The Gadfly Talks

Crystal Marie

Welcome to The Gadfly Talks, one woman’s answer to a world of soundbites and clapbacks. It’s inspired by Socratic dialogue, which involves cooperative, open-ended exploration rather than defensive one-upmanship or intellectual dominance.  This type of dialogue is portrayed in Plato’s Symposium by the temple priestess and mystic, Diotima of Mantinea, as she guides Socrates to insight about the nature of love (or eros, for my fellow Greek nerds).   The goal of Socratic dialogue is to temporarily suspend our beliefs, to allow space to explore ideas relationally and arrive at deep, collective insight — together. Refreshing, right? Think of it as making love to an idea rather than, well, the alternative. This dialectical approach goes beyond black-and-white, zero-sum thinking to embrace complexity, paradox, and mystery. It helps us resolve ideological tension and factionalism not with concrete answers, but cooperative inquiry and the ability to sit with the unknown. It asserts that wisdom begins with humility — not credentials— and culminates in wonder. Though some of the people I interview will be considered experts in their fields, I don't present them as sole purveyors of truth. Instead, I invite a variety perspectives to paint a kaleidoscopic picture of each topic we'll cover, one that's textured, nuanced. and even contradictory at times. How can this approach shift our perspective on the prevailing narratives of our time? What might happen if we ask more questions instead of defending assertions? All I know is, I’m eager to find out. I don’t offer medical advice or treatment, and this podcast shouldn’t replace it. But I do believe that healing happens in community. Maybe, just maybe, these talks can be a part of your healing, too.  Welcome to the podcast. The examined life starts here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

  1. MAR 29

    How Talking About Death Helps Us Live Better

    This episode features Tracey Walker, a death doula, educator, and funeral professional with a background in both human and animal medicine. She shares her journey from working as a paramedic and veterinary technician to finding her calling in holistic death care. Tracey discusses the cultural taboos surrounding death, the parallels between birth and dying, and how preparing for the end of life can lead to a more intentional and peaceful experience. Follow her on instagram @deathdouladiva About Tracey Walker:  Death Doula (End-of-Life Doula) and educator in medicine and death care.Funeral professional currently working in a funeral home setting.Former paramedic with experience in emergency, acute, and palliative care.Licensed veterinary technician with a background in primatology and animal medicine.Specialist in helping humans navigate the death of their animal companions.Topics: Origin story: From a childhood fascination with dead animals to a career in medicine.The transition from medical "death-adjacent" work to holistic death doula care.Parallels between the biological processes of birth and death.The concept of a "good death" and the role of privilege and acceptance.Dealing with death anxiety, religious influences, and the "fire and brimstone" spectrum.Practical steps for end-of-life preparation to ease the burden on loved ones.The science and "woo-woo" of death: Energy, hormones, and what happens when the body shuts down.Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Tracey’s Origin Story02:45 Discovering the Role of a Death Doula03:38 Career in Emergency and Veterinary Medicine05:42 Finding Calm in the Presence of Death06:53 Fear vs. Practicality in End-of-Life Care09:36 Conversations and Taboos Around Dying11:17 Religion, Culture, and the Middle Ground12:26 How the Body Knows How to Die14:00 Parallels Between Birth and Death15:59 What Makes a "Good Death"?18:15 Acceptance and Supporting the Dying Process19:57 Life as Preparation for Death21:30 Discussing the Afterlife and NDEs23:25 Energy, Science, and the "Woo-Woo" of Death25:03 The Importance of Death Literacy27:04 Cultural Shifts in Grieving Practices27:55 Understanding Grief: A Complex Journey32:47 Transformations at the End of Life38:18 The Role of Death Doulas in Care43:45 Medical Perspectives on Death and Dying47:30 Why Talking About Death Makes Life Bigger Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    50 min
  2. FEB 19

