Intro: Much of our work at AIBM documents how online sports betting harms young men. So it may surprise readers that our sports betting policy fellow is making the case for more gambling, of a certain kind. Isaac Rose-Berman argues that low-stakes games among friends can be a real source of connection, but the apps may be crowding them out. Isaac also discusses the piece with colleagues Jonathan D. Cohen and Anders Knospe in an accompanying conversation. Watch the video below, or listen to the audio above — or via your favorite podcasting app. Some of my fondest college memories are from the poker table. For four years, rain or shine, mask mandate or not, tough week or tough breakup, I could count on a Sunday night spent joking around with friends at the semi-regular cost of $20. One of the most common questions I hear from parents concerned about gambling is whether they should let their sons play poker or join fantasy football leagues and March Madness pools. My answer depends on their age and the stakes (ten-year-olds shouldn’t be playing cards for hundreds of dollars); I generally advise against a blanket ban. Social gambling—low-stakes games among friends—can be an important source of connection at a time when men are spending more time alone. Last year, the psychologist Annie Maheux wrote for AIBM about the social benefits of video games for young men. She noted that while gaming is “often seen as an activity that isolates, addicts, and even ruins young men’s lives,” it can also be “a primary space for social connection.” As one mother of a 13-year-old boy observed, her son and his friends often discussed school, friendships, and even intimate emotions while gaming together—in between the standard cheers and jeers. Investigations into the social dynamics of gambling are scant, but some research has identified similar benefits. A 2012 analysis found that the main reason for poker tournament participation was “social interaction,” and that tournaments can “overcome social, age, and gender barriers.” A 2026 study found that betting often served as an ice-breaker to initiate social interaction. As one participant put it, gambling is “a starting point, and then everything goes from there.” There are real risks. Gambling can beget more gambling, and underage gambling is associated with a greater risk of harm later in life. But low-stakes games with friends, in addition to providing social connection, may also substitute for more harmful and isolating alternatives. Friends have reasons to care about how much their friends lose. A 2024 study of Swedish poker players described how the men limited buy-ins and rebuys out of concern for each other’s finances. As researcher Klara Goedecke put it, poker “encompassed care which moderated competitiveness.” Casual games can also offer a forgiving environment to learn important gambling lessons; one player emphasized accepting what he couldn’t control, explaining that “all you can do is perform your best every time” without getting angry or sad, because “[losing] is a part of it.” Commercial gambling adds a cost that games among friends don’t have: the operator’s cut. The incentives are different, too: companies want to maximize what they earn from each user, without the same regard for their wellbeing. A recent New York Times investigation found that DraftKings, one of two major sports betting operators in the US, uses AI to identify the customers likeliest to lose and target them with inducements to keep betting. The company has resisted using the same technology to protect gamblers at risk of addiction. Sports betting and other forms of commercial gambling can be social. Friends can all bet $10 on a game to make it more exciting and watch together. But that social interaction is optional, and smartphones have made it easier than ever before to gamble alone. Putting together a poker game requires coordinating schedules, finding a host, and agreeing on stakes. That friction naturally limits how often most people play, whereas an app can be opened anytime, anywhere. Technological advancements have also made modern gambling faster, more intense, and more addictive. Historically, sports betting was seen as the safest form of gambling, as wagers typically took hours to resolve. Today, you can bet on every pitch in a baseball game and possession in a basketball game. Same-game parlays, invented just a few years ago, now account for more than half of all sportsbook wagers and allow gamblers to easily create custom lottery tickets. Personalized, optimized online gambling not only increases the risk of harm. It can also change expectations, increasing people’s desire and tolerance for more potent forms of gambling while making slower, more social alternatives less appealing. Someone accustomed to daily bets and longshot payouts is more likely to become bored by a low-stakes, season-long fantasy league. So is the cure for male loneliness more poker nights? Not on its own. But as apps make gambling faster, lonelier, and more lucrative for operators, it’s worth remembering that gambling can also be a social activity—something people do with friends, around a table, rather than alone against an app. Policymakers and parents who treat all gambling the same risk losing the kind that brings young men together in their efforts to address the kind that isolates and exploits them. Not everyone on our team is fully convinced. In the accompanying video, Jon asks whether social betting today is just the high-potency version with friends in the room. Anders points out that men without college degrees are twice as likely to report having no friends. That means the men who could gain the most from social gambling are also the ones we worry about most. You can watch their full conversation below: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.menonline.org
