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Deeply Unimportant: Sleep Stories for Racing Minds

Dallas Kachan — Boring Technical Readings for Sleep
  • 4.0 (4)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Can't turn your brain off to sleep? If you're an over-thinker with racing thoughts at night, or living with adult ADHD or OCD mental looping, traditional bedtime stories for adults are often too engaging—and meditation is too quiet. You don't need a narrative; you need a cognitive shunt. Deeply Unimportant is the premier non-pharmacological insomnia relief tool. We utilize the Cognitive Shuffling protocol (also known as Serial Diverse Imagining or SDI), a research-based method developed by research expert Luc Beaudoin to neutralize the racing thoughts that trigger executive dysfunction at night. By replacing intrusive thoughts with rhythmic, technical data read by a real life former news anchor—from NASA specifications to administrative codes—we provide a therapeutic ASMR experience that facilitates a natural transition into deep sleep. It's the ultimate non-pharmaceutical sleep alternative for those seeking CBT-I sleep techniques at home. Why this is the ultimate sleep aid: - The Cognitive Shuffle Method: A specialized sleep shunting process that scrambles mental loops. - Therapeutic ASMR: A flat affect, professional delivery designed to calm the nervous system without the distractions of "Nothing Much Happens"-style storytelling. - Executive & ADHD Support: Specifically engineered for high-functioning minds that struggle with "brain-burn" and the inability to shut down. Join thousands of listeners who have traded adult sleep stories for the clinical efficacy of the Deeply Unimportant. Stop searching for a sleepytime podcast and start using a protocol that works.

  1. Sleep Story: Engineering Specifications of Corrugated Fiberboard

    2D AGO

    Sleep Story: Engineering Specifications of Corrugated Fiberboard

    Fall asleep to a deep, soothing voice reading the most inconsequential material imaginable. This is the ultimate sleep aid for racing thoughts: boring technical readings to help you achieve natural sleep and quiet insomnia. Displace the friction of the day with an overview of the TAPPI (Technical Association of the Pulp and Paper Industry) standards for corrugated fiberboard. This episode bypasses the modern preoccupation with online commerce and the "unboxing" experience to focus on the structural integrity of the shipping container itself. We explore the mechanical geometry of Flute Profiles A through F, the precise moisture-to-liner ratios required for Mullen Burst resistance, and the exhaustive adhesive bonding requirements of double-wall construction. This is a technical descent into the microscopic architecture of the liner and the medium—a world where the only variable is the number of flutes per linear foot and the vertical stacking strength of a square inch. Deeply Unimportant is a sleep podcast designed for those who benefit from structure to drift off. By focusing on meticulous, non-narrative detail, we provide a form of cognitive shuffle for ADHD and anxiety—anchoring the mind with the professional broadcast gravitas of a former newscaster so you can stop racing thoughts at night. No whispers or fairy tales; just ordered, structured, monotone voice sleep support. This version of the show is ad-supported: ads play at the beginning of the episode, but nowhere else as you drift off. Access a full archive of ad-free sleep episodes (including long versions that run all night, and infinite loops) for a few dollars a month. Visit https://deeplyunimportant.com to subscribe or gift a membership to a fellow over-thinker.

    42 min

  2. 3D AGO ·  BONUS • SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

    The Engineering Specifications of Corrugated Fiberboard - Loopable

    Displace the friction of the day with an overview of the TAPPI (Technical Association of the Pulp and Paper Industry) standards for corrugated fiberboard. This episode bypasses the modern preoccupation with online commerce and the "unboxing" experience to focus on the structural integrity of the shipping container itself. We explore the mechanical geometry of Flute Profiles A through F, the precise moisture-to-liner ratios required for Mullen Burst resistance, and the exhaustive adhesive bonding requirements of double-wall construction. This is a technical descent into the microscopic architecture of the liner and the medium—a world where the only variable is the number of flutes per linear foot and the vertical stacking strength of a square inch.

