Married. Single. Divorced.

Larissa, Charlotte & Fern
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Married. Single. Divorced. is what happens when three friends with three very different lives take their group chat public. From kids and careers to dating disasters, health, ageing, and everyday chaos — nothing is off-limits. Expect unfiltered confessions, plenty of laughs, and the kind of honesty you only get with your best mates.

  1. Ghosts, pyramid schemes and other signs the world is out to get us...

    2h ago

    Ghosts, pyramid schemes and other signs the world is out to get us...

    It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and between rewires, resignations and rogue pyramid schemes, we’ve somehow ended up discussing ghosts, reincarnation and door-to-door sponge sales. The Catch-Up ☕️ 🔌 Fern is temporarily homeless. Her house is currently being rewired, meaning floors are up, cables are everywhere, and chaos reigns supreme. The electrician has managed to open the infamous broken window. The question now is: 👉 Will he fix it? 👉 Or will Fern be left with a permanently open window and a strong breeze? Place your bets. 🏡 Larissa’s house is finally starting to look like an actual house. The kitchen has arrived, the floor screed is down, and after months of dust, delays and despair, things are finally… housing. 🎉 Dare we say it… Housewarming party this summer?! 💼 Charlotte has QUIT HER JOB. After a whirlwind experience she’s learned two important life lessons: We don’t sell peas. 🌱 The grass isn’t always greener. Charlotte is embracing her next chapter and has already moved on to her next project: Finding Fern a man. Current front-runner? 👨‍🍳 The chef. This Week’s Topic: Do We Believe in Ghosts? 👻 A simple question that spirals rapidly. 👻 Charlotte is a firm no on ghosts. But reincarnation? That’s where things get interesting. She often finds herself wondering: 👉 “What have I done in a previous life to deserve this?” 😂 🤔 Larissa isn’t entirely sure what she believes. As a child she was convinced ghosts existed… …although looking back, was it actually ghosts she was afraid of? Or just burglars? 💭 Fern doesn’t love the idea that there’s simply nothing after we die. She isn’t convinced about ghosts, but she’s not convinced there isn’t something either. ⚖️ Which leads us to one of the internet’s most bizarre theories… Have you heard about people supposedly becoming lighter when they die because their soul leaves their body? We have questions. Lots of questions. ✨ Do we believe in an afterlife? ☁️ What happens when we die? “I can see them falling from heaven”? Larissa shares one of the greatest cautionary tales of her youth. 📈 A pyramid scheme. 📍 Great Yarmouth. 🚨 High-vis jackets. 👠 Bleeding heels. 📵 No phone data. Honestly, it sounds less like a business opportunity and more like a hostage situation. 😂 🎬 Fern narrowly avoided a job with LoveFilm, thanks to her parents stepping in and helping her see sense. 💡 And not to be left out, Charlotte had an interview for a pyramid-style scheme in Australia… selling light bulbs. Because apparently none of us can resist a terrible opportunity. Important Questions We Need Answering… 🧽 Did anyone else have door-to-door salesmen trying to sell sponges? 👻 Are ghosts real? 🔮 Is reincarnation a thing? 👨‍🍳 And should Fern give the chef a chance? A completely random episode featuring afterlife theories, career changes, house renovations, terrible business decisions and a window that may never close again. Basically, classic us. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your besties - especially the ones who once got trapped in a pyramid scheme and are still pretending it was a business venture. 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    51 min
  2. What's on your algorithm? Toupees, thongs and sexy underwear debates.

    Jun 2

    What's on your algorithm? Toupees, thongs and sexy underwear debates.

