The New School Of Motherhood Podcast

Mandy Cai
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  • Parenting

Most conversations about motherhood are about managing it. This one isn't. The New School of Motherhood is for the woman who senses there is a deeper conversation to be had. One that begins with her. Who she is becoming. What she is carrying. What becomes possible when she moves through this initiation with intention rather than just endurance. Motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. Continue the deeper conversation on https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/

  1. Jul 27

    Learning to Listen to Your Body in Motherhood Part 2 with Vaness Henry

    What if your child doesn't need fixing, only understanding? As parents, it's easy to find ourselves asking, "How do I get my child to behave?" But what if the better question is, "What is my child trying to show me?" In part 2 of my conversation with Human Design Variables teacher Vaness Henry, we explore how children naturally process food, emotions, environments, and experiences differently—and what changes when we stop expecting one approach to work for every child. What begins as a conversation about Human Design quickly becomes something much deeper. We explore what it means to listen to our children without trying to change them, how our children's behaviours often reveal where we are disconnected from ourselves, and why the way we care for our own nervous system shapes the way we parent. If you've ever wondered whether your child is "too sensitive," "too stubborn," or simply hard to understand, this episode offers a different perspective. Not one that asks you to fix their behaviour, but one that helps you understand what might be underneath it. Key Insights: Why there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parentingHow Human Design Variables can help you understand your child's natural needsThe difference between correcting behaviour and responding to what's actually happening beneath itWhat our children's emotions can reveal about our own patternsWhy caring for yourself isn't separate from caring for your child My hope is that you'll leave this conversation feeling less pressure to get parenting "right," and more confidence in your ability to understand yourself, understand your child, and trust what you're already noticing. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠ About our guest: Vaness Henry is a journalist, shamanic practitioner, and Human Design Variables guide who helps people listen to their bodies and understand the patterns shaping their health and lives. A cancer survivor, her work is rooted in lived experience and a grounded, intuitive approach to healing and transformation. Youtube Vanesshenry.com thehumandesignvariables.com About your host: ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

  2. Jul 20

    Learning to Listen to Your Body in Motherhood with Vaness Henry

    So much of motherhood asks us to make decisions for another person. But how do we know when we’re responding to our child—and when we’re reacting from our own fear, conditioning, or past? In this episode, I’m joined by Vaness Henry, a Human Design guide and mother, to explore what it means to listen more closely to ourselves and our children. We talk about Human Design as a tool for understanding difference: why the way you use energy, respond to your environment, or care for your body may not be the way your child does. Vaness also shares how childhood cancer shaped her relationship with health and taught her to pay attention when something in her body changes. For me, this conversation brought up something very practical about motherhood: how easily we can mistake our own experience for our child’s. My daughter has always run much hotter than I do. When she was younger, I would insist she wear another layer because I felt cold—and because I was afraid she would get sick. I believed I was protecting her. But I was also asking her to ignore what her own body was telling her so that I could feel less anxious. That distinction matters. Key insights Self-trust begins with noticing how your body communicates with youYour child may experience energy, comfort, and environment very differently from youFamily patterns can be passed down through behaviour and beliefs, not only biologyParenting with awareness means separating your child’s experience from your own fear If you often find yourself looking outside yourself for the right way to mother, this conversation offers another place to begin: recognizing what belongs to you, questioning your automatic reactions, and giving your child more room to stay connected to what they know about themselves. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed. About our guest: Vaness Henry is a journalist, shamanic practitioner, and Human Design Variables guide who helps people listen to their bodies and understand the patterns shaping their health and lives. A cancer survivor, her work is rooted in lived experience and a grounded, intuitive approach to healing and transformation. About your host: Mandy Cai⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠ ⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠ ⁠Connect on Instagram⁠ ⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书

