Okay, So Here’s The Deal

Marilee Grace
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Okay, So Here’s the Deal is a divorce recovery podcast for women who are done playing small after toxic or high-conflict marriages. Hosted by Amazon Best Selling author Marilee Grace, the show dives into healing after divorce, narcissistic relationships, identity shifts, self-love, and rebuilding life with clarity and confidence. We talk growth, grief, joy, boundaries, self-care, and reinvention—without sugarcoating it. If you’re navigating divorce, recovering from a toxic relationship, or ready to rewrite your story and rise unapologetically, this space is for you. We’ll laugh, cry, and grow together. Buckle up, beautiful—it’s time to rise.

  1. 5d ago ·  Video

    When Your Ex Turns People Against You: Triangulation, Flying Monkeys & Smear Campaigns

    Have you ever discovered that people were talking about you, taking sides, or believing a version of your story that you never got the chance to tell? If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “How did I suddenly become the bad guy?”—this episode of Okay, So Here’s the Deal is for you. Welcome to Narcissism 101: Lesson 7, where Marilee Grace breaks down two powerful manipulation tactics: triangulation and smear campaigns, along with the role of “flying monkeys” who may become involved along the way. Triangulation is a divide-and-conquer tactic that brings a third person into a conflict to create division, stir up jealousy, spread gossip, force people to take sides, or help the manipulator maintain control. Then there’s the smear campaign—the deliberate use of rumors, lies, half-truths, and distorted information to damage your reputation and influence how other people see you. And sometimes, other people get pulled into the story to do the manipulator’s dirty work. These people are commonly referred to as flying monkeys.

  2. Oct 2 ·  Video

    First They Confuse You. Then They Ignore You. Then They Come Back.

    Have you ever had a conversation that started with one simple question… and somehow ended with you defending yourself for things you didn't even know you were accused of? Or maybe they stopped talking to you completely, leaving you wondering what you did wrong. And just when you finally started pulling yourself back together… suddenly they're back. An apology. A gift. A declaration of love. A made-up emergency. Or a casual little, “I saw something that reminded me of you.” Welcome to Narcissism 101, Lesson 6 of Okay, So Here's the Deal. This week, Marilee Grace breaks down three more terms that can help you understand the behaviors you may have experienced in a high-conflict personality relationship: word salad, the silent treatment, and hoovering. These three tactics may look completely different on the surface, but they can all create the same result: confusion, self-doubt, insecurity, and a loss of emotional control. First, there's word salad—the exhausting cycle of circular conversations, topic shifting, blame shifting, irrelevant accusations, and so many words that you eventually give up simply because you're mentally exhausted. Marilee introduces the acronym DARVO—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—and walks you through an example so you can recognize what word salad can actually sound like in real life. Then comes the silent treatment. Not every quiet moment is abusive. But when silence is deliberately used as punishment, control, or a way to make you chase after someone and apologize for something you didn't do, it becomes another tool in the cycle. And then there's hoovering. Just when you have started creating distance, they may suddenly reappear with affection, apologies, promises to change, gifts, dramatic declarations, a crisis, or a seemingly innocent message designed to see whether you'll respond.

  3. Sep 26 ·  Video

    Micromanipulation and Projection: The Hidden Tactics That Keep You Off Balance

    When you've spent weeks, months, or years being told that your feelings are wrong, your reactions are the problem, or someone else's behavior is somehow your fault, trusting yourself again can feel very strange. Start small. Notice the pattern. Notice how you feel. Trust your gut. Set the boundary. And don't take the bait. Remember our Narcissism 101 mantra: We don't diagnose. We educate ourselves. We identify patterns. We learn what happened. And then we learn what to do next. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to have your feelings respected. And you don't have to keep explaining yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. Buckle up, gorgeous. We're learning the language so we can recognize the patterns—and learn how to stop participating in them. You are not meant to do this alone. Together, we continue to rise.

