The Contemplative Dad

Max Haben

Creative Pilgrim. Documenting My Journey In Real Time. thecontemplativedad.substack.com

Episodes

  1. Sep 21

    The Death of The Cog

    You’ve been taught that you need permission. You grew up in the aftermath of the industrial revolution, which brought incredible technological achievement. But with mass consumerism and mass production came the mass man. The statistical man. We started defining men and women by the mean of the group. And so the message you got was that you are average. A cog in the machine. And apart from the machine, you have no agency. You’re dependent on a corporation for your paycheck and your health benefits. Dependent on the school for your education. Dependent on your tribe to tell you who you are. There’s no room left for you to be alone with yourself. Solitude has been snuffed out and with it, every opportunity for you to know the undiscovered self — that still, small destiny inside of your soul. When you first go to create something, you’re going to face a massive force called resistance. Because up until now, you were a fish going down the stream. Floating passively in the direction of least resistance. You started to turn around and look at another path. And the moment you did, you found yourself paralyzed. Because you were trained to ask for permission. What do I do next? Somebody tell me the answer. Somebody give me the formula. And it makes sense that you ask, because that’s exactly what you were trained to do. You were told your whole life that you can’t figure it out for yourself. That you have to get the answer from somebody else. The truth is you have a purpose. You are equipped to do it. You have the tools, the gifting, and the authority. The seed of your calling is already there. At first, every step is going to feel slow. It’s going to feel like walking uphill against the wind. Because you are. But as you do it, the muscles and the neural connections start to strengthen. And once you start doing the thing you were created to do, you start to flow. You’ll know when it starts to happen. At some point it stops feeling like work, and it starts to feel effortless. The hard things won’t feel hard for you. It hits different. It feels more mystical — like you stepped outside of time and space. Once you get into that state, it’s game over. Everything else comes downstream of it. If you want to go deeper, upgrading gets you access to paid content. Founding members get a 45-minute 1:1 coaching call with me. THE OLD ERA IS OVER The nine-to-five. Stay in your lane. Stay in your cubicle. Play the game. Build the resume. Get the promotion. Clock in. Put on the right clothes. Fall in line. Follow the rules, even when they’re arbitrary. Go to college. Get the degree. Do what your mom did. Do what your dad did. That machine is broken now. There are still people living in it. But you’re entering a new era. And it’s good news for the fish who swim upstream. Because the water is changing. The structures are changing at the foundation. This is not the era of the mass man. This is the era of the individual creator. A robot can replace the mass man, but it cannot replace the sovereign individual — the man or woman operating from the depths of their true self, flowing from that place of authentic calling. You don’t need permission anymore. You used to have to get your film into a theater. You used to have to get your music to a record label. You used to have to get your book to a big publisher. Not anymore. Go start a YouTube channel. Put your thing on the internet. Write your freaking book. Document your process. Hit upload. Show yourself building it. The information has been democratized. The resources have been decentralized. Forget the gatekeepers. Forget the holders of all the power and all the doctrine and all the secrets. Go build your thing. Nobody else is going to tell you what you’re supposed to do. What are you waiting for? Go do your thing. — Max Book Recommendation 📖 The Undiscovered Self — Carl Jung Thank you for reading. Becoming a paid member is the most direct way to support this work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thecontemplativedad.substack.com/subscribe