    It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and we’re discussing care home scandals, algorithm confessions and whether anyone actually knows what the archive button is for. The Catch-Up ☕️ 💩 Larissa is officially wading through shit. House renovations have hit the point where the balloons have popped and the novelty has worn off, She escaped for a mini-break to Valencia, but after walking around in the rain, she was left feeling a little underwhelmed. 💃 Charlotte has been dancing in a dress that may have been slightly shorter than intended. She’s also been back at college, where people are apparently checking pedestrian crossing buttons for needles. If you know, you know. The listeners remain shooketh. 👵 Fern’s grandad has been causing chaos at the care home, having been caught in a lady’s room. We don’t know the full story, but we support his commitment to keeping life interesting. Fern has also enjoyed a trip to the beach, some boating adventures, and a healthy session on the 2p machines. Her dad hit the token jackpot and honestly, we couldn’t be happier for him. 🎙️ We also decide it’s time to organise a pod beach day. This Week’s Topic: What’s On Your Algorithm? 📱 We take a deep dive into the weird and wonderful corners of our social media feeds. 💇‍♂️ Fern’s algorithm is serving up videos of men getting toupees fitted. A niche but fascinating rabbit hole. 💁‍♀️ Charlotte’s feed is full of curly hair transformations and somehow… Instagram palm readings. 🚬 Larissa’s algorithm consists largely of videos of crackheads turning their lives around. Inspirational content only. Then Somehow We End Up Talking About Underwear… As one does. 🩲 Where are we buying sexy underwear these days? 🩱 Charlotte reveals she wore thongs at school. Anti-VPL to her core. 🏋️‍♀️ We discuss gym fashion, thong-backed leggings, see-through activewear and whether some people are wearing leggings or simply painted-on confidence. 💬 tied up like a Christmas ham? 💬 they make you look like a bag of satsumas? The debate continues. 😩 Fern has somehow lost a bra wire inside her washing machine, which raises another important question: How long are we all keeping our bras? A truly chaotic episode featuring social media rabbit holes, questionable underwear choices, care home gossip and more renovation misery. Basically, exactly what you’ve come to expect. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your besties - especially if you’ve got 37,000 unread emails and no idea what the Archive button does. 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    49 min
  3. Just a catch up...featuring coffee enemas, tuning forks and horse trauma.

    May 26

    Just a catch up...featuring coffee enemas, tuning forks and horse trauma.

    The Catch-Up ☕️ 🩱 Fern had a wildly productive Tuesday on a mission to find a swimming costume. What started as a simple shopping trip somehow ended in Tesco glory - not only did she bag an absolute leopard print banger, but she got a second costume bargain too. ☕️ Meanwhile, Charlotte’s week took a very unexpected turn involving a Saturday morning coffee enema… and honestly? She’s glowing. Naturally, we had questions. Lots of questions. What’s the equipment situation?How exactly does one brew the coffee?!How do you insert the tube with confidence?Was there leakage?!And somehow, despite being vulnerable in the fetal position, Charlotte still managed to scroll Instagram throughout the process. 💩 Reviews included: 👉 “It smells like a farmyard.” 🚽 Fern’s previous colonic experience comes flooding back, prompting one of the most chaotic conversations we’ve ever had. 💬 “It’s the first thing to have gone up my arse.” 💬 “Have you shat yourself yet?!” Honestly, maturity levels remain low. Larissa’s Update 🛁 Unfortunately, Larissa’s week comes with a genuinely shocking twist… 💔 The bathroom fitter sadly passed away unexpectedly, leaving the bathroom unfinished and everyone understandably shaken. As Larissa says… 👉 “You can’t really top trump death.” It’s been one of those weeks where we’ve all felt a bit off, and naturally we’re blaming Mercury retrograde. 🚂 And in peak wholesome chaos energy, Larissa and Fern went wild on a miniature train. 30p a ride. Absolute scenes. Childhood Misunderstandings & Horse Trauma 🐴 Listeners have been writing in with the most ridiculous childhood misunderstandings, including: 🐱 Are all cats girls and dogs boys? 🐴 And wait… ponies aren’t just baby horses?! This leads us into Fern’s very real horse allergy, and a childhood memory of seeing a girl get rolled by a horse. Question is… has the trauma psychologically manifested into an allergy? Science may never know. 🐎 Finally, Larissa shares her honeymoon horse-riding story, which unfortunately involves one very unfortunate impact to Mike’s balls. Romance truly is alive. A completely unhinged episode featuring bowel discussions, miniature trains, horse trauma and frozen spinach appreciation. Basically everything you’ve come to expect from us. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your weird little besties 💌 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    1 hr
  4. Would we ever go camping again?!

