I feel your pain

I feel your pain
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On August 2nd 2022, I held his hand, the same way I did on our wedding day, when he took his last breath. Exactly one year later, I woke up paralysed, struck by FND. This is not therapy. It is raw, sacred survival. A sanctuary for shattered souls, where grief howls, rage prays, and healing is slow and shared. No platitudes. No pressure to “overcome.” Just real stories, real scars, and a voice whispering: “Me too. This still hurts. Let us sit in the holy dark together.” Welcome to a sanctuary for shattered souls: Where grief is not fixed, it is honoured. Where pain is not silenced, it is sung. Here, we lament loudly, not with advice, but with Psalm-style howls. We honour wounds that still throb…I am not “healed”; I am healing beside you. We reclaim broken dates, August 2nd: death → paralysis → resurrection. Vision & Purpose This is not therapy, not coaching, not preaching. It is witness-bearing… It is about: Public storytelling as communal healing ❤️‍🩹  Amplifying voices of lament in a world that rushes grief 🗣️ Scars as sacred maps for others in darkness 🗺️  Solidarity through testimony, not solutions Format: 15-30-mins weekly episodes; 3 segments: Story, Scripture, Solidarity  I will be starting solo not because my voice is enough, but because His voice in my suffering is the whole point…

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  1. The First Thread of Light: Recognising Resilience

    Episode 1

    The First Thread of Light: Recognising Resilience

    Season 3: The Turning-Integration, Purpose and Peace  This season focuses on the gradual shift from surviving to integrating grief, finding purpose in the pain, and defining a new kind of peace. What does resilience look like after years of loss? It often appears not as a sudden victory, but as a quiet moment of unexpected beauty that your heart is finally ready to receive. In this first episode of The Turning, I share the story of a train journey from York to Glasgow, where the breathtaking view of the North Sea near Berwick-upon-Tweed became a sacred mirror, reflecting back a strength I didn't know I had. Through the ancient promise that God's mercies are new every morning, we will explore how grace meets us in motion, and I will share the simple journaling practise that began with writing down that first, guilt-tinged moment of wonder.

    19 min
  2. Sacred Scars: How Our Wounds Become Our Ministry

    Episode 2

    Sacred Scars: How Our Wounds Become Our Ministry

    Can the very wounds that  break us become the place from which we serve others? In this episode, I share the “burning bush” moment that transformed my deepest pain into a clear calling, the moment I knew I had to start this podcast. It was not a voice from the clouds, but a quiet, undeniable knowing that rose from the scar tissue of loss, illness, and grief. Through the lens of 2 Corinthians, we will explore how God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. I will share how I began to see my own wounds not as marks of failure, but as sacred credentials for a ministry I never asked for, but was uniquely prepared to carry.

    18 min
  3. Reparenting Myself: The Fight for My Own Care

    Episode 3

    Reparenting Myself: The Fight for My Own Care

    What happens when the path to healing is not offered to you, but has to be forged by you? This episode moves beyond the simple choice to seek therapy, into the raw reality of being told there was "nothing to be done" for my trauma-induced neurological condition. I share the isolating experience of being discharged from NHS care with only a vague hope that my brain might "decide" to heal, and the daunting choice I faced: accept that prognosis, or become the fierce steward and advocate for my own mind and body. This is the story of reparenting myself through private oxygen therapy, infrared treatments, and counseling I had to pay for, not as a deviation from faith, but as one of its most demanding acts of trust and perseverance.

    20 min
  4. The New Normal: Rebuilding a Life of Meaning

    Episode 4

    The New Normal: Rebuilding a Life of Meaning

    What happens when "getting back to normal" is no longer possible because the old normal is gone forever? This episode is about the slow, intentional work of building a new life from the ground up, not on the ashes of the old, but on the sacred ground where the old life once stood. I will share what my life looks like now, not as a return, but as a reinvention. Through the promise of Isaiah 43, I will explore how God does not  just restore; He makes things new. In solidarity I will share the quiet, practical steps that helped me rebuild an identity and a daily rhythm that could honestly hold both my loss and my life

    19 min
  5. Forgiveness: Releasing the people who did not show up

    Episode 5

    Forgiveness: Releasing the people who did not show up

    Forgiveness can feel impossible when the wound comes with a laugh. This episode confronts the deepest cut: betrayal by those closest to you. I share the painful journey of forgiving not just a silent church, but close relatives and friends I had supported for years, people who, when FND forced me to close my business, did not just vanish. Some called to ask what they could now get from me; others laughed and mocked my downfall. We will grapple with the hard command in Matthew 6 to forgive, not as a pardon for their cruelty, but as a lifeline for our own souls. We will also distinguish between the internal work of forgiveness and the external choice of reconciliation, and practice letting go of the emotional debt no one will ever repay.

    26 min
  6. Final Solo Episode: A Culmination, Not a Conclusion

    Episode 6

    Final Solo Episode: A Culmination, Not a Conclusion

    A Fond Farewell to Solo Stories: Closing This Chapter, Not the Book In this special and significant episode, I bring the solo storytelling journey of I Feel Your Pain to a close. After three seasons of mapping the Foundations of loss, Wrestling with raw anger, and Turning toward integrated peace, this chapter of my voice alone, sharing my story each week, comes to a natural end. I share why this pause is necessary as I turn my full focus to publishing the book, Perfect Peace in Brokenness, which these episodes have helped to birth. This is not goodbye, but a "see you later." I express my deepest gratitude to you, my listeners, for being sacred witnesses to my healing, and I share a hopeful glimpse of what is to come: a future return to the mic to host conversations with other voices and stories. Join me for this reflective culmination, a moment to honour how far we have come and to anticipate the new ways our community will grow.

    8 min
See All Season 3 (6)

About

On August 2nd 2022, I held his hand, the same way I did on our wedding day, when he took his last breath. Exactly one year later, I woke up paralysed, struck by FND. This is not therapy. It is raw, sacred survival. A sanctuary for shattered souls, where grief howls, rage prays, and healing is slow and shared. No platitudes. No pressure to “overcome.” Just real stories, real scars, and a voice whispering: “Me too. This still hurts. Let us sit in the holy dark together.” Welcome to a sanctuary for shattered souls: Where grief is not fixed, it is honoured. Where pain is not silenced, it is sung. Here, we lament loudly, not with advice, but with Psalm-style howls. We honour wounds that still throb…I am not “healed”; I am healing beside you. We reclaim broken dates, August 2nd: death → paralysis → resurrection. Vision & Purpose This is not therapy, not coaching, not preaching. It is witness-bearing… It is about: Public storytelling as communal healing ❤️‍🩹  Amplifying voices of lament in a world that rushes grief 🗣️ Scars as sacred maps for others in darkness 🗺️  Solidarity through testimony, not solutions Format: 15-30-mins weekly episodes; 3 segments: Story, Scripture, Solidarity  I will be starting solo not because my voice is enough, but because His voice in my suffering is the whole point…

Information

  • Creator
    I feel your pain
  • Episodes
    20
  • Seasons
    3
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    I feel your pain