He Said, Son Said

Matt Haverkamp
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Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation. He Said, Son Said is a father-and-son podcast where sports become the starting point for conversations that matter most. Every week, Matt and Nash explore the biggest stories in sports, reflect on life through the lens of fatherhood, and sit down with athletes, coaches, parents, and families whose journeys reveal far more than what happens on the field, court, or course. Together, they uncover the moments that shape us—the victories and setbacks, the relationships, the sacrifices, and the lessons that stay with us long after the final whistle. Because the greatest stories in sports aren't really about sports. They're about resilience. Leadership. Family. Purpose. And the people who help us become who we're meant to be.

  1. 6d ago

    Episode 29: The Back Nine with Fraser “Fray” Van Asch | Fatherhood, Golf & Finding Contentment

    What does success look like when you've already built a career, raised a family, and accomplished many of the things you set out to do? For Fraser “Fray” Van Asch, the answer looks a little different today than it did 27 years ago. Fray spent 34 years helping shape the media industry, including being part of the early digital revolution at Raleigh's News & Observer and Nando Media. Long before websites, digital advertising, and online communities became part of everyday life, he was among the people figuring out how it all worked. It's also where Matt first met Fray in 1999, beginning a friendship that continues today. But outside the world of media and technology, Fray was building something equally meaningful. An accomplished competitive golfer himself, Fray watched his son Alan develop a love for the game at an early age. What began with a young boy practicing putts into indentations in the family carpet eventually became an extraordinary journey through junior golf, high school competition, and an All-American collegiate career at the University of Lynchburg. Along the way, Fray experienced something many parents dream of: watching his son surpass him at something he helped introduce. When Fray retired from the media business in 2017, he gained something invaluable — the opportunity to be present for Alan's tournaments, practices, victories, and disappointments. Today, Fray continues sharing his love of golf as the boys' and girls' golf coach at Leesville Road High School in Raleigh. He's also found time for another passion, working Carolina Hurricanes home games. In this episode of He Said, Son Said, Matt reconnects with his longtime friend for a conversation about the early days of the internet, the challenges and rewards of fatherhood, raising a competitive athlete, knowing when to step aside, and finding purpose in life's next chapter. And when Matt asks Fray to describe himself in a single word, the contrast says a lot: 1999: Hungry. 2026: Content. Because sometimes the greatest accomplishments in life have very little to do with the trophies we collect. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation.

  2. Oct 20

    On Their Turf: Finding His Voice — In the Booth with Nathan Kretchmer

    For Episode 28, Matt and Nash go On Their Turf at Millbrook High School to spend a Friday night with senior sports broadcaster Nathan Kretchmer — not just talking about broadcasting, but seeing the place where Nathan has been learning how to do it. They walk the field, climb the stairs to the booth, see the view Nathan sees on game nights, and hear what goes into being ready when the mic goes live. Nathan talks about the preparation behind every broadcast, the spotting sheets, the research, the nerves, and why he has learned to turn that nervous energy into excitement. But the conversation quickly becomes about more than play-by-play. Nathan shares how he started, the broadcasters he has learned from, and the point where he realized he could borrow from the people he admired without trying to sound like them. In his words, “I only got me.” From there, the conversation turns to initiative — reaching out, asking questions, sending the email, creating opportunities instead of waiting for them to appear. Nathan talks about the people he has connected with, the doors that have opened because he was willing to put himself out there, and the bigger goals he is already working toward. That idea hits close to home for Matt and Nash, too. They talk about how their own podcast has grown through conversations, introductions, and simply being willing to ask. And when Nash says, “you gotta shoot your shot,” the conversation takes another turn as he opens up about his own interest in sports analytics. Nathan has big dreams — major networks, major events, major stages — but one of the most telling moments comes at the very end. He is not trying to skip ahead. He is still focused on making tonight as great as he can. This is a conversation about preparation, confidence, ambition, initiative, and what it looks like to start finding your own voice before the rest of the world knows your name.

  3. Oct 13

    Episode 27 - The Little Things Are the Big Things | Larry Long Jr. & Trey on Fatherhood & Legacy

    What happens when you put two fathers, two sons, and one larger-than-life personality in the same room? You get laughter, a little chaos, unexpected stories, and a conversation about love that stays with you long after it's over. In Episode 27 of He Said, Son Said, Matt and Nash sit down with Larry Long Jr. and his son, Trey, for a conversation about sports, fatherhood, family, and the lessons we carry from one generation to the next. Larry is a motivational speaker, sales and leadership coach, author of JOLT!, and former Division I baseball player at the University of Maryland. He's built a career inspiring others to believe in themselves, embrace opportunities, and bring energy and purpose to everything they do. But behind the larger-than-life personality is a son who still carries the lessons of his own father. Larry shares stories about growing up, taking 100 swings a day in the basement, and a phone call from his dad that helped him through a difficult stretch of his college baseball career. His father passed away in 2015, but his influence remains a powerful part of who Larry is today. And then there's Trey. A young soccer player finding his own path, Trey brings a perspective that's equal parts honest, thoughtful, and funny. He talks about the challenges of competing, learning from mistakes, navigating expectations, and figuring out who he wants to become. He's also not afraid to give his dad a hard time. But when the conversation turns to what he admires most about Larry, and what he'd want to carry into fatherhood someday, Trey's answer becomes one of the most memorable moments of the episode. Along the way, there are pranks, a memorable red card, plenty of father-son banter, and moments of vulnerability that remind us why these conversations matter. For Matt and Nash, this wasn't just another interview. It was an opportunity to witness a father and son who genuinely enjoy being together, while reflecting on their own relationship and the memories they're creating. At its heart, this episode is about more than sports or success. It's about the encouragement we give, the example we set, the love we show, and the lessons our children carry long after the moment has passed. Because as Larry reminds us, the little things really are the big things. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation. Listen and learn more at hesaidsonsaid.com.