    May 19

    Would we ever go camping again?!

    It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and this one is giving survival mode… but outdoorsy. The Catch-Up ⛺️ 🏕️ Fern has been ridiculously productive - ticking off a Costco trip, visiting Grandad at the care home, doing a charity shop drop-off (while tragically missing a bakery opportunity), squeezing in the gym and booking a camping trip. Naturally, this leads to Fern retelling the story of her absolute nightmare camping experience, where her tent almost blew away… while she was inside it. Character building, apparently. 🔥 We quickly realise… Do we all secretly love camping?! Should the pod go on tour?! MSD: Live from a leaking tent somewhere in Wales. 🌧️ Charlotte remembers taking a tent to Leeds Festival that somehow managed to rain inside. She promptly abandoned ship. Survival instincts. 🏡 We also discover Charlotte used to sleep in her Wendy house as a child, which honestly tracks. 🐍 And then there’s the time Charlotte went bush camping in North West Australia - a trip that makes I’m A Celebrity look like a luxury retreat. Enter: the swag. Charlotte was eaten alive by every midge, mosquito and unidentified flying insect in Australia and insists that a midge hood is essential kit. 🌳 Meanwhile, Larissa shares her honeymoon camping experience - sold as a romantic treehouse getaway but actually just… a bed in a tree exposed to every wild animal imaginable. Romance is alive and well. Other Life Updates ☕️ 🍻 Charlotte went for drinks with a friend after college and was introduced to the wild world of Grindr. She’s fascinated. Obsessed, even. We get into “peacocking” and Charlotte concludes we should all be more like gay men. Apparently 6pm on a Tuesday is where the real magic happens. 🏚️ Larissa’s house update: the bathroom men have now fallen out with the other builders and the whole thing is becoming a stressful soap opera. BUT - perspective is key, there are bigger things going on in the world… and importantly: ✈️ THE GIRLS’ TRIP IS BOOKED. Priorities. Chaos, camping trauma, dating apps and leaking tents - just another completely normal week for us. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your outdoorsy besties (or anyone who’s ever nearly blown away in a tent). 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    1h 2m
  5. She lost her dad... and we didn't know how to help

    May 12

    She lost her dad... and we didn't know how to help

    The Catch-Up ☀️ 🍹 Larissa has been away in all-inclusive heaven - sun, relaxation and unlimited buffet access. Although… she’s slightly ashamed to admit she actually missed cooking. Domestic goddess behaviour. 🛒 Charlotte caught someone shoplifting, and honestly the retelling is giving full-on citizen’s arrest in the middle aisle. Equal parts heroic and chaotic. 💌 Fern has been making the most of some unexpected child-free time and has bravely stepped back into the dating world. After being ghosted on Hinge, she’s finally been on a date! And apparently, the biggest green flag these days is simply… him turning up. This Week’s Topic: Mental Health Awareness Week 💛 This week we’re talking about mental health, grief, support systems and the importance of knowing you’re not alone. 🫶 We ask the question: Are we talking about mental health more now… or is there genuinely more of it? 💬 Fern believes supporting someone is often just about listening - letting them feel heard and knowing you’re there for them without trying to “fix” everything. 💔 Charlotte opens up about losing her dad, and honestly… it’s one of the deepest conversations we’ve had. Charlotte reflects on how she coped at the time - or didn’t. Eating too much. Drinking too much. Escaping back into university life and avoiding the grief. She admits she never really spoke about it, and this episode is probably the most we’ve ever discussed it together. 😢 People often assume you don’t want to talk about loss… when actually, sometimes you desperately do. Charlotte shares that while it doesn’t necessarily get easier, you do slowly learn how to carry it differently. 🤍 Larissa admits she didn’t really know how to support Charlotte at the time, worrying that bringing things up might trigger more pain. And that’s something a lot of us relate to - mental health and grief can feel incredibly complex to navigate. The Takeaway If you’re struggling, feeling low, overwhelmed or grieving something 💛 please try and talk to someone. You are not weak. You are not dramatic. And you are definitely not alone. A very honest episode about grief, friendship, support and learning how to show up for the people we love - even when we don’t always know how. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with someone who might need this conversation today. 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    1h 4m
  6. The things we wish we didn't share online

