Building Up Fathers

Jared and Ryan
  • 5.0 (4)
  • PARENTING

Building up fathers in a way that encourages them to love themselves and their families the way God loves His people.

  1. 6D AGO

    Fathers and Technology: You Can’t Shortcut Presence - 1 of 2

    Technology has become one of the most powerful forces shaping family life, not because every device is bad, but because it quietly competes for a father’s attention. This episode looks at the way phones, social/entertainment media, work access, short-form video, and AI can pull dads away from the very people they most want to love well. The issue is not just screen time. It is presence, connection, and whether our kids experience us as available. This conversation does not come from a place of having it all figured out. It comes from the real struggle of being tired, distracted, stressed, tempted to escape, and trying to lead a home while also battling the pull of technology personally. Fathers are not called to be perfect, but they are called to pay attention. Presence cannot be automated, outsourced, or replaced by good intentions. It has to be chosen in the ordinary moments where our kids are looking for our eyes, our voice, and our attention. In This Episode: • Why technology, social media, AI, and entertainment media are becoming one of the biggest relational challenges for fathers and families • The difference between leading your home through rules and leading first by your own example • How phones can quietly communicate emotional unavailability to kids, even when dads are physically nearby • Why children often escalate behavior when they are trying to regain a distracted parent’s attention • The danger of using social media, short-form video, gaming, or online identity as an escape from stress, anxiety, boredom, or pain • The importance of admitting when technology has more control over you than you want it to have • Practical starting points like phone-free meals, the first ten minutes at home, protected daily rhythms, and replacing screen time with real connection • Why getting help, creating accountability, or removing access is not weakness, but real leadership Key Themes: • Undivided presence over distraction • Spiritual leadership through personal example • Emotional safety and availability • Honest self-assessment • Technology boundaries in the home • Connection that cannot be shortcut Takeaway: The heart of this episode is simple but weighty: your attention matters more than you think. Your kids do not just need you in the room. They need to know you are available, responsive, and willing to choose them over whatever is pulling at you. That does not mean every father needs to throw his phone away or fix every habit overnight. It means taking one honest step toward reclaiming the moments that matter. Put the phone down at the table. Look your child in the eyes when you get home. Tell the truth about where technology has a grip on you. Ask for help where you need help. Growth begins when a father stops hiding, brings the struggle into the light, and chooses presence again. Not perfectly, but faithfully.

    1h 24m

  2. APR 28

    Breaking the Cycle w/ Kevin O'Donnell

    What does it look like to be on the other side of fatherhood? In this episode, the conversation shifts from the daily grind of raising young kids to a long-view perspective from a father who has walked through it all. The tension is real for many dads. You’re in the middle of diapers, discipline, and exhaustion, trying to make the right decisions without knowing how it all plays out. This episode brings clarity to that uncertainty by showing what matters most over time. Through honest reflection and lived experience, this conversation centers on the idea that fatherhood is not about getting everything right, but about staying present, intentional, and grounded in what truly shapes your kids. It’s a look at how small, consistent choices compound over years into trust, connection, and lasting influence. In This Episode: • What it looks like to move from active parenting into the “grown and gone” season and why it lasts longer than you think • How one father broke unhealthy generational patterns and chose a different path for his family • The role of mentorship and why many young fathers are navigating life without guidance • Why discipline in time, prayer, and daily rhythms matters more than most dads realize • How modeling respect and love in marriage shapes what your kids will look for in relationships • The importance of creating consistent space for communication, even when life feels too busy • Navigating challenging seasons like teenage years, dating, and letting go of control • A real picture of what your kids remember and value most when they look back Key Themes: • Generational responsibility and intentional change • Presence over control • Modeling identity through action • Emotional safety and open communication • Discipline in spiritual leadership • Long-term impact over short-term wins Takeaway: Fatherhood is built in moments that feel small and often unnoticed. The way you listen, the way you treat your spouse, the way you show up when you’re tired. These are the things that shape your children far more than perfect decisions ever could. You won’t control every outcome, and you won’t get every moment right, but you can choose to stay present, stay humble, and stay committed to growing. Over time, that kind of fatherhood leaves a mark that carries far beyond your home and into the generations that follow.

