In this episode of The Closeted Hour, we go deep into what it actually means to break cycles—not in the motivational, “just try harder” way, but in a grounded, psychologically informed, human way. If you’ve ever found yourself repeating the same patterns, stuck between awareness and action, or frustrated by how hard change feels even when you want it, this conversation is for you. We explore behavioral change through the Transtheoretical Model of Change, a framework that honors the reality that change is not linear, fast, or clean. Instead, it unfolds in stages—each with its own emotional weight, resistance, insight, and growth. This model becomes especially powerful when viewed through the lens of trauma, self-doubt, and long-held survival behaviors. Together, we unpack each stage of change and how it shows up in real life: • Precontemplation — when patterns feel invisible, normalized, or “just the way things are,” often rooted in survival or conditioning • Contemplation — the uncomfortable awareness phase where insight arrives but action hasn’t yet followed • Preparation — the moment of internal commitment, where boundaries, intention, and self-trust begin forming • Action — where behavior shifts, discomfort rises, and the nervous system learns something new • Maintenance — the integration phase, where change becomes identity, not effort • Relapse — reframed not as failure, but as information, feedback, and part of sustainable growth This episode speaks directly to those who’ve experienced trauma, invalidation, or environments that taught them to stay small, silent, or compliant. We examine how cycles of self-doubt, people-pleasing, avoidance, burnout, and imposter syndrome are often adaptive responses—and how honoring that truth is the first step toward lasting change. We also talk about: • Why willpower alone isn’t enough to create change • How nervous system regulation plays a role in behavior • The difference between “forcing” change and embodying it • How long-term change is built over 30 days, 90 days, and six months • Turning habits into a lifestyle instead of another temporary fix This is an episode about compassion over criticism, awareness over shame, and progress over perfection. Breaking cycles doesn’t mean becoming someone new—it means returning to yourself with more clarity, agency, and choice. If you’re in the in-between—aware but hesitant, motivated but exhausted—this episode will help you understand where you are, why you’re there, and how to move forward without abandoning yourself in the process. You’re not behind. You’re in a stage. And stages can change.
