Garden of Becoming

Nallieli Santamaria
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast about becoming more whole and unapologetically alive. Discover somatic healing alongside tantra, astrophysics alongside vision quests, the science of HRV alongside the healing power of poetry. This isn't self-improvement. It's self-reclamation. For people willing to face their shadow and brave enough to hold more joy. Come as you are. Emerge more wildly you. New episodes weekly.

  1. Jun 4

    The Trade We Make for Love: Reclaiming the Parts of Yourself You Left Behind | Francesca Gentille

    Who did you have to become to be loved? Most of us make an early, almost invisible trade — belonging for authenticity, love for self-abandonment. And the parts of us we exile in that trade don’t disappear. They go underground. Where they quietly shape our patterns of desire, conflict, and connection. In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with clinical sexologist and relationship counselor Francesca Gentille to explore what it actually takes to reclaim those lost pieces of ourselves and bring them back into wholeness. We explore the hidden doorways back to the disowned self: our dreams, our attractions, and our triggers — each one offering a different way back to what we’ve rejected or forgotten. From there, we move into the practical art of inner mediation: how to recognize the different voices, needs, and impulses within us, and create real collaboration between them instead of internal fragmentation. And we go into what this looks like in real relationships — including conflict repair, accountability, and how understanding both our own inner parts and those of our partner can open new dimensions of intimacy, creativity, and erotic possibility. Francesca also shares her own lived journey from love addiction and emotional entanglement into what she calls an “inner boardroom” — a lived structure of inner leadership guided by a nurturer, an integrating adult, and the deeper voice of the soul. This is a conversation for anyone who has felt the cost of self-abandonment in love and is ready to explore what becomes possible when no part of you is left outside the relationship. What You’ll Explore The early trade between belonging and authenticity,  and how it shapes adult love patternsWhy dreams, attraction, and emotional triggers act as doorways to disowned parts of the selfHow to practice inner mediation between competing inner voices and desiresWhat it means to bring “parts work” into real relationship dynamicsConflict repair, accountability, and relational integrity in intimate partnershipHow inner integration expands intimacy, creativity, and erotic possibility About Francesca Gentille Francesca Gentille is a clinical sexologist, relationship counselor, and shamanic practitioner working with sexuality, trauma, and relational healing. Her work bridges depth psychology, somatic awareness, and shamanic frameworks, supporting people in reclaiming disowned aspects of self and transforming relational patterns at their root. Her work spans sexuality, trauma recovery, sacred sexuality, non-monogamy, relationship repair, and embodied emotional integration. Connect with Francesca: Website: www.francescagentille.com Instagram: @francescagentille Connect with The Garden of Becoming Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcastEmail: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this conversation resonates, share it with someone exploring love, sexuality, or self-integration through a deeper lens — and follow the show for new episodes each week.

    1h 10m

  2. Apr 27

    No Sex. No Porn. No Distraction. What Men Discover When They Stop Escaping Themselves | Hans Morgenstern

