One-Offs

Thomas Woodrow

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Comedy

Grab bag of gobbledygook

Oct 8

Blackberry-Picking, by Seamus Heaney

Blackberry-Pickingby Seamus Heaney Late August, given heavy rain and sun For a full week, the blackberries would ripen. At first, just one, a glossy purple clot Among others, red, green, hard as a knot. You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for Picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger Sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots Where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots. Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills We trekked and picked until the cans were full, Until the tinkling bottom had been covered With green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned Like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered With thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard's. We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre. But when the bath was filled we found a fur, A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache. The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour. I always felt like crying. It wasn't fair That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot. Each year I hoped they'd keep, knew they would not.
Jul 27

The Smoke House

written and read by Thomas Woodrow For Benjamin Woodrow-Fisch Who wanted a scary story with a monster
Jul 8

The Evening News, E05

Look out for yourselves. Don't eat too much cheese. And be kind to people you don't know, because you never know... ...who they really are.
Jul 6

The Evening News, E04

Look out for yourselves. Don't eat too much cheese. And be kind to people you don't know, cos you never know... ...who they really are.
Jul 4

"Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird"

"Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" by Wallace Stevens
Jul 1

"Jabberwocky"

"Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!” He took his vorpal sword in hand; Long time the manxome foe he sought— So rested he by the Tumtum tree And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” He chortled in his joy. ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Jun 30

"Anecdote of the Prince of Peacocks"

"Anecdote of the Prince of Peacocks" By Wallace Stevens In the moonlight I met Berserk, In the moonlight On the bushy plain. Oh, sharp he was As the sleepless! And, “Why are you red In this milky blue?” I said. “Why sun-colored, As if awake In the midst of sleep?” “You that wander,” So he said, “On the bushy plain, Forget so soon. But I set my traps In the midst of dreams.” I knew from this That the blue ground Was full of blocks And blocking steel. I knew the dread Of the bushy plain, And the beauty Of the moonlight Falling there, Falling As sleep falls In the innocent air.
Jun 30

The Clash of the Superheroes

"The Clash of the Superheroes" by Benjamin Woodrow-Fisch and Thomas Woodrow Two superheroes, each attempting to rescue a cat from destruction by an exploding ball of yarn, clash over who should save the day. Mayhem — and life lessons — follow.

Grab bag of gobbledygook

Creator

Thomas Woodrow
Years Active

2025 - 2026
Episodes

13
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© Copyright 2026 Thomas Woodrow
Show Website

One-Offs