Don't Come In, I'm Ranking!

deanbowler
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  • Comedy
  • Updated Biweekly

Ever wondered what the best festival headliners are? Or the worst movie sequels? In Don’t Come in, I’m Ranking, Dean, Sam and Cal will tackle the big (and very small) questions by ranking everything from music and movies to snacks and sports. Packed with blind ranking challenges, debates, ridiculously poor logic and a bit of banter, this comedy podcast is perfect for fans of top 10 lists, pop culture trivia, and friendly arguments you’ll definitely take too seriously. What you waiting for? Join us ranking!

Episodes

  1. 12/29/2025

    That's A Rank, 2025! End of Year Special!

    It's nearly time to raise a glass and welcome in the beginning of a new year... but before you do, the boys are here to wave 2025 off with rankings of the years moments. In this end of year and series 1 episode, the lads rank off their thoughts on what have been the best sporting successes of 2025; the top 3 moments that have had everyone talking TV and the most shocking celebrity deaths of the year. We also have the title deciding rank off between Sam and Callum, locked on 4 episode wins each - only one can walk away as champion ranker! So join us for one last chinwag this year, as we give 2025 one last ranking over. Contact us: Dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com **Enjoying our vibes!? If you do (or even if you don't), please could you give us a rating on your podcast app. It really helps to make us more visible to other fellow rankers out there so they can find us! Thanks in advance!** Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay.

    57 min

  2. 12/22/2025

    Well Pull My Cracker, it's a Christmas Ranking!

    It's that time of year where we get all festive and give Christmas a jolly old ranking over! Sam is steering the sleigh, as the boys unwrap the best (and worst) Christmas traditions, from the top holiday tunes, to the gifts that should have stayed in Santa's workshop. In this festive frolic, Sam talks about impersonating the 'big man', Callum reveals his love for 'Love Actually' and Dean mentions why a garlic bread dish might just be one of the most confusing gifts ever. Plus, find out what the 'must haves' are on a Christmas dinner, top chocolate selections when grabbing the Celebrations tin and which Christmas movie gets the ultimate top spot!What are you waiting for!? Get decking the halls, grab your jingle bells and join us for the most festive ranking of the season! Contact: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com Instagram: search 'dontcomeinpodcast' *Like the cut of our jib!? Then can you do us a favour and take the time to rate us on your podcast app! It'll make us smile and makes it easier for other fellow rankers to find us! Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay.

    54 min

  3. 12/01/2025

    I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' Ranking Special!

    We all love 'I'm A Celeb' so we've given it a ranking over! Cal takes the reigns, as the boys rank over the worst jungle critters to come face to face with and what the ultimate 3 course meal is for when Cal inevitably makes the final three. On top of that, we discuss the current campmates and give our thoughts on our winners, Ant & Decs longevity and how the boys think they'd fare at bushtucker trials... Dean does NOT do spiders. In other news, Sam gets one step closer to having a celebrity friend... wanna know who!? You know where to listen! Gmail: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com **Please can we can ask you to take the time to rate us on your podcast app. We massively appreciate it and it makes it easier for other rankers to find us! Thanks in advance! Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay.

    48 min

  4. 11/10/2025

    Stranded with Music Artists & Movie Scene Music, Ranked!

    Sam is top ranker - which means we're taking another bizarre trip into the realms of his fantasies, as we crash-land on a desert island with a plane full of A-list music artists. Who will survive? Who will sing campfire songs? And who will just chill with Snoop Dogg?  The boys tackle a penalty shootout round of most streamed songs by an artist - and much like their footballing abilities, there's an awful lot of misses. Finally, they rank the songs that made movie scenes iconic. It's a whirlwind of music, mayhem, and movie magic - Tune in for the chaos! Find us on Instagram - search 'dontcomeinpodcast'Email: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com **Like what you hear? Then can you do us a favour and take the time to rate us on your podcast app. We massively appreciate it and it makes it easier for other rankers to join in! Thanks in advance!** Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay.

    45 min

  5. Trailer

    Did he really say a Giraffe!?

    Want a cheeky peek at what animals Cal reckons he could take on (and beat) in a fight!? We ranked it, but clearly underestimated Cals fighting ability on this ranking.... Click, listen, follow and become a member of the rankers. Or just have a laugh at this clip. Gmail: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com Instagram: dontcomeinpodcast

    1 min

  6. Trailer

    Cal: The Zorro of Bread Knife Cutting...

