The Raw Onion Podcast

The layers underneath burnout, perfectionism, and the crossroads you never saw coming.

🎙 The Raw Onion Podcast. Hosted by Neuroscience and Generational-Stress Coach Stephanie Ohannesian and Crossroads Coach Yoshie Barnett. Together, we blend energy and insight, speed and emotional depth, creativity and clarity. therawonion.substack.com

  1. 2d ago

    The Yes Machine

    Something told you that you were right, and it felt so good you didn't stop to check. That feeling is the subject of this episode. In March, researchers at Stanford and Carnegie Mellon published a study in Science testing 11 leading AI systems. The machines affirmed people's choices about 49% more often than other humans did. After one conversation about a real conflict, people were more certain they were right and less willing to apologize or repair. They also trusted the flattering AI more. Episode 37 opens our October theme, The Mirror That Talks Back. Us…in the Age of AI. Full disclosure: we used AI to help research this one, then checked it against the actual papers. We get into: A new "relationship" with someone named Claude2,000 posts from Reddit's "Am I the A*****e?" forumWhy your brain treats disagreement like a mistakeThe slot machine versus the warm bathWhat the "ChatGPT is shrinking your brain" headline leaves outLondon taxi drivers and GPSA therapy chatbot that was designed to help instead of to be likedWhy growth has never come from being agreed withIn this episode, you will learn: Why being agreed with feels like relief, especially for those of us who have spent years not being believedWhat happens in the brain when your opinion clashes with the group, and why beliefs tied to identity get defended like threatsHow AI assistants were trained into flattery, partly by accident and partly by incentiveWhat the research on heavy chatbot use, loneliness, and emotional dependence does and does not showWhy the order matters: brain first, machine secondWhy sycophancy is a design choice, not the technology itselfAn anti-flattery toolkit you can start using tonight⏱️ CHAPTERS [0:00] "I'm talking to someone" [1:38] The study that should make us uncomfortable [8:22] Why disagreement registers as an error in the brain [14:45] Why would anyone build a flatterer? [19:21] Coming soon: Not Her Anymore [20:44] What is AI actually doing to my brain? [23:53] "ChatGPT is shrinking your brain": what the study says [29:38] The case for AI: the Therabot trial [32:48] The anti-flattery toolkit [37:03] Back to the mirror: growth needs friction 🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION: Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/ Let's talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

    The Yes Machine
  2. Sep 30

    Betrayal in the Boardroom

    She told them it stayed at the table. Two weeks later, HR called. For Heather Rippere, it was her dream job. One dinner and one shared secret later, a coworker was gone and her trust in the team was broken. She stayed nearly ten years, kept her head down, and never spoke about it. Now a leadership coach and author, Heather joined The Raw Onion to close out our September series on betrayal. This time we take it where many of us spend most of our day: the workplace. We get into: The dinner-table secret that cost a coworker his job and shaped how Heather showed up for almost ten yearsWhy HR is not your friend (said with respect)How a work problem so often traces back to childhoodThe burnout both Heather and Stephanie went through because they could not say noIn this episode, you will learn: Why going quiet after betrayal is your brain adapting, not paranoiaWhy workplace betrayal sparks anger instead of heartbreakHow taking responsibility differs from blaming yourselfHow coaching moves you from functional to optimalWhy authenticity at work needs boundariesWhat Heather would tell her younger corporate self🎙️ GUEST: Heather Rippere, PCC. ICF PCC-certified leadership coach, Prosci® Certified Change Practitioner, and trauma-informed NLP practitioner with nearly 30 years of corporate experience. Her work blends somatics and change management. Author of From Imposter to Influencer: Stories and Steps to Unlock Self-Doubt and Lead Authentically. ⏱️ CHAPTERS: [0:00]  Welcome [4:15]  Meet Heather: a coach who lived it [7:01]  A dream job and a secret at dinner [12:09]  Trust is a prediction your brain makes [21:09]  Taking responsibility privately [32:30]  Why workplace betrayal hits differently [39:01]  How coaching moves you forward [47:41]  Authenticity needs boundaries [48:41]  Stephanie and Heather on burnout [1:06:38]  Choosing how you trust again [1:09:10]  Where to find Heather 🛠️ RESOURCES: Appraisal theory, Richard LazarusDickerson and Kemeny's research on social-evaluative threat🔗 CONNECT WITH HEATHER RIPPERE: Website: heatherrippere.com Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Imposter-Influencer-Stories-Unlock-Authentically/dp/B0FSS3TWVW/ Book (Lulu): https://www.lulu.com/shop/heather-k-rippere/from-imposter-to-influencer/paperback/product-p6g8mqj.html? 🔗 CONNECT WITH US: The Raw Onion: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Let's Connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

