clearly becoming

Hazel Ann
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Clearly Becoming is for ambitious twentysomethings navigating career chaos, identity shifts, and the pressure to "figure it out." Hosted by Hazel Ann Felder, each episode delivers evidence-based tools from neuroscience and psychology, honest conversations with people who've become something (not just achieved something), and actionable frameworks for clarity, curiosity, alignment, and action. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. New episodes every Monday.

  1. 5D AGO

    EP 37 – Is loving your work the same as losing yourself?

    EP 37 – Is loving your work the same as losing yourself? Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode You've been told Gen Z is lazy. Quiet quitting. Bare minimum Mondays. Disengaged. But what if I told you that Gen Z cares so much, so deeply, about the right work, that they have actually started to lose track of where the work ends and you begin? This episode is about that line. The one between loving what you do and being consumed by it. Between choosing your life and drifting into it while being very, very good at it. We're going there via The Devil Wears Prada (that’s right, Miranda, Andy, Emily) and the neuroscience and psychology that explains why even purpose-driven ambition can become a trap. Especially in your twenties, when the developmental task is to keep exploring who you are — not lock it down. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: The real difference between Miranda Priestly and Emily — and why it's not about work ethic Why purpose-driven workaholism is harder to spot (it feels righteous) The dopamine loop behind "one more email", and why Miranda isn't disciplined, she's wired in What identity foreclosure is, and why your 20s are the highest-risk window for it The hedonic treadmill: why the reward always moves, and what that means for how you're measuring success How to tell the difference between harmonious passion and obsessive passion, from the inside Three questions to ask yourself this week: not to work less, but to work with more awareness 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Working hard is not the same as losing yourself. But in your twenties, you have to be awake enough to know the difference." TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Nigel's quote + the question this episode is really asking 01:30 — Miranda, Andy, Emily: three archetypes, one question — which one are you? 03:00 — Gen Z data: 89% purpose-driven, 44% have quit for lack of meaning, 41% tie identity to work 04:30 — The risk isn't working hard. The risk is mistaking intensity for meaning. 05:00 — The dopamine loop: why stimulating work activates the same pathways as compulsive behaviour 06:30 — Identity foreclosure: what Erikson says about committing too early to one identity 08:00 — The hedonic treadmill: each win raises the baseline. You don't arrive. 09:00 — Harmonious vs obsessive passion — and how Miranda crossed from one to the other 10:00 — The Gen Z version of the trap: when your side hustle is your passion, boundaries feel like betrayal 10:30 — Three tests: can you set it down? Who are you without it? Did you choose this? 13:30 — The clarity round + what Hazel Ann is letting go of 14:30 — Clearly becoming… the narrator of my own life RESOURCES Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development — identity vs role confusion Harmonious vs Obsessive Passion — Vallerand et al. (2003) Deloitte Global Gen Z and Millennial Survey 2025 Dopamine and Reward Pathways — Psychology Today RELEVANT EPISODES EP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20s EP 29 - How to Become Before You Believe It This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

    19 min

  2. APR 27

    EP 36 – Everything I Wish I Knew Before University

    Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode You picked your major at 18. You chose your campus, made your plans, showed up. And somewhere between freshers' week and graduation, you became a completely different person. In this episode, I'm closing my university chapter — and being honest about everything I wish I'd known sooner. The risks I should have taken earlier. The rooms I almost didn't walk into. The version of myself I had to unlearn to actually grow. If you're in it right now (or about to be), this one's for you. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: Why taking risks in your university application is the move — even when it feels terrifying The alternative pathways into top universities nobody talks about (transfers, study abroad, and who you know) Why not knowing what you want at 18 is actually normal — and what to do with that How to get the most out of university by being intentional, not just present Why studying abroad and placement years are career clarity accelerators How your major does not define you — and what actually does The soft skills, values, and self-awareness that matter more than your GPA 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "You are not behind. You are becoming." TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Closing the university chapter 1:08 — The privilege of education 1:37 — Take more risks — what I wish I'd known 3:53 — Getting your foot in the door 4:37 — Alternative pathways: transfers, study abroad, networking 5:25 — The myth of knowing what you want at 18 6:56 — Your brain at 18 is still developing 7:43 — How to actually make the most of university 9:48 — Connecting with professors and mentors 15:02 — Why studying abroad changed everything 19:01 — Placement years and internships 20:53 — Using university resources before it's too late 23:12 — Your major doesn't define you 27:34 — Effort over speed 30:05 — Facing the fears 32:03 — Unlearning perfectionism 33:51 — Final reflection RELEVANT EPISODES EP 11 – Learn Faster: The Career Skills No One Teaches You EP 15 –  How to Advocate for yourself  EP 25 – Mastering the Art of Interviews: How to Interview Without Freezing or Faking It This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