  4. Oct 6

    Episode 26 - The Parent Behind the Player | Kathryn Youngs

    For every kid running onto a field or court, there’s usually a parent somewhere behind them — driving, scheduling, paying, cheering, worrying, and trying to figure out whether they’re doing any of it right. In this On Their Turf episode, Matt sits down at the Hayes Barton Baptist Church gym with longtime friend and fellow sports parent Kathryn Youngs. Kathryn’s son Austin started with soccer, found basketball, added football, and eventually turned the Youngs family calendar into something Kathryn jokingly describes as “outright psychotic.” There are early-morning practices, late nights, AAU tournaments, flights, hotels, recruiting conversations and spring breaks spent in basketball gyms instead of on beaches. But this conversation goes well beyond the logistics of youth sports. Matt and Kathryn talk candidly about how hard it can be to be a sports parent — taking a loss harder than your kid does, embarrassing yourself on the sidelines, trying not to live vicariously through them, keeping school and character in perspective, and learning when your job is simply to support something your child loves. Kathryn shares one of the rules she’s tried to instill in Austin: you fist bump the other player even when you don’t feel like it. Whether someone is better than you, less experienced than you, or just beat you, respect still matters. They also get into the changing world Austin is entering now — recruiting, coaches reaching out, learning to communicate for himself, the pressure of performing when college coaches are watching, and remembering that the school and education still have to make sense even if sports disappear tomorrow. And maybe the biggest lesson is one Kathryn offers to parents just beginning the journey: Enjoy it. Follow their passion if they’re passionate. Support them if they’re simply there to have fun, exercise or find a community. Use the tournaments and practices as opportunities to spend time together. Because years later, Kathryn doesn’t remember the scores from her own playing days. She remembers the bus rides, laughing with teammates and getting yelled at for singing too loudly. It’s funny, candid and familiar to anyone who has ever planned an entire weekend around a youth sporting event. And it ends with perhaps the perfect summary of the sports-parent experience: Basketball has given Austin? “Life.” Basketball has given Kathryn? “Not a life.” Episode 26: The Parent Behind the Player — with Kathryn Youngs. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation.

  5. Sep 29

    Episode 25 - Keep Showing Up | David Williams on Parkinson’s, Fear & Getting Back in the Water

    David Williams is four weeks away from attempting an Ironman 70.3. And he has Parkinson’s. In Part Two of our conversation, David talks about what that actually means. What happens when his right leg stops working in the water. Why he swims almost entirely with his upper body. What Parkinson’s feels like when he runs. And then there was the day he got into open water and couldn't do it. He got out. Took off his wetsuit. Handed over his timing bracelet. He was done. Until a volunteer told him: “You can't leave. You're already here.” David finished the bike and the run. Three days later, he was back in open water. That's what this episode is really about. Showing up. Getting back in the water. And refusing to let one moment, one diagnosis or one race define you. David also talks about his grandsons, the book he's writing and what he hopes they someday understand about his journey. And when we ask him to finish one sentence — “I am not finished because…” His answer is two words. “I'm living.” Augusta has happened. We know what happened. But that's David's story to tell. Stay tuned. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation.

  6. Sep 22

    Episode 24 - The Day Everything Changed | David Williams on Transformation and Parkinson's

    At 51, David Williams weighed 284 pounds. He had type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and was sleeping with a CPAP machine. At first, David started making small changes. Then came the moment when enough was enough. He changed the way he ate. He started walking. Then running. A first 5K turned into more miles. Eventually, David ran a marathon. Then he decided to become a triathlete. Five years after making that commitment, David told us: “I was definitely not the same person I used to be.” Then something started happening with his right leg. It wasn't working the way it should in the water. It started twitching. David knew something wasn't right. On April 16, 2025, he finally got an answer: tremor-dominant Parkinson's. David sat in the parking lot and cried. For the next month, he wondered what his life was going to look like and what would happen to the person he'd worked so hard to become. Then he made another decision. This is the first part of our conversation with David Williams. It's a short episode. Stay through the end. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation.