    Most of us don’t realize how much of our lives are shaped by subtle forms of escape. Scrolling.Reaching out.Seeking validation.Even the way we relate to attraction and connection. But what happens when all of that is taken away? In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with Hans Morgenstern, a relationship coach who guides men through periods of intentional celibacy—not just abstaining from sex, but stepping away from pornography, social media, dating, and even certain emotional dynamics with women. What emerges isn’t just discipline.It’s confrontation. Hans shares how these periods of “unbinding” reveal the unconscious patterns that often live beneath connection—hidden desires, emotional dependencies, and what he calls “covert contracts” in relationships. We explore what it really means to become a trustable man—someone who is grounded, present, and in integrity—not just in behavior, but in intention. This conversation goes beyond mindset and into the body— into the urges, the resistance, and the emotions that surface when there’s nothing left to distract you from yourself. We talk about withdrawal, desire, emotional entanglement, and the difference between genuine intimacy and unconscious need. This episode is about learning to sit with yourself…to face what you’ve been avoiding…and to discover the kind of freedom that can only emerge when you stop reaching outside yourself. What You’ll Explore: The Cost of Escape How habits like porn, social media, and emotional entanglement keep us from feeling what’s actually thereWhy removing these outlets can trigger intense withdrawal, resistance, and discomfortThe deeper question beneath it all: what are you avoiding—and why? Desire, Triggers & Emotional Mastery How to work with horniness, anger, and overwhelm without acting them out or suppressing themThe role of the nervous system in shaping attraction, reactivity, and relational patternsPractical tools and embodied practices to stay present with intensity and move through it From Patterns to Presence The hidden dynamics beneath connection: validation, approval-seeking, and unconscious contractsHow early attachment wounds shape who you’re drawn to—and how you show up in loveWhat becomes possible when you stop escaping yourself and start relating from grounded presence About Hans Morgenstern Hans Morgenstern is an attachment-based relationship coach who helps men and couples break unconscious relational patterns and build emotionally secure, authentic love. He is best known for The Unbinding™ — a three-month personal polarity integration process for men who feel ready for a real relationship but keep arriving at the same dead ends. Through intentional celibacy, somatic practice, and men's group work, The Unbinding guides men out of validation-seeking and compulsive distraction and into the grounded presence that makes deep connection possible. The goal, as Hans puts it, is to become He Who Must Be Trusted — a man whose word and presence are unshakable. Beyond men's work, Hans coaches individuals and couples through the full landscape of conscious relationship — from understanding attachment wounds and healing early emotional patterns to navigating triggers and building love that feels steady, alive, and real. Drawing from decades of experience in yoga, meditation, and neo-tantric practice, he brings body-based emotional processing and nervous system awareness into all of his work. Website: hansmorningstar.comInstagram: @hans_morgenstern Connect with The Garden of Becoming Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcast Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this conversation resonated, share it with someone navigating relationships, desire, or their own patterns of escape. And if you’re enjoying the show, follow and leave a review—it helps these conversations reach more people on the path of becoming. New episodes drop weekly.

    1h 2m

  3. Apr 9

    Moving Through Rage, Grief, and the Parts That Struggle with Forgiveness | Reverend Carlton Teabout

    Forgiveness is one of the most challenging—and transformative—practices on the path to inner freedom. I sit down with Reverend Carlton Teabout of the Agape International Spiritual Center to uncover what it truly takes to forgive using the 3 Pillars of Forgiveness. In this vulnerable conversation, Reverend Carlton guides me through my own edges around grief, rage, and self-compassion. We explore how to move through anger, make peace with unmet expectations, and transform your relationship with yourself and the world through self-forgiveness. We Explore: How to practice self-forgiveness and liberate yourself from guilt and resentmentThe 3 Pillars of Forgiveness explained step by stepTechniques to navigate grief, anger, and resentment without suppressing emotionsHow to heal from painful experiences and harvest the good from life’s challengesSimple, actionable ways to incorporate forgiveness practices into your daily life Connect with Reverend Carlton Teabout:Website: https://revcarlton.com/ Connect with The Garden of Becoming:Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcastEmail: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this episode resonated, share it with someone ready to move through anger, grief, and resentment, and follow the show for weekly conversations about authenticity, healing, and transformation.