    35 min

  3. APR 22

    EP 35 – why your team sucks (and what to actually do about it)

    You were taught that a good team is a harmonious one. Nobody fights. Nobody pushes back. Everyone gets along. That's not collaboration. That's avoidance — and it's quietly killing your growth. In this episode, Hazel Ann unpacks why conflict isn't the enemy of strong teams — it's the evidence that people actually care. From the real cost of pandemic-era soft skill gaps to the psychology of what makes groups either coast or commit, this episode reframes everything you thought you knew about working with other people. Including yourself. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: Why the pandemic quietly dismantled a generation's ability to collaborate — and what that means for you right now How the Belbin Team Roles framework reveals not just how you work, but who you are Why conflict is a sign of commitment, not dysfunction The difference between a team that performs and a team that's just performing What "overcompensating for loafers" is actually costing you How to lead by example when you have no formal authority Why self-acceptance isn't soft — it's the foundation of every strong team contribution 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Overcompensating enables loafers. Leading by example changes them." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – The Struggles of Collaboration 02:30 – The Impact of the Pandemic on Soft Skills 07:43 – The Importance of Conflict in Teams 11:41 – The Psychology of Teamwork 16:13 – Strategies for Effective Collaboration 20:40 – The Role of Conflict in Personal Evolution RESOURCES The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni  Managers Don’t Want To Hire Gen-Z Workers, Citing A Lack Of Soft Skills—Survey Says Neuro-collaboration": The neuroscience of successful collaboration Belbin Team Roles    RELEVANT EPISODES EP 18 – This Is Why You Feel Stuck (And How to Shift It) EP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20s This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

    30 min

  4. APR 6

    The Real Reason You Can't Pick a Lane

    Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode You've been told to pick one thing. One passion. One path. One version of yourself that makes sense to everyone else. But what if the confusion isn't the problem — what if it's the data? In this episode, Hazel Ann sits down with Ashleigh — PR professional turned freelance journalist, community builder, and someone who figured out that friction isn't the enemy of growth. It's the whole point. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: How to write a pitch that actually gets opened — and responded to Why self-trust is built through action, not certainty What friction maxing is and why it might be the most underrated growth strategy for your 20s How to build a community and network that feels genuine, not transactional Why curiosity is a career strategy — not just a personality trait 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Growth happens with friction, not with ease." — Ashleigh TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – 00:00 – You can be ambitious and confused at the same time 00:29 – Introducing Ashleigh: from PR to freelance journalism 06:04 – Bridging personal and professional wellness 10:36 – Friction maxing: why discomfort is the strategy 20:39 – Building it without the blueprint RESOURCES Agenda Setting Theory The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why by Deborah Tannen Book: Attachment by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller RELEVANT EPISODES Stop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Do this instead  How to Become Before you Believe it  LET'S CONNECTThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH ASH 🎧 Instagram: @ashspili  🎵 TikTok: @ashleighspili 🎧 YouTube: @ashspili  CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN  Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming Next episode: The science of being a great teammate — what it actually takes to show up for a team and yourself at the same time.