    Betrayal in the Boardroom
  3. Sep 23

    Marriage Implosion - How One Woman Dealt with The Ultimate Betrayal

    The person who was supposed to catch you is the one who let you fall. That is betrayal, and it does not behave like ordinary heartbreak. We sit down with Lauren Cheney, a mom of two who rebuilt her life after an almost 20-year marriage ended in betrayal. Yoshie also shares her own story on camera for the first time. We get into why this wound cuts so deep, why so many of us blame ourselves and try to fix the very person who hurt us, and what the brain and body are actually doing in the worst of it. In this episode: Why betrayal from your closest person cuts deeper than any other lossThe strange "gift" in Lauren's timeline that showed her it was never her faultWhy the brain treats the person who hurt you like an addictionGuilt vs. shame, and why the shame spiral keeps us silentBroken heart syndrome, and the study on Tylenol and social painThe phases of betrayal trauma, and why you stabilize first 🎙️ GUEST: Lauren Cheney is a mom of two who rebuilt her life after an almost 20-year marriage ended in betrayal. A Certified Emotion Code® and Body Code® Practitioner, she draws on holistic work and her own hard-won experience to explore both traditional and unconventional ways back to steady ground. When she shared her story online, her videos passed a million views. She is now launching her own podcast on rebuilding and moving forward after betrayal. ⏱️ CHAPTERS: [00:00] What if everything ended? [5:33] Lauren's story: blindsided after 20 years [13:03] Yoshie's story, and the shared thread [20:08] Why betrayal cuts deepest: the oxytocin bond [23:40] An attachment injury, not just broken trust [28:40] The brain on rejection, and the urge to fix [34:51] Guilt, shame, and releasing it [42:14] The phases: stabilize before you make sense of it [51:52] Broken heart syndrome, and the Tylenol study [57:10] The first spark of joy, and rewiring the brain 🛠️ RESOURCES: Book: The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays: https://amzn.to/4yDRfPO (Affiliate link shared by our guest. Purchases may earn her a commission at no extra cost to you.)Find a betrayal-trauma-trained therapist or coach. Search the APSATS or CCPS credentials: https://iitap.com/page/TherapistDirectoryHelen Fisher's MRI research: a rejecting partner's photo lights up the same dopamine circuitry as addiction.Takotsubo cardiomyopathy ("broken heart syndrome"): an adrenaline surge that mimics a heart attack.DeWall and Eisenberger study: acetaminophen eased both hurt feelings and social-pain activity in the brain.Bach Rescue Remedy 🔗 CONNECT WITH LAUREN: BetterAfterBetrayal: https://www.tiktok.com/@betterafterbetrayal 🔗 THE RAW ONION: Web: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Web: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com

    Marriage Implosion - How One Woman Dealt with The Ultimate Betrayal
  4. Sep 9

    How Dangerous IS The ‘Dopamine Dip’

    A dip you can't feel happening is still doing damage. When something you counted on doesn't arrive, your brain doesn't just feel let down. It drops below baseline, into a real deficit. This week we go deeper into September's theme, The Wound That Wasn't What You Expected. This is Part 2. We look at what your brain is actually doing when reality doesn't match what you predicted. Why disappointment and betrayal grow from the same root but land in completely different places. And why a real betrayal can keep your body on alert for years before you ever notice. We get into: Why your brain is a prediction machine, not a cameraWhat dopamine is actually for (it was never really about pleasure)Why an expectation that goes unmet drops you below baseline, not just to neutralThe difference between a letdown and a betrayal, mapped in the brainWhy the expectations we never say out loud do the most damageWhy living in fight or flight for years shows up in your body, your weight, your hair, your skin In this episode, you will learn: Why your disappointment is not proof you're too sensitiveWhy a missed expectation updates your model of the world, and a betrayal updates your model of a person you had already filed under safeWhy resentment can feel older than it shouldWhat your brain is really doing when a story never gets to close ⏱️ CHAPTERS [00:00] Welcome, and the expectations we hand people without telling them [4:42] Your brain is a prediction machine [6:34] Prediction error, from a coffee cup to your relationships [8:53] Dopamine's real job (it was never pleasure) [9:59] The dopamine factory: VTA and nucleus accumbens [11:16] Why an unmet expectation drops you below baseline [13:59] The orbital frontal cortex and updating value [15:57] Is betrayal the same as disappointment? The trust game [17:54] The anterior insula and the deeper cut of betrayal 🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION: Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com Guest form: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com/be-our-guest/ 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/ Let's talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

