Holy Desires

Nathan Bartel
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Christianity

Hey, I'm Nathan. Each week, I grab a coffee and we talk about what it really means to become the husband and the man god created you to be - inside and outside the bedroom. There aren't many places where Catholic men can have honest conversations about sex. This is one of them. We'll tackle the hard stuff: the struggles, the frustrations, the questions you don't know who to ask. We'll ditch the shame and awkwardness. We'll also get real about how sex is one of the fruits of a healthy marriage; you don't get a sweet and tasty apple from a diseased tree, and you don't get a passionate sex life from a marriage that has been on the back burner for years. There's a lot to talk about! Grab a coffee, pull up a chair, let's get started.

  1. 1d ago

    Your Marriage Is a Vineyard - are you a good tenant?

    God has entrusted you with a little corner of the world to cultivate: your marriage and your family. What kind of fruit is growing there? The vineyard readings from Isaiah and Matthew got me thinking about that question, and about how easily I can expect good fruit without doing the daily work of love (I'm preaching to myself here, too). In this conversation, I'll share why the garden is such a helpful image for marriage, what tending it looks like through forgiveness, humility, and affection, and how that care connects to a mutually fulfilling life of intimacy. I'll also return to the wedding feast at Cana and the hope that God's grace can make more of your marriage than you could produce on your own, even through the struggles. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  2. Sep 29

    Should Catholics Talk So Openly About Sex?

    Should Catholics talk openly about sex? I’ve been doing this long enough that I’ve heard some of the same objections come up over and over again. In this episode, I address four of them directly. 1) Some men worry that public conversations cheapen something sacred and private. 2) Others believe solid theology should be enough and that discussions about the practical aspects of sex aren’t needed. 3) Some have a hidden or acknowledged doubt that anything in their marriage can change, so it’s not worth trying. 4) Finally, a surprising number of men assume they have nothing to learn and no need to improve and that their wife is the only one who needs to change. I share my thoughts on each one of these: We’ll talk about how respectful discretion can coexist with honest conversation, why theology still needs prudential application to live it our in the concrete realities of our lives, where hope comes from when your circumstances feel stuck, and why humility always begins with the man in the mirror. (I’m preaching to myself here too.) Everything I teach in Holy Desires serves a deeper purpose: helping husbands love their wives, grow in holiness, and cultivate the joyful, connected marriage God designed for them. Enrollment for the Fall 2026 Holy Desires formation is open through Saturday, October 3. Learn more and join us. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  3. Sep 21

    Want your marriage to change? Start with yourself.

    Most of us are quick to notice what our wife could do differently when marriage feels stuck. The harder but more effective question is the one we ask the man in the mirror: How am I showing up, and how is God asking me to grow? In this conversation, I’ll share several insights from men who completed Holy Desires this spring, including why marriage is never 50/50, how changing your own steps changes the whole dance, and why taking responsibility for your heart, habits, and perspective is empowering rather than discouraging. We’ll also talk about your vocation as a husband, the call to love your wife all the way to heaven, and the tools that can help you cultivate a more vibrant, passionate, and faithful marriage. Holy Desires, my program for Catholic husbands to to help them grow in intimacy with their wives, is designed specifically to give you the tools you need and the brotherhood to support you. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  4. Aug 20

    The Rules of the Game: Work vs. Family

    The group of Catholic dads I was hanging out with all nodded with ironic, knowing smiles. Someone had just shared that no matter how successful you are at work, you always get knocked down a few notches when you come home. Honestly, I've felt that too. Why is that? The rules for success at work are not the same as the rules for success at home. Let's chat about the differences. Grab a coffee and join me. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  5. Jul 29

    Rewire: What Porn Does to Your Brain and How Healing Begins

    Most good Catholic men who want freedom from porn have been handed two tools: try harder and pray harder. Prayer and discipline matter deeply, but many men are still missing a map of what is happening in the brain and how healing takes place. In this conversation, I’ll share why I made Rewire and why I'm making it free. We'll overview the science of how dopamine, supernormal stimuli, and neuroplasticity shape the struggle and discuss why understanding these processes can help you win the fight for freedom. We’ll also talk about the difference between freedom from porn and freedom for the beautiful vision God designed for marriage. (Because tearing down lies is only part of the work.) You need truth, a plan, and something worth building in their place. Whether porn has been part of your story or you want to help a friend, brother, or son, I hope this gives you a way forward without shame. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  6. Jun 29

    The Retreat That Turned Our Marriage Around

    There was a season when Sarah and I were basically roommates running a household together. Life got difficult. We got stressed. We let our marriage slip to the back burner without ever really deciding to. In this chat, I'll share about the weekend that turned things around for us. I'll share what actually thawed the frost between us (including one rainy afternoon sitting in our parked car that I still remember vividly), why the warmth of your marriage is the soil that connection in the bedroom grows out of, and one small step you can take this week to add a little warmth at home. A marriage drifts toward cold on autopilot. The good news, the real good news, is that warmth can be rebuilt, in any season. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. Resources mentioned in this episode: 🏖️ Abundant Live: For four weeks this July, Sarah and I walk with couples live through the most marriage-changing parts of our Abundant course. Enrollment is open through Sunday. www.canafeast.com/abundantlive ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  7. Jun 13

    What a Dinner Date Can Teach Us About Sex

    Imagine taking your wife out to a beautiful dinner. You finish your appetizer, your entrée, and dessert while she has barely touched her first course. Then you sit back, satisfied, while she stays at the table hungry and unfulfilled. St. Francis de Sales once used an extended dining metaphor to talk about married love, and I think it can teach us husbands something we really need to hear. In this conversation, I'll share what the Catechism teaches about the purpose of sex in marriage, why a slower and more attentive approach leads to deeper pleasure and connection for both of you, and how a simple dinner date can reshape the way you love your wife. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. Resources mentioned in this episode: 📖 Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

  8. Jun 5

    Why you can't tell your wife to lose weight

    This is a touchy subject, and I almost didn't record it. What do you do when you have real feelings about your wife's changing body? Maybe it's weight. Maybe it's the way pregnancy, stress, illness, or just the years have changed her. Maybe you feel guilty for even noticing. This conversation is not about your wife. This is about what's happening in our own hearts as husbands. In this discussion, I'll share why your wife's body is not a project to manage, what it looks like to love her the way Christ loves the Church, and whether a husband can ever bring up health without leaving his wife feeling one ounce of shame (there's a way that heals and a way that wounds). I'll also share something Sarah said recently that prompted me to talk about this particular topic in the first place. If your desire feels more complicated than it used to, you are not alone. There is a holy way forward. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ Get one of my free resources for Catholic Husbands who want to improve their intimacy: 🔥 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams >>> Get the free PDF guide here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets ⚔️ REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction >>> Access the free 3-part video series here: https://canafeast.com/rewire

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Hey, I'm Nathan. Each week, I grab a coffee and we talk about what it really means to become the husband and the man god created you to be - inside and outside the bedroom. There aren't many places where Catholic men can have honest conversations about sex. This is one of them. We'll tackle the hard stuff: the struggles, the frustrations, the questions you don't know who to ask. We'll ditch the shame and awkwardness. We'll also get real about how sex is one of the fruits of a healthy marriage; you don't get a sweet and tasty apple from a diseased tree, and you don't get a passionate sex life from a marriage that has been on the back burner for years. There's a lot to talk about! Grab a coffee, pull up a chair, let's get started.

Information

  • Creator
    Nathan Bartel
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    27
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Nathan Bartel
  • Show Website
    Holy Desires

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