Who Do You Think You Are Talking To Podcast

Jenny Maxwell
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  • Self-Improvement
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Hey, I'm Jenny, and if you're stuck in the cycle of overthinking, shutting down, snapping at people you love, or crying at work (again), Who Do You Think You Are Talking To is for you. This is the podcast for people who want to stop reacting on autopilot and start responding with emotional intelligence, especially in tough conversations. You'll learn how to: - manage emotional triggers in real-time - calm your nervous system when you're overwhelmed - stop spiralling after conflict or silence - speak with clarity and confidence—even when it's hard - hold boundaries without over-explaining - repair relationships without losing yourself Whether you freeze, explode, or go into full people-pleasing mode when things get tense, this show will help you feel more grounded, in control, and connected, to yourself and to the people who matter. Every episode offers honest insights, practical strategies, and tools for communicating under pressure, building emotional resilience, and actually enjoying the relationships in your life. If you're ready to change how you show up in conversations, from your partner, to your boss, to your own inner critic, hit follow now so you never miss an episode. Let's take the shame out of speaking up and give you the tools to talk like the grounded, clear, powerful person you already are.

  1. 6d ago

    Nine Years, One Click, and the Smallest Action That Changes Everything

    DON'T MISS OUT – SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SUNDAY NEWSLETTER Do you want to feel more confident, take control of your emotional reactions and build healthier relationships? Every Sunday, I share real-life stories, honest reflections and practical tools to help you break old habits, communicate better and make small changes that have a lasting impact. Think of it as a little extra support in your inbox each week, helping you put what we talk about on the podcast into practice. https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share What if the biggest change in your life started with one tiny decision you've been putting off? Welcome to episode 100 of Who Do You Think You Were Talking To? One hundred episodes! And to celebrate, I want to share a story that reminded me exactly why I started this podcast and why I believe so strongly in the power of small, consistent actions. Recently, a woman I'd never met booked a discovery call with me. She'd never worked with a coach before, and the first thing she said was, "I don't even know what to ask. I don't even know where to start." I knew exactly how she felt. Because before I ever took that first step towards changing my own life, I spent nine years feeling unhappy, frustrated and stuck in patterns I didn't know how to break. Nine years of reacting emotionally, feeling disconnected from myself and knowing something needed to change, but not knowing where to begin. In this episode, I'm sharing what happened during that discovery call, how learning to manage my emotional reactions transformed my relationships with my children, and why the smallest act of self-care can be the beginning of real, lasting personal growth. We also explore something I see all the time in my habit change coaching: how easily we put our own needs last, convince ourselves we haven't earned a little time for ourselves, and wait for the perfect moment to start making changes. But here's what I've learned. You don't need to have everything figured out before you start. You just need to take one small action. And sometimes, that action is as simple as giving yourself permission to enjoy a cup of coffee, take a longer shower or spend ten minutes doing something just for you.   What You'll Learn in This Episode -  Why taking the first step towards change feels so difficult, especially when you're unsure what you need or where to begin. -  How to stop feeling stuck in the same emotional reactions and behaviour patterns. -  Why personal growth can positively influence your relationships, family life and business. -  How changing the way you communicate can help your children develop healthier communication habits. -  Why we often feel we have to earn rest, self-care or time for ourselves. -  How small daily actions can build self-respect, confidence and emotional awareness. -  How to use my Trigger, Pause, Respond approach to challenge automatic thoughts and make more intentional choices. -  Why consistency matters more than making big, dramatic changes. The Smallest Action Can Create the Biggest Shift One of my favourite moments from this discovery call came when I asked a simple question: What's one thing you could do for yourself today that you're not already doing? At first, the answers came with conditions. Things that needed to be bought, sold or earned before she could enjoy them. Sound familiar? How often do we tell ourselves we'll take a break when the work is finished, treat ourselves when we've achieved something, or start looking after ourselves when life settles down? But what if you didn't have to wait? That's where real habit change begins. By learning to recognise those automatic thoughts, pause before responding and choose a different action, you can start changing the way you treat yourself. And when you change how you treat yourself, that change can ripple into how you communicate, how you respond to difficult situations and how you show up in your relationships.   Resources & Ways to Connect Ready to make a change but not sure where to start? If you're struggling with emotional reactions, communication challenges, self-confidence or habits that keep holding you back, I'd love to have a conversation. A free discovery call is simply an opportunity for us to talk about where you are now, where you'd like to be and whether working together might be a good fit. Book a Free Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/jennymcoaching/initial-call?month=2026-10 Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching Final Thought: You Don't Have to Wait Nine Years Looking back, I wish I'd started making changes sooner. But what I've learned, and what I want you to take away from this 100th episode, is that lasting change doesn't happen because we suddenly become a completely different person. It happens through small choices, repeated consistently. You can learn to manage your emotional reactions, communicate more effectively, build stronger relationships and feel more confident in yourself. And you don't have to know exactly how you're going to get there before you begin. One small action today is enough to get started. Thank you for being part of these first 100 episodes. Whether you've listened from the beginning or you've only just found me, I'm grateful you're here. If this podcast has helped you, I'd love you to follow the show, leave a five-star rating and review, or share this episode with someone who might need to hear it. ONE LAST THING – HAVE YOU SIGNED UP FOR MY SUNDAY NEWSLETTER? Listening to the podcast is a great start, but putting what you learn into practice is where things begin to change. Every Sunday, I share more personal stories, practical communication tips and simple habit change exercises to help you keep moving forward. If you're ready to stop repeating the same patterns and start making small changes that actually stick, I'd love you to join me. SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SUNDAY NEWSLETTER HERE -  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share I'll see you in your inbox on Sunday!   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Nine Years, One Click, and the Smallest Action That Changes Everything