  4. Sep 18 ·  Video

    Gaslighting and Breadcrumbing Explained: Recognizing Toxic Relationship Patterns

    Gaslighting? Breadcrumbing? In a high-conflict relationship, breadcrumbs aren't something you crunch on your chicken strips—and gaslights aren't an old-fashioned way to light a room! So what are they? Welcome back to Narcissism 101, Lesson 4 of Okay, So Here’s the Deal, where Marilee Grace breaks down two terms you may have heard all over social media but may not fully understand: gaslighting and breadcrumbing. This series isn't about diagnosing your ex or throwing around labels. It's about giving you language for the behaviors you experienced so they become less confusing—and so you can learn what happened and what to do next. In this episode, Marilee explains how gaslighting can cause you to question your own memory, perception, judgment, and even your sanity. She shares a powerful real-life example of a woman who was so certain she remembered an important family event that she began wondering if she had actually imagined it—until she found the program and tickets that proved she was right. It wasn't her. She wasn't going crazy. Marilee also explains breadcrumbing: the pattern of giving someone just enough attention, affection, and hope to keep them emotionally invested, followed by criticism, distance, or rejection. That push-pull cycle can create confusion, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and a powerful craving for the next bit of attention. In this episode, you'll learn: What gaslighting actually means How gaslighting causes you to doubt your memory and perception The common tactics used in gaslighting, including denial, trivializing, and blame shifting Why documenting facts can help you reconnect with your own sense of reality What breadcrumbing looks like in a relationship or marriage How the pull-in/push-away pattern creates false hope Why intermittent reinforcement can make the cycle so difficult to break How gaslighting fits into the trauma bond cycle Why breadcrumbing is especially common in modern dating and dating apps Grounding and self-regulation techniques you can use when these patterns trigger a strong emotional response Why practicing your regulation tools now helps you use them when you really need them And remember: Not every behavior is gaslighting. Learning these terms isn't about labeling every difficult person or every disagreement. It's about recognizing patterns accurately so you can understand your own experience. Our Narcissism 101 mantra remains: We don't diagnose. We educate ourselves. We identify patterns. We learn what happened. And then we learn what to do next.

  5. Sep 11 ·  Video

    You Didn’t Miss the Red Flags… They Weren’t There Yet

    The person you fell in love with may have shown you exactly what you wanted to see. The intensity felt like connection. The attention felt like love. The future planning felt like security. And then things changed. Understanding the pattern isn't about blaming yourself. It’s about educating yourself so you can recognize the pattern if it ever appears again. Remember our Narcissism 101 mantra: We don’t diagnose. We educate ourselves. We identify patterns. We learn what happened. And then we learn what to do next. This episode covers some heavy ground, so give yourself permission to pause. Breathe. Haven. Tap. Get outside. Journal. Do whatever helps you return to a grounded, regulated place. You can do hard things. And you don't have to do them alone. Buckle up, gorgeous. We’re learning what happened so we can learn what to do next. Together, we continue to rise.

  6. May 26

    Rediscovering Joy After Divorce: From Glimmers to Your Glow Up Era

    What if you truly believed you would never feel joy again? In this deeply personal episode of Okay, So Here’s the Deal, Marilee Grace shares the moment she told her own mother that joy was no longer possible in her life—and the powerful journey of what it actually took to rediscover it after divorce. Because here’s the truth: Joy doesn’t just magically return. It has to be rebuilt—intentionally, gently, and over time. In this episode, we explore the difference between happiness and joy, and how even in your darkest seasons, there may still be a small, protected sliver of joy waiting to be nurtured back to life. You’ll learn: Why joy doesn’t automatically return after divorce  The difference between happiness (an emotion) and joy (a state of being)  What “glimmers” are and how they help regulate your nervous system  How small, everyday moments can begin restoring your sense of peace  What it means to reconnect with your authentic self  How glimmers grow into your inner sparkle—and eventually your glow up  This episode is your reminder that healing doesn’t happen all at once. It starts small. Quiet. Almost unnoticeable. But those small moments? They can bring you all the way back to yourself. A worksheet is included to help you begin noticing your own glimmers and rebuilding joy—one moment at a time. Get it here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dkEa8GxJCuEgdNHzBwQv9df45fYKEQUV/view?usp=drive_link Buckle up, gorgeous. Your joy isn’t gone… it’s waiting.