    32 min

  4. Mar 28

    Money & the Subconscious Roots of Scarcity | Michelle Masters, NLP

    Most of us think about money in terms of bank accounts and budgets — but the story of your financial life runs much deeper. It’s shaped by beliefs, family loyalties, and unconscious patterns you may not even realize you’re carrying. In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with Michelle Masters, personal development coach and creator of Money Magic. Michelle blends neuroscience, NLP, family constellation work, and transformative healing modalities to help people transform their relationship with money at the root. We explore the three hidden forces shaping your financial reality: subconscious beliefs about money, your sense of self-worth, and the invisible family and ancestral loyalties that can keep you stuck in cycles of struggle. In one of the most powerful moments of our conversation, Michelle guides me through a live process, uncovering an inherited pattern from my father that I didn’t even realize I was carrying. This episode is about safety, self-worth, and what becomes possible when you stop carrying what was never yours. What You’ll Explore Discover the three hidden forces shaping your financial realityUnderstand why conscious attempts at change often failLearn how early experiences—even before birth—shape what you believe you deserveExperience a live process for uncovering inherited money patternsSee how rewiring your subconscious can shift your relationship with abundance, safety, and worth About Michelle Masters Michelle Masters is a personal development trainer and coach with over 30 years of experience helping people create deep, lasting change. Her work blends neuroscience, NLP, family constellation therapy, and advanced healing modalities — all focused on transforming subconscious patterns at their root. She is the creator of the Money Magic workshop and book, and is often called The Coaches’ Coach for her work with top leaders and practitioners in the personal development field. Website: https://wiredformagic.com/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@michellemastersnlp Connect with The Garden of Becoming Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcast | Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this conversation resonated, share it with someone ready to transform their relationship with money, and follow the show to catch new episodes each week. New episodes drop weekly.

    38 min

  5. Mar 21

    Embodied Leadership: When Mind and Body Finally Align | Aaron Kleinerman

    In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with embodiment teacher and leadership guide Aaron Kleinerman to explore the practice of embodied leadership—the integration of mind, body, emotion, and presence. Aaron shares how many of our reactions and relationship patterns are rooted in early experiences that still live in the body, and how learning to listen to somatic signals can transform the way we lead, love, and show up in the world. We also dive into the dynamics of inner masculine and feminine energy, how these polarities influence relationships and leadership, and why cultivating inner union is the foundation for authentic power. This conversation is an invitation to move beyond intellectual understanding—and into the deeper wisdom of the body. What You’ll Explore What Embodied Leadership Really Means Why leadership begins with the ability to listen to your bodyThe disconnect between intellectual understanding and embodied actionHow somatic cues reveal unresolved patterns from the pastWhy We Keep Repeating the Same Patterns How childhood experiences shape adult relationships and decision-makingWhy your body may still be operating from a younger version of youThe role of triggers as invitations for deeper healingMasculine & Feminine Energies in Leadership The difference between penetrative (masculine) and receptive (feminine) leadershipWhy healthy leadership requires both structure and flowHow imbalance between these polarities shows up in work and relationshipsInner Union and Relationships The difference between interdependence and codependenceHow projecting unmet parts of ourselves onto partners creates conflictWhy developing your inner masculine and feminine leads to more conscious relationshipsPractical Embodiment Practices A daily practice for integrating expression and presenceHow movement and sound help release stored emotional energySimple partner practices that deepen connection and awareness A Practice You Can Try Aaron shares a powerful exercise called Everythingness and Nothingness: Five minutes of expressionMove, shake, breathe, sound—allow whatever energy is present in your body to express itself freely.Five minutes of stillnessSit in silent meditation, simply witnessing your thoughts, sensations, and surroundings without judgment.This practice strengthens both polarities of embodiment: the freedom to express and the capacity to witness. About Aaron Kleinerman Aaron Kleinerman is an embodiment teacher, retreat facilitator, and leadership guide working at the intersection of somatic awareness, relationship dynamics, and personal transformation. With nearly two decades in the fields of personal development and embodiment, Aaron helps individuals and practitioners move beyond intellectual understanding and into lived, embodied wisdom. He facilitates retreats and workshops around the world focused on leadership, polarity, relationships, and deep inner integration. Aaron is also the author of The Embodied Man, a book exploring how men—and the masculine energy within all of us—can reconnect with emotional intelligence, presence, and authentic power. Connect with Aaron: Website: https://aaronkleinerman.com/ Instagram: @thesoulnavigator Book: The Embodied Man: Mastering Masculinity in the Heart, Heart & Balls Connect with The Garden of Becoming: Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcast Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone exploring leadership, relationships, or embodiment. And if you’re enjoying The Garden of Becoming, please follow the show and leave a review—it helps these conversations reach more people on the path of healing and becoming. New episodes drop weekly.