  2. Oct 21

    Stop Trying to Fix It (Until They Ask)

    Join Me Every Sunday Want more honest conversations and practical advice to help you navigate everyday life and relationships? Every Sunday, I share real stories, personal insights and simple tools you can put into practice in your own life. It's a chance to go a little deeper into the topics we explore on the podcast, with plenty of food for thought along the way. https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share This Episode Have you ever been telling someone about a difficult day, only for them to jump straight in with advice you never asked for? Or maybe you're the one who does the fixing. Someone you love is stressed, frustrated or upset, and before they've even finished talking, you're already thinking about what they should do. I know that feeling because I've been there myself. The problem is that even when our advice comes from a place of love, it doesn't always land that way. In this week's episode, I'm talking about why we feel the need to fix other people's problems, how unwanted advice can create resentment in our relationships, and what we can do instead to become better listeners. I'm sharing a conversation I had with a coaching client who noticed this pattern in her marriage, along with my own experiences of learning to listen differently as a parent. And I'm giving you four simple questions you can start using today to improve communication, support the people you love and stop taking responsibility for problems that aren't yours to solve. Why Trying to Fix Everything Can Damage Connection When someone we care about is struggling, our instinct is often to help them find a solution. But here's something I've learned through my own personal growth and coaching work: sometimes people don't need your advice. They just need to feel heard. Jumping in with solutions can unintentionally send the message that we don't trust the other person to work things out for themselves. And that's where resentment can begin. You feel frustrated because they aren't taking your advice. They feel frustrated because they never asked for it. Neither of you intended to create distance, but suddenly you're both feeling a little less understood. The good news? You can change this pattern, and it starts with curiosity. What You'll Learn in This Episode -  Why we instinctively try to fix other people's problems, even when they haven't asked for help. -  How unwanted advice can create frustration and resentment in relationships. -  The difference between listening to understand and listening to respond. -  Four practical questions that encourage better communication and emotional connection. -  How to stop taking responsibility for other people's feelings and decisions. -  Why curiosity is more powerful than judgment when someone is struggling. -  How to ask for emotional support when you're the one who needs to vent. -  How to use my Trigger, Pause, Respond approach to change your automatic reactions. Final Thoughts Learning to listen without jumping in to fix everything takes practice, especially when it's someone you love and you genuinely want to help. In this episode, I want you to think about how you show up in those everyday conversations. Are you really listening to understand, or are you already working out what the other person should do next? Small changes in how we communicate can make a big difference to our relationships. And sometimes, the best way to support someone isn't to offer a solution, but to give them the space to figure things out for themselves. So this week, pay attention to that urge to fix. Get curious, notice your reactions and see what happens when you approach a conversation a little differently. Don't Forget to Join Me Every Sunday If you've enjoyed this episode and you'd like more practical tools to help you change old habits, improve your relationships and navigate everyday life with a little more awareness, I'd love you to join my weekly newsletter. https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Stop Trying to Fix It (Until They Ask)

