Our Rough Draft

Tim & Denise

Life is lived in stories. Relationships are built through conversations. We're Denise and Tim. We met while working in Seattle in our twenties and have been writing our story together ever since. Over the years we've built careers, raised three sons, navigated military life, moved from Washington to Arizona, written books, cheered from countless sidelines, and learned that life's biggest lessons are usually found in ordinary conversations. Today, our family is growing in new directions, our two Labrador retrievers keep life interesting, and we're still convinced that summer, travel, sports, and a good story make almost everything better. You'll usually find us around the table with a cup of coffee, a good bourbon, or a glass of wine in hand. Denise tends to notice the meaning woven through everyday moments. Tim naturally looks for the practical lessons and the patterns beneath them. We don't always see the same story in the same way, and somewhere between those two perspectives, a deeper conversation begins. Each week, we start with one simple question and follow it wherever it leads. Sometimes we talk about marriage, family, work, belonging, military life, or the adventures that come with traveling together. Other times we find ourselves laughing, reflecting, or discovering something neither of us expected when we first sat down behind the microphones. We don't have all the answers. We're simply sharing the stories we're still living—and inviting you to bring your own to the conversation. Life rarely unfolds in chronological order. That's why we've organized our conversations by topic instead of episode number—so you can start with whatever's on your mind today. We call it Our Rough Draft because none of us is finished. We're all still learning, growing, revising, and becoming. Every episode ends with The Question, because we believe the best conversations don't end when the podcast does. They begin around your own table.

  1. 13h ago

    Should Leaders Always Eat Last?

    “Leaders eat last is such b******t.” That’s Denise’s opening position. Tim, her Army husband, sees it differently. Drawing on their experiences in the military, corporate leadership, and education, Denise and Tim explore what it means to take care of other people without losing yourself in the process. Tim remembers a night spent chipping ice out of a Starbucks drive-through. Denise recalls learning that staying late as a principal could send a message she never intended. The conversation moves through boundaries, servant leadership, and whether leaders get to show up as full human beings. And underneath the disagreement is a question for any relationship: Can we understand each other better without needing to agree? In this episode: Why “leaders eat last” means different things to each of us.When putting others first helps—and when it gets in the way.What our teams learn from the boundaries we model.Why leadership lessons don’t transfer neatly between the military, businesses, and schools.Making room for emotion, honesty, and different approaches.Having a disagreement without making it your job to win.A conversation for your table What’s a piece of advice everyone seems to love that doesn’t work for you? Tell your partner why, then ask how they see it. Carry it into your week Notice something you have a strong reaction to—a post, a quote, or a familiar saying. Use it to start a conversation with someone you love. See what you learn about each other. Listen to more conversations and find questions to bring to your own table at deniseleighwaters.com.

  2. Oct 20

    What Do We Hope for Our Kids as They Leave Home?

    What Do We Hope for Our Kids as They Leave Home?Denise Waters and Tim reflect on what it feels like to watch their kids step into the world, using a recent college visit for Mason as their starting point. They explore how parents can hold excitement, hope, and worry at the same time—and how differently two people can respond to the same big transition.The conversation grows into a broader reflection on parenting, adventure, and whether the adults in the family are still making room for discovery in their own lives. Key topicsTim’s excitement about the wide-open possibilities ahead, alongside Denise’s practical worries about fit, distance, and logistics.What stood out on a college visit to ASU LA, including its creative spaces for fashion, film, and other arts programs.Why college tours often spark questions about dorms and daily life before parents can take in the larger story of a campus.Whether students should have room to explore and change direction instead of being locked into a narrow path too early.How each parent’s own history can shape the hopes and fears they bring to their children’s futures.Tim’s experience of pursuing a long-held dream by joining the Army—and discovering that some perceived barriers were more manageable than expected.The difference between supporting children’s dreams and projecting your own unfinished hopes onto them.How parents can model curiosity and adventure at any age, rather than only hoping their children will take bold steps.Why talking openly about different perspectives can help couples support one another and avoid future conflict.

  3. Sep 22

    Put Yourself Out There

    In this episode, Denise and Tim begin with football Sunday, cooler Arizona mornings, and the small rituals that mark the changing of a season. From there, the conversation turns toward networking, putting yourself out into the world, and the difference between transactional connection and relationships built over time. Tim reflects on the skills he has developed through facilitation, military service, and moving between veteran and civilian spaces. Denise shares about a week full of brave invitations: hosting a connection gathering, being selected for a storytelling event, and moving forward in a doctoral research poster contest. Buy us a coffee! Together, they explore why traditional networking often feels uncomfortable, how lived experience can be difficult to translate into credentials, and why real community often comes from generosity, repeated presence, and honest feedback. The conversation also moves into lifelong learning, AI in education, manifestation, prayer, signs, and the people who help us see when the door is somewhere other than where we have been pushing. Along the way we talk about: Seahawks football and changing Sunday habitsWhy formatting and punctuation affect how we process meaningFacilitation as a learned skillVeterans, service, and lived experienceThe awkwardness of traditional networking eventsWriting communities and honest feedbackDoctoral research and sharing work publiclyCredentials versus experienceLifelong learning and staying openAI in educationManifestation, prayer, and recognizing signsAsking for the feedback or guidance we can actually hearBuilding relationships that make hard conversations possible If you want to join for Denise's Love, Listen, Tell Stories–register here.