    43 min

  6. Mar 16

    Your Voice Is a Portal: Sound, Breath & the Courage to Take Up Space | Kris Meyers

    Most of us think about our voice only in terms of communication. But the voice is also vibration, breath, sensation, and emotion moving through the body. When we learn to work with sound consciously, it can become a powerful way to release stored emotions, reconnect with pleasure, and reclaim parts of ourselves that were silenced. In this episode of The Garden of Becoming, I sit down with ritual performance artist and vocal guide Kris Meyers to explore how reclaiming the voice can open doors to creativity, confidence, ancestral connection, and a deeper sense of presence in the world. This conversation is about using your voice as a way of coming home to yourself. What You’ll Learn The Voice as a Path to Healing How sound and vibration help release emotions stored in the bodyWhy many people feel shame or fear around expressing their voiceHow simple sounds like humming or sighing can shift your nervous system Breath, Expression, and the Body–Voice Connection Why full, grounded breath is the foundation of a free voice and how this translates to taking up space in daily lifeThe surprising relationship between the jaw and the pelvisWhy physical holding patterns often limit vocal expression Voice as a Gateway to Pleasure, Aliveness, and Spiritual Connection How making sound amplifies sensation, emotional release and pleasure in the bodyWhy reclaiming your voice can reconnect you with creativity and vitalityExperiencing voice as a bridge between the physical and the sacred About Kris Meyers  Walking the path of vocal authenticity and freedom for the benefit and liberation of all beings, everywhere, Kris — also known as Kreatress — is a ritual performance artist, vocal alchemist, and multi-instrumentalist with both a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Voice Performance. Kris is guided by her ancestors, who have gifted her this voice, as well as her teachers and mentors in the flesh. Deeply inspired by what we call Nature — that which lives both within and around us — her perspective is simultaneously animistic, curious, and deep.This devotion expresses itself through music, one-on-one work, immersive in-person experiences, and online group containers. Through these offerings, Kris co-creates transformative spaces around the world where people can rediscover the power of their voice. Connect with Kris Website: https://kreatress.squarespace.comInstagram: @kreatress_music Connect with The Garden of Becoming Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcastEmail: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who might be ready to reclaim their voice. And if you’re enjoying The Garden of Becoming, please follow the show and leave a review—it helps these conversations reach more people on the path of healing and becoming. New episodes drop weekly. 🌿

    42 min

  7. Mar 8

    How Adolescent Wounds Live in Your Adult Relationships | Dr. Stacy Ellis

    Adolescence is one of the most formative—and often most misunderstood—chapters of our lives. It's the time when we begin asking the deepest questions of identity: Who am I? Where do I belong? What parts of me are safe to show the world? But for many of us, those questions were answered under intense social pressure, fear of rejection, and a desperate need to fit in. The strategies we developed to survive those years—shape-shifting, hiding parts of ourselves, seeking approval—don’t simply disappear when we grow up. They quietly follow us into our adult relationships. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Stacy Ellis joins me to explore how the unfinished business of adolescence continues to shape the way we love, connect, and show up in the world today. Drawing from over fifteen years of clinical practice and her work facilitating transformational workshops, Stacy shares why adolescence is a critical developmental window—and how revisiting that chapter with compassion can unlock profound healing. Together, we talk about belonging, authenticity, and what it really takes to reclaim the parts of ourselves that learned they had to hide. What You’ll Learn: Why Adolescence Shapes Who We Become How teenage social dynamics wire the nervous system around belonging and rejectionWhy the identities we formed in adolescence still influence our adult livesThe long-term cost of performing for belongingThe Masks We Learn to Survive How strategies like the people-pleaser, rebel, or comedian help us gain acceptance, yet disconnects us from our authentic selfThe difference between true belonging and social acceptanceHealing the Inner Teenager Why adolescent wounds often get overlooked in personal growth workHow revisiting teenage experiences can close emotional loops that still affect relationshipsPractices that help integrate the parts of ourselves that felt rejected or misunderstoodAbout Dr. Stacy Ellis Dr. Ellis is a trauma-informed psychologist with two master’s degrees and a PsyD, and professional training in EMDR, TRE, NLP, EFT, IFS, somatic therapies, breathwork, and sound healing. Her specialties include trauma, inner child and adolescent work, forensic psychology, LGBTQIA support, addiction medicine, pain management, alternative relationship styles, and nervous system regulation. Connect with Stacy: https://drstacyellis.com/https://liberationworkshops.com/ If this conversation resonated, share it with someone who might still be carrying pieces of their teenage story. And if you’re enjoying The Garden of Becoming, please follow the show and leave a review—it helps these conversations reach more people on the path of healing and becoming.

