I got humbled recently. Someone had to remind me of my own advice, and it’s literally the thing that I say all the time, which is: it ain’t all about you. It was hilarious because I am the queen of “it ain’t all about you.” But here’s the thing — I’m human, and unopened emails, no-shows, and low engagement can all feel personal and make you feel discouraged when you are in the thick of it. I’m going to talk about how and why marketing messes with our heads, why the advice that we are consuming might not even be built for us, and what I am doing differently this year. So let’s get into it. I was in this place in my business where I was feeling discouraged and frustrated because I kept putting things out there and wasn’t getting the traction that I wanted. I didn’t understand why. My friend very thoughtfully and kindly said, “Have you tried reaching out one-to-one to remind them and make those connections?” It was really funny because I thought, “Oh shit, yeah, you’re right. I haven’t done that.” And if I think back to my own experiences, when someone local has reached out to me and said, “Hey, LeeAnn, I have this thing going on — I’d love to see you there,” even though I know they are connecting one-to-one with a lot of other people, it has been a very successful tactic in getting me to show up. Because, one, I respect that person; two, I care about them and want to support them; and three, they’ve taken the time to remind me and connect with me, which makes me feel like a person and not just an invisible participant consuming information. When my friend said this to me, it was very humbling, because — as I mentioned — I tell my clients this all the time. We have to work harder. We have to sit in the seat of the consumer and behave how we would want to be treated as the consumer. In that moment, I realized I wasn’t doing that and had actually gotten a little lazy. Now, I want to be kind to myself and say that I have a lot going on, just like you have a lot going on. When I created this vision for the thing I’m working on, I wanted it to be easier because I didn’t want it to be another item on my to-do list that left me feeling exhausted. In my friend’s response and reflection, I realized there were two ways I could move forward: either A, step up my game, make more connections, and try harder, or B, let go of the expectations and just let it be what it was. In that reflection, thinking about why I wasn’t showing up as much as I could be, I realized that part of it was that I was in the phase of just doing it. And sometimes when you’re in that phase, you aren’t really thinking about all the strategies for how to grow it and best execute on it. For me, as someone who has learned that I need to dive in — because if I don’t, the perfectionist comes out and she will sabotage me — I just have to show up. That’s where I see the most success and growth for myself, because I can prove to myself that I can do this. In that, I realized we’re just in this doing phase, and I need to be okay with not seeing the growth and traction I hoped for, while also recognizing that I’ve done this long enough that I can start taking on more work. This piece of the building is more comfortable and familiar to me now, so it’s easier to do. I can take on more work that is going to continue to grow this project. But let’s talk about why so many of us get stuck and why it still feels personal. It feels personal because we have put time and energy into building it. We feel that it is special. And in some cases, there is this low-level expectation of, “You know me. You know what I’m doing. Why aren’t you engaging?” When that happens — when your email flops, when the no-shows happen, when you get ghosted — it can feel very personal because we’re giving it the good old college try. But when we really take a step back and look at it, are we really giving it the good old try? A couple of questions you could start with: Are you consistent? Posting? Sending newsletters? Networking? Are you consistent with reaching out? Are you staying curious and experimenting with different forms of marketing, but committing to those experiments long enough to actually see results? Or, like a lot of us — myself included — are you hoping that effort equals automatic results? Yeah, I know. That stings a little, because our ego wants to say, “I’ve put in all that effort, so I should automatically see results.” What I’m talking about here is loving accountability — not shame, not shoulda-coulda-woulda, not feeling bad and stopping. But as humans, we are attracted to comfort and control, and running a business is in so many ways out of our control. Here’s the trap I find myself falling into, on and off: I get sucked into the online world, listening to major educational coaches who have been in the game for a really long time — Jenna Kutcher, Marie Forleo, Amy Porterfield — and I’m taking advice from online businesses that have large audiences, years of social proof, and established authority. Then I’m applying it to my business, which has a very small, locally based audience, and asking myself, “Why isn’t this working?” I’m taking advice from coaches and business owners who are selling digital products or masterminds whose business model is based on volume. When I say volume, I mean their audiences are large. They have large email lists. I’m applying their strategies to my little itty-bitty list. Not kidding — I’m currently part of an online business group, because even though I’m aware of the pitfalls, I know there’s still a lot I can learn. Someone in that group said her email list is small. Her “small” email list is 20,000 people. I hope that puts things into perspective, because I don’t think people are talking about this enough. There’s just not enough honesty about it. I am by no means saying it’s not possible for you — or for me — to achieve that. But it’s a different game that you need to be playing. For those of us who are locally based, we’re not playing that game. We are not in that field. To apply those strategies and expect the same outcome, even when data says we should be seeing results, it doesn’t feel as successful or as monumental to us. What I find is that a lot of online business coaches are not being fully transparent about the size of the audience you need in order to reach the revenue goals they’re promising you. So photographers, service-based businesses, and consultants focused on one geographic area — or heavily location-based — are trying to apply high-volume strategies and then wondering why they’re not seeing the same results or the same impact. Local businesses are different in how we need to market, connect, and build. To contrast those differences: online businesses have a large audience, whether built organically through content marketing or through paid traffic. They are scaling through automation, with far less one-to-one direct contact. They have systems in place that automate their process to meet client expectations. They have volume-based visibility — a lot of eyeballs on them — which creates the potential for more conversions. Whereas location-based businesses are working with a smaller, finite pool of people. We are growing through relationships — whether someone finds you cold through SEO and then continues working with you over the years, or connects with you through one-to-one meetings and word-of-mouth referrals. We are building relationships, and our visibility is trust-based. We need to understand that we are playing a different game, but using someone else’s rulebook. I want to caveat this by saying that yes, some of these strategies absolutely have a place in our businesses. But the trap we fall into is thinking those strategies are the only way of doing business, getting locked in, and wondering why we’re not seeing the growth and success we want. So this year, some of the things I’m testing and experimenting with: all the time I would spend creating content specifically for Instagram — which can take quite a bit of time and has a shelf life of maybe 24 hours — I’m diverting to other avenues where I think I’ll see more ROI for my time. Here are some of the things I’m working on. First, personal emails. I’m just getting better at sending emails to past clients and connecting with new people. DMing people, which can potentially turn into real conversations. Commenting thoughtfully on posts on Instagram. Instead of spending so much time creating content, I’m intentionally going in and asking myself, “How can I engage with people who are already engaging with me? How can I engage with other businesses I’m genuinely excited about?” That way, I’m building relationships instead of spending time on content that feels like a hamster wheel. It feels way better because I feel like I’m actually giving something. I’m still posting and creating content — I’m just being more strategic about how much time I spend there and where I can get the most life out of what I’m creating. I’m also focusing on coffee dates. If someone comes to me wanting to “pick my brain,” that’s not the kind of coffee date I’m looking for. The coffee dates I want are ones where I’m having genuine connection conversations — learning about the other person, seeing if we vibe, seeing if we can become friends in some way, and exploring how we can build community to support one another. I’m focusing on referrals — talking to past clients and asking them to share my name if they know someone who could benefit. But I’m also referring people more, because reciprocity, my friends. When we become a referral source, other people will refer us. I believe that wholeheartedly. If we’re only ever asking people to do it for us but not doing it for