    May 5

    The things we wish we didn't share online

    The Catch-Up ☕️ 🏚️ Larissa is back battling the builders - shouting into the void and getting absolutely nowhere. At this point, we’re seriously asking… should we just retrain as tradies? 🧘‍♀️ Fern has been deep in her yoga era, sore biceps and all. But, the real headline… 📱 SHE’S BACK ON HINGE. Yes, it’s happening. Updates pending. 😴 Charlotte has gone a bit quiet this week - less chaos, more cocooning. She’s focusing on herself, catching up on sleep and fully leaning into what her aura ring is telling her. Rest is productive… apparently. This Week’s Topic: Have We Overshared? A bold question for three women with microphones… 🎙️ Charlotte says yes, but in a good way. It’s opened up conversations she probably wouldn’t have had otherwise… but it also means everyone has an opinion, including unexpected contributors (hi Fern’s mum 👀). She reminds us - this is a one way diary. 🤍 Fern feels comfortable sharing, mainly because her story now feels like a closed chapter. But it does raise the question… how would she feel if her girls listened back one day? She’s thought about what she shares and it shows. 🧠 Charlotte points out that Fern processes things before speaking - something that clearly mirrors how she shows up in her work too. Can we learn how to do that too?! 💬 Larissa doesn’t think she’s overshared, but does wonder how Mike feels about it all. Her parents? Not fans of the poop chat… but she stands firm: proud to poop. The Bigger Conversation ✨ Despite everything, good things come from sharing - messages, connection, people feeling seen. 🗣️ Larissa finds it genuinely cathartic - like she’s got her voice back. More confidence, more ownership: 👉 “I own my narrative.” 📱 We reflect on pre-podcast days… Facebook statuses, “DM me hun” energy - chaotic and cringe.. 🤔 So now we ask: Are we posting for connection… or validation? We all agree, it’s shifted. It’s about connection now. ⏳ But will we look back in 10 years and cringe? (Short answer: we doubt it.) 🔒 Are private people happier? Would we all benefit from just… locking our phones in the car and switching off? The Reality Check We might come across as open books… But actually? 📖 We’re open on our terms, but love to share our lives with you all. Honest, unfiltered, slightly unhinged - and a reminder that sharing your story is powerful… even if it makes your mum cringe. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your oversharing besties 💌 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    54 min
  7. Zodiac Signs & Compatibility - are our relationships written in the stars?

    Apr 28

    Zodiac Signs & Compatibility - are our relationships written in the stars?

