Light in the Battle: Autism, Single Motherhood and Trauma Recovery

Faustina

Light in the Battle is a podcast for autistic and AuDHD single mothers recovering from narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse, and legal abuse while navigating family court, high-conflict co-parenting, autistic burnout, and raising autistic or PDA children. Practical, ND-friendly, trauma-informed tools for nervous system regulation, custody stress, sensory overwhelm, trauma recovery, documentation, communication, and rebuilding stability after coercive control.

  1. 2d ago

    37. Injustice Wounds in Family Court (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse, Autism) | Inner Stability, Season 3

    What happens when something profoundly unfair happens to you, namely in family court — and your (autistic) brain simply cannot let it go? Welcome back to Season 3 of Light in the Battle : Inner Stability, where we're exploring what it takes for autistic women to remain regulated while navigating trauma, narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse, legal abuse and high-conflict co-parenting. In this episode, we're talking about injustice wounds, sometimes called injustice trauma: the experience of injustice that doesn't simply feel upsetting, but feels unresolved. For survivors, that might mean being lied about, misunderstood, invalidated, watching manipulation succeed, dealing with an unfair court outcome, facing smear campaigns, or seeing harmful behavior go without consequences. Especially hard when you’re watching it happen to your kids. And for some women with autism, the combination of strongpattern recognition, a drive for consistency and coherence, and sensitivity to perceived unfairness can make these experiences particularly difficult to put down. We talk about: Why injustice can become such a powerful triggerAutism, fairness and unresolved inconsistency⁠The compulsion to correct the record⁠Rumination and repeatedly trying to “solve” something that has already happenedHow injustice can keep your nervous system connected to the person or conflictWhy this consumes precious autistic capacityThe difference between accepting reality and approving of itWhy ⁠surrender ⁠may ultimately be necessary for emotional detachment Because sometimes you don't get the apology. The lie doesn't get corrected. The system doesn't acknowledge what happened. And justice may not arrive in the form you were waiting for. So how do you keep fighting the battles that actually needfighting — without continuing to fight the injustice inside your own head every day, as an autistic mom? That's what we're talking about today. Note: “Injustice wound” and “injustice trauma” are used in this episode as descriptive concepts, not formal clinical diagnoses. Follow Light in the Battle for more on autism, ASD, narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, legal abuse, post-separation abuse, autism, narcissism, NPD, autistic burnout, nervous system regulation and high-conflict co-parenting. Take it one day at a time.

    37. Injustice Wounds in Family Court (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse, Autism) | Inner Stability, Season 3
  2. Aug 10

    36. Autistic Burnout Recovery for Adults & the Low-Demand Lifestyle: You Can’t Function Like You Used To (Narcissistic Abuse, Trauma, Autism, Legal & Post-Separation Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