    How Dangerous IS The ‘Dopamine Dip’
  5. Sep 2

    Why Betrayal Feels Like A Bullet To The Brain And A Beating To The Bone

    Your stomach drops. Your chest goes tight. Something clicks into place and your whole body reacts before your mind can catch up. That is not you being too sensitive. That is your brain doing exactly what it was built to do. This week we open a brand new theme on the Raw Onion: The Wound That Wasn't What You Expected. We are starting with betrayal, the topic so many of you wrote in to ask about. Masks are slipping. Marriages are ending after decades over a single text. Long friendships are quietly rearranging. And underneath every one of those stories sits the same biology. Stephanie walks through what actually happens when someone you trusted breaks that trust, why it registers as real physical pain, why it lands so much harder on some of us than others, and why the people who look like they have it most together are often the ones who get flattened. We get into: Why your body reacts to betrayal before your mind can explain itThe old idea that emotional pain and physical pain live in separate places, and why the research no longer holdsWhy the closer the person, the worse the betrayal tends to landThe secondary wave of betrayal that has nothing to do with the original eventWhy the same betrayal can devastate one person and barely register for another In this episode, you will learn: What is happening in the brain the moment trust breaksWhy betrayal makes your body brace, not just your feelings acheHow your earliest years quietly wrote the template you filter every betrayal throughWhy perfectionists and overpreparers often get hit the hardestWhy being careful enough was never the force field you were promised ⏱️ CHAPTERS [00:00] Welcome back [02:45] A new theme: the wound you didn't expect [07:11] When the brain can't tell betrayal from injury [13:09] Betrayal as a prediction error [15:26] Why closeness makes it worse [18:23] Why we don't all respond the same [23:16] The perfectionist who gets flattened 🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION: Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/ Book a call: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

    Why Betrayal Feels Like A Bullet To The Brain And A Beating To The Bone
  6. Jul 29

    From Mountain Tops to Mortgages

    Most men are taught the body is a machine to push and the brain a problem to solve. Jon Butler learned something different. After twenty years in some of the world's best kitchens, he left one of the most physically demanding careers there is for one of the most mentally demanding: finance. What carried him through both was not mindset or strategy. It was his body on a trail, on a rock face, where the only thing that exists is the next thing to hold. Jon is our first male guest, and this conversation about the body and brain is one few people are invited to have. We get into: Why leaving a twenty-year career felt less like quitting and more like outgrowing itHow the body tells the truth when your working life is telling you who to beThe kitchen as constant fight-or-flight, and what happens when the stress never stopsMatching your outlet to your load, so the reset is as big as the pressureTaking one small action when you're frozen at a crossroads  In this episode, you will learn: Why your body knows you've outgrown something before your mind admits itWhat happens when chronic stress becomes your baseline, not an emergency settingHow choosing a hard thing shifts what your brain believes you're capable ofWhy settling the nervous system first leads to clearer decisions at a crossroads  🎙️ GUEST: Jon Butler is a mortgage broker and former chef in Southern California. Before finance, he spent 20+ years in hospitality, with apprenticeships at Arzak and Noma and leadership roles at République, 71Above, The Rose Venice, and the Michelin programs at Sparrows Lodge and Holiday House. Today he helps clients navigate home financing and complex lending. Outside work, he climbs and pursues alpine adventures worldwide, volunteers with the Riverside Mountain Rescue Unit, and spends time with his wife, Laura, and their French bulldog, Nico.   ⏱️ CHAPTERS: [00:00] Welcome Jon Butler [3:45] 20 years in the kitchen and chasing the next challenge [8:42] Realizing he'd outgrown the profession [19:42] Taking one small action to bring the prefrontal cortex back online [23:02] The kitchen as chronic fight-or-flight and what constant stress does to the brain [32:09] Building your own prison and holding the key out [44:08] Why a challenge you choose rewires the brain: allostatic loading in reverse [45:35] The dopamine, norepinephrine, and endorphin hit that makes it stick [50:22] Starting small when a curb feels like a mountain [59:16] Settling the nervous system before the big decisions   🔗 CONNECT WITH JON BUTLER: Website: jon-butler.com Email: jonb@barrettfinancial.com FB/IG: @jonbutler84   🔗 CONNECT WITH US: The Raw Onion: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com   🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom   🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Let's Connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