    21 min

  5. MAR 30

    The Real Reason You Can't Pick a Lane (And Why You Shouldn't)

    Episode 33 | Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode In this episode, Hazel Ann chats with Ashley Spiliapulu about breaking away from traditional career trajectories, embracing multiple interests, and cultivating confidence to advocate for oneself. This conversation is packed with actionable insights for ambitious individuals navigating a chaotic career landscape.  IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: Ashley shares her diverse career from PR to journalism to founding inclusive communities The misconception that one must choose a single passion early on How sport and a growth mindset foster resilience and confidence The importance of embracing multiple interests for happiness and fulfillment 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "You don't need clarity to be ambitious. You need permission to move before the picture is complete." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Challenging the idea that ambition and confusion are mutually exclusive 00:29 - Introducing Ashley Spiliapulu and her eclectic career journey 00:43 - The nonlinear path: doing multiple passions simultaneously 01:12 - How to navigate societal pressures to pick a single career early 02:02 - Ashley explains her focus on sport and subsequent transition at 22 02:41 - The stereotype of sticking to one career and why it's outdated 03:29 - How trying multiple avenues boosts confidence through experience 03:52 - The importance of resilience when going against societal norms 04:29 - The significance of sports in developing discipline and belief in oneself 05:01 - Ashley's move from sport to PR and how she broke into the industry 05:25 - Overcoming the experience barrier through internships and proactive effort 06:36 - The myth that you need formal credentials to get started 06:43 - The value of taking initiative, even without perfect experience 07:46 - How to showcase your skills and attitude for new roles 08:06 - The gender dynamics in self-promotion and confidence in the workplace 09:10 - The importance of playing the "confidence game" to get ahead 10:16 - Using a confident alter ego to navigate intimidating environments 10:57 - The role of visual branding and consistency in creating opportunities 11:45 - The impact of affirmations and embodying the person you want to be 12:11 - How to merge your current traits with your aspirational self-image 12:29 - The value of effort, attitude, and energy over pure talent 12:38 - Taking immediate action when inspired — a story of seizing ideas 13:42 - How self-talk influences belief and performance 14:24 - Can ambition be learned or is it innate? 15:08 - The misconception that you must have clarity to be ambitious 15:30 - Navigating undirected ambition and embracing multiple passions 16:04 - When ambition feels overwhelming and how to manage it 17:09 - How having varied interests fosters resilience and happiness 18:30 - The story behind Sunny's Run Club and its mission of inclusivity 22:10 - How Ashley started running and uses it for exploration and connection 23:01 - Reframing labels: becoming a runner instead of saying "not an athlete" 23:34 - The impact of sports psychology on confidence and performance 26:09 - Embracing rejection as a natural part of growth and self-discovery 28:27 - Teasing part two: How to effectively pitch yourself and the power of community RESOURCES Agenda Setting Theory Power of Talk RELEVANT EPISODES Stop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Do this instead  How to Become Before you Believe it  LET'S CONNECT This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. Connect with Ash: Instagram: @ashspili  TikTok: @ashleighspili YouTube: @ashspili  Connect with Hazel Ann:  Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming Next episode: The science of being a great teammate — what it actually takes to show up for a team and yourself at the same time.

