They Don't Pay Us to Talk

Ethan Johnson
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  • Comedy Fiction
  • Updated Weekly

What was supposed to be the official Welp/Nope Tour podcast is quickly overrun by the Temptress from the Mythical Realm, and chaos ensues. Hal, the podcast host and booth announcer for the tour and HOLL-E, the sideline reporter with a potentially catastrophic secret of her own desperately try to hold the show together. Will this EVER be about the actual tour? Find out today! NOTE: This is a serialized show. Starting from episode 1 is strongly encouraged. NEW episodes every Thursday! (Eastern Time)

  1. Feb 5

    19: The Season Finale

    At long last, the story has built up to this moment! Which, to be fair, can be said about every single episode, but were any of them a super-sized action packed season finale? No, they were not. Definitely not one to be missed, especially if you listened to the other 18 installments!

    20 min

  2. Jan 29

    18: Firmly Ensconced in the Eventide

    So, um... yeah. About last week. if you can even read this right now (and if you can, how?), everything was kind of blown into quantum spaghetti by a certain group of well-meaning idiots whose name rhymes with "Supernatural Police". So... enjoy this episode of quantum static or whatever. It's all we have left!

    27 min

  3. Jan 22

    17: Zero Hour

    A demon incursion threatens Talisman City, and more to the point, the Supernatural Police, but Commander Hiroto is on the case! And by that, we mean Sir David draws his steel and is prepared to slice the demons to ribbons with the beautiful but deadly Not Axa at his side. Said nobody ever, because this is the exciting Supernatural Police episode you've been waiting for! Aye, but Mordred the Mauve... you know what, you should probably just tune in to the episode and hear it for yourself. Don't forget, the video version is on YouTube as well! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9nR-G8ssnDOXrfmsqD8wxQ

    24 min

  4. Jan 15

    16: Three-Way Identity Crisis

    What was once a nice unassuming mini golf podcast is now Ground Zero for epic space adventure AND swords-and-sorcery drama, and oh look, the Temptress and HOLL-E are here too. Will this EVER be about mini golf? Don't hold your breath.

    16 min

  5. Jan 8

    15: Who Even Knows, Anymore

    Good grief, never mind the Supreme Evil Creature with More Names Than You Can Shake a Stick At, this is the podcast that makes "scope creep" seem like a natural rite of passage. So many characters! So many plot lines! And what about... Naomi? Who even knows, anymore. I guess, just tune in and see what happens, same as every episode. Merch! https://taters-gonna-shop.printify.me/

    11 min

  6. Jan 1

    #14: We're Due for a Ludicrous Development

    The Temptress and HOLL-E make a desperate attempt to save Hal from Tee Two, only to have demons from the Mythical Realm arrive in a show of overwhelming force. Is this the end? Will the Temptress be doomed to endure the ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT? Fortunately, this is a comedy podcast, so... doubtful. As an aside, Ethan is very ready for CrunchyRoll to offer up a 3-season deal. You'll find out why soon enough.

    18 min

  7. 12/25/2025

    #13: Let the Dice Decide

    Sure, it's all fun and games until there are more storylines than hairs on Ethan's head. What to do? The Mythical Announcer has come up with a novel solution. Will your favorite subplot get any air time this week? Well... let's see what fate has decided.

    20 min

  8. 12/18/2025

    #12: Right, Where Were We?

    After a brief break with a whole lot of Ethan and Jaime involvement and even a Welp Nope Tour update from the road, it's time to get back to the REAL story: What happened to Allison after she was sent away by Ethan and Jaime. Are you sitting down? Just asking. This podcast is totally portable and you can be anywhere, doing anything while it runs. Just let it run through to the end. Like our nonsense? Want to support it for reals? Check out taters-gonna-shop.printify.me and see what's new! We appreciate your support in all its forms.

    17 min
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About

What was supposed to be the official Welp/Nope Tour podcast is quickly overrun by the Temptress from the Mythical Realm, and chaos ensues. Hal, the podcast host and booth announcer for the tour and HOLL-E, the sideline reporter with a potentially catastrophic secret of her own desperately try to hold the show together. Will this EVER be about the actual tour? Find out today! NOTE: This is a serialized show. Starting from episode 1 is strongly encouraged. NEW episodes every Thursday! (Eastern Time)

Information

  • Creator
    Ethan Johnson
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Ethan Johnson
  • Show Website
    They Don't Pay Us to Talk