It's Not You, It's Anxiety!

Jessica Richards
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

It's Not You, It's Anxiety is a podcast for people who are anxious, but haven't found relief from the usual anxiety help, and feel like there must be something wrong with THEM! Overwhelmed, tired of overthinking, and exhausted, they're ready for a compassionate and straightforward way to understand and work with anxiety — especially in the current world we’re in.  Hosted by Licensed Professional Counselor and coach Jessica Richards, this mental health podcast blends psychology, compassion, and Jessica's insight as a counselor and as a person who struggled with anxiety and had to figure it out herself. It's time to make sense of your anxiety, ease constant worry and judgement, and believe in and trust yourself.  Anxiety isn’t your fault. You're not the problem. Your anxiety actually makes sense and there is a way to work with it.  Learn how to understand and work with your anxiety...with kindness, compassion, and no judgement (even in these wild times).

  1. May 21

    “Is This Really a Threat?” The Key Question You Need to Ask Anxiety

    What if the things making you anxious aren’t actually threats? Jessica explores one of the most important shifts in healing anxiety: learning to separate what is an actual threat from what simply feels threatening because your survival system has been activated. Episode Summary In this episode, Jessica brings together everything covered in the series so far — your biology, modern living, and the messages you learned — and explains how these three things work together to make everyday situations feel dangerous, urgent, or threatening… even when you aren’t truly in danger. Through relatable examples — including her own experience deciding whether to start a private practice — she explains why anxiety feels so intense, why it reacts the way it does, and how asking a simple question can begin to reduce anxiety in a powerful way. In This Episode You'll Learn:  How biology, modern living, and learned messages work together to create anxiety  Why anxiety interprets many normal life situations as threats  The difference between something being uncomfortable and something being truly dangerous  Why your survival system reacts so intensely even when you’re safe  How anxiety creates feelings that don’t accurately represent reality  A simple but powerful question that can begin to reduce anxiety  Why understanding anxiety changes the way you respond to it Key Moments From the Episode “One thing about anxiety is that it interprets all kinds of things as immediate, harmful threats to you, when they’re not.” “There are things are not usually actual threats to you. They may be things that need to be addressed… but they are not true threats to you.” “Is this really a threat? Am I really being threatened? Am I really in danger? The answer is almost always going to be no.” “Anxiety makes it feel so threatening — the feeling it creates doesn’t accurately represent what’s happening.” “That’s not your fault. That’s exactly what anxiety does.” Main Takeaway Anxiety makes many everyday situations feel dangerous, urgent, or threatening — even when you are not actually in danger. Your survival system reacts this way because of your biology, the overwhelm of modern life, and the messages you learned throughout your life. When you begin asking yourself, “Is this truly a threat?” you create space between yourself and anxiety. That space helps your nervous system stop treating ordinary life like a survival emergency. Understanding this changes everything: anxiety becomes less personal, less confusing, and more workable. Who This Episdoe is For This episode is for you if you:  Feel like your anxiety reactions are bigger than the situation  Constantly feel “on alert” or overwhelmed  Struggle to tell the difference between discomfort and danger  Overthink decisions, conversations, or mistakes  Feel emotionally exhausted from living in survival mode  Want a clearer understanding of what anxiety is actually doing Connect With Jessica Instagram: @jessica_richards_counseling My Book "Hi, It's Anxiety! I'm Your Problem, It's Me": Amazon, Barnes and Noble Enjoy This Episode? If this episode helped you understand your anxiety in a new way, please follow the show and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more people find compassionate, realistic support for anxiety. *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode  what anxiety really is  perceived threats and anxiety  survival system and anxiety  why anxiety feels so intense  fight flight freeze explained  how anxiety reacts to everyday situations  anxiety and nervous system activation  difference between danger and discomfort  understanding anxiety triggers  reducing anxiety through awareness  modern life and anxiety  anxiety and overthinking  why anxiety feels threatening  how to calm anxiety naturally  healing anxiety through understanding

    28 min

  2. Mar 12

    You Learned Messages That Taught You What to be Anxious About: How This Fuels Your Anxiety