    52 min

  3. APR 14

    Breaking the Cycle: Becoming the Interruption - 5 of 5

    This episode brings the series to a close by zooming out and asking a bigger question: what kind of legacy are you building in your home right now? Not the distant, abstract kind, but the everyday patterns your kids are already absorbing and calling “normal.” The conversation centers on the quiet weight fathers carry, knowing their reactions, habits, and emotional tone are shaping how their children will one day live, relate, and parent. There’s an honest tension here. Many dads feel like they’re behind, like they’ve already missed too many moments or made too many mistakes. But instead of staying stuck in that, this episode reframes the goal. It’s not about catching up perfectly. It’s about choosing a direction and becoming the interruption that changes the trajectory for the next generation. In This Episode: • A candid look at how kids mirror what we say and do, even when it doesn’t reflect our true heart • The realization that everyday reactions, especially in frustration, shape a child’s sense of safety • Practical shifts from reacting to coaching, helping kids understand their choices instead of just correcting them • The idea that patterns don’t stop on their own and require intentional interruption • A story of choosing connection over frustration in a bedtime conflict • Why consistency in the small, mundane moments matters more than big parenting “wins” • The emotional atmosphere of a home and how a father sets the tone without realizing it • A challenge to identify and confront one significant pattern instead of avoiding it Key Themes: • Generational patterns and intentional interruption • Presence and emotional atmosphere in the home • Consistency over intensity • Faithfulness over flawlessness • Identity, humility, and growth • Legacy through everyday choices Takeaway: You don’t have to fix everything at once, and you don’t have to become a perfect dad. What matters is deciding that the patterns you’ve inherited don’t get to continue unchecked. Every small choice to pause, connect, apologize, or respond differently is part of building something new. Your kids are already forming their understanding of what’s normal, and you have the opportunity to shape that in a better direction starting today. Stay consistent, stay humble, and keep moving forward. The work you’re doing right now is bigger than you can see, and it’s worth it.

    1h 13m

  4. MAR 31

    11. Breaking the Cycle: Rewriting the Pattern in Real Time - 4 of 5

    There are moments in fatherhood where you can feel it building. The pressure, the frustration, the sense that you’re about to react in a way you know you’ll regret. This episode steps directly into those moments and asks a simple but difficult question: what if change doesn’t happen later, but right there in real time? As fathers, we often recognize patterns after the fact. But the real work is learning to interrupt them while they’re happening. This conversation explores how small, intentional pauses can reshape how you respond under pressure, helping you move from reaction to leadership in the moments that matter most. In This Episode: • Real-life moments where frustration builds and the choice to pause changes the outcome • The hidden “story” we tell ourselves that drives our reactions in stressful situations • Why pressure reveals who we are rather than changing who we are. • The challenge of coming home depleted and still choosing presence with your kids • How mornings, time pressure, and chaos expose gaps in patience and preparation • A simple framework for change: pause, name what’s happening, and choose your response • The role of apology and repair in breaking long-standing patterns Key Themes: • Self-awareness in high-pressure moments • Emotional regulation over reaction • Ownership without defensiveness • Consistency in small decisions • Modeling emotional health for children • Identity shaped through intentional action Takeaway: Real change in fatherhood doesn’t come from big declarations, but from small decisions made in the middle of real life. The pause, even if it’s just a few seconds, creates space to choose who you want to be instead of falling back into who you’ve always been. You won’t get it right every time, but each moment is an opportunity to grow, repair, and lead with intention. Over time, those small choices reshape not just your patterns, but the kind of father your children experience every day.

    52 min

  5. MAR 17

    Breaking the Cycle: Taking Ownership Without Carrying Shame - 3 of 5

    Every father has moments he wishes he could rewind. A reaction that came out too sharp. A promise forgotten. A situation where the response had more to do with his own stress or past than with what his child actually needed. Those moments can quietly shape how a father sees himself. Some men use them as a chance to grow. Others begin to believe they are simply failing. In this episode, the podcast explores the difference between taking ownership and carrying shame. Fathers cannot break unhealthy cycles if they refuse to look honestly at their patterns. But growth also cannot happen if a man begins to believe his failures define him. Real change begins when a father learns how to acknowledge what needs to change while beginning to live into the identity that has been given to him by our creator. In This Episode: • Why a father’s personal health and inner life always place a ceiling on the quality of his relationships with his kids • A discussion about how awareness of unhealthy patterns is only the first step toward real change • The critical difference between guilt that leads to growth and shame that attacks a man’s identity • Personal stories about seasons of addiction, overwork, and the ways shame can quietly isolate fathers from their families • How statements like “this is just the way I am” lock unhealthy cycles in place and prevent transformation • What ownership actually looks like in everyday parenting moments such as apologizing, repairing trust, and adjusting responses • Why humility and long term commitment to growth matter far more than trying to be a perfect father Key Themes: • Ownership without shame • Identity rooted beyond failure • Humility as the path to growth • Generational patterns and intentional change • Repentance as realignment rather than condemnation • Long term transformation in fatherhood Takeaway: Breaking unhealthy cycles in fatherhood does not begin with perfection. It begins with honesty. A father who is willing to admit where he has fallen short, apologize when necessary, and keep growing is already moving in the right direction. Shame tells a man that his failures define him and that change is impossible. Ownership says something different. It says that while mistakes are real, growth is still possible. When fathers learn to take responsibility without losing hope, they become the kind of steady and humble men their children need. Over time, those small moments of ownership become the foundation for a new legacy.