    From Mountain Tops to Mortgages
  7. Jul 22

    I Got Fired. And I’ve Never Been More Proud

    They handed her a cake. They sang. Then they asked her to bring a pen and paper into the other room and hand over her laptop and her phone. Stephanie got fired for calling out a toxic environment. A few months later, the exact people she named were fired for the exact things she named them for. This episode is about what made her speak up the second time when she stayed silent the first. Same kind of company. Same behavior. Completely different response. The difference was not courage, and it was not willpower. Discipline is downstream of regulation. When the body does not feel safe, the fastest route to relief wins. That is not weakness. That is biology. We get into: The ER visit that ended the first chapterWhy self-discipline rises and falls with your nervous system, not your resolveThe moment she named what was happening to her teamThe birthday cake, the laptop, the escort out of the buildingThe people she named getting fired a few months laterA new job forty-eight hours later, and eventually Triage In this episode, you will learn: Why willpower is the wrong explanation for standards that collapse at workWhat chronic stress changes in the brain, and why silence starts to feel like the only optionHow the same environment can show up twice and land completely differentlyWhy sleep, connection, and a sense of control are conditions for repairWhat it cost to speak up, and what staying silent was already costing ⏱️ CHAPTERS 0:00 I got fired 3:30 The burnout that started it all 6:58 Discipline is downstream of regulation 12:03 What chronic stress does to the prefrontal cortex 16:23 Sleep, connection, and a sense of control 19:00 Calling it out: not on my watch 20:57 The birthday cake and the firing 22:26 The irony a few months later 31:04 Forty-eight hours later, and how Triage was born 🔗 CONNECT WITH US Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com Email: hello@therawonionpodcast.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Stephanie works with high-performing individuals and teams to understand what is actually driving the loop, and reset it at the level where it began. Neuroscience-based, practical, and built for people who have already tried everything else. Website: https://triagebalancedlife.com/ Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Yoshie Barnett is a Crossroads Coach and the founder of Lotus Flower Journeys, working with high-achieving women in midlife who are meeting a crossroads and finding that perfectionism no longer gets them through it. Website: https://www.lotusflowerjourneys.com/ Connect: https://www.lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact/

    I Got Fired. And I’ve Never Been More Proud
  8. Jul 15

    Body of a Yogi, Brain of a Baddie … Both Belong to You

    Everything on the outside can be faked now. The one thing that still can't lie to you is your own body. This week, yoga instructor and Yoga Moxi founder Michele Carrión Yopps joins us to talk about what happens when we stop trusting ourselves, and how to build that trust back. We get into: Why corporate environments are built to numb the body's signalsThe heart's own nervous system and what that means for "gut feeling"The eight limbs of yogaWhy chronic burnout physically changes brain tissue, and what helps it rebuildInherited stress and where the body stores what the mind forgets In this episode, you will learn: Why your body may register something before your mind catches upHow corporate spaces are structured to quiet the body's signalsWhat the gut-to-brain pathway means for how you process the worldHow chronic burnout changes brain tissue, and what helps reverse it ⏱️ CHAPTERS: 0:00 Welcome and the question of trust 6:16 Meet Michele Carrión Yopps 10:05 The crossroads: burnout hiding in plain sight 15:31 The heart's 40,000 neurons 18:32 How corporate spaces numb the body 20:55 The eight limbs of yoga 24:50 About Yoga Moxi + coming soon: a collaboration with The Raw Onion 26:31 The gut-brain highway, 80 percent starts here 37:25 Joseph LeDoux high road/low road 43:26 Flow state and breath 53:00 A hospital bed and shrinking gray matter 57:00 Fascia, memory, and inherited stress 1:03:56 One breathing hack to leave with 🎙️ GUEST: Michele Carrión Yopps, founder of the Yoga Moxie app. Certified in Hatha Alignment Yoga, Yoga for First Responders, and Yoga Nidra. She has also trained with Master Paulie Zink and Gioconda Parker. Spent over 20 years in corporate media and marketing before crossing into yoga full time. 🔗 CONNECT WITH MICHELE CARRIÓN YOPPS: Website: https://yogamoxi.com/ App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/yogamoxi/id1639610883 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yogamoxi/ 🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION: Website: The Raw Onion Email: hello@therawonionpodcast.com Subscribe to our YouTube channel Follow us on Substack Follow us on Instagram 🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE: Website: Triage Balanced Life Let's Talk: Free 30-min call 🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE: Website: Lotus Flower Journeys Let's Connect: Free clarity call

    Body of a Yogi, Brain of a Baddie … Both Belong to You

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

🎙 The Raw Onion Podcast. Hosted by Neuroscience and Generational-Stress Coach Stephanie Ohannesian and Crossroads Coach Yoshie Barnett. Together, we blend energy and insight, speed and emotional depth, creativity and clarity. therawonion.substack.com

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