  3. Jun 15

    The Breastfeeding Conversation I Wish I Had Before Birth with Katie James

    Breastfeeding is often treated as something that starts when your baby arrives. But what happens in birth, the support you receive afterward, and the beliefs you carry into motherhood all shape how that relationship begins. In this episode, I’m joined by midwife and lactation consultant Katie James to explore the connection between birth, breastfeeding, and the transition into motherhood. We talk about how interventions, separation after birth, skin-to-skin contact, and postpartum care can influence feeding in the early days. Katie shares why breastfeeding is more than nutrition. It is a relationship between mother and baby, built through responsiveness and connection. We also look at how formula marketing, social media, and pressure to recover quickly can leave women doubting themselves when feeding doesn’t unfold as expected. Birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum are deeply interconnected. When we miss that, many women blame their bodies. Often what was missing was support, information, and the conditions needed for breastfeeding to establish. Key insights Birth and breastfeeding are linked physically, hormonally, and emotionallySkin-to-skin and postpartum support shape early feedingBreastfeeding is a relationship, not just milkChallenges are often circumstantial, not personal failurePartners matter because feeding is part of becoming a family Let this episode offer perspective rather than pressure. Whatever your feeding journey has looked like, you deserve compassion, not self-blame. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠The Mother They Remember⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed. About our guest: Katie James is a midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, andcreator of The Midwives’ Cauldron and The Latch Revolution podcasts. With 25years’ clinical experience, she is known for her warm, evidence-based approach tobreastfeeding and early feeding education. Join her breastfeeding online course: https://www.katiejames.site/ Follow her on Instagram @katiejameslactation Listen to The Latch Revolution Podcast: https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/ About your host: Mandy Cai⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠ ⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠ ⁠Connect on Instagram⁠ ⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书

  4. Jun 2

    Becoming The Mother They Remember

    What does it actually take to become a great mother, not in performance, but in presence? In this episode, I share a personal story of early separation, and why so many of us enter motherhood led by fear and “trying not to get it wrong”. We explore what changes when you get clear on who you want to become, and you start making choices from trust instead. We talk about: my experience of being sent to a boarding preschool from age 2.5 to 7, and the imprint of separationwhy knowing what you do not want is not the same as knowing what you wanthow fear-based clarity creates pressure, and trust-based clarity creates choicethe real legacy your children remember: how they felt around you, not what you bought or achievedwhy becoming a great mother requires honesty, tradeoffs, and inner growth (not perfection) ⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠ About your host: ⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书

  5. May 18

    How to Stay Connected as Your Children Grow with Orna Sharon

    So much of early motherhood can feel like second-guessing yourself. Am I responding the right way? Am I being too soft? Too harsh? Am I creating the kind of relationship I want with my child?But beneath all of those questions is something deeper; learning how to become a safe place for your children while still staying connected to yourself. In this episode, I’m joined by Orna Sharon, a mother of three adult children, to talk about what motherhood looks like over the long term. We explore how trust is built slowly through everyday interactions, why honesty matters in parent-child relationships, and what it actually means to be emotionally safe for your children without abandoning boundaries or authority. Orna speaks candidly about raising children through different stages of life, navigating divorce, balancing work and motherhood in ways that felt right for her, and learning over time, when her children needed guidance and when they simply needed her to listen. One topic we return to throughout this conversation is how much the small moments matter. How you respond when your child spills something or makes a mistake. Whether they feel safe telling you the truth. Whether repair is possible after conflict. Whether your love still feels available when boundaries are necessary. These moments shape the relationship your child learns they can have with you. Not only when life feels easy, but when they are struggling, ashamed, overwhelmed, or unsure. Key insights Your child does not need perfection to feel secureEmotional safety and boundaries can exist togetherHonesty builds trust over timeMotherhood changes as your children grow, but your presence still mattersThere is no single right way to navigate work, family, and selfhood This conversation reminds you that motherhood is built in repetition, not perfection. In the way you respond. In the way you repair. And in the way your child learns they can keep coming back to you. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ About our guest: Orna Sharon is the mother of three adult children (ages 21–30), to whom she devoted most of her time as a caregiver. Currently based in New York City, she previously worked as a growth consultant and angel investor, with a background in international business and finance. Follow her on Linkedin About your host: ⁠About your host: ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠ This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