    53 min

  6. MAR 3

    Breaking the Cycle: Separating Inheritance from Identity - 2 of 5

    What shaped you is not the same thing as who you are. In this episode, we slow down and examine the messages we absorbed growing up about masculinity, emotions, discipline, success, and worth. Most of us never consciously chose those beliefs. We inherited them. And over time, those inherited scripts quietly began to feel like identity. The tension is real. How do you honor your story without being defined by it? How do you acknowledge what your father modeled without automatically repeating it? This conversation invites you to separate understanding from excuse, inheritance from identity. Presence, not perfection, becomes the path forward. In This Episode: • The difference between becoming aware of patterns and untangling the beliefs underneath them • How messages about masculinity and emotional restraint shape the way we lead at home • The subtle ways work, conflict, and discipline habits get carried into our own marriages and parenting • What it means to “borrow” emotional regulation from our parents and how that impacts our kids • The hidden inner scripts many men carry, like “I’m not enough” or “I have to handle this alone” • Why understanding your story is healthy, but using it as an excuse keeps you stuck • A practical reframing of identity through intentional choices and renewed thinking • Real reflections on slow growth, grinding change, and learning to parent differently over time Key Themes: • Inheritance versus identity • Emotional availability and regulation • Personal responsibility and growth • Intentional fatherhood over autopilot living • Generational impact through daily choices Takeaway: What shaped you may explain you, but it does not define you. The beliefs you absorbed, the wounds you carry, and the patterns you learned are a starting point, not a sentence. Growth begins when you move the script from “this is who I am” to “this is something I learned.” From there, you choose differently. Small, steady changes practiced daily can shift the trajectory of your home for generations. You did not choose the family you were raised in, but you do get to choose the family you are building. And every time you choose intention over pattern, you are breaking the cycle.

    1h 17m

  7. FEB 17

    Breaking the Cycle: Seeing the Cycle Clearly - 1 of 5

    Every father carries something into parenting that he didn’t consciously choose. Patterns. Reactions. Assumptions. Some are good. Some quietly cause damage. In this episode, we begin a new series focused on breaking cycles that were formed long before we ever held our own children. You may have had a great dad. You may have had a difficult one. Either way, fatherhood has a way of exposing parts of you that were buried for years. The goal is not to blame the past. It’s to become aware of it. Because awareness is where growth begins. You don’t have to be perfect. But you do have to be present and honest about what shaped you. In This Episode: • Why copying your father or doing the opposite of him both miss the deeper work • How parenting exposes stress patterns and emotional reactions you didn’t know were there • The difference between treating behaviors and addressing root wounds • The concept of “no bad parts” and approaching your struggles with curiosity instead of shame • How childhood wounds quietly shape your responses to conflict, intimacy, work, and discipline • The connection between hidden shame and destructive coping patterns • Why awareness is the first step toward breaking generational cycles • Practical encouragement to slow down and identify unhealthy patterns before trying to fix them Key Themes: • Generational cycles and inherited patterns • Awareness before correction • Shame-free self-examination • Emotional maturity and ownership • Healing old wounds to protect future generations Takeaway Breaking the cycle starts with honesty. Not blame. Not shame. Just clarity. When you slow down and ask what shaped you, you begin separating who you are from what you inherited. You are not defined by your wounds, but you are responsible for how you respond to them. The work may feel uncomfortable, but it is deeply hopeful. Every step toward awareness is a step toward becoming the steady, present father your children need.

    53 min

  8. FEB 3

    The Long Game of Influence w/ Joel Kovacs

    In this wrap-up conversation for the Presence over Perfection theme, we sit down with our first guest father, Joel Kovacs, to explore what presence looks like over the long haul. This episode steps back from tactics and zooms out to the deeper work of fatherhood: how presence, health, and intentionality shape who our kids become over time. We explore the tension many dads feel between providing, leading, and staying emotionally connected. This episode confronts the reality that being physically present is not the same as being emotionally safe, and that influence with our kids is built slowly through trust, consistency, and humility, not control or perfection. In This Episode: • How early assumptions about fatherhood often form unconsciously • The difference between being reactionary as a dad and leading with intention • Why healing your own story matters for how your kids experience you • How presence creates influence, especially as kids grow into their teenage years • The role of trust, emotional safety, and timing in shaping your child’s growth • Learning when to speak, when to listen, and when to wait • Why leadership in the home is more about influence than authority Key Themes: • Presence as a long-term investment • Emotional health and self-awareness • Influence built through trust • Leadership through humility and clarity • Intentional parenting over reactive parenting Takeaway: Presence is not a momentary choice, it is a posture built over years. This episode reminds us that our kids are always learning from who we are when we show up, not just from what we say. Growth in fatherhood requires both action and inner work, choosing to lead even when we feel unprepared, while committing to become healthier along the way. When fathers pursue presence with humility and intention, they create space for trust, influence, and lasting connection that carries far beyond childhood.

    1h 13m
See All (14)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Building up fathers in a way that encourages them to love themselves and their families the way God loves His people.

Information

  • Creator
    Jared and Ryan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Jared and Ryan
  • Show Website
    Building Up Fathers

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