If This Is It

Tosin Assan
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

If This Is It is a podcast about faith, identity, and becoming who God created you to be. Hosted by Tosin Asan, the show explores modern-day challenges through Scripture—helping believers move from functioning on empty to living fruitfully. Honest conversations, biblical clarity, and practical steps for real transformation.

  1. 3d ago

    Tend Your Garden: Single And Preparing For A Fruitful Marriage

    You've prayed. You've fasted. You've downloaded the apps, gone to every singles event, and let people introduce you to people. And when nothing happened, you tried harder. Eventually you land where almost everyone lands: I've tried everything. But what if you've been preparing for the wrong thing? In this solo episode, Tosin unpacks a distinction almost nobody teaches: learning how to get into a relationship is not the same as learning how to participate well in one. You've been preparing for marriage your whole life, your family, your church, and your culture have all been forming you. The question is what they formed you for. She introduces a model she calls Tend Your Garden. Your life is already a garden, and something is already growing in it. Start with the soil, the beliefs you absorbed before you could question them. Notice how you tend the seeds you already have. Remember that marriage is a seed cultivated in two gardens, not one, and that you can't tend someone else's for them. And one thing she says plainly: tending your garden isn't a transaction with God. It doesn't guarantee marriage. It makes you capable of participating well in one, and of living the life you already have. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Finding Someone vs. Being Formed for Marriage 00:55 – Why "I've Tried Everything" Isn't the Whole Story 03:00 – Something Can Be Functional Without Being Fruitful 05:14 – "But Who Counted Them?" Marriage Myths & Blame 09:32 – What Failing My Driving Test Taught Me About Preparation 12:23 – You've Been Preparing for Marriage Your Whole Life 15:21 – Being Good vs. Being Formed for a Fruitful Marriage 17:32 – The Tend Your Garden Model: Start With the Soil 21:41 – Marriage Is a Seed Cultivated in Two Gardens 24:08 – You Marry at Your Formation Level (Why Teachability Wins) 26:06 – Tending Your Garden Isn't a Transaction With God 28:18 – Your Unmarried Season Isn't an Empty Waiting Room 💬 What is one belief about marriage you absorbed growing up that you've never actually examined? Name it in the comments. 📱 CONNECT Instagram: @ifthisisitpod TikTok: ifthisisitpod Email: hello@ifthisisitpod.com If This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, this week, on what it actually takes to be formed for a fruitful marriage, not just to find someone. Hosted by Tosin Assan, each episode brings biblical clarity to the questions believers are actually wrestling with. #IfThisIsIt #Marriage #ChristianSingles #FunctionalToFruitful #FaithAndRelationships

  2. Sep 28

    Why Good Advice Doesn't Produce The Outcomes We Expect

    You took the advice. It came from people you trust, it sounded right, and you actually did it and nothing changed. Now someone is hinting that maybe you're the problem. But what if the issue isn't the information at all, but what happens between hearing it and living it?In this solo episode, Tosin looks at why good advice so often fails to produce good outcomes. Most advice arrives as someone's conclusion without the conditions that made it true and it lands in the middle of your story, already shaped by your family, culture, church, wins, and disappointments.Through Moses and the Israelites, who saw the same miracles through completely different lenses, and Joshua, who didn't need Moses' story to carry what Moses learned about God, she offers a better way to receive information: not blindly accepting it, not reflexively rejecting it, but bringing it before Christ and finding the principle underneath. CHAPTERS 00:00 – Why Good Advice Isn't Producing Results02:04 – You Followed The Advice. Are You The Problem?05:15 – What If You Don't Need More Information?08:01 – Great Advice You Don't Know How To Apply11:39 – Advice Arrives In The Middle Of Your Story14:30 – Same Words, Different Lives17:54 – When You Want Relief More Than Truth19:48 – Moses vs. Israel: Same Miracles, Different Lenses24:45 – Why Jesus Didn't Just Give Us Another List30:23 – Don't Copy It, Find The Principle Underneath33:01 – How Am I Hearing This? You're Not Neutral33:56 – Joshua Didn't Need Moses' Story💬 What's one piece of advice you tried to apply exactly as it was given and what was the principle underneath it that you actually needed? Share it in the comments.📱 CONNECTInstagram: @ifthisisitpodTikTok: ifthisisitpodEmail: hello@ifthisisitpod.comIf This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, this week, on why good advice doesn't always land, and how to find the truth underneath it so it can actually produce something in your life. Hosted by Tosin Assan, each episode brings biblical clarity to the questions believers are actually wrestling with.#ifthisisit #information #goodadvice #christianpodcast #christianliving

