Be, Do, Have: Are You Wanting It, or Are You Becoming Her? "I want to own my own business" and "I am an entrepreneur" describe the same dream, but they feel completely different in your body, and your brain treats them differently too. In this episode of The Resurrection Room, Kelli Shaw breaks down the Be, Do, Have principle and shows why so many accomplished women have been building their lives in the reverse order, waiting to have the money, the time, or the clients before they give themselves permission to become the woman who has them. Kelli walks through what your brain does every time you say "I want," why your self-concept works as a prediction your behavior follows, and what research on identity-based motivation reveals about why some women keep going after a rejection while others decide the dream was never for them. Then she takes you into Judges 6, where God calls Gideon a mighty warrior while he is hiding in a winepress, and shows how God has always spoken identity first. In this episode: Why Have, Do, Be keeps the life you want permanently out in front of you The difference you can feel in your body between "I want" and "I am" How your brain's prediction engine and reticular activating system respond to identity statements Christopher Bryan's research on "voting" versus "being a voter," and Daphna Oyserman's work on identity-based motivation The porch and the house: the difference between wanting a life and living inside it The new nurse analogy, and why the identity comes before the evidence Two women, one Saturday morning, and how identity shapes what we do with the same two hours Gideon, called a mighty warrior while he was hiding, and the God who calls into being things that were not Four mistakes that keep women stuck in wanting, including how to use a bridge statement when "I am" feels too far away The Seven-Day Be, Do, Have Practice Mentioned in this episode: Lisa Feldman Barrett, research on the predictive brain Christopher Bryan and colleagues, Stanford research on noun-based identity wording and voter turnout Daphna Oyserman, identity-based motivation Judges 6:12 (NIV): "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.'" Romans 4:17 (NIV): "the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not." This week's practice: The Seven-Day Be, Do, Have Practice Day 1: Write one thing you have been wanting as an "I want" statement, then rewrite it as an "I am" statement. If it feels too far away, use a bridge statement that begins "I am a woman who..." Day 2: List five small, specific things the woman in your "I am" statement does regularly. Days 3 to 7: Speak your "I am" statement out loud each morning, complete one action from your list each day, and each evening write one sentence of evidence: "Today I lived as [your identity] when I [what you did]." All week: Catch every "I want," "someday," and "once I have," and restate it from your new identity. The Resurrection Room framework: Your identity shapes your perception, your perception dictates your behavior, your behavior drives your actions, and your actions produce your outcomes. Join The Resurrection Room Facebook community, where women doing their own identity work share what they are learning and put these conversations into practice: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588999984832 Join the email list for deeper identity work, reflections, and resources between episodes: https://kelli-shaw.kit.com/32980db5e9 If this episode helped you, share it with the woman who has been saying "someday" for as long as you have known her, and leave a rating and review so The Resurrection Room can reach more women who are ready to rise. The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw, where you rise to who you were always meant to be so you can live the life you were always meant to live.
