Jackie Faber: Inside My Journey

Jackie Faber
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  • Personal Journals
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This podcast is me showing up and speaking in real time. No scripts. No teaching. No performance. Just my lived experience as it unfolds — thoughts, realizations, identity shifts, and whatever wants to be spoken. These conversations explore healing, trauma, personal sovereignty, perception, energy, and what it means to stop performing growth and start living in alignment. Listen at your own pace.

  1. 3d ago

    S1 E18: I Didn't Heal My Anxious Attachment — I Dissolved the Pattern

    For years, I deeply identified with anxious attachment. I believed distance meant danger.Space meant rejection.Uncertainty meant abandonment. And because of that, every relationship became organized around securing connection, preserving closeness, and preventing people from leaving. But what if anxious attachment isn't actually about love? What if it's a nervous system safety-seeking pattern? In this episode, I share how my perspective on attachment styles completely changed after understanding nervous system orientation, self-referencing, and recognition. We'll explore: • Why avoidant people no longer trigger me• The difference between self-referencing and other-referencing• How anxious attachment becomes organized around safety• Why managing triggers is different from dissolving patterns• The moment I stopped relating to people through the lens of abandonment I didn't heal by finding people who wouldn't trigger me. I healed by recognizing the pattern that was creating the trigger in the first place. Resources mentioned in this episode: 📘 Permission to BeA book about trauma, identity, spirituality, and returning to your authentic self. 📖 Recognition ManualLearn how to identify nervous system patterns in real time instead of after they've already taken over. 🔄 Orientation ShiftA deeper dive into how your nervous system organizes around safety, relationships, and self-abandonment. If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who is tired of repeating the same relationship patterns, and leave a review. It helps more people discover the show. anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, attachment styles, attachment theory, nervous system healing, self safety, self referencing, abandonment wounds, fear of abandonment, relationship anxiety, healing attachment wounds, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, emotional healing, codependency, anxious attachment recovery, relationship patterns, emotional triggers, recognition work, orientation shift, self abandonment, personal growth, spirituality and healing, nervous system patterns, attachment trauma, secure attachment, emotional regulation, inner child healing, healing journey, Jackie Faber

    21 min

  2. May 29

    S1 E17: Why I Couldn’t Finish My Book Until I Changed

    Today is a really big day for me because my book, Permission to Be, is officially out on Amazon. But this episode isn’t just about the release of the book.It’s about the evolution behind it. What started as a book about loving an addict slowly transformed into something much deeper as I moved through divorce, emotional abuse, spirituality, nervous system healing, and ultimately — embodiment. Every single time I tried to finish this book before I had fully lived the lesson, the book stopped. In this episode, I talk about: why the original book never got writtenthe abusive relationship that changed everythingrealizing I was still self-abandoning in real timethe shift from abuse content into spiritualityhow the chakra system became a mirror for my own fragmentationwhy I couldn’t fully write about the higher chakras yetthe difference between understanding healing and embodying itwhat finally allowed me to complete Permission to BeThis episode is less of a teaching episode and more of an honest reflection on the last few years of my life and the journey that shaped this book. Permission to Be is now available on Amazon in paperback and ebook format. Signed copies are also available in limited quantities through my Stan Store. Jackie Faber Stan Store permission to be, self abandonment, self trust, spirituality podcast, healing journey, emotional abuse recovery, chakra healing, embodiment, nervous system healing, spiritual awakening, codependency recovery, self healing, trauma healing, people pleasing, authenticity, personal growth podcast, healing podcast, spiritual growth, conscious relationships, shadow work, self worth, finding authenticity, inner healing, emotional healing, reiki, self responsibility, spiritual transformation, healing after abuse, chakra system, nervous system regulation

    19 min

  3. May 22

    S1 E16: What If Most Harmful Behavior Is Unconscious?

