Joy Restored

Chariti Kupiec
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

I never imagined I’d be living a life marked by both deep love and deep loss. After losing two of my sons, I’ve wrestled with faith, grief, and what it means to keep moving forward when the ground gives way beneath you. What I’ve found is this: grief and faith are not opposites—they coexist. And in that tension, there’s still room for joy. On the Joy Restored Podcast, I share honest stories from my own journey, alongside conversations and soul-care tools to help you navigate yours. Here, we tell the truth about pain, we refuse to sugarcoat faith, and we learn together how to untangle lies, remember what’s true, and live with hope in the middle of the hardest seasons. If you’ve ever wondered how to keep breathing, believing, and even laughing when life looks nothing like you thought it would—this space is for you. RSSVERIFY

  1. 6d ago

    Grief Doesn't Follow Stages

    What if you aren't doing grief wrong, and the map you were handed was never meant to be a map? Most of us learned that grief moves through five tidy stages. The research behind that idea never said it should. In this episode I walk you through where the stages actually came from and why they fall short. I also share what grief looks like at 26½ years after losing our son Cameron, and at 2½ years after losing our son Cooper. We talk about what grief and trauma do to your nervous system. I also share what I learned the hard way, including what loss can teach you to believe, and why a belief can stay put even when you know the right verse. And if you are in the "I can't function" place, I give you a floor to stand on, not a list of ways to feel better. In this episode Where the five stages came from, and what grief research says nowWhy the second year is often harder than the firstWhat grief and trauma do to your body, and why it isn't a character flawHow a loss becomes a belief: experience, word, agreement, vow, beliefThe question that opens the door: "What happened to me?" instead of "What's wrong with me?"What to do when you feel truly stuck and can't functionWhy gratitude can't be demanded, and why real gratitude can take yearsFree workshop: The Sacred Practice of Lament Join me on November 5 [add time and time zone]. It's one hour, live on Zoom. We'll walk the arc of Psalm 77: the cry, the hard questions, choosing to remember, and writing your own lament to come back to. You don't have to be a writer or be sure of anything. Register: https://www.joyrestored.com/sacred-practice-of-lament-workshop Free guide: The Lament Starter A short guide to begin lament on your own, in your own time. Get it here: https://www.joyrestored.com/lament-starter Coming December 1: A Way Through An eight-week group intensive for people who are grieving and are tired of carrying it alone. It's small-group, with a practice each week. It's formation, not therapy. Details and dates: https://www.joyrestored.com/a-way-through Carrying grief or trauma right now? Start here: https://www.joyrestored.com/grief-trauma Next episode (17): the practices, writing and telling your story, what the research really shows, and how to get through the holidays, plus how to love someone who is grieving during them. A note of care: this podcast is for equipping and encouragement. It isn't therapy or crisis care. If your loss is very recent (the last couple of months) or you are in a mental health crisis, please lean on licensed support first. In the U.S., call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You are not broken. You are not behind. And you don't have to walk this alone.

  2. Oct 2

    Forgiveness That Frees You

    What if everything you were taught about forgiveness was too simple for what it actually costs? In this episode, Chariti unpacks why so much of what we call forgiveness is really performance, a softer story we reach for because the full truth feels too unsafe, too unspiritual, too likely to make us look bitter. You'll learn why real research backs this up (a landmark 1986 study found that people who actually named their pain in detail recovered faster, physically and emotionally, than people who stayed quiet about it), why you cannot forgive what you have not been honest about, and why forgiveness was never meant to be a willpower project you grit your way through alone. Using scripture that reveals who is actually asking you to forgive, a Healer, a Freer, patient and gentle, not a distant judge keeping score, this episode walks through what it really takes to get free: telling the whole truth, grieving what it cost you, and letting Jesus meet you in the actual memory, because He is not bound by time the way you are. If you've been white-knuckling your way toward forgiveness and it still isn't sticking, this episode will show you why, and what to actually do instead. Let's decode that. Start where this work actually begins. Take the free Formation Snapshot to find out exactly where your own truth, lament, and forgiveness work needs to start: https://www.joyrestored.com/assessment?id=formation-snapshot Carrying grief or pain from something specific? The free Lament Starter walks you through it: https://www.joyrestored.com/grief-trauma

