Ralph Kellogg is Chief Human Resources Officer at Lutheran Family Services, TEDx speaker, and author of Leading While Human: Notes I Wish Someone Had Given Me. He brings 20+ years of executive leadership experience and publicly disclosed his anxiety disorder and panic disorder diagnosis in his 2022 TED talk. In this episode, Ralph Kellogg introduces the ACT model — Acknowledged, Compassionate Accountability and Transparency — a framework he created during the pandemic to equip managers with a structured approach to mental health conversations. For people leaders at 100–1,500 employee companies, this episode addresses a critical scaleup challenge: informal manager-employee relationships that worked at 50 people break down as headcount grows. Ralph Kellogg explains how to train managers to build trust before crisis moments, how to avoid the stigma trap of pulling assignments away, and why curiosity — not fixing — is the leadership discipline that scales. He also shares the operational case for relationship-building: Gallup data shows 70% of people leave organizations because of their relationship with their manager, and replacing a high performer costs more than investing in the manager's relational capacity. Challenges Addressed Managers don't know how to start mental health conversations without triggering defensiveness or stigma: Ralph Kellogg explains that the relationship must be built before the crisis moment — if the only interactions are corrective feedback, the employee will assume judgment. He outlines the ACT model (Acknowledged, Compassionate Accountability and Transparency) as a repeatable framework managers can use to check in, offer support, and follow up without making it transactional. Scaleup leaders claim they don't have time for relationship-building with their teams: Ralph Kellogg's response: "Do you have time to replace that person?" He recommends bringing in someone — an internal hire or external consultant — who is skilled at connecting with the team, so the founder or technical leader can focus on what they do best while the team still gets relational support. HR doesn't know how to train managers on mental health at scale without turning it into compliance theater: Ralph Kellogg argues that HR's job is to build trust with managers first, then equip managers to build trust with their teams. Relationships start on day one of onboarding, not in the moment of crisis. Training should focus on small, consistent behaviors — checking in, following up on commitments, staying curious — not one-time workshops. Actionable Takeaways Use the ACT model for mental health check-ins: Ralph Kellogg's framework is Acknowledged, Compassionate Accountability and Transparency. When a manager observes a change in an employee's behavior, they should frame the conversation with concern ("I see this — are you okay?"), ask how they can support rather than immediately pulling assignments away, and follow up in one to two weeks to show the conversation wasn't transactional. Build the relationship before the crisis: Ralph Kellogg emphasizes that managers must have consistent, low-stakes interactions with employees starting on day one. If the first real conversation happens during a performance issue or mental health crisis, the employee will become defensive. Trust is built through small moments — not grand gestures. Stay curious when a star employee suddenly struggles: Ralph Kellogg advises managers to resist the urge to fix or assume they know the problem. Instead, ask questions, stay open to the messiness, and recognize that high performers are multidimensional people — the traits that made them great are still there, even when something is temporarily off. Questions This Episode Answers How do I train managers to have mental health conversations without making employees feel judged? Ralph Kellogg explains that the relationship must exist before the conversation. Managers should use the ACT model (Acknowledged, Compassionate Accountability and Transparency), frame the conversation with concern rather than correction, and avoid pulling assignments away — which signals loss of confidence. Follow up in one to two weeks to show it's not a one-and-done transaction. What do I do if my startup founders say they don't have time for relationship-building with their team? Ralph Kellogg's answer: "Do you have time to replace that person?" He recommends bringing in someone — internally or as a consultant — who has the relational capacity to connect with the team. That way, founders can focus on their strengths while the team still receives support. Gallup research shows 70% of people leave because of their relationship with their manager, so investing in relational capacity is cheaper than constant turnover. How can HR scale mental health support as we grow from 100 to 500 employees? Ralph Kellogg says HR's role is to build trust with managers first, then train managers to build trust with their teams. Relationships don't start in crisis moments — they start on day one of onboarding. HR should teach managers small, repeatable behaviors: check-ins, follow-ups, staying curious in conflict, and recognizing that not every high performer wants to climb the ladder. Links & Resources Mentioned: Connect with Ralph Kellogg on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ralphkellogg Website: https://ralphkellogg.com/