    18 min

  3. 4D AGO ·  BONUS • SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

    Retro-Phasic Calibration of the Model Six Turbo Encabulator – SUBSCRIBER BONUS

    In this technical retrospective, we examine critical maintenance protocols for the Model Six Turbo Encabulator, specifically focusing on the transition from manual side-fumbling mitigation to automated sinusoidal control. We delve into the structural integrity of the original prefabricated amulite base plate and the specific torque requirements for the semi-boloid slots. This episode is designed to provide a steady, rhythmic flow of mechanical specifications and logistical data, ideal for neutralizing racing thoughts by replacing them with the dense, stable logic of mid-century industrial engineering. WARNING: If you are an engineer or have a technical bent, this episode is apt to generate laughter and may not be suitable as an actual sleep aid. The Turbo Encabulator is a fictional machine that has been an in-joke among engineers since 1944. For most listeners, the over-the-top fabricated jargon of this episode will amuse. It’s delivered here as a straight, sonorous Deeply Unimportant episode for parody value, exclusively for subscribers. Listen at your own risk!

    43 min
  4. Sleep Aid: The USDA Textural Classification of Soil

    MAR 22

    Sleep Aid: The USDA Textural Classification of Soil

    Fall asleep to a deep, soothing voice reading the most inconsequential material imaginable. This is the ultimate sleep aid for racing minds, utilizing boring technical readings to help you achieve natural sleep and quiet insomnia. Surrender to the granular certainties of the USDA NRCS Soil Survey Manual. This episode bypasses the emotional complexity of the surface world to focus on the 2.0-millimeter threshold that separates "soil" from "geological debris." We explore the mechanical rigidity of the Fine Earth Fraction, the precise moisture-to-clay ratios required for the "Ribbon Test," and the exhaustive 12-point classification of the USDA Textural Triangle. This is a technical descent into the grittiness of sand, the silkiness of silt, and the heavy, plastic cohesion of clay—a world where the only thing that matters is the diameter of a particle and the pressure of a thumb. Deeply Unimportant is a sleep podcast designed for those who need structure to drift off. By focusing on meticulous, non-narrative detail, we provide a form of cognitive shuffle for ADHD and anxiety—anchoring the mind with the professional broadcast gravitas of a former newscaster so you can stop racing thoughts at night. No whispers or fairy tales; just ordered, structured, monotone voice sleep support. This version of the show is ad-supported: ads play at the beginning of the episode, but nowhere else as you drift off. Access a full archive of ad-free sleep episodes (including long versions that run all night, and infinite loops) for a few dollars a month. Visit http://deeplyunimportant.com to subscribe or gift a membership to a fellow over-thinker.

    36 min

  5. MAR 22 ·  BONUS • SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

    The USDA Textural Classification of Soil - Loopable

    Surrender to the granular certainties of the USDA NRCS Soil Survey Manual. This episode bypasses the emotional complexity of the surface world to focus on the 2.0-millimeter threshold that separates "soil" from "geological debris." We explore the mechanical rigidity of the Fine Earth Fraction, the precise moisture-to-clay ratios required for the "Ribbon Test," and the exhaustive 12-point classification of the USDA Textural Triangle. This is a technical descent into the grittiness of sand, the silkiness of silt, and the heavy, plastic cohesion of clay—a world where the only thing that matters is the diameter of a particle and the pressure of a thumb.

    15 min
  6. Sleep Story: The ANSI/MH1-2016 Pallet Standard (Cognitive Shuffle)

    MAR 15

    Sleep Story: The ANSI/MH1-2016 Pallet Standard (Cognitive Shuffle)

    Fall asleep to a deep, soothing voice reading the most inconsequential material imaginable. This is the ultimate sleep aid for racing minds, utilizing boring technical readings to help you achieve natural sleep and quiet insomnia. Fall asleep to a deconstruction of the ANSI/MH1-2016, the definitive engineering directive for the North American wood shipping pallet. This episode audits the rigid architectural requirements of the stringer-class platform, from the specific moisture thresholds of kiln-dried Group 4 hardwoods to the precise withdrawal resistance of the helical-thread drive screw. Relax as we process the load-bearing thresholds of the GMA footprint and the mechanical necessity of the four-way entry notch. Sleep secure in the knowledge that every deck-board gap, wood-grain slope, and fastener-bite has been measured and deemed acceptable for the highest standards of global logistics integration. Deeply Unimportant is a sleep podcast designed for those who need structure to drift off. By focusing on meticulous, non-narrative detail, we provide a form of cognitive shuffle for ADHD and anxiety—anchoring the mind with the professional broadcast gravitas of a former newscaster so you can stop racing thoughts at night. No whispers or fairy tales; just ordered, structured, monotone voice sleep support. This version of the show is ad-supported: ads play at the beginning of the episode, but nowhere else as you drift off. Access a full archive of ad-free sleep episodes (including long versions that run all night, and infinite loops) for a few dollars a month. Visit http://deeplyunimportant.com to subscribe or gift a membership to a fellow over-thinker.