  6. May 4

    The Power of Perspective: Lessons from Zarina Lam Stanford

    Balancing career and motherhood can feel like you’re always behind in one or the other. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because the idea of “balance” often doesn’t hold in early motherhood. In this episode, we look more closely at what balance actually looks like when you’re raising a child and working. Zarina shares her experience of returning to work five weeks after birth, and the beliefs that informed that decision. Zarina and I explore how our relationship with our own mothers shapes how we approach work, responsibility, and motherhood, often without us realizing. We talk about the pressure to be present at home and committed at work, and what happens when those expectations sit side by side. And we look at the reality that balance isn’t something you achieve in a day, it shifts across seasons, depending on what your life is asking of you. If you’ve felt split between your work and your child. If you’ve questioned whether you’re doing enough in either place. Or if making decisions about work feels heavier than it used to, this isn’t just about managing your time better. It’s about the expectations you’re holding, where they came from, and whether they still make sense for the life you’re in now. Because when those expectations go unquestioned, it can feel like you’re constantly choosing one part of yourself at the expense of another. Key insights Balance doesn’t happen within a day—it changes across seasonsYour approach to work is often shaped by what you saw growing upGuilt can come from trying to meet two competing standards at onceWhat worked before motherhood may not work in the same way nowDefining success for yourself changes the decisions you make ⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠ About our guest: A global citizen, an avid traveler, a proud daughter and mom, Zarina Lam Stanford is a recognized growth catalyst and a strategic advisor and investor for technology-based start-up and steady-state businesses in the US, Asia, and UK.  Zarina is passionate about design thinking, compelling storytelling, agile leadership, inclusion, and being purpose driven.   Follow Zarina on Linkedin About your host: About your host: ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠ This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

  7. Apr 21

    Unconditional Love: What It Is and How To Give It

    Unconditional love is something many of us want to give our children. And yet, in the moments that test us most, it can feel hard to access. In this episode, I explore unconditional love through the lens of wholeness: how the conditioning we experience in childhood can disconnect us from ourselves, and why practicing unconditional love toward ourselves is what makes it possible to offer something steadier and healthier to our children. We talk about: what unconditional love is (and what it isn’t)how conditioning shapes our sense of being loved, accepted, and safewhy wholeness includes the full spectrum of emotions, not just the “positive” oneshow our discomfort with big feelings can show up as fixing, rushing, or controlwhy martyrdom and sacrifice can look like love, but still be conditional ⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠  About your host  ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

    Unconditional Love: What It Is and How To Give It

  8. Apr 6

    Growing Together: Embracing Interconnectedness in Family Life with Jason Seeman

    I’m back with my co-host Jason Seeman! In this conversation we delve into the profound shifts in family dynamics and the dismantling of the myth of 50-50 sharing. I share a personal moment about how I struggled with the idea of giving up my financial independence and learned to embrace the interconnectedness with my partner. Jason shares a touching moment about how he navigated the early days of fatherhood during the COVID lockdowns. He describes the unique experience of working from home while wearing his baby, which allowed him to be present for his child's early milestones. This experience highlighted the importance of flexibility and adaptability in parenting, reinforcing the theme of interconnectedness within the family. In this episode: Challenging the 50-50 mindset: moving towards interdependence rather than equalityViewing family as an ecosystem: natural metaphors for adaptation and growthCultural influences on parenthood, collectivism vs. individualismThe importance of establishing systems and routines for family well-beingNavigating postpartum with a focus on support, vulnerability, and shared caregivingPractical tools: the Fair Play method and values-based decision-makingThe significance of asking for help and communicating needs openlyReconciling personal values with family roles and responsibilitiesEmbracing change and staying adaptable in family relationships Together, we discuss how interconnectedness, flexibility, and shared values can transform parenthood into a more harmonious experience. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  About your hosts: Jason Seeman is a fatherhood guide, educator, and facilitator with over a decade of experience creating and facilitating education programs that have impacted over one million people globally. Raising Fathers is raising a new generation of grounded, connected, and present fathers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow @raising_fathers on instagram here⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Head to the website⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apply for the True North Fatherhood Prep program⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠ This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

    Growing Together: Embracing Interconnectedness in Family Life with Jason Seeman
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Most conversations about motherhood are about managing it. This one isn't. The New School of Motherhood is for the woman who senses there is a deeper conversation to be had. One that begins with her. Who she is becoming. What she is carrying. What becomes possible when she moves through this initiation with intention rather than just endurance. Motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. Continue the deeper conversation on https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/

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