  3. Sep 21

    Your Therapist Can’t Heal You, Here’s What Actually Can

    You can know your triggers, name your patterns, and have every word for what you’re feeling and still be stuck in the same place a year later. Sometimes the problem isn’t a lack of insight, or a lack of prayer. Sometimes awareness was never the same thing as change.Tosin sits down with Dr. Donnata Ibe, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Ruach Christian Counseling, who left her first therapy session with nothing to hold on to and built what was missing. Together they unpack what therapy can and can’t do why it’s a real tool for finally understanding yourself, why understanding was never the same thing as being changed, and how self-awareness can become self-protection.From there she and Tosin work through how faith and therapy actually fit together instead of competing: where the practical tools do their job, and why real healing so often feels worse before it feels better. If you’ve ever wondered whether tools and language alone are enough to heal you, this is the conversation.Chapters 00:00 – The Depression Sign Everyone Calls "Just Tired"01:16 – The Therapist Who Walked Out of Her Own Therapy03:03 – Doing the Work But Still Stuck04:31 – Can Faith and Therapy Actually Work Together?10:56 – Why Awareness Alone Never Changes You13:42 – The Familiar Discomfort We Refuse to Leave23:07 – Faith as Avoidance & "Father's House" Prayers35:17 – When Self-Awareness Becomes Armor42:33 – Can You Really Heal Without Christ?44:18 – Stuck on Monday: Prayer, Thought, Action54:41 – Cultivate, Keep, Resist: Making Change Stick60:52 – Years in Therapy and Only Maintaining68:24 – Her Practice & the Therapy Journals💬 What’s one thing therapy has helped you understand about yourself but that you still haven’t managed to change? Be honest in the comments.📱 CONNECTInstagram: @ifthisisitpod · TikTok: ifthisisitpod · Email: hello@ifthisisitpod.comGUEST — Dr. Donnata Ibe, LCSW (Houston); doctorate in social work; founder of Ruach Christian Counseling.Instagram: @don_atta_Counselling: @ruachcc_If This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, this week, on the gap between understanding yourself and actually being changed. Hosted by Tosin Assan.#ifthisisit #therapy #christianmentalhealth #faithandtherapy #depression #healing

  4. Sep 7

    The Uncertainty Trap: How To Stop Overthinking

    I didn't figure this out in a study, I figured it out in a car, arguing with myself the whole drive home. I went to someone I respect looking for wisdom, and what I actually wanted was proof that the last few years of my life haven't been a waste. I'd been calling it "trust." It was really a search for certainty.In this Season 2 return of If This Is It, Tosin Assan breaks down the quiet trap so many of us live in: treating certainty as the requirement before we obey what God already made clear. We walk through Gideon in the winepress, four confirmations for one assignment, and an ephod that became a snare right after his biggest win, then Jesus in Gethsemane, who had total certainty about the cross and still didn't lean on it. The difference? Certainty depends on information. Trust depends on relationship.If you're an overthinker who confuses mental motion for progress, or you've been waiting on one more sign before you send the application, have the conversation, or start the thing, this one's for you.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS0:00 – "Certainty Can Move Your Feet, Never Your Heart"1:43 – Welcome Back: Confusing Wisdom for Certainty2:26 – The Couch Conversation That Started It3:26 – When "Trusting God" Really Means "Prove It"4:43 – Overthinking Is Just Delay in a Nicer Outfit6:44 – Does God Actually Give Certainty?7:53 – Gideon in the Winepress: When 2+2 Won't Add Up9:56 – Four Confirmations for One Assignment13:50 – The Ephod: When Proof Becomes a Snare19:47 – Jesus Had Certainty and Still Didn't Lean On It22:17 – Certainty Runs on Information, Trust Runs on Relationship26:03 – Borrowed Worth Only Refinances the Debt28:54 – The Test: Is It a Goal or a Modern Ephod?29:29 – Cultivate, Keep, Resist — and the Final Word💬 Be honest, what have you been calling "waiting on God" that's really just waiting for proof? Drop it in the comments; I read every one.📱 Connect with the podcast:Instagram: @ifthisisitpodTiktok: ifthisisitpodEmail: hello@ifthisisitpod.comIf This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, exploring faith, relationships, personal growth, and purpose through honest, unfiltered conversations. Hosted by Tosin, each episode dives into the real questions believers are wrestling with as they navigate modern life. Whether it's marriage, fatherhood, identity, or cultivating your inner life, this show brings biblical truth to everyday realities.#ifthisisit #christianpodcast #faithandtrust #overthinking #obedience #purposedriven

