“Executive presence isn’t about commanding a room in someone else’s style — it’s about owning your presence and letting it work for you.” The Lesson I Didn’t See Coming in Laguna Beach Early in my career I found myself in Laguna Beach, California, sitting in a small executive presence training called The Power of Your Presence. I wasn’t even supposed to be there- I was literally there by chance because my boss had to cancel at the last minute, and I went in his place. At the time, I was a Director leading talent acquisition at Starbucks, and the training was primarily targeted towards VPs and C-suite executives. It was a very intimate training - there were only six of us, and though I don’t remember who the other five people were in the room, I remember I had the smallest title in the room, I was the only woman in the room, and the only person of color, so surely I was in the wrong place. However, the facilitator, Marie Moran, always made me feel that I belonged there. Her one-on-one coaching, set against the backdrop of beautiful Laguna, became a pivotal moment in my career. I realized that I could hold my own in a room full of people much more senior than I. Marie helped me realize that my source of internal power was unique, that my story was unique, and that my potential was real. She saw me, and at the same time, I saw myself. The fact that my boss sent me in his place was evidence that I had sponsors and great mentors, but Laguna Beach is where I started to really believe in myself. Marie’s approach was groundbreaking for the time: she videotaped our interactions, dissecting everything from where we sat to how we spoke, when we spoke and what we did with our hands. She applied the same logic that athletes used to review their game tapes, but instead of plays, we were dissecting our presence, our confidence, our delivery - our ability to hold space. It was terrifying and absolutely transformative. Two lessons from that week still shape how I lead today: * Identifying my sources of power * Be intentional in how I show up The Power Behind Your Presence Marie taught us that everyone draws influence from different sources of power. * Intellectual Power — connecting dots quickly, synthesizing ideas, being the “problem solver” others rely on. * Relational Power — connecting effortlessly, reading a room, making people feel seen and included, harnessing the power of social harmony. * Emotional Power — staying calm in crisis, telling stories that move people, creating psychological safety. My natural sources of power were intellectual and relational: I prided myself on being the ultimate problem solver, and because I am genuinely curious about others, I leveraged my curiosity and cultural intelligence to be a positive energizer amongst people. My growth edge was emotional power, because before Marie’s coaching, I was very private and guarded—storytelling, vulnerability, and bringing people along with heart were not my strengths. I would over-rely on facts and charisma, but keep things fairly shallow when it came to emotional connection. Knowing this about myself at a young age gave me a compass: lean on my strengths, but also build muscles where I was weak. WAIT: The Habit That Changed How I Spoke One of the first shifts I made after that training was deceptively simple. I had a habit of being the first to speak in meetings and often spoke too much. Someone once told me, “If you’re always the one talking, people stop listening.” Marie gave me a tool that I implemented immediately. It was an ingenious little acronym called W.A.I.T., which I would write at the top of my Levenger CIRCA Disc notebook (remember those- they were all the rage back then, and apparently they are still in business), but I digress. The acronym stood for: Why Am I Talking? However, the acronym also served another purpose. It reminded me to WAIT before I spoke, and I forced myself to pause for five minutes before weighing in. This allowed me to centre my intention, spend more time connecting the dots, which meant leveraging one of my powers and being more strategic about the situational context. The pause also gave others space. The result was immediate: people noticed. My contributions landed with more weight. I went from being the eager voice in the room to the one who could move the entire conversation forward with impact. The Myth of Executive Presence When you Google “executive presence,” the words you’ll see are things like command a room, gravitas, and poise. I would agree with the components above, but too often, executive presence is reduced to a stereotype: a 6’2 “white male who looks like he belongs on the cover of GQ and speaks like a rockstar front man. Yes, bias plays a role in how presence is perceived. But here’s the truth: executive presence isn’t about fitting a mould, it’s about knowing and harnessing your unique presence. Warmth and Strength: The Real