    Why are you anxious about the specific things that make you anxious? Episode Summary In this episode, Jessica explores the third major cause of anxiety: the messages you learned throughout your life. These messages—spoken and unspoken—teach you what to worry about, what to fear, and who you believe you need to be in order to be safe, accepted, or successful. Jessica explains how these messages come from everywhere: family, school, culture, religion, media, and the experiences you observe growing up. Over time, they quietly shape the things that trigger anxiety in your life. Understanding these messages can help you see your anxiety in a completely different way. Instead of believing something is wrong with you, you begin to recognize how your experiences taught your brain what to worry about—and how those patterns can start to change. In This Episode You'll Learn: The third major cause of anxiety: the messages you learned growing upHow family, culture, school, media, and life experiences shape what you worry aboutWhy two people can feel anxious about completely different thingsHow messages about who you “should” be as a person create anxietyWhy many of the things you feel anxious about were taught, not inherentHow recognizing these messages begins to loosen anxiety’s gripMain Takeaway Many of the things that make you anxious today were learned through the messages you received throughout your life. Those messages came from family, culture, media, school, and the experiences you witnessed growing up. They taught your brain what to worry about and what it believes might threaten your safety, acceptance, or worth. When you begin to see anxiety through this lens, it becomes less about something being wrong with you—and more about understanding the influences that shaped how your mind learned to respond to the world. Who This Episode is For This episode is for you if you: Wonder why certain situations trigger anxiety for you but not for othersFeel pressure to be a certain kind of person in order to feel safe or acceptedNotice that many of your worries are connected to expectations from family, culture, or societyWant to understand where your anxiety patterns actually came fromAre ready to start looking at anxiety with curiosity instead of self-blameConnect with Jessica Get My Book: "Hi, It's Anxiety! I'm Your Problem, It's Me" Barnes and Noble   Amazon Get My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Enjoyed This Episode? If this episode helped you understand your anxiety in a new way, follow the show and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode causes of anxietylearned anxiety patternshow childhood messages shape anxietyanxiety and family expectationssocial and cultural influences on anxietywhy different people worry about different thingsunderstanding where anxiety comes fromanxiety triggers and life experiencespsychology of anxiety development

    27 min

  3. Feb 4

    Modern Life is Making You Anxious: How It's Too Much For Your Survival System

    Do you ever feel like you just can’t keep up with life? Like there’s too much information, too much stimulation, and too many demands coming at you all the time? Episode Summary In this episode, Jessica breaks down the second major contributor to anxiety: modern living. She explains why our brains and bodies are simply not designed for the pace, volume, and constant input of modern life...and how this mismatch keeps your survival system activated almost nonstop. Using clear explanations, current real-world examples, and everyday scenarios, this episode helps you understand why anxiety feels constant and overwhelming, and why that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. In This Episode You’ll Learn Why modern life itself is anxiety-inducingHow little of human history our current way of living actually representsWhy your survival system isn’t built to handle constant stimulation and informationHow anxiety turns everyday situations into perceived survival threatsWhy news, social media, work, and daily interactions feel overwhelmingThe difference between immediate survival threats and long-term survivalWhy anxiety reactions often make modern problems harder to solveKey Moments from the Episode  “Modern living makes us anxious.” “Our brains and bodies are not meant for the way we’re living.” “The survival system doesn’t sort through information — it just reacts.” “Modern life makes everything feel immediate and threatening.” “Anxiety and the survival system actually make it harder to do what we really need to do.” Main Takeaway Your anxiety isn’t a personal failing — it’s the result of a survival system doing its job in an environment it was never designed for. Modern life floods your brain with information, stimulation, and perceived threats, keeping anxiety constantly activated. Real relief begins with understanding this mismatch, so you can stop blaming yourself and start shifting toward solutions. Who This Episode Is For This episode is for you if you: Feel overwhelmed by the pace and demands of modern lifeFeel anxious even when nothing specific is “wrong”Get overstimulated, mentally exhausted, or constantly on edgeFeel activated by news, emails, social media, or daily interactionsWant an explanation that actually makes senseGet My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Get My Book: "Hi, It's Anxiety! I'm Your Problem, It's Me!"  Barnes and Noble Amazon Enjoyed This Episode? If this episode helped you feel understood or less alone, please follow the show and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more people find support that actually fits the world we’re living in. *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode Modern life and anxietyOverstimulation and anxietySurvival system explainedFight, flight, freeze in modern lifeAnxiety and the nervous systemInformation overload and mental healthNews, social media, and anxietyWhy modern living is overwhelmingLong-term vs immediate survivalUnderstanding anxiety without shame

    26 min

  4. Jan 28

    Your Normal Biology is Making You Anxious (Why It Makes You See Danger Everywhere)

