In Between Them

Shannon Darrow
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Personal Journals

Divorce shapes childhood in ways parents often can't see—especially when they're in the middle of an emotional fog, fear, or in survival mode. In Between Them is a parenting podcast that brings forward the voices we rarely hear: the children of divorce, now grown, reflecting on the experiences that shaped them. Hosted by an entrepreneur and mother who navigated her own divorce with a newborn, this family dynamics podcast offers personal understanding and professional insight in every conversation. Raised in a traditional nuclear family but later thrust into a co-parenting reality, the host believes every story matters—because children don't choose divorce, yet they feel its ripples the most. Each episode features honest, vulnerable storytelling from people who lived through their parents' divorce. Some stories are painful. Some are healing and inspiring. All of them reveal what truly impacts a child when a family changes—and what helps them thrive. Unlike most parenting podcasts focused on legal advice or therapy perspectives, this show centers the lived experience of the children themselves, providing clarity for parents who want to make better, more thoughtful, child-centered decisions. Whether you're a parent, professional, or someone who lived it yourself, you'll find wisdom, compassion, and guidance in these conversations. Because understanding the child's perspective might just be the key to doing divorce better. If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of it, these stories can change a child's life forever. To contribute your own story, please contact sdarrow@onward-mc.com directly. New episodes weekly.

  1. 1d ago

    23. Becca - Early Years - Mom Over Did It; At Dad's She Didn't Fit - Disconnection Abounded

    Becca's earliest memories aren't of her parents fighting — they're of a quieter kind of disconnect, and of hiding, every so often, for reasons she couldn't name at the time. Her parents divorced when she was around three. In an unusual twist, her mom initially kept the family home, then later moved out and her dad moved back in. The same-neighborhood logistics made the back-and-forth easier — but the houses themselves couldn't have been more different. At her mom's, it was mac n cheese. At her dad's, it was filet mignon. Two homes, two worlds, two versions of childhood. The harder thread Becca pulls on is the disconnect she felt with her father — something she believes came from how much she reminded him of her mother. He was deeply critical, and she spent years chasing validation she couldn't quite catch. Her mom, meanwhile, was on overdrive, running the show so completely that Becca felt she missed out on doing things for herself. Two well-meaning parents, two different overcorrections, and a kid stuck negotiating the space between them. The redemptive layer of her story: her step-parents turned out to be some of the healthiest influences in her childhood. She had easier, warmer relationships with them than she did with her own parents. And later, the validation she'd waited so long for from her dad finally arrived — through how completely he showed up as a grandfather. He acknowledged that he had missed much of Becca's life, though he attributed much of that to her mother. Imperfect closure, but closure nonetheless. Becca is candid about the dots she's connected between her childhood and what she now calls the "successful failure" of her own 23-year marriage — and she beautifully exemplifies how she is consciously doing divorce better for her own daughter. A story of deep self-worth questions rooted in childhood, paired with the inspiring adult work of processing, evolving, and arriving somewhere she's genuinely happy with. Becca's book recommendations: A Good Neighborhood by Therese Anne Fowler and By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach, mediator, and adult child of divorce, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background07:09 Differences in Homes16:15 Impact of Childhood Experience22:03 Revelation and Reflection28:58 Therapy and Understanding35:50 Understanding Divorce and Its Impact45:50 Parental Relationships and Their Impact52:14 Impact of Childhood Experiences on Adulthood59:06 The Impact of Divorce on Children01:05:21 Responsibility in Divorce and Parenting

    1h 14m

  2. Jun 1

    22. Tara - Early Teen Years - She Loved Her Dad, But He Scared Her Mom - A Story of Grit

    Tara grew up in Texas, one of many siblings, inside a relationship that broke and rebuilt itself again and again. Her parents split and got back together several times — a cycle marked by volatile fights and an underlying fear her mother carried, even when Tara, as a kid, didn't fully feel or understand it. What she did experience, several times, was the middle-of-the-night pack-up. The quick gathering of things. The leaving. And eventually, a leaving they didn't come back from. The layer that makes Tara's story so powerful is the incongruence she had to hold: her father had a volatile relationship with her mother, but his relationship with her was warm, steady, and connected. She loved him. Trying to make sense of both truths at once shaped how she sees people, conflict, and family to this day. Life after the last leaving was anything but stable — the marital home, then the projects, then women's shelters, a trailer park, a string of apartments. And then the part that may hit hardest for anyone who grew up in financial chaos: at 16, Tara started working. Not only for a cell phone bill. She was contributing to her mother for family necessities, an expectation that was never spoken aloud but absolutely understood. That kind of early adultification leaves marks, and she names them clearly. She married young, and in the ten years that followed, did the slow, real work of growing inside a marriage — coming out the other side stronger, clearer, and remarkably self-aware. Tara's is a story of grit in the truest sense of the word: the quiet, daily kind that builds a whole life one decision at a time. Find Tara: Website: RepandEat.comInstagram: @TrainerTara_Fit In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach, mediator, and adult child of divorce, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background06:05 Repetitive Separations11:12 Impact on Siblings16:24 Life Before and After Divorce24:23 Life After Divorce34:06 Parents' Relationship After Divorce40:00 Childhood Perceptions of Fear49:42 Revelations and Admissions59:05 Impact of Parental Communication01:14:21 Life-Changing Books