  3. Oct 15

    Family Boundaries: Why Setting the Record Straight Rarely Works

    Have you ever desperately wanted to set the record straight with someone who has completely misunderstood you, even though deep down you know they probably won't listen? Maybe it's a family member who insists on seeing you in a certain light. Maybe someone you love didn't defend you quite the way you'd hoped. Or perhaps you're lying awake at night, replaying a conversation and imagining all the things you wish you'd said. I've been there. And I know just how much energy we can waste trying to change someone else's opinion of us. In this episode, I'm talking about family boundaries, the need for validation, dealing with controlling family members, and why trying to prove yourself to someone who has already made up their mind rarely works. I'm sharing a conversation with a client that brought up something I think so many of us struggle with: the difference between wanting someone to understand us and actually needing their approval. And there's another important question I want you to consider: Who really gets a say in the decisions you make about your own life? Because sometimes the healthiest boundary isn't a confrontation or a dramatic falling-out. Sometimes it's simply deciding that someone else's opinion doesn't need to carry so much weight. In This Episode, I Explore:  -  Why we feel the need to defend ourselves -  What happens when someone has created a version of us that simply isn't true, and why we become so determined to correct it. -  How a loved one's silence can send us spiralling into assumptions that aren't supported by the facts. -  Why some people refuse to see us differently -  Understanding why certain family members may be more invested in being right or maintaining control than actually listening. - Setting boundaries without cutting people off And much more One of the things I've learned, both personally and through my work with clients, is that you can't make someone see you differently if they're determined to hold on to their version of you. You can explain yourself beautifully. You can present all the evidence. You can have the perfect words ready. And they still might not change their mind. That's frustrating, particularly when it's someone in your family. But continuing to chase their understanding can Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Family Boundaries: Why Setting the Record Straight Rarely Works

  4. Oct 7

    Why couples bicker over small things

    When was the last time you argued about dinner… and it wasn't really about dinner? The dishwasher. The weekend plans. The phone that gets more attention than the story you're telling. Small things can turn into big arguments, especially when you've been saying "it's fine" for weeks when it really isn't. In this episode, I'm talking about why couples bicker over small things, how unspoken needs can build into resentment, and how to ask for what you want before another disagreement takes over your day. I share a story from a coaching session where a client thought he was annoyed about lunch plans, spending money and a change of schedule. But underneath all those details was something he hadn't said out loud: "I want to be included." If you've ever agreed to something to keep the peace and then stayed quietly furious about it, you'll recognise this one. I certainly do. In this episode, I explore: - Why everyday disagreements can leave you feeling unheard, unnoticed or left out. - The difference between healthy compromise and saying yes when something really matters to you. - How "whatever, it's fine" can create confusion and resentment in your relationship. - Why expecting your partner to guess what's wrong can leave you both frustrated. - Two moments to pause: before you snap, and before you swallow what you really want to say. - My simple framework for asking for what you need: start with appreciation, make a clear request and explain how it helps you both. - How these communication skills carry into conversations with your children, friends, clients and team. The next time you catch yourself thinking, "We're arguing over nothing," ask yourself what you haven't said out loud yet. Do you want to feel included? Heard? Supported? I'd love you to pause long enough to name it. That gives you both something clearer to work with than another "it's fine" that neither of you believes.   Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Why couples bicker over small things

  5. Sep 30

    So You're Not the Chosen One - Here's What To Do With That.