    What do you do when this isn't ordinary exhaustion, and this isn’t temporary dysregulation anymore—your capacity has actually collapsed? You may be experiencing autistic burnout.   Autistic Burnout Recovery: You Can’t Function Like You Used To — Low-Demand Lifestyle If evern thinking about it is too much, off ramp here: Autistic Burnout Meditation. Welcome back to Season 3 of Light in the Battle: Inner Stability — a podcast for autistic women navigating trauma recovery, narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse and high-conflict co-parenting. What happens when nervous system regulation isn't enough because you've already been overloaded for too long? You may reach a point where your capacity itself has dropped. Things you used to do easily, suddenly feel impossible. Executive functioning gets worse. Sensory tolerance decreases. Socializing costs more. Decisions become harder. You need longer to recover from ordinary demands. And yet you're looking at the person you used to be and thinking: Why can't I just function like I used to? This episode is about autistic burnout — and why trying harder may be exactly the wrong response. We explore: • What autistic burnout can look like in adult women• The difference between temporary dysregulation and a deeper loss of capacity• Executive functioning difficulties during burnout• Increased sensory sensitivity and reduced social capacity• Why legal abuse, post-separation abuse, parenting, work and chronic unpredictability can create relentless demands on the autistic brain, with very little opportunity for recovery• Why comparing your current capacity to your previous capacity doesn't help• How to aggressively reduce demands when you're already in the hole• A practical four-category system: must happen / can be simplified / can wait / can disappear entirely• Easier meals, repeated outfits, predictable routines, fewer decisions, fewer commitments and protected sensory recovery• Why rest and recovery aren't necessarily the same thing (listen to Episode 8, Rest vs. Escape)• How to rebuild gradually without immediately filling every bit of capacity that comes back. This is where the low-demand lifestyle becomes morethan a nice idea. When you're in autistic burnout, your standards may need tochange temporarily. Dinner can be easy. The laundry can wait. You can declinethe invitation. You can wear the same clothes. You can stop stacking stressful appointments. You can automate recurring decisions. And an upsetting email that doesn't require an immediate response can become tomorrow's problem. The goal isn't to abandon your responsibilities. It's to become ruthless about distinguishing an actualresponsibility from a standard, expectation, habit or unnecessary demand. And as capacity begins to return, resist the temptation toimmediately fill the space. Keep the low-demand lifestyle, the low-demand frame. Because autistic burnout recovery isn't about forcingyourself back into the exact life that burned through your capacity in the first place. It's an opportunity to build differently for the future. Season 3 is about Inner Stability. And sometimesinner stability means accepting: My capacity has changed. So, for now, my expectations need to change with it. Follow Light in the Battle for more on autism, autistic burnout recovery, nervous system regulation, trauma recovery, narcissistic abuse, legal abuse and post-separation abuse. Disclaimer: Light in the Battle shares lived experience and educational information and is not a substitute for individualized medical, mental health or legal advice. Take it one day at a time. And practice this Autistic Burnout Meditation.

    36. Autistic Burnout Recovery for Adults & the Low-Demand Lifestyle: You Can’t Function Like You Used To (Narcissistic Abuse, Trauma, Autism, Legal & Post-Separation Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3
  3. Jul 27

    35. Proactive Nervous System Regulation as a Lifestyle: It Starts Before You're Overwhelmed (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

    Regulation, and inner stability, isn't just the stuff you do when you're overwhelmed. It's the way you arrange your lifestyle, so overwhelm becomes less frequent. This Episode is for autistic single moms who may be asking themselves, "How can I build a life that helps my nervous system reach overwhelm less often in the first place?" Welcome back to Season 3 of Light in the Battle: Inner Stability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with. Most advice about nervous system regulation starts at the wrong moment. It comes when you're already overwhelmed, and already in one of the four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. You're already having a panic attack. Already shutting down. Already wondering why you can't think straight. And then someone tells you to take a deep breath. And while breathing exercises can absolutely be helpful, they're only one small piece of the puzzle. In this episode, we're taking a different approach. Instead of asking, "How do I calm myself down once I'm overwhelmed?" we're asking: "How can I build a life that helps my nervous system reach overwhelm less often in the first place?" That's what I call proactive nervous system regulation. It’s prevention. In this episode, we explore: • Why regulation starts long before you're overwhelmed • How to think of your nervous system as having a limited daily capacity • The difference between activities that drain your energy and those that restore it - like the battery on your smartphone. • Why lowering unnecessary demands is one of the keys, as a recovery strategy • How predictable routines can reduce the mental load on an autistic nervous system • The importance of recognizing your own early warning signs before reaching a breaking point • Why giving yourself permission to pause can be one of the most regulating things you do • How we sometimes unintentionally keep our nervous system activated by replaying conflict, checking for danger or mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios • Why discomfort doesn't always mean danger If you've spent years believing that you simply need to become tougher, more productive or better at coping, and you’re now asking yourself “what’s wrong with me?”… This episode offers another perspective. Maybe the goal isn't to become someone who can tolerate endless stress, and push through forever. Maybe the goal is to stop asking your nervous system to push through things it no longer needs to survive. One of the most powerful questions you can begin asking yourself is: "Is this worth spending my capacity on?" Because your capacity is finite. Not your intelligence, nor your love for your children, nor your resilience. Your capacity. And learning to protect it may be one of the most important skills you'll ever develop. Inner stability isn't built through one breathing exercise or one perfect morning routine. It's built through hundreds of small choices that protect your energy, protect your nervous system, and save your “battery”, day in and day out.   Follow Light in the Battle to continue Season 3: Inner Stability, where we explore nervous system regulation, autism, trauma recovery, legal abuse, post-separation abuse and practical strategies for staying grounded in high-conflict environments. Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related to autism, trauma recovery and narcissistic abuse. It is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health or legal advice. Take it one day at a time.