  5. Jul 2

    Why Your Hard Work Isn't Producing Financial Peace w/ Kunle Olatunji

    You can be hardworking, responsible, and deeply committed to doing the right thing and still feel like money keeps slipping through your hands. If that tension feels familiar, this conversation will meet you there. Because sometimes the issue isn’t laziness, lack of discipline, or even a lack of desire. Sometimes the deeper problem is that we were never taught how to bring order to what we already have. Tosin sits down with Kunle Olatunji, author of Money Ordered, to explore the deeper roots of financial instability, generosity, boundaries, and stewardship. This conversation helps listeners move from money chaos toward clarity, structure, and peace. Be sure to use this link for his book https://themoneyordered.com/product/money-ordered-the-10-step-system-to-turn-financial-chaos-into-lasting-stability/ #IfThisIsIt #ChristianPodcast #FunctionalToFruitful #FinancialStewardship #MoneyOrdered #BiblicalFinance #Boundaries

  6. Jun 16

    Why Does Love Feel Hard?

    If love has felt harder than it should, this conversation is for you. You can pray, be intentional, follow the “right” advice, and still find yourself feeling frustrated, tired, and stuck. At some point, you have to ask a deeper question: what if the issue isn’t that love is impossible, but that the system we’ve been taught to use is broken? In this episode of If This Is It, Tosin unpacks why so many people are trying to build connection from a place of self-protection instead of wholeness in Christ. She explores the transactional mindset that quietly shapes the way many of us think about dating, marriage, and partnership, and she offers a better framework — one rooted in faith, hope, love, peace, and real capacity. This is a conversation about more than relationships. It’s about who you are becoming while you wait, what it means to stop bracing for impact, and how to build a life that is actually ready to receive the kind of love you say you want. In this episode, we talk about: - why self-protection can become a barrier to real connection - the danger of turning people into transactions - how to move from bracing for impact to building from peace - the order of faith, hope, and love in emotional and spiritual maturity - why your capacity to receive love matters just as much as your ability to give it ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 – Why Does Love Feel So Hard? 1:03 – The False Comfort of Relationship Rules 1:42 – Can You Pray Away the Desire for Marriage? 2:41 – When the “Right” Things Lead to No Results 4:49 – Love vs. Self-Protection 5:40 – We Were Never Taught How to Partner 7:37 – What Love Is Actually Supposed to Look Like 9:30 – Why We Turn People into Transactions 10:32 – The Danger of Conditional Blueprints 12:10 – Receiving Capacity Matters 12:44 – Fruitfulness is a State of Being 14:48 – The Problem with Marrying Out of Alignment 15:23 – The Order: Faith, Hope, Love 16:16 – Avoiding the Transactional Faith Trap 17:16 – Why You Need Hope in the Middle Space 18:09 – Discernment vs. Shutting Down 19:16 – The Law of Capacity 20:30 – The “What Do You Bring to the Table” Myth 21:21 – Rooted in Christ, Not the Outcome 25:31 – Closing Encouragement 💬 When you think about your approach to relationships, are you living from trust, or are you still bracing for impact? Be honest in the comments. 📱 Connect with the podcast: Instagram: @ifthisisitpod Tiktok: ifthisisitpod Email: hello@ifthisisitpod.com If This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful — exploring faith, relationships, personal growth, and purpose through honest, unfiltered conversations. Hosted by Tosin, each episode dives into the real questions believers are wrestling with as they navigate modern life. Whether it's marriage, fatherhood, identity, or cultivating your inner life, this show brings biblical truth to everyday realities. #IfThisIsIt #ChristianPodcast #FunctionalToFruitful #DatingWithPurpose #FaithAndRelationships #IdentityInChrist #HealthyBoundaries