  3. Sep 11

    Lament & Why it's Important for Grief or Pain

    What if grief isn't the opposite of faith, but a doorway into it? In this episode, Chariti unpacks the difference between complaining and lament, and why one keeps you stuck while the other actually opens a door. You'll learn why nearly a third of the Psalms are songs of raw, unresolved pain, what your nervous system is really doing when grief hits (and why so many of the behaviors we reach for to cope, busyness, scrolling, numbing out, isolating, are really just ways of avoiding the feeling underneath), and why not having a theology of suffering can quietly turn ordinary pain into private shame. Using Psalm 77 as a roadmap, this episode walks through the real shape lament takes: the cry, the wrestle, the choice to remember, and the worship that is never forced, only earned. If you are carrying grief or pain right now, this episode will show you a better way through it than pretending it isn't there. Let's decode that. If pain is where you're living right now, start here: I'm Carrying Pain

  4. Aug 28

    The Wounds

    Your wounds are real. But they were never your beginning. In this episode, Chariti unpacks the difference between the wounds that come from what was done to us and the wounds that come from what was never given to us, and why both leave a mark on the body, not just the memory. You'll learn why the pain you feel today is often a lie still running on old information rather than the actual event, and what your nervous system is really doing when an old wound gets touched. This episode also explores how our earliest relationships quietly shape how safe we feel with God, and why the first step back to who you actually are is telling the truth about what happened, not staying there, but starting there. Let's decode that. Take the free Formation Snapshot assessment to find out exactly where this work needs to begin for you:

    The Wounds

  5. Jun 1

    Get Out of the Waiting Room: The Soul Care Map

    Chariti explains the consistent through line of the Joy Restored podcast: moving from a passive “waiting room” posture into active stewardship of what God has given you. She distinguishes fault from responsibility and teaches that healing and liberty (Luke 4:18) require participation, not waiting. She summarizes how implicit memory and the nervous system drive repeated reactions, noting the brain prioritizes predictability over happiness, and emphasizes that information alone does not transform—new experiences do (neuroplasticity). Chariti defines soul care as tending the inner world and shows how unprocessed pain shapes patterns and false beliefs, supported by Proverbs 23:7 and John 10:10. She presents a sequence for healing—truth as encounter, lament, forgiveness, and remembering—threaded with regulation, illustrating God’s “little by little” deliverance (2 Corinthians 1:10; Deuteronomy) and inviting reflection on what you’ve avoided and what it is costing you.

    Get Out of the Waiting Room: The Soul Care Map

  6. May 15

    How Inner Healing Actually Happens: The Divine Exchange (Practical Steps)

    Chariti explains why willpower and “trying harder” can’t heal deep patterns because implicit memories driving reactions live in the limbic system, not the prefrontal cortex, and healing requires a new experiential encounter that updates meaning through “memory reconsolidation,” which she connects to Jesus’ inner healing prayer and the “divine exchange” described in Isaiah 61 and Isaiah 40. She gives a practical framework: identify an overblown reaction or repeating pattern and what it reveals you believe; ask the Holy Spirit to show the root; go to the memory with honest lament; lay burdens at the cross and release specific feelings and debts; invite Jesus into the memory and receive the truth He gives; then repeat truth statements daily to build new neural pathways, noting research on 60–90 days and longer for deep rewiring. She describes her focused sessions and a 12‑month formation journey built on truth, lament, forgiveness, and remembering, and emphasizes that personal healing affects families through co-regulation and becomes hope for others (2 Corinthians 1; John 10:10). 00:00 Series Recap 00:55 Why Willpower Fails 03:23 Divine Exchange 05:18 Memory Reconsolidation 08:57 Healing Steps Framework 10:58 Lament And Honesty 14:03 Lay It Down 17:25 Rewire With Truth 18:30 How I Work With Clients 22:50 Start Today 29:58 Healing Impacts Others 32:54 Wrap Up And Next Steps

    How Inner Healing Actually Happens: The Divine Exchange (Practical Steps)

