Chat with Charlie on Mum Matters

Charlie
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  • Parenting

Honest conversations for mums who want to feel confident, less overwhelmed & seen. Join Charlie, mum of 5, as she shares real support for the early days of motherhood and beyond. For further on going support join our Mum Matters Community at https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages

  1. 5d ago

    I Don't Want the Old Me Back | Finding Your Identity as a Mom (The Identity Audit)

    Send us Fan Mail For years, when someone asked me what I enjoyed, I talked about a woman who hadn't existed for over a decade. Acting on stage and TV. Professional hip-hop dancing. All things I USED to do, before kids.   In this episode I share the moment I realised I was holding onto an old version of myself, why trying to "get her back" kept making me feel worse, and the simple Identity Audit that helped me work out who I'm becoming instead. There's a small exercise at the end you can do tonight.   In this episode: * The simple question I couldn't answer as a mom of 5 * Why trying to get the old you back can leave you feeling worse * 3 truths that changed everything: you're not lost, you're evolving; the old you is the ingredients; and you get to CHOOSE who you're becoming * The Identity Audit: the two-column exercise ("still fits" and "outgrown") you can do tonight with a notebook or your notes app * The small daily actions that helped me feel like me again (a new me, one I actually like)   Ready to do this properly, step by step? I help you feel like yourself again in 5 weeks, even if right now you feel like you're drowning in motherhood. Module 1 of Back to Me walks you through the full Identity Audit, including the Identity Inventory worksheet, the letter to your pre-baby self and your "I am becoming" statements. [Link to Back to Me] - Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan   If this episode helped, you might also love: * "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore" — Reclaiming Your Identity as a Mom -https://www.buzzsprout.com/2572337/episodes/19354443 * "Even If I Had Time For Myself, I Wouldn't Know What To Do With It" - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2572337/episodes/19457703 * Why You Still Feel Lost After 3 Kids (And What to Do About It) - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2572337/episodes/19389804   Find me on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube: @itscharliedadia   If this landed for you, please follow the show and leave a quick review. And if a friend has been saying "I don't know who I am anymore," send this episode to her. It might be exactly what she needs to hear today Support the show

  2. Oct 25

    Parenting Teenagers: Let Go of Control, Keep the Connection (with Nicki Cohen)

    Send us Fan Mail One summer they’re in Year 6 doing the school show, and the next they’re in secondary school, pulling away and wanting to do everything on their own. Nobody prepares us for that part. Therapist Nicki Cohen is back! Nicki works with teenagers, was the mental health lead at a large secondary school, and is a mom to three boys aged 13, 16 and 19. Last week I talked about how we become a mom over and over again as our kids grow. This week Nicki shows us what that looks like in the teenage years, and how to stay close to your teen when they don’t need you in the same way anymore. In this episode: Why pulling away from parents is a normal, healthy part of adolescence, even when it hurtsWhy your job as a parent doesn’t get less important, it just gets a new job descriptionWhy Nicki thinks 16 to 18 might be the hardest age to parentSmall language swaps that stop your teen’s back going upMoving from the driver’s seat to the passenger seatHow Nicki handled her 16-year-old going to Reading Festival without doing everything for himSide-by-side communication: why the best conversations happen in the carGetting into your teen’s world by being curious, even if you know nothing about football or rapOne-to-one time, and why the quiet ones can get lost in bigger familiesWhat to do when you can see something’s wrong but they won’t talk to youWhy letting go can feel like grief, and how two things can be true at onceNicki’s 3 questions to ask before you step in Can they do this alone?Can they do it with me alongside them?Or is this something I genuinely need to take control of?Theirs, ours, mine When your teen falls out with a friend, for example: Theirs: deciding what to do and whether to repair the friendshipOurs: listening, empathising, and sharing our own experienceMine: managing the urge to pick up the phone to the other child’s mom!Language swaps to try “What did you do?” → “What’s happened? Do you want to tell me?”“You need to do this.” → “What do you think you’re going to do about it?”“I told you so.” → “That sounds really hard. What do you need?”“It’s not about letting go of them. It’s about letting go of control while holding onto connection.” — Nicki Cohen Episodes mentioned Last week: Motherhood Isn’t One Change: How I’ve Grown With My Kids at Every Age 👉 BuzzsproutNicki’s first episode: The Mental Load: What It Really Is & How to Manage It 👉 BuzzsproutConnect with Nicki Nicki is a therapist offering counselling for teenagers and adults, as well as sessions for parents to help them better communicate with their teens. She also provides consultancy to charities and organisations on anything mental health related.  Website: www.nickicohencounselling.co.uk 💛 Back to Me As Nicki says, when the kids need us less there’s often a “so, what now?” moment for us too. Back to Me helps you get to know who you are now, in whatever season you’re in, whether your youngest is 6 months or 16 years old. 👉 Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Free guide: 7 Signs You’re Drowning in Motherhood 👉 Charlie Dadia (@itscharliedadia) | Stan If this episode helped, please share it with a mom who’s in the teenage years or heading towards them. Come and say hi: @itscharliedadia on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube  Charlie Dadia (@itscharliedadia) | Stan A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