  7. Sep 15

    Episode 23 - More Than the Score | KJ Hill on Identity, Fatherhood & Redefining Winning

    What happens when sports stop being something you do and start becoming part of how you measure your own value? In Episode 23 of He Said, Son Said, Matt sits down with KJ Hill at ReCity in Durham, North Carolina, for a conversation about sports, identity, youth athletics, fatherhood, coaching, leadership, trust, and what it really means to win. KJ grew up immersed in sports: soccer, basketball, baseball, and track. Eventually he played college soccer, professional soccer, and later became a college coach. But as his athletic career evolved, so did the way he thought about competition, success, and self-worth. KJ reflects on how deeply performance became tied to identity, and how difficult it can be when winning, losing, and comparison start to feel like measures of personal value. The conversation then shifts into parenting. KJ is the father of four daughters, each with a different story in sports. One became a Division I pole vaulter. Another pursued soccer before choosing academics. Another played high school tennis. Another found field hockey. Those different paths opened up a bigger question: How much should parents push young athletes and when should they step back? KJ talks candidly about trying to protect his daughters from some of the unhealthy patterns he experienced growing up, while also hearing from them later that maybe they wished he had pushed them harder. That tension leads to one of the most powerful lines in the episode: “I wanted to guard my relationship with them more than see them succeed in sports.” From there, the conversation moves into leadership and professional life. KJ explains how the lessons he learned as an athlete and coach now show up in his work as a community leader at ReCity in Durham. He talks about team culture, trust, accountability, humility, motivation, and why healthy teams in sports, business, nonprofit work, or family life are built on relationships. They also dig into one of the biggest themes of the episode: How does your definition of winning change as you get older? For a younger KJ, winning and losing were closely tied to value, success, and identity. Today, he sees winning very differently. And when Matt asks what one word KJ hopes people associate with him, his answer is simple: Congruent. The same inside and out. This episode is about sports, but it is also about much more...athlete identity, sports parenting, coaching philosophy, leadership development, youth sports culture, team building, self-worth, community impact, and learning that the scoreboard can tell you who won without telling you what someone is worth. Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation. Topics include: sports and identity, athlete mental health, youth sports parenting, parenting athletes, college sports, professional soccer, coaching, fatherhood, leadership, team culture, trust, ReCity Durham, community leadership, self-worth, motivation, redefining success, and life after sports.

  8. Sep 8

    Episode 22 - I Gotta Stay Away for Him to Grow | On Their Turf with Stephen & JJ Robinson

    What happens when the sport you grew up in, the place your parents built, and the thing you once considered walking away from becomes the thing you choose for yourself? For Episode 22, Matt and Nash go On Their Turf at Triangle’s Best Karate with Stephen Robinson and his son, JJ. Karate has been part of the Robinson family for decades. Stephen and his wife, Cyndy, met as competitors, built the dojo together, and raised a family immersed in the sport. JJ started training when he was three or four, became an elite competitor, and eventually faced the question of whether karate was something he truly wanted — or simply something that had always been chosen for him. The conversation gets into competition and losing, what it was like for JJ to grow up with his dad as both father and sensei, and the work it took to become one of the best. Stephen shares what he learned about coaching his son, while JJ talks about the silent rides home, the pressure that came with competing, and eventually realizing that those experiences helped make him who he is. They also dig into JJ’s torn ACL — the anger, fear and uncertainty that followed, the worry that people might forget how good he was, and the mental challenge of learning to trust his body again. That opens a conversation with Matt and Nash about their own experiences with injury and recovery. But the story changes when JJ moves from competitor to coach and leader. He talks about discovering that every athlete needs something different, coaching people he once competed against, putting ego aside at the World Championships, and learning to see the whole picture instead of only the fight in front of him. And then there's the handoff. Stephen talks about giving JJ the dojo, watching his son struggle to earn the respect of students who had known him since he was in diapers, and eventually realizing: “I gotta stay away for him to grow.” That hits close to home for Matt and Nash, who have had their own version of that conversation from the sidelines of a basketball court. There’s plenty of family in this one, too — including JJ’s sister Asia, Cyndy’s five straight national championships, the story of Stephen and Cyndy’s first sparring match, some father-son trash talk, and the question of who in the Robinson family nobody wants to face. And before they leave, JJ gets one more student: Nash. It’s a conversation about karate, competition, injury, coaching, fatherhood, identity, letting go — and the difference between inheriting something and choosing it. He Said, Son Said Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation.

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About

Sports are the backdrop. Life is the conversation. He Said, Son Said is a father-and-son podcast where sports become the starting point for conversations that matter most. Every week, Matt and Nash explore the biggest stories in sports, reflect on life through the lens of fatherhood, and sit down with athletes, coaches, parents, and families whose journeys reveal far more than what happens on the field, court, or course. Together, they uncover the moments that shape us—the victories and setbacks, the relationships, the sacrifices, and the lessons that stay with us long after the final whistle. Because the greatest stories in sports aren't really about sports. They're about resilience. Leadership. Family. Purpose. And the people who help us become who we're meant to be.

Information

  • Creator
    Matt Haverkamp
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Matt Haverkamp
  • Show Website
    He Said, Son Said