  7. May 1

    Healing Lies: Rewiring Implicit Memory through Inner Healing

    How Lies Get In: Agreements, Vows, and the Invisible Architecture of Your Life Building on the prior episode’s discussion of inner healing, implicit memory, and neuroplasticity, Chariti explains how painful experiences are interpreted, assigned meaning, and turned into agreements, vows, and “ungodly beliefs” that feel like present truth and shape patterns in marriage, parenting, relationships, and faith. Using examples (a child shamed for emotions, marital shutdown, a child vowing never to love a pet again after loss), she shows how the brain’s negativity bias and priming keep survival strategies running into adulthood. Chariti outlines common lie categories (about self, others, God, and marriage) and how vows create protective walls that also block love. Hope comes through awareness, pausing to name what’s happening, and inviting the Holy Spirit for encounter-based healing prayer that brings new truth, new experiences, and new neural pathways (Romans 12:2). She previews a next episode on the healing process and invites listeners to ask God what they decided to believe in pain, and to connect via joyrestored.com and chariti@joyrestored.com. 00:00 Welcome and Recap 01:44 How Lies Take Root 02:33 Childhood Example and Vows 04:40 Why Agreements Feel True 08:32 Three Buckets of Lies 11:24 Inner Vows in Real Life 14:18 Hamster Story and Protection 17:02 Walls That Block Love 17:58 Practical Signs in Marriage 19:43 Generational Healing 22:13 Hope and Interrupting Patterns 24:42 Encounter and New Pathways 26:27 Next Steps and Reflection

    Healing Lies: Rewiring Implicit Memory through Inner Healing

  8. Apr 10

    Something is Off & You're Not Crazy

    Questions or Comments? Email us at info@joyrestored.com We're back and we're going every other week from here on out. Life happened, rest was needed, and honestly both were true. Thank you for staying with it. This episode kicks off a three-part series on inner healing, not the conference version, not the mystical version, but the real, biblical, neuroscience-backed version that actually explains why you keep reacting the way you react even when you know better. Here's what we cover: What inner healing is NOT: it's not therapy, not behavior modification, not imagination, and not a one-time event. Clearing this up matters before anything else. The biblical foundation: Jesus opens his public ministry in Luke 4 by reading his own job description out loud: healing the brokenhearted, setting captives free, restoring sight. That's not poetry. That's the mission. And the Holy Spirit continues it. The brain science: your brain has two types of memory. Explicit memories are the ones you can tell as stories. Implicit memories are different, they start forming in the womb, they live in your body as sensation and reflex, and when they get triggered they don't feel like the past. They feel like right now. Neuroscientist Daniel Siegel calls the brain "an anticipation machine" and once you understand that, so much of your automatic behavior starts to make sense. Neuroplasticity: the brain was designed to change. Romans 12:2 isn't just a spiritual instruction, it's a biological promise. New neural pathways are built through new experiences. This is exactly what Jesus does in inner healing prayer, and science finally has a name for what God has always been doing. The one thing to do before next episode, think about the last time your reaction was bigger than the moment deserved. Don't analyze it yet. Just notice it. That moment is probably a door. Scripture references in this episode: Luke 4:17–21 · Isaiah 61:1–3 · 2 Corinthians 1:10 · Deuteronomy 7:22 · Romans 12:2 · Proverbs 23:7 Questions? E-Mail me at info@joyrestored.com

    Something is Off & You're Not Crazy
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

I never imagined I’d be living a life marked by both deep love and deep loss. After losing two of my sons, I’ve wrestled with faith, grief, and what it means to keep moving forward when the ground gives way beneath you. What I’ve found is this: grief and faith are not opposites—they coexist. And in that tension, there’s still room for joy. On the Joy Restored Podcast, I share honest stories from my own journey, alongside conversations and soul-care tools to help you navigate yours. Here, we tell the truth about pain, we refuse to sugarcoat faith, and we learn together how to untangle lies, remember what’s true, and live with hope in the middle of the hardest seasons. If you’ve ever wondered how to keep breathing, believing, and even laughing when life looks nothing like you thought it would—this space is for you. RSSVERIFY

Information

  • Creator
    Chariti Kupiec
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © null
  • Show Website
    Joy Restored