    1h 17m

  3. May 25

    21. Mark - Nearly 2 years old - Dad Took the Boys and Mom Took the Girl

    Mark was under two years old when his parents divorced — too young to remember the before, but old enough to spend the rest of his childhood inside the after. In this episode, Mark walks us through one of the most unconventional family arrangements we've featured on the show: a split where his dad first took the two younger siblings and his mom took the two older ones — and then, on what Mark calls "draft day," the family reshuffled again, with his mom taking his sister and his dad taking all three boys. It's a story that sounds almost impossible to imagine living through, and yet Mark tells it with the matter-of-factness of someone who simply grew up that way. He saw his mom on weekends, but remembers her as deeply present for the things that mattered to him as a kid. His dad remarried a woman who was strict but kind, and Mark got along with her well. What stays with you in this conversation isn't loud conflict — it's the quiet kind. Mark's parents never fought openly, but there was an underlying tension that was palpable, and he felt it early. He talks about the thing so many kids of divorce will recognize instantly: standing on the field after his games and watching other families gather and chat easily, while his own parents waited in a kind of line-up to talk to him separately. He just wished, simply, that they could have stood there together. In his later years, an unfortunate conflict at his dad's house moved Mark to his mom's — beginning years of living with her, and years of slow, quiet repair work with his dad. That repair was made harder by the fact that neither parent was a natural communicator of feelings; little things have been acknowledged over the years, but not much, and not loudly. Mark's is not a story of an overtly contentious childhood — and that's part of what makes it valuable. He's honest about the residual effects he still sees showing up in his own parenting: the ways he's like his dad, and the specific ways he's working to do things differently. His awareness is the through-line. This episode is a thoughtful look at how childhood experience quietly shapes the parent you become, the lessons pulled from early choices, the importance of unity and non-negotiable values in co-parenting, and how the influence of how parents work together (or don't) lands on the kids. The conversation closes, as always, with a book recommendation and a lighter note to send you off. Mark's book recommendation: Band of Brothers In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach, mediator, and adult child of divorce, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show. Chapters 00:00 Early Life and Family Dynamics05:41 Impact of Divorce15:45 Living Arrangements and Relationships22:14 Moving to Mother's Home31:19 Life Changes and Rapid Transitions37:18 Co-Parenting and Its Impact on Children43:14 The Importance of Co-Parenting and Unity51:43 The Value of Non-Negotiable Parenting Values57:02 Book Recommendations and Lighter Note

    58 min

  4. May 18

    20. *Expert Alert* Carol Barkes - Your Brain on Divorce, Why Parents Struggle to Keep Kids First

    In this expert episode, we sit down with Carol Barkes — America's leading neuroscience-based conflict expert, TEDx speaker, mediator, and consultant — to talk about something every divorcing parent or any professional working with divorce parents needs to understand: what is actually happening inside our brains in the middle of a conflict, and why do well-intended parents make so many mistakes? Carol breaks down, why our brains shut down under conflict and why that matters so much inside divorce — where the stakes are high, the history is long, and almost every conversation is loaded. She gets specific about the impacts on kids. When parents can't regulate their emotions in the middle of conflict, children pay the price — silently, and often invisibly, in ways that surface years later. The good news: parental awareness around their own behavior and reactions is one of the single most protective factors a child can have. Small shifts in how parents show up during conflict make an outsized difference in what kids carry forward. A few of the moments from this conversation that will stick with you: The zinger problem. When someone lands a dig — that perfect, satisfying comeback — the other person's brain literally shuts off. Nothing productive can happen from there. And divorce, as Carol puts it, is full of zingers. Learning to notice the urge and not take the bait may be the most underrated skill in the whole process.Be "conflict curious." Instead of attacking, ask questions. Curiosity is the opposite of contempt, and it's the only thing that keeps the other person's brain online long enough for anything real to happen.Perspective is everything. Carol gives clear, practical examples of why understanding how the other person is seeing the situation is critical — not because you have to agree, but because you can't move through a conflict you don't actually understand.Strategies you can use today. Concrete tools for staying regulated, slowing the moment down, and protecting your kids from being collateral damage in the middle of an adult disagreement. Whether you're navigating an active divorce, co-parenting through one, or making sense of one you grew up inside of — this conversation will change how you hear your own voice in the middle of a fight. Find Carol: Website: carolbarkes.comInstagram: @carol.barkesWatch her TEDx talk: youtu.be/ulDT5C_LXkk Carol's book recommendation: Words Can Change Your Brain by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman. Chapters 00:00 The Role of Neuroscience in Conflict Resolution35:34 Understanding Power Dynamics in Co-Parenting46:58 Unintended Impacts of Divorce on Children58:17 Managing Emotions and Communication in Mediation Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at shannon@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod

    1h 8m

  5. May 11

    19. Vanessa - 3 years old - From "I'm Fine" to Honest: Absent Father, Strong Mom, then Peace

    Vanessa was three years old when her parents divorced — too young to understand what was breaking, but old enough to start building something new. In this episode, Vanessa shares the story of growing up as one half of a team with her mom, a stretch of time spent at her grandparents' house, and the every-other-weekend rhythm with her dad that anchored her childhood — until he moved away, and the distance changed everything. What was supposed to be a plan became space. And space, over time, became resentment. Vanessa walks us through the emotional evolution most kids of divorce know intimately but rarely get to name out loud: the "I'm fine" years, where she leaned on her mom's strength and convinced herself she didn't need anything more; the teenage years, when "fine" cracked open into anger toward her dad; and now, as an adult, the more complicated place of seeing all the missed opportunities clearly — while still wanting to know her dad as a person, not just as the parent who wasn't there. But this episode isn't only about looking back. It's about what Vanessa has built forward. In her own parenting and step-parenting journey, she's taken the hardest parts of her childhood and turned them into a blueprint: keep the calm, keep the peace, and protect the kids from the noise the adults create. She and her family have laid a strong foundation between blended households, learned that flexibility almost always creates a better outcome than rigidity, and built a one-of-a-kind parenting time schedule that genuinely works for everyone involved — kids included. Tune in for Vanessa's childhood story and so much more — there's a lot to learn here about absent fathers and what reconnection can (and can't) look like later in life, but also about married life, blended family dynamics, and how everything from back then has been carried forward to make her stronger, softer, and more aware in the life she's living now. Connect with Vanessa's Business: Instagram: @abranchandcord Book Recommendation from this episode: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins Takeaways Parental influence shapes childhood experiencesReconnecting with absent parents can lead to personal growth Childhood experiences impact adult relationshipsCommunication is key to resolving conflicts and maintaining relationships Chapters 00:00 Early Life and Family05:56 Transitioning Between Homes12:00 Teen Years and Relationship with Father18:02 Changing Last Name and Reconnecting with Father25:53 Reflections on Parental Influence35:53 Dating and Relationships50:45 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting59:04 Flexibility in Parenting Schedules01:09:08 The Value of Communication

    1h 5m

  6. May 4

    18. Rashelle - 15 years old - Her Unruly Childhood Helped Her Do Divorce Better

    The Long Shadow of a Divided Home: Rashelle's Story When Rashelle was just 5 years old, she lost her biological father. By 6, her mom had remarried, and by 15, that marriage was ending too. But the divorce itself wasn't the hardest part — it was everything that came with it. A house filled with constant fighting. The instinctive, bone-deep urge to shield her two younger siblings from the storm. The quiet weight of being the oldest in a home where the adults couldn't hold it together. In this episode, Rashelle takes us back to moments that still sting — like senior night, when her parents struggled to stand together to take a single photo with her. That animosity didn't fade with time. Now in her 40s, she still can't mention one parent in front of the other without everything going sideways. But this is where her story turns. Rashelle opens up about how the pain of her childhood became the blueprint for one of the most intentional choices of her adult life: building a united co-parenting front with her ex-husband for their daughter. It isn't always easy. There are hard days, hard conversations, and moments where it would be easier to let the wall go up. But Rashelle does the work — every single time — because she's giving her daughter the very thing she longed for and never received: two parents who can stand together, even after standing apart. Connect with Rashelle: Instagram: @realtorrashelleRealtor serving the Willamette Valley, OregonListen to her podcast, The Realtor Who Wines, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Book Recommendation from this episode: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins Takeaways Family dynamics impact childhoodManaging parental conflict as a childLong-lasting impact of parental divorce Impact of Divorce on Parent-Child RelationshipsParenting Through Divorce Setting BoundariesLetting Go of Control Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background05:54 Impact of Parental Divorce14:51 Coping Strategies and Impact20:57 Parental Conflict and Impact on Relationships56:08 Supporting Children's Relationships with Step-Parents01:05:43 The Long-Term Journey of Co-Parenting01:12:35 Clothing and Material Matters01:19:05 The Power of Boundaries

