.html * Défenseur des droits. (2025, December). 18e baromètre sur la perception des discriminations dans l’emploi. Summary: editions-tissot.fr * American Psychological Association. (2023, July 13). 2023 Work in America Survey (n = 2,515 U.S. workers). https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/07/work-mental-health-challenges * American Psychological Association. (2023, July 13). 2023 Work in America Survey (n = 2,515 U.S. workers). https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/07/work-mental-health-challenges Thank you OnyxRose💛🤍💜🖤🏳️‍⚧️ EG, Millie Jones-Cowles, Peter.Sukowski, Seitzinator ❌👑, Ziggy, and many others for tuning into my live video with Will Fullwood! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

  7. Oct 24

    Tell the Truth

    The mask keeps you safe. It also keeps you small. Let’s be honest. Most of us don’t lie big. We lie small. All day long. “I’m fine.” “No problem.” “Whatever works for you.” “It’s not a big deal.” We laugh off the comment that stung. We nod at the plan we know won’t work. We say yes to the thing we have no room for. And we call it being professional. Being easy to work with. Keeping the peace. It isn’t peace. It’s a mask. People wear masks because they fear the truth being exposed. Speak the truth anyway. What Telling the Truth Is Telling the truth isn’t blurting. It isn’t unloading every thought you’ve had since 2019. It isn’t using honesty as a license to wound. It’s saying what is so, clearly, to the person who needs to hear it. It’s not about being brutal. It’s about being clear. It’s not about winning the conversation. It’s about not abandoning yourself in it. Truth with care is a gift. Truth used as a weapon is just cruelty with a good excuse. You already know the difference. You’ve been on the receiving end of both. Why We Learned to Lie Small Nobody handed us a rulebook. We learned it anyway. We learned that the girl who spoke up got called bossy. That the woman who named the problem became the problem. That the one who said “that’s not okay” got a reputation, and the one who smiled got promoted. For many of us, especially women who have been marginalized in the rooms we lead in, the small lie wasn’t weakness. It was survival. It kept the job. It kept the relationship. It kept us out of the line of fire. So be gentle with yourself about the masks you’ve worn. They did their job. But a tool that kept you alive can still be the thing that keeps you from living. What the Mask Costs The mask doesn’t come off at five o’clock. It comes home with you. It costs energy. Holding back the true sentence takes effort, every single time. That tiredness you can’t explain after a meeting where you “didn’t even say anything”? That’s the cost. It costs trust. People can feel when something is being held back, even if they can’t name it. The mask meant to protect the relationship slowly empties it out. It costs influence. The idea you didn’t say can’t be credited to you. The concern you swallowed can’t be acted on. The boundary you didn’t name can’t be respected. And it costs you. Wear a mask long enough and you start forgetting what your own face looks like. The truth you hold back doesn’t disappear. It just leads without you. The Truth You Tell Yourself First Before the truth comes out of your mouth, it has to get past you. This is the harder part. The honest look at what you actually want. What you actually feel. What you already know about that job, that friendship, that pattern, and keep talking yourself out of. Many of us are fluent in everyone else’s truth and strangers to our own. We can tell you exactly what the team needs, what our family needs, what the client needs. Ask what we need and we go quiet. Start there. You can’t speak a truth you haven’t let yourself hear. The Telling Truth-telling is a muscle. Nobody starts with the hardest conversation of their life. You start small, and you build. Begin by catching the small lie as it leaves your mouth. You don’t have to fix it every time. Just notice it. “There it is again. I said fine. I’m not fine.” Noticing is where the change starts. Then trade one small lie a day for a small truth. “Actually, I can’t take that on this week.” “I see it differently.” “That comment didn’t sit right with me.” Short. Plain. No speech attached. Say it once, and let it stand. You don’t need three paragraphs of apology wrapped around one honest sentence. The over-explaining is the mask trying to slip back on. Choose your timing, not your silence. There is a difference between “not now” and “not ever.” Waiting for the right moment is wisdom. Waiting forever is the mask with a better excuse. And let the discomfort be there. The first few times you tell the truth, it will feel like you’ve done something wrong. You haven’t. You’ve done something new. Unfamiliar is not wrong. It’s just the sound of you, unmasked. Integration: The Leadership Reality If you lead people, they are watching what happens to truth in your presence. When someone brings you bad news, do they get thanked or punished? When someone disagrees, does the room get curious or cold? Your team will tell you exactly as much truth as you have made safe to tell. Not one sentence more. So go first. Name your own mistakes out loud. Say “I don’t know” when you don’t. Thank the person who told you what nobody else would. That’s how you build a culture where masks come off. And know this too: some rooms will punish truth no matter how kindly you tell it. That isn’t proof you were wrong to speak. It’s information about the room. What you do with that information is your decision. The Coaching Chair Let’s sit with this for a moment. No rushing. Think of one place in your life right now where you’re wearing a mask. Not the biggest one. Just one. A relationship. A meeting. A conversation you keep almost having. Notice what you’re protecting. Is it the other person’s comfort? Your reputation? The peace? Or is it something older, a lesson you learned a long time ago about what happens to women who say the true thing? Now picture yourself saying it. One clear sentence. Calm voice. No apology attached. Notice what happens in your body when you imagine it. The fear is real. So is the relief underneath it. You don’t have to say it today. But you do get to stop pretending you don’t know it. Final Reflection Truth doesn’t need to be loud to be powerful. It just needs to be yours. The world has had plenty of your silence. It’s waiting to hear from the woman behind the mask. What is the one true sentence you’ve been carrying, and who needs to hear it? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Tell the Truth
  8. Oct 23