    Learn how anxiety is caused by biology: How your survival system is designed to scan for threats, why it misfires, and how understanding the biology of anxiety can immediately reduce shame and self-blame.  This episode helps you understand what’s happening in your body so anxiety stops feeling mysterious, scary, or personal.  Episode Summary In this episode, Jessica breaks down the first and most foundational cause of anxiety: your biology. She explains how your survival system is designed to constantly scan for threats, anticipate danger, and react — and how that normal biological function gets misapplied to everyday situations like social interactions, decision-making, and difficult conversations. Through clear explanations and relatable real-life examples, this episode helps you understand what’s really happening in your body when anxiety takes over — and why knowing this alone can start to quiet anxiety. In This Episode You’ll Learn Why anxiety isn’t mysterious — and what’s actually happening in your brain and bodyHow your survival system creates physical, mental, and emotional anxiety symptomsWhy anxiety often shows up before anything actually happensHow understanding your biology removes shame and self-blameWhy awareness is the first step toward calming anxiety (before any tools or techniques)Key Moments from the Episode (Quotes)  “Not understanding your anxiety actually makes you anxious about having anxiety.”   “This is your biology — it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.”   “Your survival system is meant for real, in-the-moment threats… not farmers markets and difficult conversations.”   “When you can name what’s happening, it removes a layer of anxiety.”   “You’re not stuck in this when you know what’s going on.”  Who This Episode Is For This episode is for you if you: Feel confused by how intense your anxiety reactions areExperience physical symptoms like racing heart, nausea, tension, or panicGet anxious anticipating things like conversations, decisions, or social situationsHave been told to “just calm down” or “think differently” — and felt invalidatedWant to understand anxiety without shame or self-criticismMain Takeaway Your anxiety feels intense because your survival system is doing exactly what it was designed to do — scan for threat and keep you safe. The problem isn’t you; it’s that this biological system is reacting to everyday situations as if they’re dangerous. When you understand what’s happening in your body, anxiety becomes less scary, less personal, and easier to work with. Awareness isn’t the final step — but it’s the foundation that makes real change possible. Get My Book "Hi, It's Anxiety! I'm Your Problem It's Me" Amazon Barnes and Noble *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode  What anxiety really isSurvival system and anxietyFight, flight, freeze response explainedAnxiety symptoms in the bodyWhy anxiety feels overwhelmingAnticipatory anxiety and overthinkingBiology of anxietyNervous system and anxietyWhy anxiety isn’t your faultUnderstanding anxiety instead of fearing it

    27 min

  5. 12/31/2025

    Quieting Your Anxiety Can Save the World

    In this powerful bonus episode, Jessica explores something most people have never been told: Anxiety quietly shapes how people make decisions, use power, and treat one another in the world. Changing your anxiety can change the world! Episode Summary Through a moving real-life story, you’ll hear how one woman working through her anxiety didn’t just change her own life — she protected healthcare for an entire community. This episode reveals how anxiety doesn't just live in individuals — it drives systems, institutions, and culture. So when you start to change anxiety, you start to change the world! Healing your anxiety isn’t selfish… it’s one of the most meaningful ways you can make a difference. If we all quieted anxiety, the world would change. In This Episode, You’ll Learn How anxiety’s threat-scanning doesn’t stop at individuals — it shapes entire systemsWhy fear-based thinking drives decisions about money, healthcare, power, and controlWhy healing anxiety makes you clearer, stronger, and more able to advocate for what mattersHow one person calming their nervous system can create ripple effects that help many othersWhy working on your anxiety is not self-centered — it’s deeply impactful and necessary for a better worldKey Moments from the Episode “People are walking around anxious, trying to protect themselves — and that’s driving the world.” “If we weren’t in anxiety, we could actually see what would really help ourselves and others.” “It’s not just your life. It’s the ripple effect.” Main Takeaway When you understand and soften your anxiety, you don’t just feel better. You become more grounded, more courageous, and more able to stand up for yourself and others. Healing anxiety creates clarity — and clarity creates change. Your healing matters far more than you’ve been told. Who This Episode Is For This episode is for you if: You care deeply about people and the worldYou’ve felt like your anxiety keeps you small, scared, or quietYou want to feel stronger, more confident, and want to help change the worldYou’ve always sensed your anxiety is connected to something biggerYou see how anxiety plays out in the world around youConnect with Jessica Instagram: @jessica_richards_counseling Get My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Learn When a New Episode Drops: Get On Board Here Enjoyed This Episode? If this episode made you feel hopeful, seen, or empowered, please follow the show and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more people find the support they deserve. *Disclaimer*This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out  to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode How anxiety affects societyAnxiety and powerHealing anxietyEmotional regulationHow therapy changes livesAnxiety and leadershipAnxiety recoveryNervous system healingAnxiety and confidenceMental health and social change

    24 min

  6. 12/17/2025

    It's Not Just People Pleasing: There's Another Reason You Care So Much What Other People Think

