We're BACK! And, so is this hot mess. The episode opens with Amy and Anne exhausted in the kitchen after baby John has apparently decided that sleep is for people without consequences. Meanwhile, Ben apologizes to his dad for yelling at him and is rewarded not only with his job back at the butcher shop, but with the news that he can spend the summer working in Italy. Naturally, Ben’s first thought is, “Can I bring my teenage girlfriend and her infant?” His dad gently suggests that maybe Ben should use the trip to think about his own future instead. Ben agrees… and then immediately calls Adrian for relationship advice, because that has historically gone so well. Adrian tells him he’d be an idiot to leave Amy alone in America with Ricky, announces that she hates him, and hangs up. Helpful! Grace, meanwhile, decides she’s ready to return to school after her dad’s death. Unfortunately, Grant High welcomes her back in the only way it knows how: with absolutely no boundaries whatsoever. Everyone offers condolences, but then somehow the conversation turns into people telling Grace about losing their virginity. One girl even reveals that her cat died after she had sex for the first time, which is perhaps the most Secret Life sentence ever written. Adrian approaches Grace to apologize for not calling, but Grace gets upset and leaves. Amy asks Adrian what happened, and instead of answering, Adrian casually drops the information that Ben is leaving for Italy. Amy confronts Ben, and while trying to explain the trip, Ben accidentally suggests that maybe she could come too. Amy immediately says yes. Ben, shocked that his bluff has been called, asks what she’d do with John. Amy basically says, “Eh, my parents can keep him,” because apparently motherhood now has a summer vacation option. Grace walks home upset until George spots her, pulls over, and gives her an unexpectedly sweet pep talk. She returns to school, reunites with Jack, and just like that, the show has decided they’re together again. Elsewhere, Adrian and Ricky have sex, after which Ricky says he wants them to be exclusive. Adrian’s main condition is that Ricky not sleep with Amy. Ricky assures her he isn’t planning to — although he does need to go to Amy’s house constantly because, minor detail, they have a baby together. Back at the Juergens house, Amy begins desperately searching for someone willing to raise John for a month while she vacations in Italy. Anne says no. Ashley says no. George says no. Ricky arrives, takes John from George, and before Amy can even finish forming the question, tells her that he absolutely cannot watch their baby for an entire month while she goes to Europe. So Amy’s Italian summer fantasy may be experiencing some minor childcare-related turbulence. And finally, Anne is hanging out with David when he accuses her of lying about him being the father of her baby and suggests she’s only dating him because his family is rich. Anne understandably gets furious — but before she can respond, David decides that this is the ideal emotional atmosphere in which to get down on one knee and propose. Because nothing says “marry me” quite like, “I think you’re lying to me about the paternity of your unborn child and possibly using me for money.”
