What if you could make love with life—even when life isn't going the way you want it to? What would it mean to meet change, uncertainty, endings, and even suffering with curiosity instead of resistance? In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with Crystal Dawn, a non-dual shamanic tantra teacher, to explore the 13 Kali practice from the Krama tradition—a contemplative practice that traces the cycles of life from creation and sustaining, through dissolution and savoring, into the deeper layers of our beliefs, identity, awareness, and freedom. At the heart of our conversation is a simple question: How do we make love with life when life is hard? Crystal shares how curiosity and surrender can change the way we meet difficult moments. Instead of immediately trying to fix what's happening, what becomes possible when we pause, notice where we're contracting, take a breath, and ask, What's here for me now? What can I learn from this? From there, we enter the world of the 13 Kalis. The first four Kalis reveal the cycles of creation, sustaining, dissolution, and savoring. Crystal offers a powerful perspective on endings: rather than rushing toward whatever comes next, what if we learned to rest in completion—to let something fully dissolve before reaching for the new? We explore how this practice applies not only to spiritual practice, but to relationships, work, identity, grief, and the ordinary transitions of being human. Crystal also shares the deeply personal story of losing her mother and the unexpected grief that followed. What emerged through that experience was a new understanding of vulnerability—and the discovery that allowing ourselves to be held by others can be part of the surrender life is asking of us. From there, the 13 Kalis move inward, into thought, belief, conditioning, and identity. We explore what happens when the innocence and awe of childhood become obscured by the stories we learn about who we are, whether we're good enough, and whether we're safe. Crystal describes these mental patterns as a kind of cage—and shares what happened when she recognized that the cage was no longer there. Eventually, the practice moves beyond the mind toward awareness, stillness, the void, timelessness, and a deeper freedom that doesn't depend on circumstances being a certain way. This is a conversation about endings, beginnings, grief, conditioning, surrender, and the possibility of meeting all of life with greater curiosity, compassion, and presence. What You'll Explore Making love with life: Meeting difficult experiences with curiosity and surrender rather than resistance The cycle of life: Creation, sustaining, dissolution, and savoring—and how these cycles are constantly unfolding around us The wisdom of endings: What becomes possible when we slow down and rest in completion Savoring life: Becoming present to the flow of experience rather than resisting it Working with resistance: How noticing contraction and taking a breath can interrupt habitual reactions Grief and vulnerability: Crystal's experience of losing her mother and what grief taught her about surrender and allowing herself to be vulnerable Innocence and awe: Reconnecting with the sense of wonder and openness we naturally experience as children The stories that become our cage: How conditioning, identity, fear, doubt, and beliefs about ourselves can obscure our deeper nature Moments of grace: What happens when the mind suddenly becomes quiet and we experience peace, freedom, or pure presence Working with the Kalis in daily life: How Crystal approaches the practice through meditation, imagery, and self-inquiry About Crystal Dawn Crystal Dawn is a non-dual shamanic tantra teacher whose work draws from the Krama tradition and the wider traditions of Kashmir Shaivism and non-dual tantra. Connect with Crystal Dawn Website: https://tantraversity.com/ Instagram: @crystaldawnmorris Connect with Us IG: @gardenofbecomingpodcast Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com