  7. May 25

    Waiting Seasons

    You've been praying. You've been showing up. You've been doing everything the way you know how to and nothing is moving. So you reach for an explanation: maybe something's blocking it, maybe you need to try harder, maybe God isn't listening. But underneath all of those is a question almost nobody asks: are you ready for what you're asking for? In this solo episode, Tosin opens up the framework she calls "the Economy of Trust" why access and readiness aren't the same thing, and why what you call "delay" is often a mismatch between who you've been formed to be and what you're believing for. Using the story of Bezalel and Aholiab (Exodus 31 & 36), she pulls out five principles that lead to one final gut-check: *if you got it today, would it hold?* If you're tired of being told to just pray more and wait, press play. TIMESTAMPS: [TBD] - The Question Nobody Asks: Are You Ready For What You're Asking For? [TBD] - It's Not Delay — It's a Systemic Mismatch [TBD] - Introducing The Economy of Trust [TBD] - The Story of Bezalel & Aholiab (Exodus 31 & 36) [TBD] - Principle 1: God Builds a System (And You Have to Function In It) [TBD] - Principle 2: More Will Test You (And Reveal What's In You) [TBD] - Principle 3: Helper Is Not Lesser [TBD] - Principle 4: Identity Stabilizes You [TBD] - Principle 5: Faithfulness Is What Builds Trust [TBD] - Cultivate, Keep, Resist — And "Would It Hold?" 💬 What is one thing you currently have in your hands, a relationship, a season, a small responsibility that you know you could be stewarding better? Share it in the comments. 📱 Connect with the podcast: Instagram: @ifthisisitpod TikTok: ifthisisitpod Email: hello@ifthisisitpod.com If This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, exploring faith, relationships, personal growth, and purpose through honest, unfiltered conversations. Hosted by Tosin, each episode dives into the real questions believers are wrestling with as they navigate modern life. #IfThisIsIt #ChristianPodcast #WaitingSeason #TheEconomyOfTrust #FunctionalToFruitful #FaithAndPatience #ChristianLiving #Formation #Stewardship #ChristianGrowth #BezalelAndAholiab #FaithfulnessOverHustle #SingleChristians #ChristianSingles #PrayerLife #SpiritualMaturity #FaithJourney #ChristianWomen #BiblicalTeaching #SoloEpisode

  8. Apr 24

    Excellence Or Hustle /w Sanmi

    You think your job is just a means to a paycheck, but what if it’s the primary place where God is refining your character? If you've been working hard but feeling like you're still missing the mark, you might be confusing activity with alignment. In this episode of If This Is It, Tosin sits down with Sanmi, a leader in the medtech space, to break down what it actually looks like to move from functional to fruitful in a secular environment. They discuss the critical difference between the world’s definition of 'hustle' and the biblical standard of excellence found in the book of Daniel. Tosin and Sanmi explore how to navigate career setbacks, the power of integrity when the stakes are high, and why your home life and your workplace are both fields that require intentional cultivation. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 – From Functional to Fruitful 0:30 – Meet Sanmi: Leadership in Medtech 2:06 – Roots: Growing Up, Finding Direction 5:31 – Why Healthcare? 8:38 – God's Helpers in Your Life 12:50 – Where Faith Meets the 9-to-5 16:24 – Creating Your Own Culture 18:04 – Excellence vs. Just Hustling 23:01 – Building the Muscle of Excellence 27:51 – The I-Can't-Fail Mindset 32:38 – When Compromise Costs Big 35:14 – Walking Away from Respectable Sin 39:55 – Partner with Like-Minded Believers 43:17 – The Resentment of Failure 49:53 – Why Leaders Fail to Invest in People 54:30 – Defining Fruitfulness for You 59:48 – The 'Why' Behind the Work 1:03:05 – Integrity & Managing Time 1:07:08 – Overwhelmed? Prioritize the Essentials 1:12:14 – Resisting the World's Distractions 💬 What is one 'seed' of excellence you are choosing to cultivate in your workplace this week, even when no one else is watching? 📱 Connect with the podcast: Instagram: @ifthisisitpod Tiktok: ifthisisitpod Email: hello@ifthisisitpod.com If This Is It is a podcast about going from functional to fruitful, exploring faith, relationships, personal growth, and purpose through honest, unfiltered conversations. Hosted by Tosin, each episode dives into the real questions believers are wrestling with as they navigate modern life.

See All (20)

About

If This Is It is a podcast about faith, identity, and becoming who God created you to be. Hosted by Tosin Asan, the show explores modern-day challenges through Scripture—helping believers move from functioning on empty to living fruitfully. Honest conversations, biblical clarity, and practical steps for real transformation.

Information

  • Creator
    Tosin Assan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Tosin Assan
  • Show Website
    If This Is It