  4. Sep 15

    The List Versus a Plan

    In this episode of Our Rough Draft, Denise and Tim talk about their recent trip to Seattle and what it stirred up about place, memory, spontaneity, and the way our worlds can slowly get smaller if we are not intentional about expanding them. Together, they reflect on returning to Madison Park, visiting Pike Place Market, riding a ferry to Vashon, and remembering the places they loved when they lived in Washington. What begins as a conversation about travel becomes a larger reflection on routines, flexibility, family life, and the difference between having a list of things you want to do and locking yourself into a plan. The conversation also moves into marriage, people-pleasing, and the way unspoken expectations can create tension. Denise and Tim talk honestly about what happens when one person offers an idea and waits for someone else to “volley” it back, and why asking clearly for what we need can feel harder than it should. Along the way we talk about: Returning to Seattle after years awayMadison Park, Pike Place Market, and familiar drives from earlier seasonsWhy we sometimes stop visiting the places we loveHow parenting, work, and routines can shape the size of our worldWanting to be a visitor in your own townChoosing flexibility over being locked into every event or planThe difference between a list and a planWhy dinner is somehow still hard after 30 yearsAdventure cards, botanical gardens, museums, restaurants, and local exploringFerry boats, spontaneity, and the magic of wandering without a tight agendaMaking space to inhabit places instead of just passing through themThe tension between people-pleasing and asking for what you needHow unspoken expectations show up in marriage and family lifeThe idea of “serving” an invitation and needing someone to volley it backWhy direct communication can feel like being bossy when you are trying not to take up too much space Whether you are planning a trip, trying to explore your own town, or learning how to say what you need more clearly, this conversation is an invitation to make the list, loosen the plan, and choose the experiences that help your world stay open.

  5. Sep 8

    What are you still working on?

    In this episode of Our Rough Draft, Denise and Tim celebrate the start of year two by asking what it means to still be a rough draft. Together, they talk about confidence, belonging, work, aging, marriage, parenting adult children, and the parts of ourselves we are still learning how to bring into the room. Denise reflects on the experience of feeling like she had to prove her worth in certain spaces, while Tim shares what he is working on in this season, including caring for his health so his world can stay big. The conversation also moves into marketing your own voice, the way organizations often miss the fullness of the people inside them, and the practice of showing up for each other in marriage without keeping score. Along the way we talk about: - Beginning year two of Our Rough Draft - Why the name “rough draft” still feels true - Confidence, belonging, and feeling like you have a seat at the table - The difference between contributing and proving your worth - Denise’s research on connection, contribution, collaboration, and competence - Showing up as a human first in leadership, work, and relationships - Tim’s desire to stay healthy and keep his world big - Marketing a book, a voice, and a body of work with integrity - Why access matters when people are looking for resources and support - The possibility of inviting guests to share their own rough drafts - Adjusting to new work rhythms and changing definitions of success - Productivity, capacity, technology, and the complexity of modern work - Showing up for each other in marriage without keeping score - Parenting adult children as an ongoing rough draft - Lifelong learning, creativity, and trying new things without needing to be perfect Whether you’re stepping into a new season, learning how to show up more fully, or wondering what part of your life is still in draft mode, this conversation is an invitation to keep becoming without hustling to prove you belong.

  6. Sep 1

    What makes a memory worth keeping?

    In this episode, Denise and Tim celebrate Tim’s 55th birthday and use the occasion to think about birthdays, memory, family stories, and the ways we mark time together. Together, they reflect on the birthdays they remember most, why some memories stay vivid while others disappear, and how years of parenting, deployment, work, and ordinary life can blur together. Along the way, they talk about the value of photo albums and family yearbooks, the beauty of handwritten captions, and the story of Denise’s great-grandmother saying she kept her memories in “a cottage on the beach.” The conversation also moves into what it means to celebrate well, why some people quietly want to be celebrated but struggle to ask for it, and how ordinary lives still hold stories worth telling. Along the way we talk about: Tim turning 55Why childhood birthday memories can be hard to accessThe first birthdays Tim remembers as a fatherDenise’s favorite birthday trip to ItalyCelebrating through travel, food, wine, and shared experiencesHow deployment years shaped memory and family lifeWriting memoir as a way to recover and preserve storiesThe value of family photo albums and yearbooksGranny’s “cottage on the beach” where she kept her memoriesWhy ordinary stories still matterThe tension between wanting celebration and asking for itMaking memories around graduations, transitions, and the empty nest Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, looking back through old photos, or wondering which moments from ordinary life are worth saving, this conversation is an invitation to mark time with more intention, tell the stories you still have, and make room for the memories you want to keep.

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Life is lived in stories. Relationships are built through conversations. We're Denise and Tim. We met while working in Seattle in our twenties and have been writing our story together ever since. Over the years we've built careers, raised three sons, navigated military life, moved from Washington to Arizona, written books, cheered from countless sidelines, and learned that life's biggest lessons are usually found in ordinary conversations. Today, our family is growing in new directions, our two Labrador retrievers keep life interesting, and we're still convinced that summer, travel, sports, and a good story make almost everything better. You'll usually find us around the table with a cup of coffee, a good bourbon, or a glass of wine in hand. Denise tends to notice the meaning woven through everyday moments. Tim naturally looks for the practical lessons and the patterns beneath them. We don't always see the same story in the same way, and somewhere between those two perspectives, a deeper conversation begins. Each week, we start with one simple question and follow it wherever it leads. Sometimes we talk about marriage, family, work, belonging, military life, or the adventures that come with traveling together. Other times we find ourselves laughing, reflecting, or discovering something neither of us expected when we first sat down behind the microphones. We don't have all the answers. We're simply sharing the stories we're still living—and inviting you to bring your own to the conversation. Life rarely unfolds in chronological order. That's why we've organized our conversations by topic instead of episode number—so you can start with whatever's on your mind today. We call it Our Rough Draft because none of us is finished. We're all still learning, growing, revising, and becoming. Every episode ends with The Question, because we believe the best conversations don't end when the podcast does. They begin around your own table.