Balancing Act Another overlooked dimension of executive presence is the balance between warmth and strength. Lean too far into strength and you risk being seen as intimidating or unapproachable. Lean too far into warmth and you risk being underestimated or overlooked. The leaders who embody true presence know how to hold both at once. The superpower that allows you to do this? Emotional Intelligence (EQ) + Social Intelligence (SQ) + Cultural Intelligence (CQ) * EQ is your ability to understand and regulate your own emotions while staying attuned to the emotions of others. It’s what allows you to stay grounded in a crisis and adapt your communication with compassion and wisdom. * SQ is your ability to read the room and navigate social context- understanding group dynamics, knowing when to speak, when to listen, and how to bring people along. * CQ is your ability to adapt to cultural tendencies, norms and customs. As a senior leader, you will likely be working in a global context. If you can layer cultural intelligence into your presence, you will garner even greater respect, credibility, and trust. Together, EQ, SQ and CQ create the invisible thread that makes people want to follow you. They help you project confidence without arrogance, authority without coldness, and authenticity without oversharing. And here’s an important truth: projecting warmth doesn’t mean going over the top. If you’re an introvert reading this and sinking deeper into your chair, take heart. Some of the most powerful executives I’ve witnessed have come from leaders who were deeply introverted. They weren’t the loudest voices in the room, but they had extraordinary EQ, SQ and CQ. They projected warmth by making others feel seen and heard. They knew what to say, how to say it, and — most importantly — when to say it. Often, their vocal warmth came through in a lower pitch and softer volume, which set a calm, congenial tone. You don’t need to be the rockstar front person to master this balance. Warmth and strength can be expressed in a style that’s authentic to you. However, there is a caveat - you can be an introvert and command a room, but you can’t be a silent leader. Meaning, if you struggle to have a voice, use your voice, and know how to harness the power of your perspective - this will always be an issue. My Definition of Executive Presence If I had to boil it down:Executive presence is harnessing your unique personhood and personality with confidence and humility. It’s the ability to carry and navigate conversations across various contexts successfully, thereby enhancing performance and conveying intentional authenticity. How to Strengthen Your Presence So how do you build it? Start with these steps: * Identify your source of power. * Are you naturally intellectual, relational, or emotional? Which do you lean on most? Which feels least natural? * Observe how you show up. * How do you sit? Where do you place your hands? What’s your pacing when you speak? Try recording yourself in a presentation and watch it back. I know it’s a major cringe, but trust me - do it. * Experiment with intentional practices * Write W.A.I.T. in your notebook before meetings to identify/clarify your intention- why are you in the room? Where? How do you add value? * Pause before speaking. * Use storytelling to bring warmth and relatability. * Test small physical shifts, posture, eye contact, and tone. * Stretch into your growth edges. * If you’re intellectual, practice being more relational. * If you’re relational, practice slowing down and anchoring ideas. * If you’re emotional, practice blending vulnerability with clarity. Presence Before Executive Presence Here’s the real takeaway: before you can improve your executive presence, you need to understand your presence. It’s about being intentional with what makes you powerful and learning to flex beyond your default. Executive presence isn’t about commanding a room in someone else’s style. It’s about carrying yourself in a way that reflects who you truly are, with confidence and care, in every room you walk into. To get you started on your executive presence journey, I have created an easy “Executive Presence- Self Assessment” adapted from Sylvia Ann Hewlett’s HBR Article, The New Rules of Executive Presence. It's not a three-day intensive training with 1:1 feedback, but it will get you started. You can download it below. Until Next Time. Take Care of Yourselves and Those Around you. In Partnership, Nabeela Was this helpful? Let me know what you think? Leave a comment, like or share. I love learning from reader feedback. 🎙️BIG NEWS: The Re-Imagine Success Podcast is (almost) here! I’m so excited to have spent last week recording the first five episodes of the Re-Imagine Success Podcast. I was in Atlanta with some fantastic people, where we explored how we define and navigate success across the domains of our lives. In just a few weeks,
