What if some of the ways we communicate, respond to conflict, build relationships, and lead others are connected to messages we learned long before we understood their meaning? In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Esther Bubb welcomes back Tyrrea L. Graves, MEd, MBA, BCBA, LBS—Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, educator, entrepreneur, speaker, and author of Unspoken Truths: Marriage, Power, Secrets, and Survival. Drawing on more than 20 years of experience working with children and families, Tyrrea shares how childhood experiences, family dynamics, and the unspoken messages we inherit can influence our adult behavior, relationships, communication, and leadership. Through personal reflection, behavioral science, and storytelling, she invites us to consider the patterns we carry, the triggers we may not fully understand, and the truths we may have learned to keep silent. Together, Esther and Tyrrea explore: Childhood mantras and learned behavior: How messages such as “be strong,” “keep family matters private,” and “just get along” can influence the way we navigate adulthood. The power of self-reflection: Why asking “Why does this trigger me?” and “When was the first time I felt this way?” can open the door to greater self-awareness. Silence and healing: How unspoken experiences can remain influential and why creating space for honest, compassionate conversations matters. Generational patterns: How family norms and coping strategies can be passed down—and how intentional choices can help interrupt patterns we no longer want to repeat. Behavior analysis beyond traditional practice: How Tyrrea combines her professional knowledge and love of reading to make behavioral concepts accessible through fiction. Leadership and emotional intelligence: Why understanding our own triggers, values, and responses can help us better serve the people we lead. Boundaries, self-care, and growth: Why recognizing our capacity, giving ourselves grace, and working on ourselves over time are essential parts of the journey. This conversation is a reminder that understanding behavior requires more than looking at what someone does. It calls for curiosity about learning history, relationships, context, and the experiences that may be influencing the present. As Tyrrea reminds us, silence does not erase trauma. Her journey also offers an important message about taking responsibility for our growth, seeking support when needed, and making conscious choices about what we carry forward. Whether you are a leader, educator, behavior analyst, parent, or someone reflecting on your own personal journey, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface, challenge inherited assumptions, and consider what it means to create different possibilities for yourself and future generations. Reflection What messages did you learn growing up that still influence how you communicate, respond to conflict, establish boundaries, or lead others today? 0.5 Free BCBA Ethics CEU Available If you would like to obtain 0.5 Free Ethics CEU after listening to the episode, email Dr. Bubb at mail@esthercbubbabaservices.com. About Behaviorally Speaking: Leadership for Change Makers Behaviorally Speaking: Leadership for Change Makers is hosted by Dr. Esther C. Bubb, a behavior analyst and educational leader who explores leadership, behavior, dignity, organizational culture, and systems change. Leadership grounded in behavior. Guided by dignity. Designed for change. Connect with Dr. Esther Bubb If you're passionate about leadership, behavior science, education, and creating cultures where people flourish, you're in the right place. Because leadership isn't about changing people—it's about creating the conditions where people discover what's possible. Subscribe to Behaviorally Speaking: Leadership for Change-Makers for conversations that bridge behavior analysis, leadership, education, and organizational change. If you enjoyed this episode: ⭐ Follow the podcast ⭐ Leave a rating and review ⭐ Share this episode with a colleague, supervisor, educator, or fellow leader ⭐ Visit Esther C. Bubb ABA Services for additional leadership resources, training, and professional development opportunities 🌐 Esther C Bubb ABA Services: https://esthercbubbabaservices.com 📝 Behaviorally Speaking: Insight for Change Makers Blog: https://esthercbubbabaservices.com/blog Leadership is behavior. And behavior always tells a story. About Our Guest Tyrrea L. Graves, MEd, MBA, BCBA, LBS, Author Tyrrea L. Graves, MEd is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), educator, entrepreneur, speaker, and author with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, families, and organizations understand human behavior and drive meaningful change. As the CEO and Founder of Autistic Angels Behavioral Health, LLC, she has dedicated her career to empowering others through evidence-based practices, leadership, and compassionate support. Her work focuses on helping people recognize how early life experiences shape behavior, relationships, communication, and emotional well-being. Tyrrea is the author of Unspoken Truths: Marriage, Power, Secrets, and Survival, a powerful novel exploring how unresolved childhood experiences silently shape our adult lives. Drawing on storytelling, behavioral science, and lived experience, she invites audiences to examine the hidden patterns that influence how we love, lead, communicate, and heal. Her mission is to inspire honest conversations that break generational cycles, promote emotional healing, and empower people to reclaim their voices and live more authentically. Social Media Handles Facebook: Tyrrea Ross Graves & Autistic Angels, LLC Instagram: Tyrreawrites Unspoken Truths Website: https://www.theunspokentruthbook.com/ AI Info This episode description was written with the assistance of AI.