  3. Oct 18

    Motherhood Isn't One Change: How I've Grown With My Kids at Every Age

    Send us Fan Mail We talk about becoming a mom like it happens once, the day your first baby arrives. But I’ve found that every new age and stage changes you all over again. I’ve been becoming a mom over and over for 12 years. In this episode I share who I was when I first became a mom and who I am now, what each phase has asked of me, how looking back at my own childhood helps me understand my kids, and why I didn’t enjoy every part of it (and why that’s okay). In this episode: Why becoming a mom isn’t one moment but something that keeps happeningWhat the baby and toddler years, starting school, the friendship years and the pre-teen years have each asked of meWhy the newborn phase feels never-ending the first time, and calmer once you know it’s a seasonLearning to listen instead of rushing to fix thingsWhat I’ve noticed as my eldest steps into the teenage years: more privacy, more independence, and more grown-up conversationsHow my own first day of high school shaped the way I talked to my son about his3 simple questions to help you understand your child at any ageWhy you can love your children with your whole heart and still find some phases really hardWhy feeling lost again in a new phase isn’t you going backwardsTry this week: 3 questions to ask yourself What was I like at my child’s age?What did I need back then from the grown-ups around me?Can I give my child some of that now?I’d love to hear what came up for you, so come and tell me on Instagram @itscharliedadia. Coming up next week Therapist Nicki Cohen is back to talk about parenting teenagers. She’ll cover how our job as parents doesn’t get less important when our kids become teens, it just changes, and how to let go of some control while holding onto the connection. Nicki works with teenagers and adults, was a mental health lead at a large secondary school, and is a mom to three teenage boys herself. Episodes mentioned The Night I Became Someone’s Mum 👉 BuzzsproutThe Separation Anxiety Nobody Talks About 👉 BuzzsproutThe Mental Load: What It Really Is & How to Manage It (with Nicki Cohen) 👉 Buzzsprout💛 Back to Me Back to Me isn’t about going back to who you were before kids. It’s about getting to know who you are now, in the season you’re in. It works whether your youngest is 6 months or 16 years old. It includes the Identity Audit, which you can come back to every time a new phase changes you, and the Regression Rescue Guide for when you feel yourself slipping back into old patterns. 👉 Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Free guide: 7 Signs You’re Drowning in Motherhood 👉 Charlie Dadia (@itscharliedadia) | Stan Come and say hi: @itscharliedadia on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube Stay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

  4. Oct 11

    How to Leave an Abusive Relationship (and Rebuild Your Life as a Mom) with Hannah Wrixen

