Arms Open: Real Talk for Real Relationships

Angela Kingma
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Arms Open: Real Talk for Real Relationships is a podcast from Arms Open Counselling. It features relationship advice and lessons from certified therapist Angela Kingma.

  1. How Couples Bounce Back

    3d ago

    How Couples Bounce Back

    In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly transformative skills in any relationship: the repair attempt. Angela unpacks what repair actually looks like beyond the perfect apology — and why the ability to come back to each other after conflict matters far more than whether conflict happens at all. Whether repair feels natural or terrifyingly vulnerable in your relationship, this episode offers real language, warm insight, and a practical reset to help you find your way back to each other. Relationship Reset Challenge One honest repair this week This week's challenge invites you to try one genuine repair attempt, no drama, no perfectly timed speech required. Just a small, intentional move toward your partner. Example: "I was short with you earlier, and I'm sorry, can we start over?" No perfection required, just intention. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    17 min
  2. Why Admiration Keeps Love Alive

    May 20

    Why Admiration Keeps Love Alive

    In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly powerful — and quietly neglected — forces in long-term relationships: fondness and admiration. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela unpacks why expressed admiration is foundational to relational health, what happens when it goes underground, and how small, specific, consistent acts of saying what you genuinely value in your partner can transform the emotional climate of your relationship — one moment at a time. Relationship Reset Challenge The Admiration Audit Sit quietly for five minutes and identify three things you genuinely admire about your partner — not what they do, but who they are. Their character, their spirit, the way they move through the world. Then find a moment this week to say one of them out loud. Specific, genuine, unprompted. Just because it's true. And if you're feeling brave — say all three. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    18 min
  3. Don't Fix It, Feel It

    Apr 15

    Don't Fix It, Feel It

    In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly misunderstood skills in relationships — the stress-reducing conversation. Not every hard moment needs a solution. Sometimes what your partner needs most is simply to feel heard, held, and less alone in what they're carrying. Angela shares a hilarious (and completely relatable) client story about a well-meaning partner who showed up to an emotional conversation with a spiral-bound notebook and bullet-pointed action items — and uses it to unpack why the fix-it instinct, while rooted in love, can accidentally leave partners feeling unseen. Relationship Reset Challenge Try the 10-minute rule. Give your partner ten minutes of uninterrupted, advice-free listening — no solutions, no redirects, no silver linings, and absolutely no notebooks. Ask one open question: "What's been the hardest part of this for you?" Then just be there with what comes. Notice what shifts — in them, and in you. Resources mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.comThe Gottman Institute — stress-reducing conversations and rituals of connection: www.gottman.comDr. Sue Johnson — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples: www.iceeft.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    14 min
  4. Fighting Fair by Starting Soft

    Feb 11

    Fighting Fair by Starting Soft

    This episode explores how the first three minutes of a hard conversation predict how it will end, and how our nervous systems and attachment needs often drive harsh openings that are really desperate bids for connection. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela offers practical, real-life language shifts to help you bring up hard topics with respect, appreciation, and emotional safety, even when you’re tired, resentful, or feeling unseen. Relationship Reset Challenge The 60-Second Start-Up Pause Before you bring up a concern this week, pause for one minute. Ask yourself: “What am I really feeling underneath this frustration?” and “What do I actually need right now?” Then remove blanket generalizations like “You always” and start with a moment of appreciation before naming the issue. For example: “I really appreciate how much you do for our family. There’s something on my heart I’d like to talk about.” No perfection required — just intention. Resources Mentioned Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    12 min
  5. Tiny Turns Towards Love

    Jan 28

    Tiny Turns Towards Love

    What if the strength of your relationship isn’t built in the big moments — but in the small ones you barely notice? In this episode, Angela explores the power of “turning toward” your partner through everyday micro-moments of connection. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this conversation breaks down what bids for connection look like in real life, why they matter so deeply, and how tiny, intentional responses can rebuild closeness, trust, and emotional safety over time. Relationship Reset Challenge This week, practice turning toward intentionally: Notice one bid for connection each day and respond with presence — a look, a question, a touch, or a few moments of attention. At the end of the day, reflect: Did I turn toward love today? Resources Mentioned Gottman: gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman)Hold Me Tight + drsuejohnson.comgottman.com/couples/Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    12 min
  6. The Four Relationship Killers (And What To Do)

    Jan 6

    The Four Relationship Killers (And What To Do)

    Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — they show up in every relationship at some point. In this episode, Angela breaks down what these “Four Horsemen” actually look and sound like in everyday life, why they happen, and the small, simple shifts couples can make to create more connection and less conflict. This is a practical, judgment-free guide to recognizing harmful patterns early and choosing healthier communication that feels good for both partners. Relationship Reset Challenge Choose one Horseman you fall into most often and practice its antidote every day for the next week: Criticism → Gentle startup Contempt → One daily appreciation Defensiveness → Own 2% Stonewalling → Take a break with a return time Resources Mentioned John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkArms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    13 min
  7. Holiday Bonus Episode

    12/23/2025 ·  Bonus

    Holiday Bonus Episode

    The holidays can bring closeness, joy, and meaningful traditions — and they can also magnify stress, tension, and disconnection in relationships. In this episode, Angela explores why couples often struggle more during the holiday season, how stress and expectations impact connection, and what actually helps couples slow down and stay emotionally close. Grounded in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this conversation offers warmth, humour, and practical tools for navigating real-life love during a busy season. Relationship Reset Challenge Set aside 15 uninterrupted minutes this week and take turns answering: One thing that’s been draining me latelyOne way I feel connected to youOne small thing we could do this week to feel closerListen without fixing or defending — just be present with each other. Resources Mentioned John Gottman – insights on stress, expectations, and connectionEmotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – Understanding emotional needs and attachment in relationshipsArms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by: Angela Kingma Edited by: Tayte McHugh

    10 min
  8. Bonus Episode

    12/09/2025 ·  Bonus

    Bonus Episode

    Sorry for the gap in uploads, life got busy as it tends to do. This episode gets very real, very raw. In it, Angela explores the sometimes difficult, but always worthwhile reality of long-term relationships. She pulls from her personal experience to provide a perspective she believes is sorely lacking in relationship media. Please enjoy this bonus episode. Regularly scheduled uploads will be returning shortly. Connect with Us If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips. Presented by Angela Kingma Edited by Tayte McHugh

    13 min
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Arms Open: Real Talk for Real Relationships is a podcast from Arms Open Counselling. It features relationship advice and lessons from certified therapist Angela Kingma.

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