    30 min

  6. MAR 23

    You Don't Have to Be the Loudest to Lead

    Episode 32 Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode Most people think leadership means having all the answers, commanding the room, or projecting total confidence. This episode is about what leadership actually is — and why that myth might be what's keeping you from stepping into it. In this episode, Hazel Ann breaks down the real science of influence, why hyper-awareness is a cognitive strength (not a liability), and what it looks like to build a leadership identity before you have the title. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: What leadership really is — and why the traditional model keeps ambitious people small Why influence is a science rooted in credibility, trust, and relatability — not a personality type How hyper-awareness and emotional regulation are learnable cognitive skills The Approach Inhibition Theory and what power actually does to empathy How to start practicing leadership in the environment you're already in A simple framework to begin building your leadership identity — no title required 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "You don't have to be the loudest to influence — you have to be the most aware." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – The misconception: leadership isn't about being the loudest in the room 00:25 – Who this episode is for and what we're actually building today 00:47 – Rethinking what leadership looks like — and where that old picture came from 01:44 – Leadership as leverage: internal resources, external environment 02:55 – Navigating uncertainty — you don't need to have it figured out to lead 03:54 – What happens when leaders ignore the room around them 04:43 – Valuing people at every level and building organizations that actually include people 05:45 – Hyper-awareness: why it's a cognitive strength, not a flaw 06:37 – Approach Inhibition Theory — how power reduces empathy, and what to do about it 07:40 – Perspective-taking and emotional intelligence as leadership tools 08:49 – Trait leadership theory — what's fixed, what's learnable 09:40 – Self-awareness, empathy, and discipline as the core three 10:07 – Influence as a science: credibility, trust, and relatability 10:56 – How connection and credibility actually build influence 12:00 – The L'Oréal/UNESCO HIV awareness case study — what trust makes possible 13:16 – How to practice influence right now, in the role you already have 13:34 – Knowing your signals — self-regulation before you can lead others 14:37 – Building emotional regulation to create psychological safety 16:07 – Recognizing your triggers as a leadership practice 17:29 – The power of connecting others — being a bridge, not just a builder 18:39 – Using your network and existing strengths as leadership assets 19:10 – Leadership is a journey — not a title, not a moment 19:55 – Developing your leadership qualities with what you already have 20:20 – Self-belief and transformational leadership 20:41 – Clarity Round: unlearning myths, naming your edge, committing to one action 22:03 – Community CTA + next episode preview: teamwork and being a great teammate RESOURCES Emotional Intelligence — Daniel Goleman Trait Leadership Theory Big Five Personality Traits Harvard Business Review on Influence Approach Inhibition Theory (Keltner, Gruenfeld & Anderson, 2003) RELEVANT EPISODES How to Advocate for Yourself  How to extract value from your experiences  LET'S CONNECT This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

    23 min

  7. MAR 16

    Stop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Build a System Instead.

    How to Build Habits and Routines That Actually Stick When You're in Your 20s and Figuring It All Out Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming  If you've ever started the week with a clear plan and ended it wondering what happened, this episode is for you.  Hazel Ann breaks down why motivation alone is a trap, and what the science actually says about how high-performing people stay consistent when life gets messy. This isn't hustle culture. This is about what it takes to build routines that move you forward, even when you have no idea who you're becoming yet. You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall back to the level of your systems. IN THIS EPISODE: 40% of your daily actions are already running on autopilot James Clear framework: goals are the destination, systems are the road What triggers motivation (hint: it's not a vision board) Vague goals drain your energy — and what to do instead Keystone habit concept and why it's the gateway discipline The rebound effect and how to break all-or-nothing thinking for good Why difficulty is a feature—hard things build mental strength Framework to audit your habits and upgrade your systems over time Chapters 00:00 - Why systems impact our results more than we realise  00:38 - Goals vs. systems: Building habits to reach your dreams  1:20 - How experimenting with routines shapes who you are  2:00 - The importance of flexibility in routines and dealing with life hurdles 2:37 - Reese Witherspoon’s insight on talents versus dreams  4:01 - The significance of having a system alongside ambitions  5:00 - Focusing on daily actions to identify effective systems  5:29 - Neuroscience of habits: How the brain automates goals  6:12 - James Clear on goals as destinations and systems as the route  6:29 - The difference systems make in turning aspirations into achievements  6:53 - Motivation triggers: specificity, self-efficacy, autonomy  7:12 - Why vague goals drain energy; concrete plans are more effective  8:48 - Building belief in yourself through strong self-efficacy  9:16 - Designing systems rooted in autonomy for lasting motivation  10:06 - Experimenting to find your intuition and personal routines  11:15 - The non-conscious loop: autopilot goal pursuit through environmental cues  12:34 - Implementing keystone habits like exercising to foster discipline  13:57 - Reducing cognitive load with routines (e.g., wardrobe choices)  15:41 - Bundling habits to reduce decision fatigue  16:16 - Overcoming choice paralysis with pre-planned routines  16:39 - The balance between reducing friction and adding intentional effort  17:21 - Hard work and its role in building discipline and resilience  20:21 - Practical frameworks: anchoring morning and night routines  21:17 - Insights from CEO routines and consistency’s impact on performance  23:08 - The science of decision-making in the mornings  24:27 - The importance of reflection and adjusting systems over time  25:34 - Incorporating rewards to reinforce habits  26:34 - Starting small: The power of 5-minute routines  27:14 - Designing flexible days with non-negotiables  28:49 - Recognizing your energy levels to optimize task timing 30:49 - Reflective questions for evaluating your progress  31:56 - Final encouragement: start small, reflect, and upgrade your systems RESOURCES Atomic Habits by James Clear Morning and Evening Routines by Duke University  Motivation and SCT by Bandura (1997) Physical activity is connected with a career success (Metelski, 2020) The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change by Elliot T Berkman The Power of Now by Charles Duhigg LET'S CONNECT DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. 🎧 Instagram: @clearlybecoming  🎵 TikTok: @clearlybecoming_  🎧  YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming  Next episode: Leadership skills — the qualities that make effective leaders and how to develop them early in your career.