    I didn't get picked. So now I'm questioning everything I bring to the table. I've been there. And whether it's a promotion, a friendship or a relationship, I know how quickly "they didn't choose me" can turn into "I'm not good enough." In this episode, I'm talking about that gut-punch feeling of being passed over, and how I can acknowledge the hurt without letting someone else's decision define my worth. I'm sharing a conversation with a client whose company restructure left her in a role she hadn't asked for and didn't want. On paper, it looked like a demotion. But when we stepped back and looked at what was happening around her, a very different picture emerged. That conversation got me thinking about the things I've chased, the recognition I've wanted and the times I've assumed that getting chosen would finally make me feel good enough. From wanting the front-and-centre spot in dance class to getting caught up in overscheduling my children, I've had my own lessons in confusing achievement with worth. And I'm asking a question that might feel a little uncomfortable: am I happy, or am I distracted by the applause? What you will learn:  - How I separate what happened from the story I'm telling myself about it. - Why I question the pull of titles, status and the next badge of honour. - What I've learned about showing leadership without waiting for a promotion. - How I recognise the conversations that pull me further into a spiral and step away. - Why I can feel disappointed and still recognise what's good in my life. I also share one simple writing exercise to help separate the facts from the labels, and explain why a pause before reacting can make such a difference. I'm not pretending rejection doesn't hurt. I'm exploring what becomes possible when I stop treating it as a verdict on who I am. If "why wasn't I chosen?" has been taking up too much space lately, join me for this episode. Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    So You're Not the Chosen One - Here's What To Do With That.

  6. Sep 23

    Not Ready Yet? You'll Never Be Ready.

    You don't need to be fitter before you begin. You don't need a full hour. And you definitely don't need to punish yourself for what you didn't do. One of my clients recently completed her first workout in a very long time. She moved for 30 minutes, felt energised, clear-headed and proud, and then immediately dismissed it with: "It was only half an hour." But since when did 30 minutes not count? In this episode, I'm challenging the 60-minute workout myth and the belief that exercise is only worthwhile if it leaves you completely exhausted. Research suggests that a 30-minute workout can be just as effective and sometimes more effective than exercising for an hour. But this conversation is about more than how long you exercise. When you constantly downplay your efforts, you don't just damage your motivation and self-confidence. You can end up missing the swim, avoiding the gym, turning down the invitation or waiting to enjoy your life until you believe your body is finally "good enough." I know, because I've done it too. I once convinced myself I wasn't fit enough to go back to the gym—which is fairly ridiculous when getting fitter is the entire reason for going. Whether you walk for 10 minutes, dance around your living room, carry shopping from the car or complete a 30-minute workout, it counts. Small, consistent actions will always matter more than one heroic effort followed by six days of soreness and avoidance. What you'll learn - Why a 30-minute workout can be enough to improve your health and fitness - What research tells us about 30-minute versus 60-minute workouts - Why longer workouts can sometimes leave you less active for the rest of the day - How consistency can be more effective than workout duration - Why everyday movement - including walking, cleaning and carrying shopping, still counts - How dismissing your progress affects your confidence and self-worth - Why you don't need to lose weight or get fit before joining a gym - How to recognise the old beliefs that trigger self-sabotage   - A simple way to celebrate your effort without waiting for anyone else's validation Final thought Stop waiting until you feel ready, fitter, thinner or more confident. You don't have to earn the right to participate in your own life. Start where you are, do what you can and allow yourself to feel good about it. You get to choose the story you tell yourself. Make it one that helps you move forward instead of one that keeps you standing on the sidelines. Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Not Ready Yet? You'll Never Be Ready.

  7. Sep 16

    Not All Your Friends Are Good For You (And That's Okay)