    Send us Fan Mail ⚠️ This episode talks about domestic abuse, coercive control and financial abuse. Please listen when you feel ready. If you are in danger right now, call 999. Hannah Wrixen is back on Chat with Charlie! Last time she joined us, Hannah, a mortgage broker and former mortgage underwriter, talked us through how new parents can get on the property ladder. This time she's sharing something much more personal: how she got out of a mentally and financially abusive relationship with a toddler, and rebuilt her life from scratch. Hannah met her ex at 19 and had her son Adam at 21. The control started small. "You don't need your own bank account, just use mine." "Why see your friend when you can have a coffee with me?" Slowly she lost her money, her friends and her family, while living in another country with no one around her. In this conversation, Hannah shares: How financial and emotional control can creep in so quietly you don't see it happeningThe moment a friend said out loud what Hannah couldn't yet admitHow she quietly saved money, and how she got herself and Adam on a plane homeGoing back to work, claiming benefits, and the help that's available now that wasn't thenGetting a court order so Adam could live with her, and how Cafcass and mediation workBeing skint, the friend who bought her lunch for weeks, and how that pushed her into a career in mortgagesBuying her own home as a single mom through shared ownershipTherapy, triggers, learning to trust again, and finding real loveWhy one chapter of your life doesn't define you, and why there is always a way out📘 My How To Handbook: Universal Credit and other benefits A step-by-step guide to applying for Universal Credit and checking which other benefits you might be entitled to. 👉 The ‘How to’ Handbook by @itscharliedadia | Stan If you need help right now In immediate danger: call 999. If you can't speak, call 999 from a mobile, stay silent and press 55 when prompted. This tells the operator you need help.National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge): 0808 2000 247, free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They also have live chat and can help you find refuge accommodation. nationaldahelpline.org.ukWomen's Aid: information, live chat and a survivors' forum. womensaid.org.ukMen's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327, for men experiencing domestic abuse. mensadviceline.org.ukAsk for ANI: in many pharmacies (including Boots and Superdrug), ask the pharmacist for "ANI" and they'll take you somewhere private and help you get support.Clare's Law: you can ask the police whether a partner has a history of abuse. Search "Clare's Law" on gov.uk.Financial abuse and money Surviving Economic Abuse: support and guides if someone is controlling your money, debt or access to your finances. survivingeconomicabuse.orgHelp with childcare costs: Universal Credit can pay back up to 85% of your childcare costs. If you're starting work and can't afford to pay childcare upfront, ask your work coach about help with upfront childcare costs. You don't have to pay this back. gov.uk/guidance/universal-credit-childcare-costsBenefits calculator: check what you might be entitled to at turn2us.org.uk or entitledto.co.ukChild Maintenance Service: if the other parent isn't paying towards your child. gov.uk/child-maintenance-serviceCustody, Cafcass and legal help Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service): Cafcass works with families going through the family court in England. Their website has guidance and a free parenting plan you can use to agree arrangements for your children. cafcass.gov.ukFamily mediation: find an accredited mediator through the Family Mediation Council (familymediationcouncil.org.uk). The government's Family Mediation Voucher Scheme can give up to £500 towards mediation about your children. Mediation isn't always safe or appropriate where there's domestic abuse, so please talk to the mediator or a solicitor about this first.Legal aid: if you've experienced domestic abuse, you may be able to get legal aid for family cases. Check at gov.uk/check-legal-aidRights of Women: free legal advice for women on family law and domestic abuse. rightsofwomen.org.ukMany family solicitors offer a free first consultation, like the one Hannah had, so it's worth asking.Emotional support and moving forward NHS Talking Therapies: you can refer yourself for free therapy, no GP needed. Search "NHS Talking Therapies" plus your area.Gingerbread: advice and community for single parents. gingerbread.org.ukShared ownership: the government scheme that helped Hannah buy her first home. ownyourhome.gov.uk💛 Staying safe online: if you're worried someone checks your phone or computer, use private/incognito browsing and clear your history after visiting these sites. Refuge has a tech safety guide at refugetechsafety.org. Connect with Hannah Email: hiwrixen@outlook.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannah_financial_coach/ Tik Tok: Hannah_financial_coach Listen to Hannah's first episode: How First Time Parents Can Get on the Property Ladder (Even When It Feels Impossible) 👉How First Time Parents can get on the Property Ladder (even when it feels impossible) with Financial Advisor | Hannah Wrixen If this episode helped you, please share it. You never know who might be quietly going through this and needs to hear Hannah's story. Come and say hi: @itscharliedadia on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube Charlie Dadia (@itscharliedadia) | Stan Sources: National Domestic Abuse Helpline – HestiaUniversal Credit childcare costs – GOV.UKUniversal Credit and childcare – GOV.UKFamily mediation voucher scheme extended – Family LawStay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

  5. Oct 4

    When a Stage of Motherhood Feels Like It Will Never End | How to Cope When You're Drowning as a Mom

    Send us Fan Mail Pacing the hallway at 3am with a baby who won't settle? On your fourth load of potty training washing before lunch? Sitting in the car after the school run with a lump in your throat?   When you're in the thick of a hard season, your brain tells you this is how life will be forever. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why these phases feel so all-consuming, why feeling like you're drowning in motherhood is far more common than anyone admits, and how to find your breath when a season feels like too much.   In this episode - Why hard phases feel permanent (and why you've already survived 100% of them) - The truth about drowning in motherhood, especially without a village - Why social media makes you think everyone else is coping better - 3 practical steps for when a season feels too much: lowering the baseline, staying in the next 15 minutes, and claiming your 10-minute anchor - A moment to look back at how far you've already come *Free guide:* Grab 7 Signs You're Drowning in Motherhood (And What Helps) you can get it on my website  https://stan.store/itscharliedadia    *Ready for more than survival mode?* I help you feel like yourself again in 5 weeks, even if right now you feel like you're drowning in motherhood. Back to Me is my 5-step system for reclaiming your identity, your time and your headspace. Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan    *In the potty training trenches?* My simple potty training course takes the stress out of it. Potty Train Like a Pro by @itscharliedadia | Stan   *If this episode helped, you might also love:* - Why Motherhood Feels So Hard (Even When You Love Your Kids) - Why "Just Ask for Help" Doesn't Work for Moms (And What Actually Does) - Self Care for Busy Moms: Small Habits That Make a Big Difference   If this landed for you, please follow the show and leave a quick review. It helps another mom who's drowning find her way here Stay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