    35 min

  8. MAR 9

    Becoming a Supercommunicator: 4 Rules to Improve Your Conversations

    Epiosde 30 — Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming"Rejection drops your IQ by 25%. So why are we winging every hard conversation?" SUMMARY In this episode, host Hazel Ann dives deep into the invisible forces that sabotage our everyday conversations — and what to do about them. The host, Hazel Ann, breaks down the neuroscience and psychology behind why we talk past each other, why emotional reactions hijack our best intentions, and how a few simple rules can completely transform how we connect with others — at work, at home, and in life. Built for ambitious individuals navigating the chaos of their 20s, EP 30 cuts through the noise on communication to give you real, research-backed tools you can use right now. This episode will help you identify the root cause of most miscommunications, regulate your emotional responses in real time, and show up as a clearer, more confident communicator in every room you walk into. TAKEAWAYS Most miscommunications happen because people are in different types of conversations without even realising it — get on the same page first.Take a beat before you respond: a brief pause can be the difference between an emotional reaction and a rational, powerful reply.Brains literally sync during great conversations — neurological alignment is what makes connection feel effortless.Expressing feelings and vulnerability doesn't make you weak; it makes you relatable, trustworthy, and more persuasive.Signalling your values and boundaries clearly isn't aggressive — it's how you earn lasting respect and avoid unnecessary conflict. CHAPTERS 00:00 – Introduction to Clearly Becoming 01:02 – The Gap in Communication: Why We Talk Past Each Other 06:46 – Finding Flow in Conversations 08:09 – Celebrating Your Progress 08:56 – The Mismatch Problem: When Conversations Collide 12:38 – Workplace Communication Dynamics 20:54 – The Importance of Self-Advocacy 26:15 – Your Actionable Communication Toolkit: 4 Rules That Work 30:38 – Embracing Growth in Your Communication Skills RESOURCES Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg — the book behind this episode's core frameworksSusan Levin's research at Columbia University — columbia.eduTed Talk by Shannon Pearson — Watch hereWharton Business School — wharton.upenn.edu LET'S CONNECT ✨ Did this episode hit differently? I want to hear from you! DM me on Instagram with your biggest takeaway or the ONE thing you're committing to this week — let's build accountability together. Host – Hazel Ann Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming 🎧 Subscribe to the Clearly Becoming | HerCareerHerWay YouTube channel: 👉 youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

    32 min
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About

Clearly Becoming is for ambitious twentysomethings navigating career chaos, identity shifts, and the pressure to "figure it out." Hosted by Hazel Ann Felder, each episode delivers evidence-based tools from neuroscience and psychology, honest conversations with people who've become something (not just achieved something), and actionable frameworks for clarity, curiosity, alignment, and action. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. New episodes every Monday.

Information

  • Creator
    Hazel Ann
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    38
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Hazel Ann
  • Show Website
    clearly becoming