    35. Proactive Nervous System Regulation as a Lifestyle: It Starts Before You're Overwhelmed (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3
  4. Jul 13

    34. Why You Shut Down, Freeze or Dissociate: Autism, Trauma Responses & the Nervous System (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

    Here we explore the difference between * the Freeze trauma response, * autistic Shutdown, and * Dissociation in autistic women in trauma recovery.   Welcome back to Season 3 of Light in the Battle:Inner Stability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with. Find me on Facebook. In Episode 32, we explored why high-conflict co-parentingis such a uniquely dysregulating environment for autistic women. In Episode 33, we looked at what happens when trauma teaches the autistic nervous system to expect danger. Now we're looking at what can happen when that systemreaches capacity. Freeze. Shutdown. Dissociation. They aren't the same thing, although they can overlap — and when you're an autistic single mother navigating trauma recovery, CPTSD, PTSD, sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction and high-conflict situations, figuring out exactly what's happening inside your brain and body can be complicated. Sometimes you know exactly what needs to be done... but you can't do it. You stare at the email for three hours. You can't make the phone call. Someone asks you an unexpected question, and suddenly youcan't find your words. You're physically present during a conversation, butmentally, you're somewhere else entirely. Or maybe you've held it together through the court deadline,the difficult message from your ex, work, noise, a changed schedule and your child's meltdown — and then it turns out it's time for dinner. And that's what finally breaks the system. In this episode, we explore: A brief reminder of the 4 trauma responses –fight, flight, freeze and fawn.What a trauma freeze response can look like ineveryday lifeThe difference between trauma-related freeze and autistic shutdownHow sensory overload, emotional stress, uncertainty and accumulated demands can push an autistic woman's nervous system beyond capacityWhy autism and trauma responses can be so difficult to separateWhat dissociation can actually feel like — including the less dramatic forms people may not recognizeWhy you can appear completely functional on the outside while having absolutely nothing left internallyHow masking can hide the true extent of overwhelmWhy freeze, shutdown and dissociation can affect communication, decision-making, memory and self-advocacyWhy all of this matters when you're dealing with narcissistic abuse, high-conflict co-parenting or legal abuse in family court For autistic women, the question isn't simply: "What triggered this? What am I afraid of?" Today, the better question is: "How many things has my brain been forced toprocess?" Is it an autistic shutdown? A trauma response? Sensoryoverload? Executive dysfunction? Or several of the above at once? Well, there isn't a clean answer. But understanding what's happening matters — because when your system is overwhelmed, you may struggle to communicate clearly, make decisions, recall information or stay present during important interactions. And for an autistic survivor of narcissistic abuse navigating high-conflict co-parenting or family court, inner stability is part of being able to function. Sometimes your system isn't refusing to function. It's telling you that its capacity has been exceeded. In Episode 32, we looked at the environment. In Episode 33, we looked at what trauma can do to the nervous system. Here, we're looking at what can happen when that system reaches capacity. And next, we will start talking about what we can actually doabout it. Follow Light in the Battle to continue Season 3:Inner Stability, a journey through autism, ASD, nervous system regulation, trauma recovery and staying stable in high-conflict situations. Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experiencerelated to autism, ASD, narcissistic abuse recovery, legal abuse and trauma recovery. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal or mental health advice. Take it one day at a time.

    34. Why You Shut Down, Freeze or Dissociate: Autism, Trauma Responses & the Nervous System (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3
  5. Jun 15

    32. Why Autistic Women's Nervous Systems get so Dysregulated in High-Conflict Co-Parenting (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