    Unbothered

    Not numb. Not cold. Settled. You know the moment. The email copied to your boss. The comment in the meeting, said with a smile. The relative who brings up the thing at dinner, again. Your chest tightens. Your face heats. And the next three hours belong to someone who isn’t even thinking about you. Let’s be honest. Most of us were never taught to be unbothered. We were taught to look it. Smile. Swallow it. Don’t make a scene. Then go home and replay it in the shower until the water runs cold. That isn’t unbothered. That’s bothered in disguise. What Unbothered Is Unbothered is a settled center. Things still reach you. You still feel them. They just don’t get to take over the controls. It’s not about feeling nothing. It’s about deciding what gets your energy. Your reaction is a resource. Every time you spend it on someone who wanted a rise out of you, you paid them. Unbothered is simply choosing where that payment goes. What Unbothered Is Not It isn’t numbness. Numb is what happens when you’ve been hurt so often that you shut the door on everything, joy included. That’s protection, and it costs you your own life. It isn’t the performance. The breezy “I’m fine” while your jaw is clenched. Performing calm takes more energy than the original insult did. And it isn’t indifference. You can care deeply about your work, your people, and your values and still refuse to be pulled off course by every pebble someone throws. Unbothered is not unaffected. It’s unmoved from your center. Why It Was Taken From Us Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Women in leadership get graded on our reactions in a way others don’t. Show you’re upset and you’re “too emotional.” Show nothing and you’re “cold” or “intimidating.” So we learned to monitor ourselves constantly, reading every room, managing every flicker on our faces. That constant watch is exhausting. It keeps your nervous system on alert, waiting for the next thing. And when you’re always braced, everything bothers you, because everything feels like a threat. Some people learned that, too. They know a reaction from you can be used against you. The provocation is the point. What they took from you wasn’t theirs to keep. Your peace included. Where Unbothered Comes From Real calm doesn’t come from trying harder to stay calm. It comes from being settled in who you are. When you know your worth, a dismissive comment is information about the person who said it. When you know your record, one bad review doesn’t rewrite it. When you’re grounded in your values, someone else’s opinion becomes something you consider, not a verdict you obey. That’s why unbothered is healing work, not a technique. The more whole you become, the less there is for anyone to grab onto. The Settling When something lands, let it land. Notice the heat in your face or the drop in your stomach. Don’t argue with it. Your body is telling you something happened, and it’s right. Then take a breath before you take a position. The urge to respond right now is rarely wisdom. It’s the old alarm. Nothing that matters will be lost in the time it takes to breathe. Ask yourself one quiet question: is this mine to carry? Some things are. A real mistake, a fair concern, a person who needs you. Many things aren’t. Someone else’s mood. Someone else’s need to be right. Someone else’s discomfort with you taking up space. If it’s yours, handle it on your timing, in your words. If it isn’t, set it down. You don’t have to win it, explain it, or replay it. A boundary is a decision, not a debate. And when you catch yourself replaying it later, and you will, be kind about it. Each time you notice and come back, the settling gets a little deeper. Integration: The Leadership Reality Unbothered doesn’t mean unaccountable. If feedback is true, it should still reach you. Being settled is what lets you hear it without collapsing or getting defensive. It doesn’t excuse looking away from harm. Staying calm about a snide remark aimed at you is one thing. Staying calm while someone on your team is mistreated is not peace. It’s silence. Your settled center is exactly what lets you step in clearly. Your calm is contagious, and so is your panic. A team takes its cue from the leader’s nervous system. When you stay steady under pressure, you give everyone else permission to think instead of react. And some places are built to keep you bothered. If a workplace requires you to stay braced every single day just to function, the problem isn’t your reaction. That’s information about the place. The Coaching Chair Come sit with me for a minute. Think of the person or situation that rattles you most right now. Not the biggest problem in your life, just the one that gets under your skin fastest. Picture the last time it happened. Notice where you feel it in your body as you remember. Now look at how much of your time it has taken since. The conversations in your head. The things you wish you’d said. Be honest about the cost. Then separate it into two piles. What part of this is truly yours to deal with? And what part have you been carrying for them? Imagine walking into the next encounter already settled. Same person, same comment, but you’re standing on your own ground. Notice what you’d do differently. Notice what you’d simply let go by. What would become possible if this no longer had a hold on you? Final Reflection There’s a kind of quiet that isn’t silence. It’s the quiet of a woman who knows who she is. The noise will keep coming. Let it. You don’t have to answer every knock on the door. Your peace is yours. Keep it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe

    Unbothered

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About

The Empowered Leader Podcast is for marginalized women leaders who are ready to heal what power systems took from them, so they can lead with Freedom, Influence, and Authority. Hosted by Margaret Williams, MS, ACC, a Certified Executive Leadership and Team Coach, I/O psychologist, and retired Army civilian with 39 years of service, each episode goes beneath surface-level leadership advice. Through candid conversations with guests and live sessions recorded on Substack, we name the real tensions of leading inside systems not designed for you: visibility without backlash, authority without permission, and using your voice without erasing yourself. You'll leave each episode with a clearer sense of what's personal, what's systemic, and where your voice and your choices still hold power, because good leaders need healing to become their best and to help others rise. substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com