    Here's a little teaser for the ears from last weeks Halloween episode, where Cal ranks zombie slaying weaponry! Give it a play and if it's your kinda thing, then follow us and become a fellow ranker! Gmail: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com Instagram: dontcomeinpodcast

    1 min

  7. 10/27/2025

    Halloween Special Ranking!

    Dean is finally at the wheel, meaning it's the battle you've all been waiting for... Sam vs Callum, in a Halloween-themed episode of "Don't Come In, I'm Ranking." The guys debate the best household items for surviving a zombie apocalypse, rank the most popular Halloween costumes and songs, and assemble their ultimate Halloween 5 - a - side football teams. Monsters and horror characters only. Tune in for the usual humour and a touch of chaos, where the only frightening part are our opinions! Find us on Instagram - search 'dontcomeinpodcast' Or email us at: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com ** Please can we ask you take the time to rate us on your podcast app. We massively appreciate it and it makes it easier for other rankers to find us and join in! Thank you!**Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay.

    42 min

  8. 10/13/2025

    Top Cuisine's & Animal's Cal Could Take In a Fight, Ranked!

    In todays bout of heavy duty ranking, Dean and Sam try to fathom out a ranking order for Cal's top cuisines from around the world. It turns out, Cal really loves his food. There's the return of the ranking wheel for our 'quickfire ranks', as the lads panic rank the best items on a full English and we find out what Cal pops into Greggs for. Then the show goes into full blown chaos mode, as the lads discuss the top animals that Cal could take on and beat in a fight... no animals were harmed during the making of this ranking. Tune in for a fun-filled ride through culinary delights and hypothetical battles, all served with a side of laughter. Don't miss out on the banter and join the conversation! Find us on Instagram - search 'dontcomeinpodcast' Or email us at: dontcomeinpodcast@gmail.com * Please can we ask you take the time to rate us on your podcast app. We massively appreciate it and it makes it easier for other potential rankers to find us! Thank you! * Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

    38 min

  9. 09/23/2025

    Ideal First Dates & Playground Games Ranked!

    The guys are back for another bout of ranking, this time taking on Sam's ideal first date scenarios and favourite classic playground games! There's also a cheeky game of 'quick rank' for you fast rankers out there.  In this episode, the trio debates the merits of romantic walks, cinema outings, and the timeless charm of mini-golf. They also reminisce about playground classics like tag and the carnage that was British Bulldog! Tune in for a light-hearted journey through the art of ranking, where no topic is too big or small. Don't miss out on the fun and games! #DontComeInPodcast #Firstdates #playgroundgames #WillDeanEverWin Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

    40 min

  10. 09/08/2025

    On Me Head! It's a Football Ranking!

    On todays show, the lads cast their rankings over the top transfers of the summer window going into the new season! Cal introduces a new game, where Dean and Sam do their best to make a total shambles of and we rank the premier league forwards that draw similarities to the way Cal plays football... yes, you really did just read that. Tune in to see who becomes this shows 'top ranker'! Don't forget to like, subscribe, follow us and even play along! #DontComeInPodcast #Football #Transferwindow #Ranking Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

    41 min

  11. 08/25/2025

    It's a Karaoke & Reality TV Ranking!

    Dean and Cal go head to head for the coveted status of 'top ranker', as they rank the most overplayed karaoke tunes. We find out just how much Cal enjoys a karaoke duet in blind ranking and in the highly unlikely event that Sam becomes famous.... we rank over the reality TV shows he could see himself featuring on! Tune in to hear their top picks! Don't forget to share your thoughts and play along with the rankings! #KaraokeKings #RealityTV #PodcastFun #DontComeInPodcast #TopRanker Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

    41 min

  12. 08/11/2025

    Lads’ Holiday Special – Essentials & Worst Roommates Ranked!

    Think you’re ready for the ultimate lads’ holiday? Think again. We’re ranking the must-pack essentials for a legendary trip… and naming the hotel roommates who will make you wish you’d stayed home. From the essential poolside ball to the infamous swordfish saga, this episode is packed with hilarious tales and some highly questionable rankings! Tune in for a laugh and find out who takes the crown as this episodes top ranker! #LadsHoliday #DontComeInPodcast Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

    38 min

Trailers

About

Ever wondered what the best festival headliners are? Or the worst movie sequels? In Don’t Come in, I’m Ranking, Dean, Sam and Cal will tackle the big (and very small) questions by ranking everything from music and movies to snacks and sports. Packed with blind ranking challenges, debates, ridiculously poor logic and a bit of banter, this comedy podcast is perfect for fans of top 10 lists, pop culture trivia, and friendly arguments you’ll definitely take too seriously. What you waiting for? Join us ranking!

Information