    46 min

  7. MAR 15 ·  BONUS • SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

    The ANSI/MH1-2016 Pallet Standard - Loopable

    Fall asleep to a deconstruction of the ANSI/MH1-2016, the definitive engineering directive for the North American wood shipping pallet. This episode audits the rigid architectural requirements of the stringer-class platform, from the specific moisture thresholds of kiln-dried Group 4 hardwoods to the precise withdrawal resistance of the helical-thread drive screw. Relax as we process the load-bearing thresholds of the GMA footprint and the mechanical necessity of the four-way entry notch. Sleep secure in the knowledge that every deck-board gap, wood-grain slope, and fastener-bite has been measured and deemed acceptable for the highest standards of global logistics integration.

    20 min
  8. Sleep Meditation: Beechcraft Starship Preflight Checklist

    MAR 8

    Sleep Meditation: Beechcraft Starship Preflight Checklist

    Fall asleep to a deep, soothing voice reading inconsequential material. This is the ultimate sleep aid for racing minds, utilizing boring technical readings to help you achieve natural sleep and quiet insomnia. The real world Beechcraft Starship (Model 2000) aircraft was a marvel of composite engineering and "ahead of its time" aviation technology. This episode processes the exhaustive preflight inspection checklist from the Pilot's Operating Handbook (POH) for airframe NC-53, from the carbon-fiber-reinforced Nomex honeycomb fuselage to the variable-sweep canards and PT6A-67A pusher engines. Relax as we audit the meticulous tolerances of external skin condition, the security of the ventral fin, and the precise mechanical alignment of the integrated avionics sensors. Sleep secure in the knowledge that every torque, fluid level, and safety-wire inspection has been reviewed against the 1998 reissued POH. This is technical monotone at its most structured, providing a powerful anchor for insomnia and racing thoughts. Deeply Unimportant is a sleep podcast designed for those who need structure to drift off. By focusing on meticulous, non-narrative detail, we provide a form of cognitive shuffle for ADHD and anxiety—anchoring the mind with the professional broadcast gravitas of a former newscaster so you can stop racing thoughts at night. No whispers or fairy tales; just ordered, structured, monotone voice sleep support. This version of the show is ad-supported: ads play at the beginning of the episode, but nowhere else as you drift off. Access a full archive of ad-free sleep episodes (including long versions that run all night, and infinite loops) for a few dollars a month. Visit https://deeplyunimportant.com to subscribe or gift a membership to a fellow over-thinker. Fans of the Beechcraft Starship should note Deeply Unimportant host Dallas Kachan is the author and audiobook narrator of The Starship Diaries, a novel about a round-the-world flight in this futuristic aircraft.

    53 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Can't turn your brain off to sleep? If you're an over-thinker with racing thoughts at night, or living with adult ADHD or OCD mental looping, traditional bedtime stories for adults are often too engaging—and meditation is too quiet. You don't need a narrative; you need a cognitive shunt. Deeply Unimportant is the premier non-pharmacological insomnia relief tool. We utilize the Cognitive Shuffling protocol (also known as Serial Diverse Imagining or SDI), a research-based method developed by research expert Luc Beaudoin to neutralize the racing thoughts that trigger executive dysfunction at night. By replacing intrusive thoughts with rhythmic, technical data read by a real life former news anchor—from NASA specifications to administrative codes—we provide a therapeutic ASMR experience that facilitates a natural transition into deep sleep. It's the ultimate non-pharmaceutical sleep alternative for those seeking CBT-I sleep techniques at home. Why this is the ultimate sleep aid: - The Cognitive Shuffle Method: A specialized sleep shunting process that scrambles mental loops. - Therapeutic ASMR: A flat affect, professional delivery designed to calm the nervous system without the distractions of "Nothing Much Happens"-style storytelling. - Executive & ADHD Support: Specifically engineered for high-functioning minds that struggle with "brain-burn" and the inability to shut down. Join thousands of listeners who have traded adult sleep stories for the clinical efficacy of the Deeply Unimportant. Stop searching for a sleepytime podcast and start using a protocol that works.

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