In this episode, I reconnect with Sunil Ayyagari, someone I’ve known since we were kids, to talk about time, identity, ambition, and what it looks like to build a life that surprises you. Sunil reflects on growing up queer in the late 80s and 90s, when stigma and fear shaped what was visible, and how pop culture touchstones like Madonna and Pedro Zamora, plus early AOL chat rooms, helped him piece together a sense of self. We talk about moving to New York, working in theater, and the moment he realized the dream had limits, including burnout, money, and the feeling of hitting a ceiling. From there, he walks through a full reset in his early thirties: business school, a new industry, a new city, and eventually marriage and a move back to North Jersey. We also get into attention and technology, what we miss about appointment TV and mixtapes, and how our cohort came of age before constant connectivity, then got addicted anyway. At its heart, this conversation asks: what happens when the life you thought you wanted changes? About Sunil Ayyagari Sunil Ayyagari works in brand strategy and innovation for national and global brands. From 60+ theater productions, to sexual lubricants to soup, he’s had the opportunity to market a diverse range of products, keeping the work days interesting Outside of work, Sunil’s passions include the performing arts, fundraising for the MS Society of NJ, and seeing the world with his husband of 7 years. He’s also a cat dad, with two children named Biscuit and Gravy, who are delicious as they sound. This episode was originally released on April 22, 2026.