    A Love Affair With Fear

    This episode features Kristen Ulmer, a former world-famous extreme skier once celebrated as the "most fearless woman" in her sport. She shares how her perceived fearlessness was actually an unconscious, high-risk "love affair with fear." After retiring, she reflected on what her career taught her, leading her to coach others on how to embrace their fear rather than resist it. About Kristen Ulmer: Former professional extreme skier, named the most fearless woman athlete in North America.Spent 12 years as the best woman big-mountain extreme skier, starring in films and pioneering first descents.High-performance facilitator and thought leader on fear and anxiety.Long-time student of Zen and a voice dialogue facilitator.Author of The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead. Topics: From a meek, shy kid to a world-famous extreme danger athlete.Her "love affair with fear": addiction to adrenaline and feeling intensely alive.The turning point: retiring and realizing she didn't understand fear.Fear as a person living in your body: shifting from resistance to relationship.What "intimacy with fear" actually feels like in the body.Flow states, extreme sports, and why the best danger athletes relate to fear differently. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Fear and Kristen Ulmer's Journey03:43 The Relationship Between Fear and Anxiety06:45 From Unconscious to Conscious: Kristen's Athletic Career08:25 The Love Affair with Fear11:24 The Message: Embracing Fear Instead of Conquering It14:05 The Transition to Teaching and Facilitating17:06 Secrets of High-Performance Athletes19:38 Understanding Intimacy with Fear22:31 Resistance vs. Intimacy: The Key to Flow25:02 Practical Advice for Managing Panic and Anxiety28:02 The Nature of Fear and Its Manifestations30:17 Rethinking Mental Health: The War on Fear31:43 Levels of Dealing with Fear: From Resistance to Intimacy36:09 Embracing Fear: The Path to Intimacy39:03 The Role of Trauma in Anxiety Disorders41:09 Zen Influence: Handling Fear in Life and Sports45:16 Choosing to Embrace Fear in Sports and Life52:29 The Control of Thoughts and Positivity53:29 Rethinking Anxiety Management54:51 The Cost of Resistance57:44 The Domino Effect of Fear01:00:09 Intimacy with Emotions01:03:02 Navigating Fear and Control01:04:53 The Spiritual Component of Fear01:13:47 Embracing Fear as a Messenger Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1h 15m
  3. JAN 11

    We Hurt Where We Care

    Dr. Eric Goodman is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias. He shares his own history with two major phobias (public speaking and flying) he later treated using exposure principles. We dive into what fear and anxiety really are, why they so often feel irrational, and how we can relate to them more skillfully instead of trying to get rid of them. Instead of chasing “anxiety‑free” promises, we explore how curiosity, humility, and shared stories can help us live well with fear while still moving toward what matters.  If you’re someone who has tried to logic your way out of fear, or who feels like anxiety means you’re broken rather than deeply human, this conversation is for you. About Dr. Eric Goodman Clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobiasLecturer in the psychology department at California Polytechnic State University (Cal Poly) with a private practice in San Luis Obispo, CaliforniaAuthor of:The Mindful Freak‑Out: A Rescue Manual for Being at Your Best When Life Is at Its WorstYour Anxiety Beast and You: A Compassionate Guide for Living in an Increasingly Anxious WorldSocial Courage: Coping and Thriving with the Reality of Social Anxiety Topics Eric’s personal journey through public‑speaking fear and a severe flying phobiaWhat exposure therapy really is, and why it must be done without safety behaviorsSafety behaviors vs. compulsions, and how they keep anxiety stuckThe “big, dopey guard dog” metaphor for anxietyHunter‑gatherer nervous systems in a modern, always‑on worldSocial media, news, and the rise of generalized anxietyExistential dread: death anxiety, fear of hell, and spiritual abuseLearning to tolerate uncertainty and live alongside fear“We hurt where we care”: anxiety around work, creativity, and relationships Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Fear and Anxiety 03:14 Personal Experiences with Fear 08:07 Understanding Phobias and Safety Behaviors 14:53 The Language of the Nervous System 21:24 Modern Anxiety in a Digital World 27:48 Existential Dread and Coping Mechanisms 33:55 Spirituality, Fear, and Healing 36:39 Cultural Messages About Fear 37:31 Understanding Anxiety: A Natural Part of Life 42:45 The Role of Mindfulness in Managing Anxiety 45:06 When Anxiety Becomes Detrimental 48:57 Facing Fears: The Path to Overcoming Anxiety 53:18 The Wisdom of Fear: Navigating Life's Threats 57:22 The Dual Nature of Fear: Protection vs. Paralysis 01:01:18 Reframing Fear: From Pain to Power 01:05:26 Practical Steps for Managing Anxiety 01:07:12 Understanding Anxiety as a Protective Mechanism 01:08:11 Fear: A Companion in Modern Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1h 8m
  4. SEASON 1 TRAILER