    There was a time when I viewed harmful behavior almost entirely through the lens of unconscious survival. Then I entered online abuse discourse… and suddenly everything became intentional, calculated, toxic, narcissistic, manipulative. In this episode, I talk about my own experience moving between those two extremes — from over-humanizing harmful behavior to briefly dehumanizing human behavior altogether — and how understanding the nervous system changed the way I see relationships, trauma, manipulation, healing, and consciousness itself. This conversation explores: black-and-white thinkingnervous system organizationtrauma and unconscious behaviorcertainty as emotional regulationpolarity in healing spacesself-reference and relational dynamicswhy nuance feels threatening onlineand why human behavior is often far more complex than “good vs evil”This is not a conversation about excusing harm. It’s a conversation about moving beyond simplistic frameworks and understanding what actually drives human behavior. Explore my work #healing #trauma #nervoussystem #selfawareness #relationships #consciousness #attachmentstyles #selftrust #personalgrowth #psychology

    25 min

  4. May 15

    S1 E15: I Stopped Managing Everyone's Feelings

    In this episode, I talk about one of the biggest patterns I’ve uncovered within my relationships: over-functioning. For years, I thought I was being loving. Supportive. Responsible. I thought I was creating emotional safety. But underneath it all, I was often managing everyone’s emotional experience because I was afraid that if people were uncomfortable, hurt, or having different emotional reactions… the relationship would be threatened. This became especially apparent inside blended family dynamics, where I constantly felt pulled between my partner’s feelings and my daughter’s feelings — trying to make sure nobody felt rejected, abandoned, or uncomfortable. In this episode, I share a recent real-life experience that made me realize how differently I handle these situations now. We talk about: → over-functioning in relationships → emotional management and self-abandonment → blended family dynamics → loyalty conflicts → nervous system capacity → emotional safety → allowing people to have their own emotional experience → staying connected to yourself without choosing sides This episode is really about what happens when you stop trying to manage everyone else’s emotions… and finally learn how to stay grounded in your own truth while allowing others to navigate theirs. Learn more about my self-safety framework: https://stan.store/jackiefaber over functioning, over functioning in relationships, blended family dynamics, nervous system healing, emotional safety, self abandonment, attachment wounds, emotional regulation, codependency, relationship anxiety, self safety, internal orientation, nervous system capacity, people pleasing, emotional boundaries, step parenting, blended families, healing relationship patterns, relationship triggers, emotional maturity, anxious attachment, family dynamics, emotional processing, self trust, relationship healing

    19 min

  5. May 8

    S1 E14: Why “Impact Over Intent” Is Creating Dysfunction in Your Relationships

    We’ve been taught to prioritize impact over intent. To be aware.To take responsibility.To make sure what you say lands well. And on the surface… that sounds healthy. But what if the way this is being applied is actually training you to leave yourself in real time? In this episode, I break down how “impact over intent” has quietly shifted from accountability → into over-functioning. Not because you don’t care…But because you care so much that you’ve started organizing yourself around how you’re received. → You monitor your tone→ You rehearse what you’re going to say→ You adjust in real time to make sure it lands And without realizing it…You stop referencing yourself. This isn’t a communication issue. It’s an orientation issue. In this episode, I walk you through: Why prioritizing impact can create dependency (not responsibility)How over-functioning actually trains the other person not to growThe subtle moment where you override what’s true for youThe difference between being self-aware vs being self-referencedHow to stay with yourself without dismissing someone else’s experienceBecause real accountability doesn’t start with their reaction. It starts with you. The Recognition Manual → Learn how to catch the pattern while it’s happeningThe Orientation Shift → Build the capacity to stay with yourself in real time 🔗 Ready to go deeper? impact vs intent, impact over intent relationships, emotional responsibility in relationships, overfunctioning in relationships, anxious attachment patterns, people pleasing patterns, relationship anxiety, nervous system regulation relationships, self trust in relationships, attachment theory vs nervous system, codependency patterns, relationship dynamics psychology, emotional intelligence vs overfunctioning, how to stop people pleasing, self abandonment patterns, healing relationship patterns, relationship coaching podcast, personal development relationships, secure attachment vs anxious attachment, internal vs external validation, self referencing vs other referencing