    1h 18m

  7. Apr 27

    17. *Expert Alert* Ilian Alchehayed - Family Law Attorney in Orange County, CA - Keeping Kids First

    In this episode, Ilian Alchehayed, a Certified Family Law Specialist in Orange County, California, shares insights from his experience working with families navigating divorce. He explores the challenges parents face during separation and emphasizes why understanding the impact on children is essential. Ilian discusses how parenting time schedules have shifted over the years—from flexible arrangements to more structured and rigid systems—and what that means for families today. He highlights the importance of truly putting children first, noting that outcomes for kids are closely tied to the decisions and behaviors of their parents. He also breaks down how divorce affects children differently depending on their age, and why greater awareness of these developmental differences can help parents better support their kids through the transition. The conversation dives into the realities of co-parenting, including common pitfalls and strategies for doing it effectively. Ilian shares real-world examples of how fear-driven decisions can negatively impact children—and how parents can instead make thoughtful, child-centered choices. Ultimately, Ilian reinforces that while divorce is difficult, children can adapt and even thrive when parents remain intentional, cooperative, and focused on their well-being. Ilian practices at Tustin Law Group. He also recommends the book The Whole-Brain Child as a valuable resource for parents seeking to better understand and support their children at various stages of development. For information on this podcast or if you want to be a guest you can find more details at my website. Takeaways Certified Family Law SpecialistImpact of Divorce on Children Parenting after divorceImpact of divorce on children Chapters 00:00 Becoming a Certified Family Law Specialist10:28 The Evolution of Parenting Time and Parenting Schedules36:48 Co-Parenting and Parenting Styles51:39 Parenting After Divorce01:04:09 Co-Parenting and Child Support01:19:13 The Reality of Divorce01:28:06 Making Decisions from a Fear-Based Position

    1h 30m

  8. Apr 20

    16. Carly - Part 3 - The Final - A Mother's Reflections on Her Divorce for Daughter & Stepdaughter

    Carly is the mother of Kate (episode 14) and stepmother to Sydney (episode 15) and in this episode she reflects on their episodes and what she heard, what surprised her and what resonated with her. She covers a wide range of topics, including her own speech pathology and how that impacted her step-parenting, personal experiences with illness and parenting, her divorce, difficult co-parenting and positive step-parenting. Takeaways Resilience and support play a crucial role in recovery and coping with life-changing experiences.Step-parenting and co-parenting dynamics have a significant impact on children and their perspectives. Respectful co-parenting relationships are crucial for the well-being of children.Parental support and independence play a significant role in children's development. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background05:08 Impact on Children During Illness10:27 Impact of Divorce on Children16:58 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Dynamics23:05 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Dynamics with Teenagers28:42 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Reflections on Parenting34:33 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Challenges and Responsibilities47:21 Navigating Co-Parenting Relationships53:50 Parental Influence and Independence01:03:12 Reflections on Parenting and Co-Parenting01:26:49 Community Support and Impact on Children

    1h 13m
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5
out of 5
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About

Divorce shapes childhood in ways parents often can't see—especially when they're in the middle of an emotional fog, fear, or in survival mode. In Between Them is a parenting podcast that brings forward the voices we rarely hear: the children of divorce, now grown, reflecting on the experiences that shaped them. Hosted by an entrepreneur and mother who navigated her own divorce with a newborn, this family dynamics podcast offers personal understanding and professional insight in every conversation. Raised in a traditional nuclear family but later thrust into a co-parenting reality, the host believes every story matters—because children don't choose divorce, yet they feel its ripples the most. Each episode features honest, vulnerable storytelling from people who lived through their parents' divorce. Some stories are painful. Some are healing and inspiring. All of them reveal what truly impacts a child when a family changes—and what helps them thrive. Unlike most parenting podcasts focused on legal advice or therapy perspectives, this show centers the lived experience of the children themselves, providing clarity for parents who want to make better, more thoughtful, child-centered decisions. Whether you're a parent, professional, or someone who lived it yourself, you'll find wisdom, compassion, and guidance in these conversations. Because understanding the child's perspective might just be the key to doing divorce better. If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of it, these stories can change a child's life forever. To contribute your own story, please contact sdarrow@onward-mc.com directly. New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    Shannon Darrow
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Shannon Darrow