    How do you know if a friendship is no longer good for you? Pay attention to how you feel when you walk away. A true friend should leave you feeling supported and accepted - not judged, picked apart or smaller than you were before. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, and even for the friendship, is take a step back. In this episode, I'm talking about unhealthy friendships, setting boundaries and recognising when loyalty is keeping you connected to someone who may no longer be good for you. After hearing about someone I admire being criticised and belittled by the very people she called her friends, I started thinking about what real friendship should actually feel like. For me, a healthy friendship is built on trust, respect, honesty and reciprocity. It gives you the freedom to be yourself, celebrates your successes and allows you to speak openly when something doesn't feel right. I also explore why knowing someone for a long time doesn't automatically make them a true friend, how judgmental questions can damage a relationship and what you can say when someone keeps questioning your decisions. You don't always need a dramatic falling-out. Sometimes, quietly stepping back is enough.   What You Will Learn -  How to recognise the difference between a healthy and unhealthy friendship -  The signs that a friendship may have become one-sided -  Why loyalty and history aren't the same as true friendship -  How genuine friends respond when things are going well for you -  Why constantly trying to change or redirect another person is exhausting -  How giving someone the benefit of the doubt differs from accepting repeated bad behaviour -  Why "why" questions can feel judgmental and immediately put someone on the defensive -  Simple phrases you can use to shut down unwanted opinions -  How to set boundaries without causing a dramatic argument -  When it may be time to step back from or let go of a friendship Resources Join my weekly Sunday email list for real stories, honest teachings and practical support to help you feel a little less alone in whatever you're navigating:  https://jennymcoaching.com/emailme/ Follow me Instagram: @jennymcoaching LinkedIn: @JennyMaxwellCoaching Final Thought Take a moment to look honestly at the friendships in your life. Who leaves you feeling lighter? Who genuinely celebrates your wins? Who accepts you as you are, and who regularly leaves you second-guessing yourself? If someone continually judges your choices or tells you what you should be doing, have a simple response ready. You can borrow mine: "Don't worry about it." You don't have to justify every decision you make. You're allowed to protect your energy, take a step back and choose the relationships that feel loving, respectful and mutual. This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Not All Your Friends Are Good For You (And That's Okay)

  8. Sep 9

    I Did It By Myself and That's Not The Sad Part

    I heaved a mini fridge out of the car by myself, stopped an argument with one calm sentence, and got a text from my son that stopped me in my tracks. This is what it looks like when you've done enough work on yourself that the hard things stop feeling like they're happening to you and start showing up as proof of something inside you. Episode Description A couple of Sundays ago I moved my youngest, Danny, into his college dorm in Chicago. All by myself. And I want to tell you the real version of that day, not the "oh Jenny, that must have been so hard" version. The mini fridge I heaved out of the car on my own. The Swiffer request I absolutely did not see coming. The one calm sentence that stopped an argument before it even started. The text from my older son Jonah that made me stop and get a little choked up. And then the Monday after, when it all caught up with me and I let it. I'm also giving you this week's action step, something I actually used that day and the day after, when things started to feel hard. And near the end I want to ask you something I'm genuinely curious about, because it's shaping a little thing I'm building right now that I think some of you might need. What you will learn - The difference between hard things happening to you and hard things proving something in you - My go-to 5-5-7 breathing technique for calming my nervous system in the moment (inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 7) - How one calm sentence - "I'm not doing this" - set a boundary and stopped a fight before it started - The pattern interrupters I use when I catch myself spiralling: "stop it, Jen" and "this is happening" - Why I let the hard feelings bubble up instead of pushing them down or performing "I'm okay" - Choosing your hard, because life is hard either way, so it's really just a question of which hard you pick - This week's action step: finding your own phrase to interrupt the spiral before it takes hold Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more,some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    I Did It By Myself and That's Not The Sad Part
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Hey, I'm Jenny, and if you're stuck in the cycle of overthinking, shutting down, snapping at people you love, or crying at work (again), Who Do You Think You Are Talking To is for you. This is the podcast for people who want to stop reacting on autopilot and start responding with emotional intelligence, especially in tough conversations. You'll learn how to: - manage emotional triggers in real-time - calm your nervous system when you're overwhelmed - stop spiralling after conflict or silence - speak with clarity and confidence—even when it's hard - hold boundaries without over-explaining - repair relationships without losing yourself Whether you freeze, explode, or go into full people-pleasing mode when things get tense, this show will help you feel more grounded, in control, and connected, to yourself and to the people who matter. Every episode offers honest insights, practical strategies, and tools for communicating under pressure, building emotional resilience, and actually enjoying the relationships in your life. If you're ready to change how you show up in conversations, from your partner, to your boss, to your own inner critic, hit follow now so you never miss an episode. Let's take the shame out of speaking up and give you the tools to talk like the grounded, clear, powerful person you already are.

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