    It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and we’re bringing sunshine, travel chaos and a slightly mystical twist. The Catch-Up ☀️ 👕 Washing on the line is back and honestly, nothing says “life is good” like sun-dried clothes. 🇳🇱 Fern took the girls to the Netherlands and delivered a full itinerary like the organised queen she is - think lots of walking, getting lost around canals, and the constant paranoia of are these cakes… space cakes? Highlight: falling off a bus seat. Graceful as ever. 😳 Charlotte was hit with the ultimate auntie question: “How are babies made?” Auntie Char Char did have answers… but is still questioning how she ended up in that situation in the first place. 🐣 Larissa has been deep in Easter mode - egg hunts, life admin and trudging through the more mundane bits of life while trying to prep for upcoming holidays. It’s giving organised chaos. This Week’s Topic: Zodiac Signs & Compatibility - are our relationships written in the stars? Do we believe in them… or is it all a bit of fun? ✨ Charlotte introduces a magic 8-ball style pen (because of course she does), and somehow this all spirals from the very important question: 👉 “Does he have ginger pubes?” 🤷‍♀️ Larissa thinks it’s a crock of shite… but also low-key enjoys it. Contradictory queen. 🔮 Charlotte fully leans in when she’s lacking direction - horoscopes, guidance… and WAIT… She casually drops that she has tarot cards. Of course she does. ♍♎♊ We break down the star signs - Virgo, Libra, Gemini - who’s who? And ask the big question: ✨ Were the stars always destined for us to be friends? 💘 We also get into relationship vs friendship compatibility - because apparently they are not the same thing. 👀 Was Mr Charismatic written in the stars… or was that just a life lesson? And what about the ones that got away? What the Stars Say We Want 💫 💭 Larissa: fun, intellectual, good connection, conversation and variety 💖 Fern: partnership, romance, emotional harmony and a shared social life 🧠 Charlotte: stable, loyal, emotionally supportive and mentally stimulating. 🔢 We also discover life path numbers (because why stop at star signs?) 😂 Fern remembers having her tarot cards read at 18 - spoiler: they were wrong on every single count. ✨ Final thoughts: Larissa: “If it brings happiness and positivity, I’m into it.” 🌈 Fern’s mum: living proof that putting good energy out into the world and hoping it comes back might actually be the real magic. A little bit mystical, a little bit chaotic, and a reminder that sometimes it’s just fun to believe in something. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your star-sign-obsessed besties 🔮✨ 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    57 min
  8. Embarrassing moments, childhood lies and pure chaos.

    Apr 21

    Embarrassing moments, childhood lies and pure chaos.

    It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and this one is giving chaos, confusion and absolutely zero structure… just how we like it. The Catch-Up ☕️ 🥐 We kicked things off with a gorgeous Sunday brunch at a friend’s house - wholesome, civilised… a false sense of calm before the chaos. ✈️ Fern has been deep in holiday prep mode, packing, booking and getting everything sorted for her trip (organised queen behaviour). 💃 Charlotte pulled a disco shift at her old workplace, essentially getting paid to be social -the dream, really. One of the chefs has also asked Charlotte to pass on a message to Fern that he’s “free on Tuesdays”… we’ll leave that there 😉 She also took herself off to Blackpool Ballroom for a dance, because of course she did. 👟 Larissa bought Phoebe some new shoes and has otherwise been… plodding. Nothing major to report aside from suffering after a very spicy Korean meal. We’ve all been there. This Week’s Episode: Pure Chaos Energy No deep dives. No emotional breakthroughs. Just a random, silly billy, unhinged episode. 🚨 Larissa shares the story of running out of an alterations shop and calling the police - as you do. 🧥 “Green jumper!” - yes, the jumper that simply will not die makes another appearance. 😂 We ask the important questions: Does everyone have weird nicknames for their friends?And… ham bag, anyone?🌳 We explore childhood logic, including: 💰 Money trees in the garden and leprechauns casually delivering cash 🚫 Being told not to press pedestrian crossing buttons or eat mushroom skin (??) 🌉 Charlotte casually shut Barton Bridge - no further questions. 🚽 And because we can’t help ourselves: 🚆 Pooing on a train in Vietnam 🚻 Weeing on trains ⛷️ Outdoor wees while skiing (a skill, apparently) 🐐 And finally… How many goats is too many goats? We still don’t have an answer. Absolutely chaotic, slightly feral, and guaranteed to make you question everything. Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your besties - especially the ones who also shout “green jumper” in public. 📲 Find us on socials: Instagram → @married.single.divorced TikTok → @msdthepod

    52 min
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Married. Single. Divorced. is what happens when three friends with three very different lives take their group chat public. From kids and careers to dating disasters, health, ageing, and everyday chaos — nothing is off-limits. Expect unfiltered confessions, plenty of laughs, and the kind of honesty you only get with your best mates.

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