  6. Sep 27

    Why You Don't Want Sex After Having a Baby (And What the Mental Load Has to Do With It) - With Becky Crepsley- Fox

    Send us Fan Mail If you've felt like the last thing you want after a long day of parenting is to be touched by your partner — even when you love them, even when nothing's wrong — this episode is for you. I'm joined by Becky, a sexologist and relationship psychotherapist, to talk about what actually happens to desire after having a baby, and why it's so much more about your nervous system and your mental load than it is about your relationship. About Becky: Sexologist, relationship psychotherapist, and tantra practitioner, with 10 years of experience as a yoga teacher before moving into this work. She sees individuals and couples for issues around sex, sexuality, and relationships, and has created a course specifically on rebuilding intimacy after having a baby.  Becky Crepsley-Fox COSRT, MCCP Website: https://www.beckycrepsleyfox.com Company: https://www.connectionclinic.co.uk Instagram: @becky_crepsley_fox Instagram Sex after Baby Course: https://www.beckycrepsleyfox.com/challenge-page/sex-after-baby?programId=029c8303-91e2-4d75-95ef-d4c9d3ad98d9 In this episode: Why "do you want them, or do you want to want them?" is the real starting questionSpontaneous vs. responsive desire — and why most women are responsive while media and porn only show spontaneous desireAccelerators and brakes: what actually needs to be in place before desire can show upWhy feeling "touched out" is a real safety mechanism, not something wrong with youThe nervous system, the mental load, and the "tiger" analogy — why you can't feel sexy while your body still thinks it's in dangerThe 5-minute breathing exercise that regulates your nervous system (and why it's the actual foundation for everything else)How to talk to your partner about the mental load without it turning into a fight"Simmering": the missing middle layer between being teammates and being sexual, and what it can look like in real lifeWhy temporarily taking sex off the table can bring you closer, not further apartMentioned in this episode: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski (the book Becky recommends for understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire)Becky's course on sex and intimacy after having a baby https://www.beckycrepsleyfox.com/challenge-page/sex-after-baby?programId=029c8303-91e2-4d75-95ef-d4c9d3ad98d9If this one hit home, you might also like: How to Talk to Your Partner About the Mental Load (Without Starting a Fight) — Aug 9The Mental Load: What It Really Is & How to Manage It (with Nicki Cohen) — Jul 26Keeping Love Alive After Baby (and Kids) — Mar 22The mental-load-and-intimacy connection Becky breaks down here is exactly the kind of thing we work through inside Back to Me — if navigating your identity and your relationships after kids is something you're ready to actually work on, that's where I'd point you. If someone in your life needs to hear this, please send it their way. And thank you, as always, for listening.   Stay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday!   Support the show

  7. Sep 20

    Why you keep starting over every Monday (and how to make it stick)

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Charlie breaks down why the all-or-nothing rebound keeps burning you out, why rigid routines fail in busy family homes, and the single mindset shift that changed everything for me: learning to lower your floor instead of your ceiling. Stay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

  8. Sep 13

    The Separation Anxiety Nobody Talks About

    Send us Fan Mail If you are sitting in your car outside the nursery or school gates with tears streaming down your face, take a deep breath.    We spend so much time preparing our children for separation anxiety, but nobody prepares you for the sheer heartbreak of your own. Handing over your baby to someone else never gets easier on your heart, no matter how many times you do it.    In this episode, I share the honest truth about drop-off heartbreak, what actually happens the second you drive away, and why your clingy toddler might just shock you. Plus, a funny story about why my husband is actually weaker at drop-offs than I am! Stay connected with Charlie Website: https://stan.store/itscharliedadia (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood) (formerly charliesparentingpages)  Back to Me — My Signature 5-week Programme for moms ready to feel like themselves again. Learn more Back to Me! by @itscharliedadia | Stan Instagram : Instagram (formerly @charliesparentingpages) YouTube:  Charlie Dadia | Mom Support - YouTube A new episode is released every Sunday! Support the show

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Honest conversations for mums who want to feel confident, less overwhelmed & seen. Join Charlie, mum of 5, as she shares real support for the early days of motherhood and beyond. For further on going support join our Mum Matters Community at https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages

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