    Trailer

    In 4th century Athens, a man was put to death for “corrupting the youth.” What made Socrates so dangerous wasn’t radical sermons or manifestos. It was something much simpler: he asked questions. He almost never offered his own answers. Instead, he asked the kind of childlike questions that seem innocent at first, then slowly unravel what we think is obvious. The more people tried to defend their beliefs, the more those beliefs slipped through their fingers—until frustration, even rage, bubbled up where certainty used to be. Socrates wasn’t just threatening people’s status or power. He was threatening their sense of who they were — how they made meaning, justified their choices, and kept their deepest fears at bay. Because when we really start asking questions, we’re pushed into a liminal space: the place of not‑knowing. And as a species, we’re not very comfortable there. That space can feel like a void. But a void can also be a womb — the birthplace of all possibility. A teacher of mine once said, “I don’t know is God’s true name.” That’s the spirit of this show. This is The Gadfly Talks, a podcast where we practice that dangerous but innocent curiosity together. Each episode, we set aside easy answers and ask the questions we’re not supposed to ask — about mental health, meaning, power, and what it really means to be human.  By stripping away what we think we know, we move closer to what Taoism calls “the uncarved block”: a state of deconditioning, vulnerability, and authenticity. Maybe, like children wondering at the obvious, we can rediscover our shared humanity — if none of us really knows, maybe we’re all in the same boat after all. If you’re tired of hot takes and hungry for honest questions, hit follow and join the conversation. Welcome to the podcast where — we think, therefore we ask. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    2 min

Trailer

About

Welcome to The Gadfly Talks, one woman’s answer to a world of soundbites and clapbacks. It’s inspired by Socratic dialogue, which involves cooperative, open-ended exploration rather than defensive one-upmanship or intellectual dominance.  This type of dialogue is portrayed in Plato’s Symposium by the temple priestess and mystic, Diotima of Mantinea, as she guides Socrates to insight about the nature of love (or eros, for my fellow Greek nerds).   The goal of Socratic dialogue is to temporarily suspend our beliefs, to allow space to explore ideas relationally and arrive at deep, collective insight — together. Refreshing, right? Think of it as making love to an idea rather than, well, the alternative. This dialectical approach goes beyond black-and-white, zero-sum thinking to embrace complexity, paradox, and mystery. It helps us resolve ideological tension and factionalism not with concrete answers, but cooperative inquiry and the ability to sit with the unknown. It asserts that wisdom begins with humility — not credentials— and culminates in wonder. Though some of the people I interview will be considered experts in their fields, I don't present them as sole purveyors of truth. Instead, I invite a variety perspectives to paint a kaleidoscopic picture of each topic we'll cover, one that's textured, nuanced. and even contradictory at times. How can this approach shift our perspective on the prevailing narratives of our time? What might happen if we ask more questions instead of defending assertions? All I know is, I’m eager to find out. I don’t offer medical advice or treatment, and this podcast shouldn’t replace it. But I do believe that healing happens in community. Maybe, just maybe, these talks can be a part of your healing, too.  Welcome to the podcast. The examined life starts here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.