    In this episode, Jessica unpacks one of the most painful and misunderstood parts of anxiety: caring deeply — and worrying — about what other people think.  Episode Summary You’ll learn why this isn’t insecurity, overreacting, vanity, or “people-pleasing gone wrong.” It’s actually one of the most common ways anxiety tries to protect you. Using real-life examples (pumpkin spice lattes, doctors’ appointments, parenting, and everyday interactions), Jessica explains why your brain sees other people as a potential threat — and why your anxiety jumps in to keep you safe, liked, and connected. This episode is deeply validating and gives you a compassionate understanding of why this anxiety feels so intense and so constant. In This Episode, You’ll Learn Why worrying what people think is not a flaw — it’s an anxiety protection responseHow being dependent on people (emotionally, socially, and practically) makes your brain see social interactions as potential threatsThe role your values, empathy, and kindness play in this patternWhy anxiety tries to “help” by making you be perfect, pleasing, or the “right” wayHow understanding this pattern immediately reduces shame and self-blameA simple reflective practice to help you see through anxiety and feel more groundedKey Moments from the Episode “Of course it's natural to want people to like you… we all need people. Physically, transactionally, and emotionally.” “Doesn’t it make perfect sense that anxiety would see people not liking you as a threat?” “Anxiety makes me care what people think of me so I can stay in good graces with them and get my needs met.” “Caring what people think is enough, all by itself, to justify anxiety.” “Your anxiety makes sense. Your anxiety around people makes sense.” Main Takeaway Caring what people think isn’t a character flaw — it’s anxiety trying to protect your safety, relationships, belonging, and values.  When you understand this, you stop blaming yourself, stop feeling confused by your reactions, and start seeing your anxiety for what it really is: a protection response that can be softened and changed with compassion. Who This Episode Is For This episode is especially for you if: You constantly worry about others’ opinionsYou try to be the “right” way, perfect, or endlessly pleasingYou replay conversations or interactionsYou’re sensitive, empathetic, and deeply caringYou’ve felt ashamed or confused about why this feels so intenseYou want a kinder, more grounded understanding of this patternConnect with Jessica Instagram: @jessica_richards_counseling Get My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Learn When a New Episode Drops: Get On Board Here Enjoyed This Episode? If this episode helped you feel seen and understood, please follow the show and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more anxious humans find support that actually makes sense. *Disclaimer*This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode  Why you care what people thinkAnxiety and people-pleasingSocial anxiety Overthinking social situationsHow empathy affects anxietyWhy anxiety feels so intense around peopleAnxiety and perfectionism

    29 min

  7. 12/10/2025

    Feeling Guilty All the Time? This is the Surprising Reason Why

    If you live with anxiety, chances are you feel guilty all the time. Guilty for disappointing people. Guilty for saying no. Guilty for wanting something different. Guilty for existing.  Episode Summary In this episode, Jessica breaks down the truth about guilt — and it’s not what you think. You’ll learn how guilt is another way anxiety tries to protect you, why it shows up in situations where you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, and how to start seeing guilt for what it really is: a safety strategy, not a moral failing. Jessica shares real-life examples (holiday plans, food waste, posting a selfie, and even existential guilt) to help you understand how anxiety uses guilt to push you toward the “safe,” “right,” or “expected” thing — even when that thing hurts you. When you understand what guilt is actually doing, everything changes. In This Episode, You'll Learn Why anxious people feel guilty all the timeHow guilt functions as a protection strategy, not a moral failingHow anxiety scans your life for threats and misinterprets normal choices as dangerousWhy guilt feels like absolute proof that you're doing something wrongThe difference between real guilt and anxiety-driven guiltWhat existential guilt is — and why it’s so common for anxious peopleHow guilt tries to push you toward “safe,” expected, socially approved choicesKey Quotes  “I haven't met a person with anxiety who doesn't experience guilt pretty much all the time.” “Anxiety uses guilt to make you feel bad so that you'll supposedly be the way you need to be to stay safe.” “Anxiety is a threat detector. It is not a good-outcome detector.” “Sometimes the guilt gets so deep it feels like guilt for existing.” “Guilt is one of the things that can really get us stuck because it’s so convincing.” “Guilt is a way that anxiety is showing up to protect you. It's not you — it's anxiety.” Main Takeaway Overthinking isn’t a character flaw or bad habit — it’s anxiety reacting to a perceived threat in an attempt to keep you safe. Understanding why it happens immediately reduces shame, increases clarity, and gives you the power to begin shifting out of spiraling into calmer, clearer thinking. Who This Episode Is For This episode is for anyone who: Feels guilty constantly, even when nothing bad happenedOverthinks decisions because they fear disappointing othersExperiences deep or existential guiltStruggles to trust themselvesWants a grounded, compassionate explanation for their guiltWants to stop guilt from controlling their choices and self-worthConnect with Jessica Instagram: @jessica_richards_counseling Get My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Get My Weekly Emails: Get On Board Here Enjoyed This Episode? If this episode helped you see guilt differently, please share the show, leave a rating, or reach out. Everyone deserves clarity and compassion. *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode  why guilt feels so intenseanxiety and guilt connectionwhy anxious people feel guiltyguilt as a safety responseunderstanding chronic guiltanxious guilt vs true guilt