    18 min

  6. May 1

    S1 E13: When You Stop People Pleasing… and Start Seeing It Everywhere

    You stop people pleasing…and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere. You notice who can’t say no.You notice who overextends.You notice who says yes… and then feels resentful. And it puts you in a weird position. Do you adjust because you can see their pattern?Or do you let them face it? In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening in those moments—how overfunctioning doesn’t just disappear when you become aware of it… it just changes form. We talk about:→ why “you’re responsible for your impact” gets misused→ how overfunctioning becomes identity (and feels like being “caring”)→ the line of responsibility you were never taught→ why adjusting for others reinforces the pattern→ redefining care, non-interference, and unconditional love If you’ve done the healing but still find yourself adjusting in real time—this episode will show you why. Ready to explore my work? https://stan.store/jackiefaber people pleasing, overfunctioning, boundaries, self abandonment, emotional patterns, nervous system, self trust, codependency, personal growth, healing journey, relationships, emotional awareness, self responsibility, mindset, trauma patterns, inner work, self development, attachment patterns, relationship dynamics, emotional intelligence

    20 min

  7. Apr 24

    S1 E12: When Telling Your Story Can Keep You Stuck (Healing vs Rehearsing)

    You’ve told your story.So why do you still feel stuck? In this episode, I break down something no one in the healing space is talking about: The difference between processing your story… and rehearsing it Because there is a phase where telling your story frees you.But there’s also a point where repeating it keeps your nervous system stuck inside it. I share my own experience of going viral talking about abuse—and how what I thought was healing was actually reinforcing the pattern. We dive into: ✔ Why your brain and nervous system relive the past every time you retell your story✔ How your identity can unconsciously organize around what happened to you✔ The subtle shift from “this happened to me” → “this is who I am”✔ Why constantly analyzing others keeps you externally oriented✔ How healing spaces can become places that reinforce your identity instead of evolving it✔ The difference between sharing from integration vs sharing from activation✔ The real question you need to ask if you feel the urge to keep telling your story This isn’t about judging where you are.It’s about understanding what your system is organizing around. Because that’s the part that actually keeps you stuck. If you’ve done years of healing and something still isn’t shifting…this is the work I teach. Not more processing.Not more understanding.Recognition. Learn more about my work here healing trauma, nervous system healing, trauma identity, telling your story healing, trauma processing vs healing, nervous system regulation, emotional healing patterns, trauma recovery mindset, why am I still triggered after healing, personal development psychology, trauma and identity, somatic healing, self referencing vs external validation, people pleasing and trauma

    28 min

  8. Apr 17

    S1 E11: When You Lose the Ability to Self-Abandon

    A client inside the Self-Safety Lab sent me a video this week about self-trust and internal safety. The creator said something I’ve been speaking about a lot lately—that when you’re fully self-referenced, people can’t manipulate you or gaslight you. And while I agree with that… I think it goes deeper. Because this isn’t just about what other people can or can’t do to you—it’s about what you are no longer available to do to yourself. In this episode, I walk through a real moment from my own life where I was faced with a decision that made sense on paper— more money, more stability, more certainty… …and still couldn’t move toward it. Not because I was avoiding it. Not because I reframed it. Not because I “chose alignment.” But because the part of me that used to override myself…was no longer there. We talk about: what self-abandonment actually is (beyond the obvious)the mechanism that allows you to move against yourselfwhy “pushing through” can still be self-abandonmentthe difference between fear, logic, and truth in the bodywhat changes when your system is no longer organized around external safetyThis is the shift most people are trying to create— but are still approaching from the same pattern that keeps them stuck. 🎥 Credit to the original video referenced in this episode: The Unfiltered Fairy @enchantedforestkc If you’re starting to notice where you can feel what’s true… but still move against it—this is exactly the work we do inside my world. 🔗 Self-Safety Lab (build capacity + internal safety): https://finding-authenticity.kit.com/f53b5abffe 🔗 Orientation Shift (learn the framework at your own pace): https://stan.store/jackiefaber/p/the-orientation-shift self trust, self abandonment, nervous system, internal safety, personal development, emotional regulation, embodiment, trauma healing, identity shift, boundaries, self leadership, alignment, intuition, somatic awareness, mindset, healing vs embodiment

    11 min
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About

This podcast is me showing up and speaking in real time. No scripts. No teaching. No performance. Just my lived experience as it unfolds — thoughts, realizations, identity shifts, and whatever wants to be spoken. These conversations explore healing, trauma, personal sovereignty, perception, energy, and what it means to stop performing growth and start living in alignment. Listen at your own pace.

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