    In this episode, we explore: • Why high-conflict co-parenting is uniquely dysregulatingfor autistic women • How ASD nervous systems respond to unpredictability and coparenting conflict • Why your body may feel constantly “on alert” after narcissistic abuse • Hypervigilance, overthinking, fawning, and emotional exhaustion • The impact of high-conflict coparenting on sleep, sensory overwhelm, executive functioning, your parenting bandwidth, and your work capacity. • Why autistic women often mask, fawn, or over-explain under stress • How nervous system dysregulation affects communication and legal strategy • Why emotional detachment is difficult when the body still feels unsafe Welcome to Season 3 of Light in the Battle : InnerStability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with. In Season 2, we focused on Emotional Detachment: * Breaking the Trauma Bond * PTSD and CPTSD recovery * forgiveness, not reconciliation * codependency as a general concept but more specifically in autistic women here. * the importance of fellowship and mentorship * gratitude after narcissistic abuse * surrender * grief The goal was to suggest an overall journey to go through in order to detach and become a Family Court Ninja. Here we move into the next phase, learning how to stabilize your nervous system while living through high-conflict realities. In your daily to day.   Because understanding narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse and legal abuse is one thing. But functioning calmly, strategically and consistently while dealing with family court anxiety, co-parenting conflict, unpredictability, and emotional pressure, is something else entirely. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, high-conflict co-parenting becomes more than a legal situation. It becomes a chronic nervous system stressor. And autistic women are especially vulnerable to this because many of us rely on: * predictability, * emotional safety, * routine, * clear rules to follow, to function well. When those disappear, the nervous system may begin reacting as though danger is constant. That can look like: * re-reading messages repeatedly * adrenaline spikes when you hear notifications * freezing during conflict * difficulty relaxing when the child is away * constant mental scanning. This episode is not about blaming yourself for your reactions. It’s about understanding why your system responds this way — and why regulation matters. Because you cannot stay strategic, emotionally detached or calm under pressure, if your nervous system is constantly in survival mode. This season is about learning how to build Inner Stability. 👉 Follow the show to continue Season 3👉Leave a 5* review if this podcast is helping you navigate trauma recovery, autism (ASD), and high-conflict co-parenting 👉 Follow Light in the Battle on Facebook for daily hacks and to DM me directly if needed. Take it one day at a time. Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice. High conflict coparenting, high conflict divorce, family court, custody battle, narcissistic abuse survivor, autism, autistic single mother

    32. Why Autistic Women's Nervous Systems get so Dysregulated in High-Conflict Co-Parenting (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3
  6. May 17

    30. Stop Explaining Yourself – to your High-Conflict Coparent, as an ASD Mom, or as the Parent of a PDA child: Narcissistic Abuse and PTSD Recovery and Reclaiming your Agency.

    We've been trained to explain ourselves. Either through a toxic abusive relationship, through a lifetime of living with autism and being misunderstood, or by walking the journey of raising a child with autism and/or PDA. It's taking energy away from what matters: your mental health, and your kids. When people are committed to misunderstanding you, consciously or not, share what you have to share and keep it moving. In this episode Faustina reflects on her journey with all of the above and explains why sharing less, is actually safer. In the context of coparenting with a narcissist, or someone who exhibits dysfunctional traits of behavior, the way you communicate, and how much content you produce as you attempt to explain your decisions, can be used against you in family court. Judges won't be able to see who the safe, child-focused parent is if you ramble and come from an emotional place. Detach, share what you legally have to share, and be on your merry way. In the context of raising a PDA child, you'll be making decisions that most parents won't understand. And unless they are willing to educate themselves and research PDA, there is approximately zero point in explaining why you're raising the kids this or that way. It's not your job to educate people when every ounce of your energy must be preserved. In the context of a late autism diagnosis, and faced with the adjustments that you make to your life as you start to unmask, the people who have known you for a long time won't take it well either. Maybe they can't be friends with the person you really are without the autistic masking. Maybe they weren't the right people for you all along. Unless they behave like safe people, they don't deserve your explanations. You're already exhausted from figuring out how to function in a neurotypical world. Please take whatever resonates with you to the attention of a legal or mental health professional. You DO have to disclose certain things to your coparent, and you DO want to build safe connection with your safe people as you crawl your way out of CPTSD or PTSD.

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Light in the Battle is a podcast for autistic and AuDHD single mothers recovering from narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse, and legal abuse while navigating family court, high-conflict co-parenting, autistic burnout, and raising autistic or PDA children. Practical, ND-friendly, trauma-informed tools for nervous system regulation, custody stress, sensory overwhelm, trauma recovery, documentation, communication, and rebuilding stability after coercive control.

You Might Also Like