    35 min

  8. Feb 19

    3 Days Alone in the Desert: What a Vision Quest Reveals About You | Lars Borgmann

    What if the person you've been performing your whole life isn't actually you? In this expansive conversation, Lars Borgmann — a therapist and vision quest guide with nearly 30 years of experience leading people into radical solitude — shares what happens when you strip away every mirror, every audience, every distraction, and sit alone in the desert with nothing left but yourself. Lars found his way to the desert in his early twenties, when three days of absolute solitude dismantled everything he thought he knew about who he was. What he discovered — and has since guided hundreds of others to discover — is that most of us have been living from the outside in, building our identities around how others see us rather than who we actually are. This episode is about the courage it takes to stop performing, the beauty and terror of true solitude, and what becomes possible when you finally meet yourself without the noise. What You'll Explore: The Outside-In Illusion: How we unconsciously build identity around other people's perception of usWhat happens to your sense of self when there's no one left to perform forWhy the desert is one of the most powerful mirrors available to usSolitude vs. Loneliness: The critical difference between isolation and true solitudeWhy most people are terrified of empty space — and what that fear is actually aboutThe ancient hermetic tradition of Desert Fathers and why solitude appears in every spiritual tradition across culturesThe Desert as Initiator: Why Lars keeps returning to Sinai, the Sahara, and Siwa on the Libyan borderHow the desert functions as a shamanic container — where everything becomes communicationThe woman who dreamed of falling into the desert her whole life — and what happened when she finally wentFear, Projection, and the Caged Self: How our deepest internal fears get projected onto external images — snakes, darkness, death, strangersThe self-installed cage: how conditioning limits us without our conscious agreementWhat it means to be freed from fear you didn't even know was running youTwo Gurus — Love and Your Nervous System: Why Lars gave full authority to his nervous system as a guiding principleThe difference between love as something you hunt down versus love as something you cultivate from within"If you are looking for love, you won't find it — because you're looking where it is not"Coming Home: The wild disorientation of returning to modern life after deep solitudeWhat the desert reveals about how much stuff we need to feel safeWhy integration is its own initiation About Lars Borgmann: Lars Borgmann is a therapist and vision quest guide who has been leading people into desert solitude for nearly 30 years. His work draws on the hermetic tradition of the Desert Fathers, shamanic practice, and somatic therapy. Lars has guided vision quests in the Sinai, the Sahara, Siwa, Morocco, and Greece. He works through personal referral and the law of attraction — those who need to find him, do. To connect with Lars, send us an email at hello@gardenofbecoming.com and we'll pass along his contact information. Connect with the Garden of Becoming: Instagram: @gardenofbecomingpodcast Email: hello@gardenofbecoming.com If this episode moved you, please leave a review — it helps others find their way here. And share it with someone who's ready to stop performing and start listening.

    41 min
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5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

A podcast about becoming more whole and unapologetically alive. Discover somatic healing alongside tantra, astrophysics alongside vision quests, the science of HRV alongside the healing power of poetry. This isn't self-improvement. It's self-reclamation. For people willing to face their shadow and brave enough to hold more joy. Come as you are. Emerge more wildly you. New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    Nallieli Santamaria
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    27
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Nallieli Santamaria
  • Show Website
    Garden of Becoming