  2. Sep 10

    Why Belief Is Not Enough In The Second Half of Your Spiritual Life

    A few weeks ago I walked into a crowded coffee shop in White Bear Lake looking for a place to work. The only open seat was next to a guy reading Richard Rohr’s Falling Upward — and that book on the table opened a conversation I couldn’t have planned. AJ Hofstetter grew up inside a container built by tragedy: He married young, went from one authority to the next without ever learning self-leadership, and carried unhealed trauma for decades. Then, at 36, taking out the trash, he told God: either you are who you say you are, or you’re not. What happened next — a surprise pregnancy, a lost job, twins, and a daughter pronounced dead in the delivery room — became the anchor point for everything that followed. How do we make sense of failed relationships, trauma, a creative approach to faith? What do you anchor to when the old certainties come apart? What does the journey into the abyss of darkness — the one that turns out to be spiritual growth — actually look like? We cover that and more in this conversation. About AJ AJ Hofstetter is the author of Take Time to Be Brief. Find him at https://www.ajhof.co/ Timestamps * 0:00 — How we met: a crowded coffee shop and a Richard Rohr book * 1:54 — Why AJ was reading Falling Upward * 4:22 — The two halves of life: container and contents * 7:23 — Deconstruction, or an inventory of belief * 10:51 — A childhood container built by tragedy and death * 13:04 — The dark passenger * 14:40 — Marrying young and the lost art of self-leadership * 19:44 — 25 years of marriage: crawling across home plate * 21:53 — How unresolved trauma gets inflicted on the people closest to us * 24:07 — The beginning of the unraveling: the age of accountability * 28:31 — Pursuing only what’s true — and being honest about your motives * 32:20 — The trash-can prayer * 33:43 — Twins, a lost job, and nine minutes * 35:49 — “In the name of Jesus, breathe” * 38:12 — The anchor point * 41:05 — The fruit: mystery, mercy, and the death of sacred cows * 44:38 — Willing to be interrupted This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thecontemplativedad.substack.com/subscribe

    Why Belief Is Not Enough In The Second Half of Your Spiritual Life
  3. Aug 6

    How To Catch Up With Your Ideas and Being Slow on Purpose

    If you’re aspiring to a way of life that’s outside the beaten path, you need to encounter other travelers on that road. People you can look at and think: well, if they can do it, maybe I can too. About five years ago — before I made the leap into the great abyss of full-time artistry and creative work — I met a one of those pilgrims. His name is Nick Wroblewski. For Nick, a life of creativity seemed like second nature. We’re both from South Minneapolis — a culturally eclectic art scene, one of the more diverse cities in the country — and Nick, for a stretch of his childhood, lived in something close to an artist commune. He was exposed at a young age to a way of life built around art, community, and storytelling. In a lot of ways, his family was ahead of their time — the crunchy, organic lifestyle habits a lot of us have only recently come around to, his family was already living. One thing that stood out to me from our conversation is that Nick never felt discouraged in his call to the arts. He was just called to be an artist, and that was that. For a young person to come into adulthood and be encouraged toward something as seemingly “useless” as dedicating your life to chiseling wood, is rare. I was honored to finally sit down with Nick and record one of our conversations, and even more honored to share it with the world. We covered his upbringing, we got into the technical side of his craft, and how to build a slower lifestyle in a world that’s more and more saturated with technology. If you’re aspiring toward the arts, or toward creativity, or just toward a way of life that’s richer and more meaningful — Nick’s example and his witness is going to be inspiring and edifying for you. In this conversation, Nick and I talk about: Growing up in a traveling puppet theater.Floating down the Mississippi at age 12Why he chose one of the slowest, most technical form of art there is — woodblock printmaking — after being trained in abstract, conceptual workWhy rules and limitations make the work better, not worse (”if there are no rules, then what’s the point?”)His shift from an anti-church upbringing into orthodox ChristianityWhy he thinks the real challenge for modern artists is making things slow and human on purpose If you want to learn more about Nick and the work he’s doing, head over to his website, NickWroblewski.com, to see some of his work, and follow him on Instagram, where his son helps him capture viral videos of him in the workshop. Enjoy. MORE ABOUT NICK Nick Wroblewski was born into a lively community of artists in Minneapolis, Minnesota. His innate drive to make art was fostered through early experiences in puppetry, painting and performance, including an iconic circus tour with In the Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theater that traveled down the Mississippi River in an old houseboat in the golden years before the internet. Inspired by idealists, Nick's commitment to art has never wavered. Through art classes as a child, arts high school as a teen, and a degree in fine arts from Bennington College in Vermont, Nick explored the full scope of creative mediums before finding his place in printmaking, where he combines his love of sculpture, painting and composition into a single artistic process. While his focus is on large, multicolor reduction prints, he still tinkers with the intricacies of pop-up mechanics and paper mache sculptures. He currently lives with his wife and two children in Boise, Idaho. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thecontemplativedad.substack.com/subscribe

    How To Catch Up With Your Ideas and Being Slow on Purpose

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Creative Pilgrim. Documenting My Journey In Real Time. thecontemplativedad.substack.com