    21 min

  8. 12/03/2025

    ...Overthinking Explained: You Won't Believe This

    If you struggle with overthinking, obsessing, or spiraling, this episode will help you understand why it happens — and why it’s not your fault.  Episode Summary Jessica explains that overthinking isn’t a random symptom of anxiety; it’s one of the primary ways anxiety tries to protect you from something it believes could go wrong. Using relatable examples — replaying conversations, stressing over work, worrying about climate change, and even baking muffins for a neighbor — Jessica shows how anxiety mistakes discomfort, uncertainty, or possible mistakes as “threats.” From there, it launches into overthinking as its attempt to prepare you, keep you safe, or prevent you from being surprised. By the end of this episode, you’ll begin to see your overthinking differently: not as a personal flaw, but as a misguided safety response. And you’ll learn a powerful practice for gently stepping outside of the spiral and getting clarity. In This Episode, You’ll Learn Why overthinking is one of anxiety’s primary “protection strategies”How overthinking turns into obsessing and full-body spiralingWhy anxiety sees even small things as potential “threats”How your brain tries to prevent mistakes, discomfort, or surprisesWhy overthinking feels automatic or uncontrollableA simple practice to create space between you and your anxious thoughtsHow understanding anxiety’s motives helps you calm it more quicklyHow this practice sets you up for deeper healing in future episodeKey Moments From the Episode “Overthinking, obsessing, and spiraling are ways anxiety tries to protect you.” “Even when part of you knows the overthinking isn’t helping, another part feels like it’s necessary.” “Anxiety sees threats everywhere — even in things like baking muffins for a neighbor.” “Overthinking protects you from making a mistake, missing something, or being surprised.” “Just naming what’s happening gives you distance from it.” “This sets you up to eventually shift from anxiety-driven reactions to calm, grounded thinking.” Who This Episode Is For This episode is perfect for anyone who:Gets stuck in overthinking or ruminationSpirals quickly into worst-case scenariosFeels overwhelmed by obsessive or looping thoughtsWants to understand why their brain reacts this wayFeels frustrated, ashamed, or confused about their anxietyCraves a kinder explanation for patterns they can’t seem to controlIf you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I like this?” — this episode offers clarity and compassion. Connect with Jessica Instagram: @jessica_richards_counseling Get My Free Guide: 3 Keys for Quieting Anxiety Now Get My Weekly Emails: Get On Board Here *Disclaimer* This show is for information and inspiration. It is not professional mental health counseling or medical advice. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health or medical professional. Topics Covered in This Episode  why we overthinkanxiety and overthinkinganxiety spiralingobsessive thoughts and anxietythreat response and anxietywhy anxiety sees danger everywherenervous system and overthinkingrumination vs. protectionhow to stop spiralingcompassionate anxiety toolsunderstanding anxious thoughtshow to reduce overthinkingtrauma-informed anxiety education

    30 min
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5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

It's Not You, It's Anxiety is a podcast for people who are anxious, but haven't found relief from the usual anxiety help, and feel like there must be something wrong with THEM! Overwhelmed, tired of overthinking, and exhausted, they're ready for a compassionate and straightforward way to understand and work with anxiety — especially in the current world we’re in.  Hosted by Licensed Professional Counselor and coach Jessica Richards, this mental health podcast blends psychology, compassion, and Jessica's insight as a counselor and as a person who struggled with anxiety and had to figure it out herself. It's time to make sense of your anxiety, ease constant worry and judgement, and believe in and trust yourself.  Anxiety isn’t your fault. You're not the problem. Your anxiety actually makes sense and there is a way to work with it.  Learn how to understand and work with your anxiety...with kindness, compassion, and no judgement (even in these wild times).

Information

  • Creator
    Jessica Richards
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 It's Not You, It's Anxiety!
  • Show Website
    It's Not You, It's Anxiety!