  7. May 15

    Dating After Divorce, Dating Apps & The Truth No One Talks About

    Have you ever downloaded a dating app… and immediately felt buyer’s remorse? 😅 In this episode of Here’s the Deal, I’m sharing the very real, very awkward, sometimes hilarious truth about dating after divorce — from my first terrifying experience on the apps to the lessons I learned after interacting with over 200 men online. This episode is honest, funny, uncomfortable at times, and deeply eye-opening for any woman considering dating after leaving a high-conflict, toxic, or narcissistic relationship. We’re talking about: ✨ Why I joined dating apps before I was truly ready ✨ Boundaries, safety, and trusting your gut ✨ Scammers, catfishers, bots, and “everything but sex” first dates 🙃 ✨ What I learned while researching for my book Right Swipe: A Quest for Love ✨ The emotional reality of dating after divorce ✨ Why loneliness and healing matter more than rushing into another relationship ✨ How to recognize red flags in dating profiles and conversations ✨ The “Burn the Haystack” dating method and why it matters This episode is part storytelling, part cautionary tale, part healing conversation — and hopefully a reminder that you are allowed to protect your peace while rediscovering yourself after divorce. 📖 Books Mentioned: • Right Swipe: A Quest for Love by Marilee Grace • Burn the Haystack Dating Method by Jennie Young, PhD 💛 If this episode resonated with you, please like, comment, and subscribe. You are not meant to do this alone. Together, we will continue to rise.

  8. May 8

    Girl Math Won’t Heal You: The Real Truth About Dating After Divorce

    Are you really ready to date after divorce… or are you trying to heal a wound someone else created? In this episode of Okay, So Here’s the Deal, Marilee Grace gets brutally honest about dating after a high-conflict divorce, the temptation of dating apps, and why healing has to happen before you start looking for love again. Because here’s the truth nobody wants to hear: Wanting someone to finally treat you the way you begged your ex to treat you… is not the same thing as being ready to date. Through personal stories, coaching techniques, and a powerful “Seven Layers / Smoking Gun” exercise, Marilee helps you uncover the real reason you may want to start dating again—and whether it’s coming from curiosity, loneliness, validation, pain, or true readiness. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “girl math” doesn’t work when it comes to healing after divorce  How to use the “Smoking Gun” technique to uncover your true motivations  Why healing takes longer than most people want it to  What you should focus on during the first 18–24 months after divorce  How to rebuild your identity, peace, confidence, and joy before inviting someone new into your life  Why learning to be alone is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself  The difference between wanting love… and wanting validation  This episode is honest, validating, funny in places, and deeply grounding for anyone navigating life after divorce. And if you’ve been tempted to download the apps because your ex moved on quickly? Marilee has thoughts. Buckle up, gorgeous. Healing is not punishment. It’s preparation for the life you truly deserve.

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About

Okay, So Here’s the Deal is a divorce recovery podcast for women who are done playing small after toxic or high-conflict marriages. Hosted by Amazon Best Selling author Marilee Grace, the show dives into healing after divorce, narcissistic relationships, identity shifts, self-love, and rebuilding life with clarity and confidence. We talk growth, grief, joy, boundaries, self-care, and reinvention—without sugarcoating it. If you’re navigating divorce, recovering from a toxic relationship, or ready to rewrite your story and rise unapologetically, this space is for you. We’ll laugh, cry, and grow together. Buckle up, beautiful—it’s time to rise.

Information

  • Creator
    Marilee Grace
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Okay, So Here’s The Deal