Have you ever been told that you’re “too emotional”? Maybe someone said it to you when you were crying.Maybe you heard it as a child when your feelings felt too big.Maybe you have said it to yourself.Or maybe you have seen it said about an entire group of people. In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m reflecting on why the phrase “you’re too emotional” has been sitting heavy with me. Not because emotional regulation is not important.Not because every emotional reaction is healthy.But because I believe those words often teach something very different than what we intend. When we say “you’re too emotional” to a child, we may think we are teaching them to calm down. But many times, what they actually learn is: “My emotions are a problem.”“I am too much.”“It is not safe to show what I feel.” And if no one teaches that child how to understand, express, and regulate their emotions, they may grow into an adult who either suppresses everything, disconnects from what they feel, or becomes overwhelmed by emotions they were never taught how to hold. This conversation also connects to something I have been noticing in our Haitian community. As Haiti returned to the World Cup and conversations unfolded online about the team, the jersey, pride, history, and representation, I kept seeing one comment repeated in different ways: “Haitians are too emotional.” That phrase bothered me. Because when I think about our history as Haitian people: slavery, revolution, political instability, natural disasters, migration, separation from family, economic hardship, and generations of survival, I wonder what it would mean to approach our emotions with more context and compassion. Survival and emotional regulation are not the same thing. When your nervous system is focused on surviving, there is not always space to slow down, process, reflect, and learn how to regulate. So in this episode, I’m asking a different question: What if the problem is not that we are too emotional?What if many of us were never given enough space, safety, or support to learn what to do with our emotions? This episode is an invitation to move from shame to curiosity. Instead of saying, “You’re too emotional,” maybe we can begin asking: “What is this emotion trying to communicate?”“What happened?”“What do I need right now?”“How can I respond instead of simply react?” Because maybe the goal is not to have fewer emotions. Maybe the goal is to understand them better. The next time you feel emotional, or the next time someone around you becomes emotional, pause and ask: What might this emotion be trying to communicate? Not every feeling needs to control your response. But every feeling deserves to be understood. If this conversation resonated with you, I would love to invite you into Lakay Within. Lakay Within is a monthly virtual gathering rooted in Haitian womanhood, healing, reflection, and connection. It is a space where we slow down, breathe, reflect, and make room for the parts of ourselves we often carry quietly. Our next gathering is on July 14 at 7 PM CT Virtual If you are not quite ready for the monthly gathering, you are also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement throughout the month. Click on the Links here for Lakay Within and the free community I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion. You can learn more about therapy services through Transformative Healing Pathways. Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or a crisis support resource in your area. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need this reminder. And remember: Keep choosing yourself.Keep learning.Let’s heal, grow, and thrive together. Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe
